I wrote this for the Germancest Secret Santa 2014, for askcosplay-prussia tumblr. It was my first time participating and I have to say, it's been really fun! The whole idea of secret santas is really amazing uvu
Ludwig stamped his foot impatiently, checking his wristwatch every other minute.
He was getting late for work and the queue was not getting any shorter, but he was determined to buy a cup of hot chocolate and he wouldn't leave until he had. Goddamn these slow baristas and customers taking forever to pick their order. They ought to be banned from stressful mornings.
Outside it was freezing cold. Without doubt, the first snowfall would come during the day. Maybe they would actually have a white Christmas for once. Not that Ludwig gave a damn. Christmas could be cancelled for all he cared, it wouldn't make a difference to him.
One step forward. Ludwig glanced at the grandfather clock by the wall. 08:43. The café might look vintage and classy, but their service was nothing to write home about. At this rate, Ludwig's reputation of never even once coming in late would be ruined. And for what? A hot chocolate for the homeless guy at the street?
God, sometimes Ludwig was too much of a nice guy.
.
Ten minutes later, he left the coffee shop with one cup of hot chocolate and one cup black coffee. Unsurprisingly, the homeless man was still in his usual spot across the street, wrapped up in a blanket and not paying attention to the people walking by without sparing him as much as a glance.
That was what had caught Ludwig's attention at first. The man never begged, never asked for money. He just sat there, back against the wall and a rugged cup in front of him, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Not the "hey I'm a junkie" drug-induced state of lost, but like he had a mind palace much more inviting and pleasant than the outside world.
Ludwig crossed the street with quick steps, feeling the ever present stress build up to a churning stone in his stomach. He didn't have time for this, yet here he was, having spent fifteen minutes buying a drink for a man whose name he didn't even know.
But as he knelt in front of said man and held out the cup, receiving a wide, grateful grin and a "thank you" in return, it was all worth it. God, it was so worth it.
Ludwig thanked god for the cold weather; he could blame the hotness that spread on his cheeks on it and pretend the warmth that replaced the tension in his stomach was because of the coffee he just took a sip of.
He didn't have a crush. It certainly wasn't anything near a crush. Especially not on a homeless man he barely knew. He was intrigued by the man, that he could admit, but nothing else. The only reason he took this road every morning, even if it took him five minutes more to walk, was simply because of the good will in his heart. Not because whenever he saw that smile, directed at him, he felt like it was the best day ever, and absolutely not because he spent the whole day thinking about the man and looking forward to seeing him.
.
"You're such a good person", said the man suddenly, when Ludwig didn't instantly leave.
His crimson eyes were focused directly at Ludwig, and he had this way of looking at him like he could see right through him. Ludwig always got the feeling of being an open book under his gaze, but somehow, he didn't mind.
"I'm just doing what everyone should do", Ludwig said. He ought to hurry away, maybe even run the last kilometre to work, but still he didn't move.
"Tssk- so humble", the man said with a short laugh. "You're the only one doing it. People have lost their sense of solidarity." He snorted, shaking his head and taking a sip of the hot beverage. "Not even on Christmas eve do they spare a thought for anyone else than themselves."
Ludwig watched the man as he let out a low sigh and cast a few glances at the people rushing by. He couldn't be much older than Ludwig, maybe a couple of years, but his pale complexion, tousled white hair and unkempt stubble made him look older than he was, almost ghostly in the dim morning. Despite the tired bags under his eyes and slightly malnourished features, he had a certain kind of beauty. It was captivating, breathtaking, and Ludwig spent way too much time thinking about it.
"Then there's you."
Ludwig abandoned his trail of thoughts and met the man's eyes once more. He was smiling again, a cheeky, almost proud smile.
"You always look like you're in such a hurry, yet you're one of the few who stop here every day."
"I just... Want to do something nice for someone", Ludwig said, averting his eyes. I just want to see you.
The man snickered, arching a brow.
"Sure, let's keep it like that."
Ludwig's legs had started to ache dully, as if they urged him to get a move on. Yet he stayed, both of them sipping on their hot beverages in silence. The air was chilly and a steam slowly ascended towards the sky from their cups. Christmas might be ruined for him, but in this moment everything still was perfect, in this moment none of that mattered.
"I ought to get going", he said after a few minutes.
"You probably should, yeah," said the man.
Ludwig rose, stretching his legs for a second.
"I'll see you around." With that, he turned to hurry away. Towards a near empty office and a long day of efficient, thought-consuming work.
"Hey."
He stopped, glancing at the man over his shoulder.
"Thank you."
Ludwig gave him a short smile and a nod.
"Merry Christmas."
.
.
"... Navidad, Feliz Navidad, Prospero año y Felicida-"
Crash!
Ludwig glared at the radio, which now was nothing but a broken mess on the floor, along with his cup. He couldn't stand a second more of the cheerful Christmas tune. The good mood from the morning was long gone and he felt more bitter than Scrooge himself.
The lunch room was empty save for himself, which suited him perfectly fine. He didn't want anyone's company. His colleagues had gone home long ago, the few of them that had come by the office on Christmas, but Ludwig dreaded the moment he would have to leave the building and head home. The fact that his colleagues had had a boasting competition about who would have the most pompous Christmas had done nothing to lift his spirits.
Being alone on Christmas had been far from his plan; he had invited a few, carefully selected friends and prepared food for days and spent so much money on decorations that he had thrown away the receipts without looking at them. This year, he had sworn to himself, this year Christmas would be perfect.
But since when did anything ever turn out perfect?
Ludwig sighed and rubbed his forehead, before he stood up and walked over to start cleaning up his mess. Taking out his frustration and disappointment on material things gave a momentarily relief and satisfaction, but it didn't change a thing.
His friends had called the same morning, saying that there had been some change of plans and that they couldn't make it. Which, in their case, meant that they had found a funnier place to spend Christmas at and wanted to spare Ludwig's feelings as much as they could.
Ludwig could be fun. He could be so goddamn fun and it was their loss that they'd never find out about it.
He aimed a kick at the radio, cursing loudly when the impact hurt his toes. He ought to just go home and stuff his face with food and drink beer until he passed out on the couch and then finally this day could be over. It might be a pathetic and awful idea, but at least it was better than staying at the office and dwelling in self pity.
.
Breathing in the fresh, chilly air outside was refreshing and after a few minutes of brisk walking, Ludwig felt slightly better about his life. If he simply went on and ignored the problem, maybe it would go away eventually. Except it never did and he knew that, but sometimes pretending was the best solution.
It was a good while past five and, unsurprisingly, not many people were out. The shops were all closed and what other place would you spend Christmas at than with your friends and family? He could always make a call to his father, now that he thought of it, but the two of them weren't especially close and it would somehow feel like admitting defeat to call him. Ludwig didn't want to be that desperate just yet. Maybe later, when he was fuzzy from beer and craved any sort of human interaction so badly that even a phone call would do.
.
Ludwig rounded the corner to the coffee shop where he had spent at least fifteen minutes of his life this morning and was surprised to see the homeless man still sitting in his usual spot. Sure, he had no place to live, but surely even he must have a better place to spend Christmas?
Smoothly fishing up his wallet as he approached the man, Ludwig opened it and grabbed a bunch of cash from it. He tugged it down in the paper cup, offering a smile, but the man didn't react. In fact, Ludwig noticed after a moment's inspection, he seemed to be sleeping.
Ludwig softly nudged him, not wanting him to fall asleep in the street. God knew what could happen to him then.
"Hmm?" The man stirred awake, taking a deep breath and causing a coughing fit. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and it took him a second to focus his gaze on Ludwig. "Oh, hey there..."
"Are you alright?" Ludwig said, hoping his worry wasn't completely obvious in his voice.
"Ah, yeah, I'm just fine. Must've dozed off for a while there."
Ludwig nodded and looked down at the cup, taking it and giving it to the man.
"Merry Christmas", he said and stood up, the warm, fuzzy feeling presenting itself in his stomach as the man's face slowly cracked into a wide, disbelieving grin.
"Dude, thank you! Wow, this is- this is awesome, thank you!"
"Don't worry about it. You probably need it more than I do."
Ludwig was sure the man said something else, but he had already hurried along. Seeing him always made him happy, but right now all it did was to remind him of how lonely he was. By this time, if everything had gone as planned, he'd be sitting at the table with his friends, eating good food, listening to jokes and anecdotes of things they had done in their younger years and simply having a good time together.
But no. Not ever did things turn out as he wanted them to. He was to spend Christmas all alone and really, what different was he from the homeless man on the street? Both alone, forgotten and doomed to be alone on the holiday.
One and a half block away, Ludwig came to an abrupt halt.
He was to spend Christmas alone. But did he really have to?
A fraction of a seconds hesitation, then he turned and rushed back. The man was leaving, walking on legs stiff from sitting down on the cold ground too long.
"Hey", Ludwig called after him. "Wait!"
The man looked around, surprise written all across his face when he saw Ludwig.
"What's up?" he said, arching a brow. In the warm light of the street lamps, he looked more human and less ghost, with his arms wrapped tightly around his body to keep himself from shaking in the cold.
"Comehomewithme."
"Excuse me?"
"I mean-" Ludwig looked away, flustered. "My friends sort of stood me up and now I have an abundance of food at home and I thought, well.. I thought it would be a waste if I had to eat it all alone so... Would you like to share it with me?"
For a moment, that probably felt longer than it was, the man stared at him wordlessly. Then he burst out laughing.
He must've noticed the worried look on Ludwig's face though, because he soon stopped and nodded.
"I'd love that. Gosh, I'd love that a lot."
"Really? You don't think it's strange or anything? We barely know each other and uh, we don't... we haven't really-"
"Please, Ludwig, you've never come across to me as anything but strange"; the man said, cutting Ludwig's stuttering short.
"But I'm-" Ludwig paused, furrowing his brows. "How do you know my name?"
The man snickered and reached out a pale hand to tap at the name tag fastened to Ludwig's suit jacket. Ludwig looked down and felt utterly stupid. He was so used to the name tag that he sometimes forgot he wore it and more often than not he forgot to remove it.
"Oh... Of course."
"I'm Gilbert, fyi. Pleasure to meet you", the man said and grabbed Ludwig's hand, shaking it firmly.
A smile grew on Ludwig's lips and despite it being only a name, he felt like he had been given the best gift ever.
"Pleasure to meet you too", he said, clasping the hand in his, all embarrassment and bad feeling from earlier washed away.
"Now that's out of the way, how about you take me to your place and let me relieve you of the burden of all that food?"
"That is an excellent idea", Ludwig said. "This way." He was feeling lighter than ever before. Maybe it had been fate, maybe it had been a stroke of luck, but either way Ludwig had to admit he was glad his friends had cancelled.
More than anything, he wanted Gilbert's company for Christmas.