This is my first Kaleido Star fic… Kinda. It's a humor fic, so this is meant for laughs. Hopefully it does what it's intended to do and give someone a smile.

DISCLAIMER: I love Kaleido Star. The creator is awesome for creating it. This is in jest. The only thing that's anywhere near true is my dislike for Leon. Note that I have nothing against French people and Sailor Moon as well.

Also, Kaleido Star ain't mine.

ENJOY!

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Dear Junichi Sato,

Hello. I hope you have been well with all the other projects you have been working on. I decided to send this letter as a critique of your past work, Kaleido Star. I will say for starters that this show was most definitely enjoyable. The take you had for the characters were interesting and the stunts were well recreated. As much as I enjoyed the show, I also had my fair share of gripes. That which was the portrayal of Ken Robbins. I'm sorry, but it shames me to have such a character made in my name.

To begin this, he was a mess of shyness throughout the whole series. I mean, after a certain amount of time, there's enough beating around the God-Forsaken-Bush. Aside from that, if he didn't get through to Sora with his own exceptionally pitiful attempts, I'm sure those girls, Anna, Mia, Rosetta and Marion would have done something to hook him and Sora up. They're the only busy bodies. Be realistic here.

And I don't even want to mention that idiotic dating guide. What the heck was up with that?! It hurt to even look at that happen. It's very obvious Ken isn't the type to rely on that garbage. I think with how he was made to be, he wouldn't even read through the pages of that drivel without being all shades of red in existence. For goodness sake, I'd doubt he'd get past page one! He's just not the hand book type.

But in all seriousness- was it necessary to make Sora that dense? I mean, you worked on Sailor Moon- and that pigtailed idiot still ended up together with that masked moron for Christ sake. So what was really the reason to make Sora denser than damn lead? Usually, sixteen year olds are sharper than that, but she was sharper than a dulled out butter knife after twenty years of prolonged use- daily. To try and cut down bricks. I could understand if she were a child to be that slow. But a girl with an already developed body and the brain of a grade schooler is a really sad thing. It only made Ken's life all the more difficult. And I don't know what's with him seeing that it was a cute trait. That level of density is not charming whatsoever.

And what the hell was this Leon Oswald deal? If Yuri wasn't a freakin' threat enough, another stupid pretty boy had to be thrown in. He barely even made appearances- and when he did, he was a total and complete douche bag who didn't deserve a second of anyone's time. Only in the last few episodes was he tolerable, after the revealing of his overly checkered past (And of course, have the bishounen have the really screwed up past and hate each other, so they can get into an alluring fight.). Really, the only time I really enjoyed his appearance was in the Rosetta-centric OVA. Short, one for a simple minute, and he looked like a fool. Because seriously, throw in a stupid conflicting pile of emotions in it- as long as he's hot, he gets all the damn attention? Ridiculous. I don't even understand why Leon/Sora is so popular! I don't even understand why it has a fan base in the first place! "Mahbe vee ar zee angels…" Stupid French bender… I swear, at that time when he and Yuri were making amends, I swear, it looks like he wanted to make face with Killian…

Ah, my apologies. Seems as if I've gotten a bit overtaken there. Don't get me wrong, like I mentioned prior, I really enjoyed your work. It's only the fact that Ken never got to properly convey his feelings ( because you seriously had never cut the guy any slack. He said it nice and clear, and you always had SOMETHING ruin the moment. Sadist. Though I respect you, sir.) and …well… Leon's existence. I felt he was rather… extraneous. But that's all. Otherwise, congratulations on your good work Mr. Sato.

Respectively,

Ken Robbins.

P.S.: Leon is still a stupid, conflicted French bender that shouldn't exist. I will voice that as much as I need to. He really was unnecessary.