As my car screamed into the parking lot of St. George hospital parking lot, my mind was racing with thought. What hellish luck did I have that the sole witness in my latest investigation may die this day? I was so close to connecting all the dots in this latest quest. The team at the NCC had worked tirelessly, and had what they needed to really begin to expose the underbelly of domestic terrorism in Australia. I just need to get to him before his injuries from the bomb claim his life. May God save him, if only for the greater good of gathering his knowledge. I had foolishly started to plan a family getaway for the weekend with the twins. They desperately needed it, as did I. The last few months had been emotional, hectic, and downright exhausting. Word of the bombing had spread quickly. It had the potential to shake this case to the core and wipe out all the progress they had made. I was running to question him. He was critical and nobody knew whether he would live or die.

Upon entry to the hospital, I stop at the desk to figure out where I need to go. She knew she had to find Tony, as he was already there. Looking up she sees a familiar face coming towards her but it's not Tony.

With a bit of a nervous smile she approaches him, assuming Tony sent him to find her. "Hey Andy, it's been awhile. You and Lina are good, yeah?"

"I think I know why you're here. Let me save you the time. You can find her in room 3996. Currently she's not awake but I think hearing your voice may help for sure."

The confused look on my face must have spoken volumes. Andy realizes that he has spoken out of turn and his cheeks redden.

"She?" I'm thrown off by what Andy has said. I am certain the victim of the bombing is male. Quickly I adjusts my train of thought and a sense of dread of another kind enters my mind.

"Shit! Bloody hell! I thought, well assumed, you were here to see Bianca. After what you guys went through I, uh well, I thought you were coming for her. Now I feel the fool and I likely shouldn't have said a word."

The bombing victim becomes second fiddle to Bianca. My mind races now. "Coming for her? Andy, what has happened to her? Is she ok? What is going on? Tell me please."

The last 8 months of my life have been hard to say the least. I think about Bianca every day and night. I found myself longing for her at night, struggling to get decent sleep without her to hold, and waking to an empty cold side of the bed. I swear I tried to move on, and "get over her already". That's what I was told I needed to do. All of my calls, texts, emails, and visits went unanswered and unacknowledged. Bianca left the NCC without saying goodbye to me and that was the worst part. I had no idea the long term fractures that I had caused between us. Naively, I had thought that saying sorry and talking would solve it all. I had thought she would just forgive me easily, like Ash always had. I found myself fielding questions from the twins about when Bibi was coming for dinner, and when will Bibi come and read the next chapter of Charlottes Web before bed. I knew that they missed her almost as much as I did, but I couldn't bear to tell them the truth. Mommy messed up and Bibi isn't coming for dinner or to read. Mommy was self-absorbed, stupid, and at times cold hearted. They had lost a friend and I had lost a friend and lover.

I felt my eyes brim over with tears and my heart rate increased. "Andy, please tell me what's happened to her. What's happened to Bianca?"

Andy proceeds to tell her all the details. Bianca had spiralled down a dark hole after Janet had told her to mind her own business regarding Graham. Andy told Janet how he was the only one Bianca would talk to. He went over to see her a few times a week and they had become close. Bianca had confided in him how she felt and how she needed to break away from it all. She had given Janet back her house keys as a signal that she was serious and they were over. Part of her was hoping to give Janet a scare and have her come to her senses and they could recover. The other part knew she was too scared to risk her heart. She heard nothing after a week and that's when reality hit home for her. She couldn't be at the office with Janet and not be with her. She was losing herself and she knew it. She left with no notice and sadness hit.

Bianca had come over for dinner with Andy and Lina and had mentioned she had a very bad headache. She went to the toilet and had been gone awhile. Lina went to check on her and found her unresponsive on the tile floor. They called for help and got her to a trauma centre as quickly as they could. Surgeons diagnosed a blod clot to the brain and told Andy that the fact that Bianca was at their home and found immediately, saved her life. Bianca had not awoken yet but the outlook was very encouraging. Cautious optimism was the name of the game but there still was a chance that Bianca would never be the same. Bianca had no parents, but Andy had called her sister and she was on her way from her home in Canada.

A barrage of emotion washes over me, and I am overwhelmed. I can feel my cell vibrating relentlessly in my pocket. I thank Andy for telling me and tell him I will be heading right up to see Bianca.

Message: Tony

We're too late. The bastard died. Take that break you were planning with the kids. You all need one and quite frankly so do I

I find myself outside of room 3996, peering in through the blinds on the window. I can see Andy inside. Jesus, would Bianca even want me to be here? Would she want me to know? Maybe she wouldn't want me anywhere near her. After all, she ignored my efforts of outreach. Andy says that she would likely love to hear my voice. All I've wanted was a chance to see her again. A chance to tell her I'm sorry and beg her for the privilege to try again, or at least explain my side.

I slowly creep into the room, and immediately gasp. My god, she looks so fragile and small lying in the bed. An assembly of machines beep and hiss and work to provide a lifeline to the woman I so deeply love. Andy asked if I would like to be alone with her and I silently nod yes. I have no control anymore over the free falling tears rolling down my cheeks. I just cannot stand to lose another woman I love. I had already lost Bianca but at least she was alive. I always clung to the thought that as long as she was still alive there was a chance, no matter how small, that she would forgive me someday. That's what I had been holding on to. Maybe, just maybe, today was that day.