Note from the Scary Satanic One: It's not quite DDNT level, I think, but it was amusing as Hell to write (though I had to stretch some parts a bit, as the original modle Fluffy and I had was terribly short) and hopefully it will be amusing as Hell to read. We are sorry we haven't updated in so long. Some things are going on with my parents that limit my chances to meet with Fluffy greatly, so we have little work time. We should have one other Bella and Cissy centric fic comming out soon, and though we are working on something for the Founders, we can't tell you when it will be ready.
P.S.: I don't know why the first line was in there twice the first time we uploaded. I swear it wasn't in there twice when I typed it on Word. looks again Nope, just hates me. More than likely it's jealous of my scariness, or my Satan, or my pink hair, but it hates me.
"You know, Cissy," Said Bella after a sip of wine on a random Sunday morning, "I don't think Severus is fully loyal to the Dark Lord."
"OMG! STFU, bitch!" Narcissa screeched.
"First off; No mandrake voice. Second; What the Bloody Hell was that?"
"Well, I was researching muggles at the library and they had this thing called the Compulator. The librarian told me to try finding information on it—she said she didn't know what a muggle was, so she couldn't tell me about them—and when she showed me how to use it, I found this thing called the Interwebz on it. Now, and this is the really crazy thing, they use this Interwebz to talk to each other."
Bella looked at her blankly, "Uh-huh. I'm sure muggles would never have thought of sitting down together and talking to each other like this..."
"No! It's true! They use this Interwebz the same way we use owls! Oh, and they do all sorts of other things, there was information on what all of their leaders were doing—did you know this man called the Pope who wears these funny white robes is in America this week? The muggles seem to love him, and they're telling us exactly where he is! Oh, and they had information on what the muggle celebrities were doing, and even these... Sits, I think they were called, where people could talk to each and debate things instantly. All they had to do was write out what they wanted to say using these little buttons with all of the letters out of order and then click this other little button on the screen and it would come up instantly. It was faster than owls, Bella!"
Bella rolled her eyes, "The only way to talk to someone faster than you could by owl is to appearate next to them and talk like we are now, and muggles can't do that."
"No, but they are real! And they are faster than owls! That's where I learned how to say 'OMG! STFU, bitch!' It's the muggle language! They used it on all of the Sits I went to. I think it means 'You might be onto something there.'"
"They say it like that?" Bella asked, "Exclamation points and everything?"
Narcissa nodded, "Oh yes, tone seems to be a very large part of the muggle language—I do hope I can figure it out—in fact, if a muggle is really excited or angry, they will often use more exclamation points than they will words. They'll even use numbers, though I'm not yet sure how to pronounce those."
"Numbers?"
"Yes. Lyk dis!!111111" Cissy tried, using a voice that made her dying mandrake tone sound like a symphony. "But I have a lot of practicing to do before I'll be able to translate everything they say and know all of their secrets... Anyway, back to Severus; He did hang around with that Evans girl when we he was younger."
"What Evans girl?" Bella asked, "Cissy, I'm four years older than you. You can't talk about the people in your class and expect me to just know who they are."
Cissy's jaw fell.
"Lily Evans?"
Bella just blinked at her.
"Later known as Lily Potter."
Bellatrix gasped, "Does our master know? You know, I never did trust Snape…"
Cissy shrugged, "I don't know if he knows or not."
"Well how do you know?"
Narcissa blinked at him, "A Slytherin hanging out with a mudblood Gryffindor? Everyone in our year knew. He says he stopped after third year and the rumor has it that he hated her by the end of our fifth, but still he knew her."
"And you never thought to tell the Dark Lord?!" Bella glared.
"Would you like the Dark Lord to know about everyone you ran around with in school?"
"I never ran around with anyone our master wouldn't approve of! Most of my good friends grew up to be Death Eaters, and those that didn't are at least supporters! Unlike you. What ever happened to that silly wanna-be sorority you used to run around with?"
"That isn't the point," Narcissa snapped. "Bella, we're related to a blood traitor—"
"She is not related to us anymore!"
"—If the Dark Lord doesn't care about that, I don't know what on Earth makes you think that he would care about some girl who Severus had a crush during his first year of when he may or may not have known she was a mudblood."
"Of course he'd care!" Bellatrix continued, "It shows that he's had... thoughts... about the life of a blood traitor before. We shouldn't take any risks... and I thought you were on my side!"
"I was considering your side," Cissy said, "Until you started yelling at me for not sharing every bit of gossip I've ever heard with our master." And if Narcissa's own voice hadn't been growing progressively louder throughout her second sentence, one of the girls might have heard the door open, and noticed Draco walking in with his potions master at his heals.
"I just don't think we should trust Snape!" Bella snapped, "Crucify me."
"Oh, I won't go that far," Snape droned from the other end of the room, "But I would like to know what it is we shouldn't trust me to do."
The two women turned, and for an entire minute looked at Snape in complete silence.
He raised an eyebrow.
"Oh..." Bella recovered finally, "We... er... that is to say... Narcissa," She quickly sent her little sister an eye message explaining that if she didn't want to take the blame for things, she should learn to speak up faster.
Narcissa just glared.
"Narcissa...?" Snape pressed.
Bella turned and looked at the pair. She was not Snape's biggest fan, certainly, but she wasn't about to tell him that she'd been calling him a traitor behind his back. The Dark Lord did not approve of such things. He'd made it very clear to them on many occasions that if they questioned one another's loyalties, they were to go to him about it, not whisper about it until everyone in the damn circle knew except for him.
Draco arched his eyebrows to, and even Bellatrix was shocked by the next words to spill form her lips.
"Narcissa thinks your sleeping with Draco."
"What?!" Three people snapped at Bella at once, though Narcissa was considerably quieter about it than Draco.
"Do you really, Narcissa?" Snape demanded.
Cissy glanced at Snape briefly, then went back to Bella. Bella gave her a weak smile as though to say 'Well, would you really rather tell him the truth and get us all punished?'
Cissy just cleared her throat awkwardly, "Well... are you sleeping with him?"
The two men in the room shared a look of complete disbelief.
Narcissa giggled, "Yes, I know... It's just that I worry so much about my only little boy," She looked at Draco lovingly, putting every ounce of acting talent she had into it, "And his Potions grade was so high that I thought he must have been getting extra credit for something..."
Draco sighed, "Oh. Good. That's how you knew."
Bellatrix and Narcissa froze.
"...What?" Bella said, the first recover once again.
"Well, for a moment I was afraid you'd found the..." His teacher glared at him, and he trailed off, "Anyway, I can keep doing it, as long as it keeps my grades up, right?"
"Nnnnm," Narcissa told the blond.
Both men looked to Bellatrix for a translation.
Ha. Like she had one.
So she nodded enthusiastically, "Oh yes. Anything for your grades."