Disclaimer: I don't own Dynasty Warriors and Dead or Alive. Boy seeing them emerge is going to be troublesome because of this Koei Tecmo partnership.
A/N: As read in the latest chapter of Dynasty Warriors/Samurai Warrios: Get Along or Not, the Koei ladies got into a fight with the ladies of the Dead or Alive series including the girls of Ninja Gaiden. No, I won't put this in crossover section, since DW leading this.
Dead Women or Alive Women
At the Koei building….
The merging of Koei and Tecmo was finished months ago. The Dead or Alive ladies are welcome inside the Koei building swarming with the glares of the Warriors franchise ladies.
"They look like they come here to just show off their ridiculous cup sizes! We get made into realistic A and B cups while those look falsely C cup sizes!" Xiao Qiao ranted in a fit of rage.
"That's because you and your sister were designed to be…little girls. Those two ladies over there should have had the same measurements as you and Da," Diao Chan pointed towards the two kuniochis Kasumi and Ayane.
"Aren't they supposed to be 16 or something? A girl's breast sure matures rapidly to puberty, it's so odd," Xing Cai asked out of curiosity.
"Their creator never bothered to reveal their ages, but it's plainly obvious and I don't think they look any tough judging by their appearance," Sun Shang Xiang nodded.
"Don't judge the book by its cover till we see what they're capable of," Yue Ying warned.
"Look who's talking? Your smart mouth never cease to amuse me Ying….and here I thought you're the one who derails super models who look so beautiful just to get popular," Zhen Ji gave a snobby look at the redhead.
"That blonde who's the tallest, have the biggest cupsize. Is she supposed to be the strongest of the group including that other blonde wielding a halberd we women were restricted to use?" Zhu Rong pointed at the two blondes following the rest of the DOA ladies.
"The other blonde who wore the Chinese scald dress closely resembles to my measurements and the silver hair one have a crooky look that reminds me of Da Ji and Noh," Zhen Ji pointed at the wealthy blonde name Helena and the cold blooded assassin who is a distant behind name Christie.
"A foreigner wearing Chinese custom attire is the most surprising out of these ladies," Da Qiao said.
"Hey, it's the 21st century! Since we're celebrities now, but still go back into time doing our jobs in our games! However, those women are whores!! They're not real women like us! I don't like this merging anyway!" Xiao Qiao stomped off to the meeting room pushing a chinese girl on the way inside and make death glare at her.
"Um, do you have a problem with me?" Lei Fang asked.
"Yes, I have a lot of problems with some whore who imitates Chinese women as helpless prostitutes who are forced to do things against their will for men's desires and ambitions like Zhen Ji over there!" Xiao Qiao pointed at Zhen Ji where the latter returns an annoyed glare.
"Why do people always get the wrong idea about me and reading those stupid sex legends of me cheating on Cao Pi for Cao Zhi? Don't they even know Cao Zhi's only heart was his ill fated wife Lady Cui? It's true that I don't love Cao Pi like the novel and games portray me, but I resent him for his blatant bull and lies, not Guo Wang," Zhen Ji gloomy thought.
"Oh, I read a lot of your fascinating romantic tales about you, Lady Zhen! I even sang a song about it," Helena elegantly gave a hand shake to Luoshen.
"Thanks for enlighten me that, but I've grown tired of my current status quo and wanted to improvise in storytelling, but Koei making things worst since the Dynasty Warriors 6 fiasco. The Cao Pi x Zhen Ji romance still going strong though," Zhen Ji said.
"Think you can persuade Koei to have rival love companion to challenge your relationship with Cao Pi?" Helena questioned.
"Well…..if Koei keeping things balanced for Wei ists, then it has to be Zhang He, but they made Zhang He flamboyant, however we interact. But, if Koei going to revamp myself into a very popular postergirl and if I told you the guy who will interact with me, Shang Xiang, Xing Cai, and Yue Ying will sue me…." Zhen Ji crossed her arms leaning against the wall mumbling the name of that person.
"Ahh, I can see that….well, I became the main character of DOA 4 despite Kasumi and Ayane's crazy fangirls wanting the story to keep focusing on ninjas….," Helena pointed at the two Kunoichis who enter the meeting room.
"Hey, after all you're no longer going to continue your melodrama about your mother dearest I killed and your father's wealth," Christie smirked.
"…….."
"This is going to be one hell of a meeting…." Zhen Ji tapped her cheek satisfied.
Oichi show up with the Samurai Warriors and finally everyone can start the meeting inside the room.
The meeting room, a few minutes later…
"Let's introduce the ladies of Dead or Alive universe," Zhen Ji commenced.
"My name is Kasumi, once the heiress of Mugen Tenshin ninja clan now a runaway shinobi always getting chased by my jealous half sister who wants everything I once had," Katsumi eyes lock at her rival who relaxing with both legs on the table looking cool.
"Stop whining, I was order into it anyway with the pleasure of kicking your ass, not your stupid princess garments I've hated seeing you wear all day because no one likes me on them, because I'm a spawn of Raidou. My name is Ayane and I don't like anything except Lady Zhen's polishing purple eye make up I wanted to buy, Helena's songs and Hayate," Ayane grinned.
The Koei ladies blinked.
"We're relate…." Kasumi sighed.
"Like I said, her villagers slander me as a spawn of Raidou and I could care less now," Ayane toying with her kunai twirling it around.
Everyone paused at the half sisters somewhat dysfunction family life.
"Thank heavens, Xiao would have turned out like her if it happens to us," Da Qiao let out a short faint.
"That's er… rather messed up I say…heh, sucks to be you Ayane," Sun Shang Xiang chuckled nervously.
"And it sucks to see you thrive over your love problems with a pansy. I don't like pansy men too, Liu Bei…ugh," Ayane taunted.
"Keep my love life out of this! It's none of your business! Your incest romances with Hayate gross me out!" Shang Xiang retorted.
"They go on with their rivalry, always advance further towards the tournaments. Yawn, they both suck at volleyball," Tina mocked.
"I'm the winner of the first DOA tournament, you didn't gain anything!" Kasumi objected.
Tina slammed the table angrily, "You've just got lucky, and I've lost my patient with my father always bugging me!"
"You've never had the patient within your fighting instinct Tina…." Lei Fang shrugged.
"S…shut up…..!" Tina grunted.
"She sounds like you, Zhu Rong," Diao Chan giggled.
"I'll take that as a compliment…."Zhu Rong smacked her head.
"My name is Tina Armstrong and I deserve to be the champion!" Tina stands up and pose herself.
"Says the dumb blonde," Lei Fang snickered.
"Shut up!" Tina clings at her teeth, always getting picked on because of her father ruining her dreams.
"Tina, control your temper girl," Lisa refrain her.
She returns to her seat hearing Lei Fang giggling, she just wants to strangle that Chinese girl into pretzel.
"My name is Lei Fang and I know a lot about you all from reading the Three Kingdoms history and the novel. I am best friends with Hitomi and trying to prove to that sexist Jann that I can be his equal without needing to depend on him for saving me like I'm such a weakling," Lei Fang brush her long hair smothering it straight on her back.
"I wonder if I should stop depending on Zhouie to become a better fighter," Xiao Qiao wondered.
Then the next DOA girl presents herself, "My name is Hitomi, I'm best friends with Lei Fang. I made my own underground street fighting at Germany and run the dojo with my father. I love to cook even when I'm shirtless."
"Is she a lesbian?" Xing Cai whispered to Yue Ying.
"Cooking when you're shirtless? That's perverted…" Yue Ying stares at Hitomi.
"Hahaha, well, I'm not afraid to look topless! Besides, I barely pay attention to men except one man I once trained with," Hitomi dimmed flashbacks of Ein who is really Hayate in disguise.
"Yep, she could possibly be a lesbian or bi, whatever…" Xing Cai thought.
And now the next DOA girl Lisa, "My name is Lisa and I'm Tina's rival in the wrestling competition. I'm also a former associate for DOATEC literally as a scientist."
"A Scientist?! Finally, someone I can be compared to!" Yue Ying rejoiced.
""You're Zhuge Liang's wife right, is he also into science?" Lisa asked
"Absolutely and so am I, you can tell us all about the current specs of this generation technology. But, he can be lazy sometimes…" Yue Ying nodded.
"Even thought, she's my tag team partner, I couldn't follow all this E=MC junk," Tina frowned.
"Go back to college and you'll follow the periodic equitation," Lei Fang smirked.
"Science……" Tina grunted.
"Science is the philosophy of life," Kasumi lectured.
"Indeed, it is," Da Qiao smiled.
Then Kokoro introduce herself, "My name is Kokoro and I'm a geisha in training. Helena over here is my half sister, although you all will find this even more confusing than the two kunoichis who are also half sisters"
"I'm still in the dark with my father's affairs….Miyako…" Helena said.
"Surprise, surprise, you're not the only one with the whole half sister gag. At least, your father isn't a rapist like Raidou," Ayane snapped.
"Ayane, please I don't want to hear the name of that heretic!" Kasumi scold.
"Yes your highness, I'll be a good sister to you so your people will like me…." Ayane teased.
"Why does she blame me for her past?" Kasumi wimpered.
"Bad things happens, niisan," Ayane gave Kasumi a funny look of complying the childhood bond.
"It wasn't so bad. I still acknowledge you as part of us!" Kasumi urged.
"Tell that to Hayate. Tell him who I really am or we'll start making love Nee san. He doesn't know and still loves me," Ayane cooted her kunai with a seductive look.
"God, please hurry up with this meeting because I'm sick of those two drama queens gloating their twisted life styles! Japanese women are so weird…so overrated!" Tina hitting her head on the table to her irriation.
"Should I really tell Hayate the truth about Ayane…..?" Kasumi frowned.
"Make it stop!" Tina growled.
"Tina…." Lisa sighed.
"Perhap, we shall ignore the neverending rivalry between the Mugen sisters and introduce….Christie," Helena she called Christie name softly.
"I'm Christie Allen, an assassin for hire. I kill people to make a living. Hardly someone besides Helena look at me forgiven. I also work as a stripper secretly to work behind my "To kill" assignments," Christie said.
"How can a low life be forgiven…?" Yue Ying said disgusted with Christie's intro.
"…….." Helena kept the silence treatment.
"Reminds me of Da Ji," Zhen Ji whispered to Helena.
"This is totally gross….." Sun Shang Xiang raise herself off the chair and started going her rant on not just Ayane, but Christie, "It's not that they're all good looking…"
"And you look uglier compare to your DW 5 counterpart. Have you loss your cupsize from breast surgery and height to become like 12 years old and needy to your prince charming?" Ayane remarks stirs fire from the Sun family heiress. This could go from bad to worst.
"Ayane!" Katsumi scold at her sister's remark.
"You are starting to piss me off. I hate your guts, your ho hum attitude, sad childhood story that you're a bastard's daughter your village loathed and an incest whore!" Sun Shang Xiang takes out her charkams ready to slit the purple haired vixen into shreds.
"Oh, you still have your old weapon?!" Ayane pretends to be surprised.
"I never leave home without it! Much better weapon than the bow I use as a secondary! Those stupid idiots at Koei wanted to make me become a fairy girl much to their idiocy for letting the character designer go along with it!" Sun Shang Xiang readied her stance.
"The fairy outfit, the changing of your cupsize, the ugly man ish face, and annoy voice, at least I dump the stupid outfit after giving it a try knowing Koei let me wear the worst female outfit in the game in Ninja Gaiden 2 Sigma. Now I know the pros and cons of coming into this company. Koei doesn't exquisite my taste for fashion," Ayane let out a yawning sound and it's time for her to leave as she gets out of her seat and head for the door.
"Don't you dare walk out on me! We have a score to settle! If you guys are really strong instead of looking like hentai whores then fight me, for I am a real life martial artist who collect weapons and can fight physical aside from the fact that I barely did anything relate to military. You're just some poser from a man's sick fantasy!" Sun Shang Xiang snarled and strikes her charkams before the rest of the women screamed at her to stop.
"……" Ayane turns into serious mode and dodged the incoming strikes like the objectives on her training since she was a little girl raised by Hajinmon Genra, the father she could have had.
"Damn it, she's fast!" Shang Xiang furiously swift her movements to catch up the female ninja's speed.
"Hm!" Ayane went offense and twisted herself to execute her deadly Tenmu Zeccho counter sending the latter towards the wall. The force of the wall trembles, surrounding the room.
"Shang Xiang!" Xiao Qiao started towards the tomboy princess.
"I like your spunk for a tomboy princess. Too bad, I wish I became princess," Ayane dusted her hands off.
Kasumi went towards the defeated girl, "Are you alright?"
"That…bitch, what the hell did she do…!" Shang Xiang struggled to get up staring at Ayane who show that anagtonized look back.
"I am still the best female character in the game. Now, we're stuck in a company that portrays most of these ladies as weak compare to the men. I even saw Ginchicyo and Kunoichi becoming weaker than their previous selfs in Samurai Warriors 3. How does Koei treat women compare to Team Ninja? Kasumi and I are champions, but Shang Xiang and the rest are a bunch of sissies.," Ayane gloated.
"We're from a terrible warring era with no woman rights!" Da Qiao snapped.
"And only sexist perverts like Zhen Ji's husband and Cao Cao wanted women to be sex slaves to produce them heirs!" Xiao Qiao added.
"Yeah, that's ancient history of abused women….you guys think I'm proud of my life?" Zhen Ji glared at the rest of the DW women.
"But, you got the hot body and a bad ass husband that proves Wei is the best kingdom!" Xiao Qiao complained.
"That kingdom put me to death and it's a fact," Zhen Ji countered.
"Nothing's worse than being born and treated like trash on your early childhood…" Ayane crossed her arms.
"Or having an over protective father who tells me what to do and who I should be…" Tina nodded.
"Abandoning my clan…." Kasumi placed her hands on her chest.
"Feeling weak by depending on men when I can prove myself equal to them," Lei Fang said.
"Forcing to do misguilded science," Lisa nodded.
"Just killing people for a living…." Christie said.
Everyone stare at Christie.
"Lady Zhen, lets end this meeting for the day. We need some time to understand each other in order to improve our relationship with the KoeiTecmo emerge," Helena suggested.
"Of course, Ayane and Sun Shang Xiang almost turn this into a war between Warriors women and DOA because of historical preferences from women of the past and women today. The only thing that didn't change is, we're still being abused in a Man's world," Zhen Ji agreed.
"Oh and I'm the last one to introduce myself. My name is Helena Douglas, the daughter of former chairman of DOATEC and famous chore Maria. I wanted nothing to do with DOATEC, but my life been centered by manipulations. The worst thing in a woman's life is being manipulated and I nearly….took my own life until Zack saved me. I wanted to die…" the last sentence was unheard by her mumbling.
"We all thought she's the bad guy," Kasumi sympathized.
"If I don't deserve to be the main character of DOA 4 because of fans of the story of ninjas, then I don't deserve to be created," Helena uttered.
"….." Kasumi thought she's not the type who hogs the spotlight because she and her half sister are the postergirls.
"That's the fans problem," Ayane said.
"I want to be the main character this time," Tina groaned.
"Helena is more suitable for the role. You should get your own wrestling game," Lei Fang wigged her finger.
Tina grumbled.
"Yeah, like that wrestling game Rumble Rose. They should make you a hidden character there, Tina," Lisa teased.
"Hah ha ha….." Tina stares at Lisa dully.
"Sis, we can't let these gals hang around the Koei building, what if Zhouie end up getting their attention?" Xiao Qiao whined.
"Oh, Zhou Yu?! I wanted to see him. Mind letting me be introduce to him?" Lei Fang asked.
"Hell no, stick with your bland Bruce Lee knock off and leave my hero alone. Zhou Yu is mine and its heaven's will we're meant for each other!" Xiao Qiao snapped.
"For a whiny brat, one of the most intelligent men had to stumble to such a controversial marriage judging by your child like personality in Dynasty Warriors. I read in history, you're more of an animal rights lover," Lei Fang twitched her left eyebrow.
"What's wrong with that!? I love animals especially cute foxes that don't bite," Xiao Qiao stuck her tongue out at Lei Fang.
"Does she love snakes?" Christie mentioning a dangerous serpent has Xiao Qiao taken aback by what she meant.
"Anything, but Snakes, I hate snakes! And spiders too!" Xiao Qiao shuddered.
"Hahahaha, they're lethal and feared by the whole food chain," Christie said.
"I think we're actually getting to understand each other better," Diao Chan said.
"Well, that's it for today," Zhen Ji smiled.
"Don't think this is over between us, Ayane! I will beat you!" Sun Shang Xiang threatened.
"You…beat me, the best female fighter in Dead or Alive?! Ohohohoh! Such vexputious determination," Ayane laughed.
"We are still relate mother….." Kasumi looked down sadly uttering the words of her mother Ayame.
The End.