Okay, first of all, this is linked to me and Chris Gammon's Otherworld series, the first of which you can read in this category (Courage's Adventures in Wonderlands). Second, this will involve many cartoons, but the main ones here are Caribou Kitchen, Avenger Penguins, Dora the Explorer and the Dreamstone. Some of these are pretty obscure, but hopefully you can understand this story without having watched them first.

Oh, hello. I see you decided to drop in. Come for a little visit, have you? If you knew you were coming...I'd have buggered off so you couldn't find me.

I know why you've come. Come to hear my history, haven't you? Maybe it's to feel better about your own life. Maybe it's because you're a sadist. I can tell you're a sadist. You just seem to have that vibe about you.

I suppose I should be flattered that you want to know more about me, but I bet you'll be bored within ten minutes of it. I know what you people are like. You'll glance over my story for a bit, leave it then forget about it completely when watching a Youtube video about funny cats or something like that.

No, you don't forget. Maybe nostalgia was what led you here. Me and my buddies are nostalgia. We're part of your childhood. After school, you rushed home, switched on the telly and watched us while bouncing up and down grinning. Kids are like that. Ah, there were so many kids at the Caribou Kitchen...you remember that show, don't you?

Part of me hopes you don't.

Oh, enough of my jabbering, you came here for my story, that's what you'll get. Actually, you'll get quite a few stories, concerning my many adventures. Enjoy, or not.

Old Friends

As Claudia pulled the cigarette from her muzzle, her ears caught the sound of sirens. This sound used to unnerve her, being a reminder of the state things were in and a possible fate, but now, as they were coupled with the splatter of raindrops, they seemed an oddly beautiful melody to highlight her recent love-making. She had just fucked, and fucking was the most beautiful thing in the world. The creation of life in times when it tended to end so quickly. The fact she had done it with someone she barely knew did nothing to diminish it. Though she just did it with him because he bought her a drink, which was more than most would have done for her, and because it was her birthday.

"Well," said the furry creature in her bed, putting on his boxers, "Happy Birthday."

"Yes," said Claudia, "I'll give you a six out of ten. You did what you were supposed to do, and helped me forget my headache."

Slipping his trousers over his legs, he turned to her with a smile. "Well, see ya later."

"Wait," said Claudia, still in her nightie.

"What?"

"Well, the night is still young. Why don't you stay a while? I mean, we did just have sex..."

"I didn't know you wanted more than that."

"Well.." Claudia looked in the direction of a stack of charity shop VHSs. "How about a movie?"

"Got enough at home."

"Well...oh, go on. Go do what you want." So, after getting dressed again, the guy left, and perhaps it was a good thing. The fucking was alright, but Claudia had to admit his voice was pretty grating to listen to. Still, she really had to do someone on her birthday, and if it wasn't him, who would it be? Marlon? It would be impossible. Larry? Hell no. Abe? He wouldn't want to. A human? God, no. And not just because it'd be illegal. That guy, even if his name did escape her at the moment, he was probably the best choice.

As she sat at the foot of her bed, she thought back to earlier that day. When she, trying to get into the birthday spirit, jaunted on down to her favourite haunt. After enduring the variety of odours and the drive-by mockings, she reached the spot: a pub that went by no real name, and yet, despite being shadowed by some sinister towers, seemed distinguished. This pub was intended for her kind only, fellow anthropomorphic creatures. A haven from humanity. There was something about humans that Claudia couldn't stand, they seemed so inferior, and unnecessary.

In she had gone, while Marlon, the mixologist penguin, was telling his stories again, and the barflies were all listening eagerly. "So me and the boys were still in Doom's lair," Claudia heard Marlon say in his American accent, "and it seemed like there was no way out, but thanks to my quick thinking..." Quick thinking. That phrase there was proof what he was saying was bullshit. The barflies probably knew it was bullshit too, and that's what gave it its appeal. For once, Claudia felt she was among equals.

"Hi, Marlon," said Claudia coming in, breaking the penguin out of his fantasy.

"Oh, hey," said Marlon, in a friendly voice despite looking a trifle ticked at being interrupted, "It's your birthday today, isn't it?" Claudia nodded. "Here, have one on the house." With that, Marlon poured Claudia a pint of her favourite lager and handed it in her direction. Seeing the drink waiting before her, Claudia sensed a smidgen of disappointment, as she swore she had more extravagant birthdays, but a free anything is good enough. She drank it slowly, just to savour it, to make it more of a 'birthday beer'. This mindset just brought more disappointment, as the slight amount being spilled almost felt like losing quantities of precious fuel. The reason the beers were being spilled? Larry giving her the beats.

"1...2...3..."

"Oh, cut it out, you don't even know how old I am."

Larry put his finger on his chin. "You're right, I don't."

"Then give me the birthday present of buggering off, please."

"Aw, you shouldn't be sad on your birthday."

"On my birthday, I can do what I bloody well feel like. If I want to be sad, I can be sad."

"Can't argue with that logic."

"True."

So Larry did leave Claudia, his tiny doggy mind distracted by something else. That Larry. While he resembled an anthropomorphic sausage dog, he was clearly a human, with all the traits humans usually had. He had that sense of false grandeur humans usually had to compensate for their lack of real abilities, not to mention the fact he was a just plain nitwit, just there to make the patrons feel better about themselves.

Claudia walked away towards a table in a corner, just to be by herself. Like she said, she could do what she felt like, and drinking her special beer by herself was what she felt like doing. Who needed stimulating conversations or wild stories when you had your own thoughts? Instead of listening to Marlon's story, she would imagine her own ending. Maybe 'Doom' would drink a formula that would give him super powers and Marlon'd have to fight that? No, too much.

Guzzling the last of her birthday beer, Claudia noticed the guy sitting beside her, which was a tiny surprise. People didn't really bother to bother her, as it was probably too much bother. Though what really dragged her from her private thoughts was the question the guy asked her:

"Hey, didn't you own some sort of caff once?"

The answer was yes, yes she did. The Caribou Kitchen. She was surprised someone still remembered it.

"Yeah."

"Whatever happened to that?"

Claudia turned silent, her response being to finish her drink.

"Well."

"Oh, you know, it started out good, bigger and better restaurants were built, everybody stopped giving a shit, went out of business." Taking a deep breath, she played with her glass for a while, then stared at the guy again. "Last I heard they were going to make it into a charity shop, but they never got round to it."

"Yeah, people're like that, what ya gonna do?"

"I really liked running that place...well, it did get a bit hectic at times."

"I think my brother went there once. He said the food was good."

"Ah, thanks, I suppose." Another fiddle with her empty glass before changing the subject. "It's my birthday."

"Oh, happy birthday. Mind if I buy you a drink?"

"Knock yourself out."

So next thing Claudia knew, they were buying each other drinks, and though they weren't really drunk, they went back to Claudia's flat to fuck and fuck and fuck. She couldn't remember half of their conversation, she couldn't remember his name, yet they still fucked. Then he left. Considering the stench he left behind, that was probably a good thing.

Yet she still remembered him bringing up the Caribou Kitchen. That one element in the conversation rang through her head. Why? Maybe because this had been the first time in years that the place had been mentioned by someone other than her and Abe, and at times, Claudia had the thought that her memories of it were delusions and Abe was just playing along. Its existence confirmed, she couldn't help but think back to it.

Memories of that place were pretty much a mixed bag. While at times, she found herself trying to crawl away from the past, sometimes the past was all she had. The Caribou Kitchen, during its early days, was a reward. Obtaining it from her gains was a reassurance that gruelling work has its advantages. Running a restaurant had been a childhood fantasy, and how often do those come true? It wasn't too shabby a place either; not when Kevin the Chameleon was there to spruce it up.

Whatever happened to Kevin? Oh right, he went to jail after his wife discovered his 'secret stash'.

Aside from Kevin's occaisonal aid, Claudia had other helpers there too. She couldn't afford much in terms of staff, but those she had...they were the best staff she could ask for. Abe...Tom...Lisa...

That moment was probably the first time in years Claudia had ever thought of Lisa, and she even felt a little ashamed about it, but Lisa probably didn't think of her much either. Still, Claudia decided to have a long period of thinking about Lisa, to make up for so much time not thinking about her. So what could be said, or thought, about that lemur then? She had come to apply to the Caribou Kitchen during its early days, mainly to help pay off her student loans, and since only she and Tom had applied, they were the waiters. In retrospect, Claudia should have seen that as something of an omen, but the place still managed with just the two of them. Tom was a nice old chap, but Lisa always brought a bright energy to the surroundings. Her orders were quick and easy, and she always helped to maintain the optimistic atmosphere the patrons so adored.

Then she left.

She left shortly before Tom...left. Wanted something more fulfilling. After that, Claudia never really saw Lisa again. Or did she? The present Claudia rummaged within the crevices of her recollections and did find one time she had seen Lisa; when Lisa was getting married and Claudia was invited to the wedding. It was about the time she had first moved in to this apartment...

In an instant, Claudia found herself back in the present, with the whiffs of bubbling pots eroding into the reek of secrete. Once again the patches on the walls lay before her eyes and the rain splattering against the window almost deafened her. She hated the sound of the rain, and the stench of her bedroom, so she tried to return to the past, by thinking about the church. Yes, the church where she last saw Lisa. The tall stone walls, the sunlight illuminating the saints in the windows. How beautiful. How oppressive.

Something about being in that church made Claudia feel so out of place, or maybe it was the church that was out of place, who knows? It was just odd being in a pew, watching Lisa, now all dolled up like a Disney princess, standing before an altar next to someone Claudia knew nothing about. This being after she was hard up for money, it was hard to smile, but she forced one. She probably wouldn't forgive herself if she wasn't happy on the happiest day of her friend's life.

After the 'I do's' and during the reception, Claudia stared at Lisa and...and...what the hell was his name again? Oh, it'll come back. Anyway, Claudia stared at Lisa and felt like she should talk to her, but something held her back, so she just stood there by the refreshments, watching the happy couple. She remembered being disturbed by the groom...his name was Lyle, wasn't it? Yes, that's it. Anyway, Claudia couldn't help but think he looked like he was Lisa's brother, and maybe that's what was keeping her away.

That was the last time Claudia had seen Lisa. Slowly leaving the mighty church to rejoin the small, filthy flat, Claudia began to wonder if she should try to find Lisa and pay her a visit. She had paid Abe several visits and even given Tom a few, but never visited Lisa. Though it was probably just as well, Claudia and the Caribou Kitchen were a part of Lisa's life she had moved on from. Still, it would be nice to give her a visit. A little birthday treat Claudia would give herself. Or would Lisa not like that?

Decisions, decisions. Dwelling on things like that would keep her up all night, but that was a good thing. She had had some weird dreams as of recently, and didn't really want to revisit them. There was still some energy in her too, so she looked for further ways to kill the time, and thus turned towards her VHSs. A little entertainment, that she would like to share with someone, but would be content enjoying on her own. A nice little comedy to lighten her spirits and to help her laugh at the world. Father Ted. That Father Jack is a hoot. So the VHS was plopped into the TV and all Claudia had to do was sit back and enjoy what lay before her.

She should visit Abe and Lisa and they should have a nice day out. That thought just suddenly appeared. While putting thoughts of those two aside for thoughts of Ted and Dougal, she suddenly thought they should go out. Probably had something to do with what was on screen though; watching Dougal visit that slipshod funfair likely set her off thinking about days out.

A day out. This Sunday. That'd be nice. She'd let Abe and Lisa choose where. That'll be nice of her.

When was the last time she was nice?

Abe the anteater woke up earlier than he did on Sundays, all because he needed to take a leak. Probably had a bit too much to drink last night...poor choice of words there. Drunk a bit too much water. That's it. While he had been looking forward to a Sunday lie in, he thought that since he was up and about now, he might as well stay up and about. After a quick shower and his breakfast ants, he went to his study to finish off some paperwork. It was dull and frustrating, but there were worse ways to kill the time. Plus, he strangely felt a bit more alert during the early hours then he would have if he had lied in. This alertness didn't really help him much with the paperwork, as he still felt his mind wander as it usually did, and it wandered to places he didn't want to go to.

After just thirty minutes of the scribbling, his body pried itself from the chair and Abe began a series of random acts; wandering about the place, drinking glasses of water, and just intervals of sitting down and thinking, each of the activities weighed down by a sense of slight guilt at his laziness. Back he went to the paperwork then, and an hour into it, he heard the doorbell. He went downstairs to answer it, feeling a tingle of relief.

None other than Claudia stood at the door, scratching her left ankle with her right foot. She was just the same as she always was when she came to visit, with the shades under her eyeballs, the dull trenchcoat, the alcohol on her breath and the way she complimented the grey, wet noon outside. Seeing and smelling her, Abe breathed through his mouth, as he didn't really like thinking of booze or anything related to it.

"Hello, Claudia! Happy birthday!" With that, Abe ran to another room and came back with a card and gift voucher. "I thought you'd come."

"Thanks," said Claudia, placing the card in her pocket.

"And before you ask, yes, you can use my computer."

"Thanks," said Claudia in the exact same way as before, except this time, she shook Abe's hand as she did so. Both strolled into the study, with Claudia hijacking Abe's computer to look for videos and assorted items of interest.

"So, have you ever tried a cyber cafe at all?"

"Once. I really just went just to see if anyone was looking at porn. No such luck."

"You like dirty jokes, don't you?"

"You can talk," said Claudia, gesturing towards the screen. Abe took a look and saw his Youtube profile, and Claudia pointed towards a 'Snooping as Usual' video in his favorites.

"Yes, I find that amusing."

"So do I. Fact, I find that whole show amusing. It's a reflection of our world, really; a nonsensical load of confusion, which includes being screwed by some fat dictator and his brainless followers."

"I don't really think you know what you're talking about sometimes."

"Well, neither do the guys at the pub. Maybe I have more in common with them than I thought."

"I wish you wouldn't go there so often."

"Tough."

"It's just..."

"Oh, shut up about that. You were a student, all students are idiots. I don't want any depressing anecdotes today, I want to have a fun day out with my best friends."

"Where were you thinking of going?"

"I was going to let you and Lisa choose. Oh yeah, do you know where she lives?"

"Yes, I do. We have a chat now and again."

"Has she told you any interesting tidbits? Like anything about her and Lyle's nightly activities?"

Abe rolled his eyes. "Yes, she told about 'nightly activities'. They like to play Scrabble."

"Killjoy."

So after more conversation, the two decided to give Lisa a surprise visit, and went towards Abe's car. Entering the vehicle, combined with the alcohol still present on Claudia's breath, cast Abe's mind back to that 'incident' back in university. 'Thank God no-one was killed,' he told himself repeatedly in his mind.

"You're not punching yourself in the balls again, are you?"

"No, no. I'm sober."

"Yes."

After a quick and dreamless sleep, Lisa blinked her eyes open and turned towards the clock by her side of the bed. Eleven am. Good. It was good to take it slow on Sundays. Besides her, Lyle still slept, snoring hoarsely. Good. He could use some rest. She let him slumber while she freshened up, savouring it more than she would any other day of the week. While she could still hear her dear hubby snore as she went about her routine, she knew he'd wake up eventually, and went to prepare breakfast for the both of them. Croissants. That's it. Maybe lunch as well since it's almost noon. Cress sandwiches always improve his mood.

Sure enough, the beast emerged from his cavern just as she had finished the breakfast and lunch, and the two lemurs gave each other a 'Good morning' before a good old munch. After that, Lyle had a mope about his situation, and, as worried as she was, Lisa had to say that everything was going to be OK before handing him the paper. She was almost certain looking through that paper wouldn't solve anything, she didn't tell him that. Instead, she decided to get some cleaning done, though she didn't really know why.

Just as she was about to flick the switch on her vacuum cleaner, she heard the doorbell, and the phrase 'Saved by the bell' entered her brain briefly. After looking at her husband browsing for a while, she walked to the front door, and, when she saw who stood there, felt a sudden surge of energy. Here stood Claudia and Abe, two of her coworkers from the Caribou Kitchen, the place where she really found her footing. Working there made her what she was right now; she remembered a time when she kept to herself, rarely going out or talking to anyone, but taking a job at that place helped her become more confident. Plus, the first time she met Lyle, he was a customer there, who she saw again at the bar she went to after work.

"Oh! Claudia! Abe! What-are-you-doing-here?" Turning around, she took a better look at Claudia, the latter forcing a smile. "You-look-a-wreck."

"Didn't get a good night's sleep."

"Lie-on-the-couch-for-a-bit."

"I said I didn't get a good night's sleep, I didn't say I wanted one."

Abe chuckled before turning to Lisa. "It's Claudia's birthday..."

"Oh-happy-birthday-I-forgot!"

"Yes, anyway, she just wanted to pay her old friends a visit!"

Claudia nodded. "That's right. I mean, I haven't spoken to you in yoinks."

"I-know. Would-you-like-some-tea?" So the three began the age-old tradition of sitting around while warbling about their past no matter how much or little they really wanted to share it. "Well-even-though-I-invited-you-to-the-wedding-Claudia-I-guess-you-don't-really-know-about-me-and-Lyle-let-me-tell-you..."

"Would you mind going a little slower, please?" said Claudia, burying her head in her hand.

Seeing her old employer show such disapproval caused Lisa to create a minute of silence before continuing to talk about her life in a nutshell; how she met Lyle, their first date, how she got her new job, how she got the new house, Lyle and her getting married, and how Lyle recently lost his job.

"Shame about Lyle losing his job like that," said Abe, sipping down his coffee.

"Least-I-still-got-mine."

"Yeah," said Claudia, "but that's gonna make your job even worse, knowing you're the sole provider for your family, and fucking up at your job could mean your family being fucked over. Hey, are you and Lyle planning on having kids?"

"Not really."

Claudia looked at Lyle for a moment and shuddered. "Here's a hint: don't."

"You lost your job a week ago, didn't you, Claudia?"

"Yeah, but good riddance to it. I can't even remember what it was. But forgetting it isn't going to pay for the rent."

"True. But quite a few people are going jobless nowadays, especially animals like us," said Abe, looking down at his feet, "I'm lucky to still have my job. The office has been letting people go a bit."

"I-guess-we'll-have-to-budget-a-bit."

"Yeah," said Abe, "Maybe you should budget a bit too. You can start by going easy on the drinking." Claudia gave a hoarse chuckle.

"Nothing-wrong-with-a-bit-of-beer-now-and-then."

Abe looked around the room aimlessly. "I suppose."

"And," said Claudia, "It is good to have a place to get away from humanity for a while." Now Abe had begun to fidget all the more. "A bunch of twats them humans are."

"Well..." said Abe, wringing his hands, "Animals can be twats too."

"But the majority of twats are human, I find. Would you agree, Lisa?"

"Anyway," said Abe, "Claudia suggested that we go for a day out, and she said me and you could choose. Nothing too expensive, considering we have to budget..."

"Oh, never mind budgeting. I'll be bankrupt soon anyway, so I might as well put whatever money I have to good use."

"Always the cheerful one. Anyway, anything good on at the pictures?"

"Nothing-I-can-think-of."

"Well, erm..."

"Oh, you two are so boring."

"Maybe you could suggest something then, Claudia?"

"I know!" Claudia grinned, revealing her yellow teeth. "Since we're all good friends, let's have an orgy!" She laughed, but Lisa just gave an embarassed glance and Abe buried his head in his hands. "Oh, come on! How do you expect me not to think about sex? Hell, just about every guy I've met smells like..."

"Claudia," Abe moaned like he was her mother.

Watching the two argue, Lisa began twiddling as much as Abe did. While she did want Claudia here, having not spoken to her in years, she also felt an urge to shove her out. Maybe it was the smell. Suddenly, she noticed she hadn't said anything in a while, and tried to think of something. "How-about-just-a-walk-then?"

Abe quickly glanced outside the window, looking at the grey sky. "Not exactly good weather for a walk, is it?"

"I-don't-mind-rain," said Lisa.

"No, I'm with Lisa," said Claudia, "I could use some fresh air."

"I guess I could too," said Abe, "I've had a lot on my mind, and I need to clear my head."

Just then, Lyle appeared. "Hey-Lyle," said Lisa, "Want-to-come-with-us?"

"No-thanks," said Lyle, "Not-really-in-the-mood." Oh, poor thing. Still, Lisa was sure he'd be okay by himself, and gave him a little peck on the cheek, only to turn around and see Abe and Claudia with odd expressions on their faces.

The next thing Claudia knew, she found herself going for a stroll in the woods with Abe and Lisa, the latter two wearing zipped-up jackets in case it rained. She was with two of her best friends, who she had known for years and could talk about things to, and yet she still had a sense of uncomfortableness. Perhaps it was the way none of them were talking, and the forest was unusually silent, without a sign of birds or wildlife.

"So, Abe," said Claudia, wanting to break a disquieting silence, "Do you talk to anyone else...from the Caribou Kitchen days?"

"I sometimes talk to Betty Beaver," said Abe, resting by a tree darkened by rain water, "All she normally talks about is what trouble her boys are getting into."

"Huh," was Claudia's response.

"I don't talk to her much, because, well, I feel quite uncomfortable about anything that has to do with the law..."

"Unless it also has to do with Batman." Both Claudia and Abe smiled.

"You-know-speaking-of..." Lisa took a deep breath as she attempted to slow down. "Speaking of the Caribou Kitchen, I think I owe you guys."

"Great. Can you pay my rent?"

"Seriously-though...I...think helping out in the Caribou Kitchen helped me find my footing, so it's great-to-see-you-guys-again."

"Can't go five minutes...anyway, let's stop talking about that place. Let's just enjoy the scenery." Claudia pulled out a cigarette and a lighter from her pocket, and smoked it as she sat on a tree stump, and tried to do as she said. The scenery was marginally better than in the city, moslty because it was bland as opposed to just plain hideous.

"Well," said Abe, fidgetting again, "Wasn't the whole point of this excursion to help us reminisce?"

Claudia didn't answer, but instead turned her attention towards a squirrel scurrying down a tree, then muttering something to itself. "You know what?" said Claudia as the squirrel exited from her sight. "Do you ever regret your species at all?"

Abe turned towards the direction of the squirrel. "So...you want to be a squirrel?"

"No, I mean...caribous, anteaters, lemurs...aren't exactly the most beloved of species."

"What do you mean? I...like being an anteater."

"But really? Who gives a shit about anteaters? Who gives a shit about caribou? Humans are 'the dominant species', cats can get away with murder, but nobody cares about caribou, no." She gave a slight pause. "At least I get these neat antlers."

"If you hate humans so much," said Abe, "why do you use their resources? Why don't you live here?"

"I don't hate humans, I just think they're annoying, like you can be at times."

"Hey!" said Lisa. "Don't-argue!"

"Sorry," was all Claudia said before the three friends walked for a few minutes in silence. Like Claudia suggested, they basically just enjoyed the scenery, listening to the sounds of less-evolved animals. Soon, they began to feel a little weary and sat on a bench for a few moments.

"Hey, Claudia," said Lisa, talking strangely slower, "You know we're doing this to help...remember?"

"Yeah, I suppose so."

"Well...not far from here is, well...Tom...and..."

"Oh fuck it," said Claudia, bowing down her head, "Fuck it, this was a bad idea. Mind if I go home now?"

"No, we don't mind," said Abe.

"OK then." Claudia began to slink away, then stood for a while. "I don't deserve friends like you." Then she left.

After the brief visit to Tom, Abe and Lisa thought that they might as well make use of being together, and go at least somewhere. That somewhere turned out to be none other than McDonalds, where Abe bought a coffee, and Lisa had a Fillet O' Fish with a large chocolate milkshake. "You-know," said Lisa, in between slurping down her shake, "I-applied-here-before-coming-to-the-Caribou-Kitchen..."

"I don't think we should talk about that place anymore," said Abe. "Well, this outing was pretty much a waste of time."

"Not-really. It's-always-good to hang out with you guys..."

"Maybe you should be getting back to Lyle. And I should be getting back to my paperwork, if I want to...you know..."

"Yeah." Another slurp of her shake. "We-haven't-talked-much recently."

"Well, I have been busy. The lay-offs have meant more work for me."

"I've-been-busy-too."

"I suppose you would have been. Being busy is good though, I get bored easily."

"So-do-I."

"Do you read comic books?"

"No. Stop-asking."

"Sorry, I sometimes repeat myself." Abe paused for a second. "Just that I was rereading Watchmen again; gets better with each reading. You always find new things...but I suppose you're not interested."

"Not-really....hey, when I left the Caribou Kitchen..."

"I said not..."

"Who-did-you-get-to...replace..."

"Oh." Abe began to fidget again. "The only one who applied for the job was this...dog. Her name was...Penny, I think."

"How-was-she?

"She was the only one who applied for the job."

"I-said-how-was-she?"

Abe choked out a laugh. "I remember she had her head in the clouds the whole time." Hearing this gave Lisa a chuckle before she finished off her burger.

"Well-better-be-going," said Lisa, "Have-a-nice-day."

"Yeah, that paperwork isn't going to do itself."

So Abe walked away from the McDonalds, placing his hood over his face due to a wind. Just before getting into his car, he took a look behind him and noticed Lisa zipping off. A sudden urge to follow her ignited for a second, but he entered his car anyway. There was still work to do.

There was always something to do.

The room Claudia lay in was sterile and dull, with its walls completely white, and with no furniture, but still, it was a relief. She knew this was yet another dream, and a dream about nothing was better than dreams about fucked-up crap. Although, dreams where you know they're dreams are still pretty odd. Lucid dreaming, she remembered them being called. Or something like that.

Feeling rather bored just lying about, Claudia sprung up from the floor and walked down the corridor until she came to the three-foot tall door. Entering through it, she found herself back in the Caribou Kitchen, exactly as she remembered it from years ago. The bright yellow walls, the tables, even the giant grinning teapot standing in the corner.

"Oh, come on! My life doesn't revolve around this place, you know." Just looking around made her feel sick.

"Don't be so grumpy!" said Claudia II, who walked out from the left wall. Looking just like Claudia when she was younger, only with a grin that literally stretched a mile, Claudia II always liked to make everything seem as happy as possible. Happy for her anyway. For Claudia, the original, it was either creepy or annoying, usually the latter. "Come, have a seat."

"Fuck off," Claudia closed her eyes. "You're not scaring me." Upon opening her eyes, Claudia was at the table with Claudia II, with tea being poured to them by the grinning teapot.

"Thank you, Uncle Teapot. Now, Claudia, you seem a little upset. Why don't you tell me all about it?"

Claudia just turned her seat backwards and chose to ignore Claudia II. The grinning bitch just wanted attention, and it was best not to give it.

"Come on, talk about it!"

Claudia stayed silent, rolling her eyes, expecting to wake up soon.

Claudia II stayed silent too. For the first time since this dream started, Claudia shuddered. Holding herself, she turned around and saw that the other caribou had disappeared. Uncle Teapot remained, and so did his grin. The teapot stared for a few seconds before Claudia slugged it right in the face, causing it to shatter. The grin still remained.

"I see you're not having a good time." The familiar voice. "May I enquire as to why that is?" In an instant, Claudia stared into the blank eyes of Zordrak. Her mind registered every detail about him immediately, yet she couldn't tell whether or not they had met before. "You fancy yourself fearless, don't you?" A smile lit his crocodile face. "I don't like people like that."

"You do know how pretentious you sound?" Claudia swallowed.

"I could say the same for you." Zordrak rubbed his squirming chin. "I know you're terrified. I'm powerful enough to know." A scream of pain escaped Zordrak's gullet as his right arm bubbled like water in a kettle.

"I'm not stupid. I know half-baked psychological shit when I see it. You're conjuring up some Freudian crap because you get hard from people being scared of you."

Another howl from Zordrak, who began to tower more over the caribou. Claudia's stomach twisted as she saw more of Zordrak's body, with his left arm reduced to a skeleton and his torso reminding her of two-week-old milk. "So you're not afraid?"

Claudia said nothing.

Zordrak laughed, and the world seemed to shake as he did so. "What about your friends?" Claudia cocked an eyebrow. "Yes. Your friends are experiencing nightmares themselves, and bringing me much joy. The anteater, the penguin, the lemur...all of them. They're not as stubborn as you are, I can still hear their screams." Claudia stood silent again.

"Listen closely." Zordrak stood still. "Ah. Don't you ever feel like screaming?"

Something made Claudia answer. "Sometimes."

"How about you see some of your friends' nightmares? Maybe you could try and rescue them?"

"Won't they...wake up?"

"Yes, they'll wake up. But every time they go back to sleep, they'll face my nightmares again and again, and as time goes by, they'll get worse and worse."

"I think they know the difference between dreams and reality."

Another roar, this one being the loudest. "You're saying my nightmares aren't real?" Crouching down, his face met Claudia's again. "I daresay they're far more real than you are." He licked his lips, his elastic tongue almost covering his head. "You might be yet another creation of the Dreammaker, sent to irritate me." His jaws opened.

"I know what I can do about that."

With that, Claudia's eyes snapped open, and suddenly, her apartment felt secure.

Another dream. Another Zordrak dream. More of the same.