White Flag
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
He was never a person to hold back what he felt. Why should he? He could never come up with an answer and his upfront nature always won out. So when he felt it he rarely kept it to himself even though he also felt the person he was telling would not respond in kind.
"I still love you but I know it changes nothing."
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
Still the pain would be there in every quiet lonely moment. Pursuing him doggedly but he refused to give into it. He would never even try to move on. He could not give up. Maybe his vision of what love is could be a bit skewed but he held fast to it and could not let go of it.
I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense
He thought back to all the arguments, the fights, and the hurt. The broken things they never bothered to fix that lay strewn on the floor for days in their fits of anger, the strain of celebrity, of infamy. So much of it felt like his own fault.
Since things had ended words between them had been few. One of them always left if they saw the other. They had no reason to be around each other. It was over he didn't want to cause a scene and he was sure it would do no good anyway.
"It's best if I just go."
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
The pain would be there as he turned to walk away. Following him through the dimly lit corridors as he ran to find some quiet corner for a moment's respite but always there. He knew what he felt and there was no releasing it.
And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on...
It was painful he could feel him after all the avoidance they would be forced to meet again. And when it happened to was almost as he'd imagined. His 'date', an old friend, dragged him over. And silver met green with all the electric shock he'd known would be there.
"Draco."
"Harry"
Composing himself he surveyed the other's date an unfamiliar face but attractive. The other doing the same to his.
"I've just come to say 'hullo' I thought it would be rude not to."
"Hullo, then."
"And goodbye?"
"Goodbye."
His date was bewildered whispering as they walked away "I thought you two were friends?"
"Perhaps once upon a time."
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
He walked still dressed in his suit after dropping his date home past his own door knowing where his feet led an not really caring. The pain would remain that sinking weight in his stomach begging him to let go of something that he could not but this would be the last time he would make this walk he assured himself. He would never feel any different than he did now.
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
He loosened his tie eyes fixed on his feet and the concrete below, the walk so familiar even landmarks were unnecessary. Why did he feel the need to do this even one last time? He knew nothing would change he had no hope left still he could not let go. He would always love him and nothing, not time nor distance nor other people could change that. Nothing could replace him. His thoughts blurred as he turned the corner at the halfway point.
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
The slam sent them both reeling backward sprawling out on the floor knocking them out of their silent thoughts. Both mumbling apologies as they stood looking up as green and sliver met once more. Something in their resolve shattered then. It was as though someone pulled a cork from the bottom of a boat on the sea with the two in it. They reached for each other.
"Harry…"
"Draco…"
There was a pause the two closed in. The pain vanished it's hunt suddenly ended by the feeling of arms wrapped tight around bodies.
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
"I couldn't give up"
"I'll never stop loving you"