PsykoReaper: Oh, god, I need a vacation...
Dark Angel: Don't worry; death is the greatest vacation...
PsykoReaper: Yeah? Well, it's a vacation that will get boring unless their are no Houri...
Dark Angel: Houri?
PsykoReaper: Muslims believe that they will have sex with these hot chicks called Houris and it is suppose to be AWESOME!
Dark Angel: Oh, well, anyway, we like WarCraft, as you have seen in our Ben 10 fanfic, well; we have decided to make a kickass fanfic, with death and carnage and a few hot parts...
PsykoReaper: Like Conan the Barbarian!
Dark Angel: Yes, like that movie starred by your favorite actor except in one movie...Jingle All The Way?
PsykoReaper: Fuck you, that movie is a holiday masterpiece, it was Batman and Robin!
Dark Angel: Whatever, this is based after the BC but before WotLK, but we will be adding our own elements, cause this is pretty much an alt universe, which is every fanfic, am I right or am I right?
PsykoReaper: SHUT UP, LET IT BEGIN!!!
Dark Angel: Alright, alright, START THE THEATRE!
In the barren wasteland of Desolace, on a high cliff, an eight-foot tall hooded figure stood. He wore a brown cloak, hiding his feet, metal gauntlets with what seems to be claws at the end of them, and his face hidden in shadows in a ripped opening of the cloak, with one side hidden. He held out his hand and a bat flew toward him and perched on his finger.
"Hmmmmmm, he seems a little late," said the figure, in a European accent.
He then sensed someone behind him, he looked to see an undead rogue, wearing black leather armor and a black hood with a black mouth covering, with two purple knives strapped to his belt.
"Hello, Ven'Gyr," hissed the rogue.
The figure turned around and in a speed of shadow, large bat-like wings appeared on his back, a single horn from his head appearing with the other seemingly gone, and his face revealed, a pale face with his eyes seemingly covered in shadow with a small purple orb in the eyeholes and his mouth looked like it was once stitched together, for a Nathrezim, he was strangely thin.
"Yes, Corbeth Bloodborn?" asked Ven'Gyr.
"I have not found the old source, and you may as well now, Ven'Gyr, that the new one is untouchable," hissed Corbeth.
"Then you will have to try...harder, anyway, call me 'master', it will please me," said Ven'Gyr.
"Not trying to displease you, dreadlord, but I don't call anyone, master," hissed Corbeth.
Ven'Gyr sighed. "I guess that is the case, all the others call me master, you don't want to seem...like an outcast among my other followers, but I'll keep you around, unlike that stupid goblin, I have great use for you, but I do have a question...did you find my book?" asked Ven'Gyr.
"Yes, but their is a problem, it is...being held by a lich in the Western Plaguelands, in a base held by the Scourge," hissed Corbeth.
"Hmmmm, the Scourge, a foolish army gone awkward, much like any Azerothian army, what is the lich's name?" asked Ven'Gyr.
"Crakeron the Ice-Heart, serves under a High Elf Death Knight named Lady Comirin Deadbane," hissed Corbeth.
"How nice, they finally have a female Death Knight, I guess that they are not as close-minded as the Jungle Trolls of old," cooed Ven'Gyr.
"If you are done reminiscing to your 'glory days', I suggest you come up with a way to get your little book, cause I wish to get my reward," growled Corbeth.
"Patience, my impatient assassin, all will be revealed in time, I am not like other dreadlords, I see...a bigger picture," said Ven'Gyr.
"Is that why you defected yourself from the Burning Legion?" asked Corbeth.
"I never defected, only put myself in my own rank, unlike many dreadlords, I thrill in the action, feeling the blood on my face, now, to deal with that...Demon Hunter," said Ven'Gyr, showing discontent in the "Demon Hunter" part.
"He is certainly powerful, dreadlord, you shouldn't have angered him so," hissed Corbeth.
"True, but he won't last for very longer, I am ready for the worst," said Ven'Gyr, looking out at the sky.
In the Westfall kingdom, in the post of Sentinel Hill, was a fifteen-year old human male named Soril Greyhelm, he had black hair, pale skin, blue eyes, and thin meat, like thin-sliced ham, on his bones, an orc could easily beat him by flicking a finger at him. He wore a grey sleeveless shirt, black cloth pants, black boots, brown leather bracelets, a stone medallion which holds precious value to Soril, and an old claymore given to him by his crazed grandfather.
He patrolled the area around the base, hoping that a member of the Defias Brotherhood or a Gnoll Berserker or a small Murloc would not appear, for fear was in his heart, and he only joined to impress his father, who was a Marshal of the Alliance Army.
He then heard a rustling in a nearby bush.
"Who's there!" demanded Soril, trying to be tough. He then heard something hiss at him. He drew his sword as sweat dropped from his chin.
"I am a soldier of the Alliance, and I have a weapon, so if you do not want to be hurt-" before he could finish, an arrow shot past his ear.
He screamed as he fell to the ground, three more arrows shot at him. He closed his eyes as the arrows hit his torso; he looked to see that the arrows were not sharp, but were blunt with paint-glue on them.
"Thalaa!" groaned Soril.
He heard a giggle and a sixteen year-old Night Elf girl came out. She had long green hair with the back tied in a pony tail, purple skin, long ears, a fair body, and pale white eyes. She wore a green cloth shirt, with a green hood down, brown pants, brown sandals, brown gloves, a quiver of arrows strapped to her back, and a bow made out of white wood.
"Soril, you are such a woman!" laughed Thalaa.
"Shut up, Thalaa Bluemoon!" grumbled Soril.
"Soril, don't blame me if you are so easy to poke at," giggled Thalaa.
"Why aren't you like other Night Elves? Who are mean, tough, and never giggle," groaned Soril.
"Well, I am not like other Night Elves, aren't I?" asked Thalaa.
"Yeah, you are the runt of the litter," growled Soril as he got up.
"Don't get uptight with me, wandering eyes!" teased Thalaa.
"What!? What are you talking about?" asked Soril, with his cheeks red.
"I saw you peeping at Tarma Knighthelm while she was bathing at the river, they should have called you, 'Soril Fasthand!'" teased Thalaa, she then laughed.
"You saw a lie!" roared Soril.
"Calling me a liar? That is fighting words!" laughed Thalaa, she then grabbed a stick.
"Prepare to lose!" growled Soril, he dropped his sword and grabbed a stick.
"How about...for your necklace?" asked Thalaa.
"No, that is an important item to me!" yelled Soril.
"Calm down, woman, I'll just have to beat you till you know who's better!" laughed Thalaa.
They then saw an older man, in his late forties, wearing golden armor. They then stood straight in front of him and saluted.
"Corporal Thanos," they both said.
"I see you are not doing your duties, if you keep this up, I will give you double shifts for your childish nature!" barked Corporal Thanos.
"Sorry, sir," they said.
"Now, I need you to keep patrol in the city today, as a caravan of Goblin traders have appeared, and I want you to look out for some pickpockets, is that clear?" asked Corporal Thanos.
"Yes, sir!" they both shouted.
Meanwhile, in a makeshift camp near the borders of Westfall, laid a trio of Horde members.
One was a large brown male Tauren wearing a chainmail shirt, green cloth pants, grey bracers, and a large hammer.
One was an Undead Rogue with black hair and a cut around his chin wearing a black cloth shirt, black shorts, and a dagger strapped to his belt.
And the last was a male Jungle Troll with strange blonde lanky hair and less pronoun teeth, wearing a brown leather shirt, a brown hood, brown leather shorts, and a longbow made of steel.
The Tauren's name was Steesh Stonehoof, the Undead's was Misha Rathorne, and the Troll's was Nived Jujubreath.
"So, what do we do for money, Jujubreath?" asked Steesh, he then let out a laugh.
"Steesh, I swear to Shadra, I will slap you across da face and leave you for dead," threatened Nived.
"It is a funny surname," said Misha.
"Stay outta dis, Rathorne, and I wonder how you got dat name, have a kindred spirit wit da rats?" asked Nived.
"Leave Misha out of this!" yelled Steesh.
"Oh, come on, he ain't yo brother, for da last time," groaned Nived.
"I consider him my brother," said Steesh.
"Thank you, brother," thanked Misha.
"Do not mention it," laughed Steesh.
"Yeah, yo brother be a Forsaken that be fallin' apart," said Nived. "Hey, I ain't fallin' apart!" growled Misha, pointing his finger at Nived, it then fell off, he then grabbed it and put it back on his hand.
"See?" asked Nived.
"Alright, you crazed-up troll, what did you drag us all the way from Ogrimmar to Westfall for?" asked Misha.
"Well, I hear there be legends of a stone that give people strength of a magical source, no one know what it be," said Nived.
"And...why do we want this?" asked Steesh.
"By Shirvallah you be dumb, we get da stone, and we be respected membahs of da Horde, like we always wanted!" explained Nived.
"Yes!" yelled Steesh.
"Now, that is what I am talking about!" laughed Misha.
"So, what say you, boys?" asked Nived.
"Alright, I think this may be a good thing!" laughed Steesh.
"I agree!" exclaimed Misha.
"Now, let's go before dat Ogre try to smash us," said Nived. "Yeah!...Wait, huh?" asked both Misha and Steesh.
They then ran away as an Ogre ran after them, raving and throwing his arms around.
Soril and Thalaa watched as people bought things from the Goblin Merchants. "This is boring," groaned Thalaa.
"I don't know, I don't mind standing around," said Soril.
"That is because you are afraid of every moving creature and you don't have to fight anything," said Thalaa.
"Maybe, I can help," said a voice.
They looked to see a Goblin, wearing a purple cloth burka, a black shirt with long sleeves, and black pants and boots, along with a pair of fancy golden glasses.
"What do you mean, Goblin?" asked Soril.
"Well, somewhere in Westfall, near Dagger Hills, lays a cave, a cave where a gem that can give people great, great powers," said the goblin.
"I'm sorry, what was your name again?" asked Thalaa. "Oh my name be Huju...Huju Rustgear, my name Rustgear means I am a wise member of my race," he said.
"What is this...gem?" asked Thalaa.
"Well, it has a power of a magical source, unknown what, but surely, it is safe, or great corruption would be attacking Westfall, so it is not evil in any nature," said Huju.
"Thank you, but we have a mission to do," said Soril.
"Come on, woman, we need to go after this, you can finally receive some manhood," said Thalaa.
"Ok, Huju, is there any obstacles?" asked Soril.
"Argh!" groaned Thalaa, never hearing the end of Soril's whining.
"Well, no, actually, nothing is in there, it is unguarded," said Huju.
"Well, I am convinced!" laughed Soril.
"Alright, show us to this cave, goblin," ordered Thalaa.
"Very well, young ones, follow me," said Huju.
They climbed up the mountains and found themselves in front of the cave. "So, this is it?" asked Thalaa.
"Yes, yes, and if you bring it to me, I will unlock all it's powers, I am a mage, in trade, and unlike my fellow Goblins, I am not as greedy," said Huju.
"Very well, we will see you later," said Thalaa.
They both entered the cave, unguarded, they then heard arguing.
"I thought this place was unguarded?' asked Soril.
"Afraid you might wet yourself, Fasthand?" teased Thalaa.
"Quiet!" growled Soril, they hid behind a rock and saw the three Horde stooges.
"Horde members!" whispered Thalaa.
"This is not good," replied Soril.
They were in front of a pedestal with a floating yellow gem glowing in sunlight.
"That must be it," whispered Thalaa.
"But, what about those Horde members?" asked Soril.
"We can take them, they don't seem that tough," whispered Thalaa.
"Just grab it!" roared Steesh, as Misha looked at the gem.
"No, that's what they want you to do," said Misha.
"So, grab it!" roared Steesh.
"Nah, Misha be right, if we grab it, it gonna set off a trap or somethin', I've seen dis before, adventurer grabs item, they go splat," said Nived.
"Oh...DON'T GRAB IT!!!" roared Steesh.
"What do we do?" asked Misha.
He was then shot in the arm by an arrow, making it fall off.
"...Hey," replied Misha after looking at it for a while.
"Oh, dammit all! They know!" groaned Thalaa.
"Who taught you to shoot, a blind murloc?" asked Soril.
"Shut up, woman!" growled Thalaa.
Steesh then saw them and rushed at them, with his hammer in the air and babbling like a mad-bull.
Soril then ran at the Tauren, closing his eyes as he slashed his sword around, but he was missing all the time as Steesh watched him. "Is he serious?" asked Steesh.
"I don't know, dis human be weak," said Nived, he then felt pain on his feet as firecrackers went off around him…It did not matter to Misha.
"You okay?" asked Misha.
"What you think, moron!" yelled Nived.
Steesh ran to help his friend, Soril opened his eyes and saw the way was open.
He then ran to the pedestal and grabbed the gem. "I got it!" laughed Soril as he turned around, but he looked to see everyone was frozen in time.
"Ummmm, Thalaa?...Enemies?...Hellooooooooo?" called out Soril.
The gem then glowed, it then floated in front of him. "Alright, this is weird," exclaimed Soril.
"Who are you?" asked the gem in a girl's voice.
"WHA!?!?" exclaimed Soril in surprise as he jumped back.
"I'm sorry, but who are you?" asked the gem.
"My name is Soril Greyhelm," he introduced.
"Oh, hello, Soril,, my name is...I...I forgot," said the gem.
"You...don't remember your name?" asked Soril.
"Yes, I don't even remember how I got here, I was all alone for a while, then these members of the Horde came and were arguing, and then you and a Night Elf appeared and you grabbed me, I stopped time to give you something," said the gem.
"What?" asked Soril.
"I...I don't even know if I should give you this," said the gem.
"What is it?" asked Soril.
Then, a yellow bolt of energy hit Soril on the forehead, he was knocked back to the pedestal, and time returned as the gem fell to Soril's hand.
"Ummm, Nived, something happened," said Steesh.
"Huh?" asked Nived as the firecrackers stopped.
"I think the boy just...skipped time," said Steesh.
Thalaa looked at Soril in suprise.
"Oh, I think that be somethin' outlanders call...lagging," said Nived.
"What is that?" asked Misha.
"I have no idea, mon, outlanders be weird," said Nived.
They then looked to see the two Alliance members were gone. "Hey, where they go?" asked Misha.
Thalaa and Soril ran with the gem in the winding cavern, finally, they got to the outside, finding Huju Rustgear, waiting impatiently.
"Finally, you have brought the gem, now, give it to me, and I will unlock all it's power," said Huju.
"It seemed pretty powerful a while ago, it even talked to me," said Soril. "I don't remember that," said Thalaa.
Soril remembered that time stopped when he talked to the gem. "Well, that is only a few powers it has, you give it to me, and I will unlock ALL it's power," said Huju.
Soril was about to hand over the gem, but he heard something. "No...don't do it...his lies are like a river as they flow constantly," said the gem in Soril's mind.
Soril pulled back his hand.
"What are you doing?" asked Huju, sounding impatient.
"Soril, we are about to have great power, give it to him!" growled Thalaa.
"No, I don't have a good feeling about this," said Soril.
"What do you mean?" asked Thalaa.
"The gem...it seems too valuable to trust a goblin with," said Soril.
"You might be right," said Thalaa.
"Now, listen here, children, my master wants that, it is his rightfully, and if you refuse to give me that gem, I will make you suffer!" growled Huju.
"Suffer?" asked Thalaa.
"Weill, I lied about being a mage..." he then lifted his hand in the air, the palm glowing into a demonic symbol. Suddenly, from the sky, a meteor hit behind him.
A large Infernal then climbed out of the crater and roared at them. "I am actually the world's most powerful warlock!" laughed Huju.
Thalaa and Soril prepared for battle, both scared.
"Hey, there they are!" yelled Steesh as the three stooges ran out, to see an Infernal; he then shrieked and hid behind Misha.
"Now, my obedient pat, kill them all!" roared Huju.
The Infernal roared and ran at them, ready to tear and incinerate flesh.
Suddenly, a figure jumped in front of them and started to fight the Infernal. It looked like a Jungle Troll, he wore brown pants, had a red mohawk, purple tattoos all over his body, and a blindfold over his eyes.
He delivered numerous blows with his war glaive, hitting it with great speed.
Huju disappeared in a black smoke from the powerful opponent, afraid of death.
Soril and Thalaa then decided to run away from this place, as did the three warriors.
"Let's get out of here, we are never listening to you, EVER AGAIN!" roared Misha to Nived.
"How would I know that there would be a Warlock waitin' for us!" growled Nived.
"That's it, we are going to Booty Bay!" roared Steesh.
"Agreed, mon!" yelled Nived as they ran out of Westfall in breakneck speed.
"Wow, I cannot believe we got out of there with our skins attached," said Soril.
"Yes, but I could have taken that Infernal with ease!" laughed Thalaa.
"You were wetting yourself just by the sight of it, Thalaa Wetlegs!" laughed Soril.
"Oh, really, Soril Fasthand, I didn't see you without fear!" laughed Thalaa.
They then heard a great ruckus in the distance.
"What is that?" asked Soril.
"I don't know, but it's coming from Sentinel Hill," growled Thalaa.
They rushed across the falls, to find that their home was attacked by a gruesome army. This army had undead horrors, crazed ghouls, mindless crypt fiends, flesh-crazed abominations, horrifying zombies, and terrifying skeletal soldiers, these were the soldiers of the Scourge.
"How...how did they get here?" asked Soril.
"They must have sneaked their way into Westfall from the Plaguelands, let's go!" growled Thalaa.
"But, we cannot defeat the dead, no one has!" yelled Soril.
"If you were a soldier, Soril, you would understand!" yelled Thalaa, she then rushed out to the battle. Soril shook his head; he then followed Thalaa as she ran at the area.
The undead ravaged the village, striking it with killer force, killing and eating all that stood in their way.
At a hill, a lich stood, he had a long black robe that cut off from his waist, a black hood connected to long sleeves, and holding a demonic book with red markings.
He then saw a high elf female walking towards him, she had white long and spiky hair, pale white skin, glowing blue eyes, and a villainous grin. She wore a black plate breastplate with long sleeves that cut from the middle, showing a small piece of her breasts, black shoulder gards with white spikes made of bone, a pair of black plate pants with a silver chainmail skirt and a black leather belt, black plate boots with skull faces carved on them, black plate gauntlets with claws at the end of them, three pikes built on the back of her plate breastplate with three skulls of an orc, a human, and a draenai impaled on them, and holding a black unholy claymore.
"Greetings, Lady Deadbane," announced the lich.
"Crakeron, there is no need to hide your true feelings of hate to me," said Comirin.
"I personally have no idea what you mean," said Crakeron.
"I know you have hard feelings of losing the control of your army to me, lich, especially a woman and an elf," taunted Comirin.
"The Lich King made that decision, and I do not question the works of my god," said Crakeron.
"But, it does not mean you have to like it," said Comirin.
"True, at least I was not giving my backside to the master for a job as a general of a massive army," hissed Crakeron.
Comirin's grin then subsided
"Hold your tongue, lich, the fact I was Arthas' consort as a Death Knight does not mean I had any special favors, we are all equal in the eyes of the Lich King, and we are beneath him and nothing more," growled Comirin.
"If you say so...death knight!" growled Crakeron.
"Besides, we are only here to look for the remaining energy of the magic that is not guarded," said Comirin.
"Yes, it is a shame they won't let you back in," said Crakeron.
"Shut up, you damn lich, I know what I am doing, unlike you, I will find the source, which is coming towards the settlement," said Comirin.
"It's...coming towards the settlement, but how?" asked Crakeron.
"It must have been revived by...something, but I will find it and bring it to the great Lich King," laughed Comirin as her army amassed at Sentinel Hill.
PsykoReaper: This was...surprisingly simple...I don't know why...
Dark Angel: It's pretty simple when you don't have to watch episodes of the thing, just play the game!
PsykoReaper: True, true...