READ IF YOU DARE!
DireSitutions Presents
HUMOR OF THE HEART
(Her first fan fiction)
From boys growing curls to deranged psychotic cows, this mock Twilight fan fiction, will hopefully make you laugh.
This story isn't for those people who want to see a serious romance between Bella & Edward.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight! I wish I did though, that would be amazing.
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Chapter One:
It all begins today
Bella's POV
"Bella, wake up…" He whispered, running a cool finger down my cheek.
Smiling blissfully I nudged closer to his body, ignoring any notion to wake up. I was perfectly content staying here with him in my room.
"Bella, you'll be late for school if you don't wake up." My toes curled in pleasure as he kissed my jaw tenderly.
"Can I stay here just a little bit longer?" I asked him, burying my face into his cold chest. I was utterly and irreversibly happy; I could carelessly skip the entire day, if it meant I could stay here with him.
"Yes, you can stay, Bella." A friendly yet husky voice answered me. "Right Edward, she can stay right?" The voice asked.
"I don't know, Jacob. Bella should go to school. It might give us some privacy?" Edward asked. I couldn't believe this, why would they want privacy TOGETHER?
My mind had reached its climax of confusion, I could desperately try grasping the most realistic answer, but I knew it was in vain. There was absolutely no way I could reason with myself because there was no reality in this situation.
"You know how long it's been since we've been together," Edward quietly remarked, "and that night when you came to visit me…" Edward twisted a finger around a golden lock of hair. Wait, a golden lock of hair?
I stared at Edward mortified. "E-E-E-E-Edward?" I stuttered, reaching out to touch his hair.
"Elena…" Jacob gasped, making me turn around to him. "Elena, I must have your golden curls!"
Why was Edward transforming into a girl?
Why did Jacob want his curls?
What is going on!?
I clutched my head in confusion; this was all too much to take. Nothing made sense, where had the reality gone?!
I flung myself up, scrambling to get away from the Edward and Jacob. They seemed so oblivious to my existence now; they hadn't even noticed I wasn't in between them anymore.
"Elena…" Jacob whispered, slowly closing his eyes.
"Jacob…" Edward, or Elena, leaned into Jacob, puckering his lips like a bloated fish.
"I defiantly can't watch this," I moaned, throwing myself off the bed. Maybe if I hit the ground really hard, I would wake up from this deranged universe.
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That's the end of the first chapter!
I hope you enjoyed...even if there are a catastrophic amount of spelling mistakes.
Chapter Two: "Why is Emmett dressed as a rabbit?"
Bella In Wonderland