The Sacrifices We Make for The Ones We Love
Chapter 1
Pregnant the little pink sign said.
Pregnant the doctor said.
Pregnant. The word bellowed in Detective Olivia Benson's head. A smile crept across her lips as she stared down at her flat abdomen, dreaming about the beautiful baby she was currently carrying. But when she looked up at her reflection, she quickly felt the lovely smile disappear. It just was not that simple.
Olivia was not married. Hell, she hadn't dated anyone in over a year but she had definitely slept with someone.
It would have been easier if it had just been a one night stand with some guy she would never see again but it was a hell of a lot more complicated. She had slept with a man she had always vowed to never get romantically involved with. He was married, he had a beautiful family but most of all, he was her partner.
She loved Elliot Stabler with all her heart. They had been together working in Manhattan's SVU department for nearly ten years and granted many days she wanted to kill him, but she had always loved him. Sometimes it was more than a friendly love and she had always known that would be dangerous. She never thought it would end like this however.
It wasn't even Elliot she was worried about, nor the job she loved so dearly but rather Elliot's family. Kathy, Elliot's wife, seemed to have nothing but venom for since day one of Olivia and Elliot's relationship and she would surely end their marriage once having heard this but that was not something Olivia would be responsible for and she was going to make sure of it. She knew Elliot's four children would feel distraught over the situation as well and once again, Olivia didn't want that.
Neither she nor her child would be responsible for anything corrupt in Elliot's life. That was guaranteed.
She sighed deeply, finally coming to a conclusion for the situation, and looked over at the clock hanging in her apartment living room.
12:45, she read. She had been contemplating for over five hours. Five hours that she was supposed to be researching a current case she and Elliot were working on. It didn't matter anyway. It was obvious she would not be seeing this case through. She just couldn't.
She carefully closed the open folder and switched on the television. With so much on her mind, she knew it would be ridiculous to even try to sleep. Right about now, some bullshit television was just what she needed.
"Kathy, you are being ridiculous. I was working damnit!' Elliot yelled at his wife who was currently accusing him of spending time with his partner instead of being at the twin's parent teacher interview.
"Yeah, my ass. Sorry if I'm mistaken but one in the morning visit to a café doesn't sound like work to me," Kathy shot back angrily. She was so tired of her husband spending all his time at work and not to mention with Olivia. It didn't matter how much bullshit her husband tried to tell her, she knew better. You just do not work with someone of the opposite sex for nearly ten years and NOT harbor feelings for them.
"What? You don't think I should eat while I'm working? Kathy, do you realize just how ridiculous you sound?" She glared at him and continued washing the dishes in the sink then paused and turned around to face him, pressing her lips together before speaking.
"Elliot, I'm just so tired of it. You never have time for me or the kids. We are your priority not your work. Us, not Olivia, us." Elliot rolled his eyes with anger. Did she have to bring up Olivia every single conversation? It was ridiculous but as soon as he thought about it, he instantly wanted to take it back, remembering the night he and Olivia had spent over a month ago.
"I'm sorry Kath, you're right. I should spend more time with you and the kids," Elliot replied in a distant voice, his eyes never meeting hers. Kathy nodded slowly then threw down the dish cloth and began to walk out of the kitchen.
"Let me know when you actually mean it," she yelled before storming up the stairs, clearly upset. Elliot sighed. He was so tired of this. He truly did love Kathy with all his heart, she was the mother of his children, but he had not been in love with her for a very long time. He just wished he could tell his true feelings to the one he was in love with.
"Liv, what the hell is this?" Donald Cragen asked his star detective as she walked into his office and handed him an official document he had hoped to receive from her.
"Captain, I want a transfer," She stated.
"Yeah, I can see that," he said sarcastically, though Olivia could sense the no-joke tone in his voice. "Liv, what's up? This is so sudden. Did something happen with you and Elliot? Sit down," he instructed. Olivia nodded and did so resentfully.
"Listen, I don't want to make a big deal of this." Cragen cocked his head to the side.
"Sorry, when one of my star detectives decides to request a transfer out of the blue, it tends to be a big deal. Did something happen with you and Elliot? I need to know." Olivia smiled sarcastically.
"Yes, I guess you could say that," she said. Cragen tried to decipher Olivia's face. Something? What the hell did that mean?
"Olivia, just tell me. Elliot will not hear of anything," he paused, "I need to know if one of my detectives is a risk to others," Cragen finished genuinely. Olivia's eyes went wide. She could not believe that Cragen actually thought that Elliot was abusing her in some form.
"No! It's not like that." Cragen's face became hard again. He wasn't interested in playing 'guess what's on my mind' right about now.
"Olivia, please, just say it."
"I'm pregnant," she finally stated hastily. Cragen's eyes went wide with disbelief. If this involved Elliot that could only mean…
"It's Elliot's," Olivia continued. He nodded mechanically.
"I see. Have you talked to him?" She shook her head.
"I can't let this be the reason his marriage ends. You know Kathy won't stay with him if she finds out and she'll take the kids too. Please, just allow this to be my business. Trust me, it's better if I leave without making a scene." Cragen nodded with an understanding. Olivia was like a daughter to him and there was nothing more we wanted to then to help her.
"Alright, if that's what you feel is right, then that's your business but please don't shut me out. If there's anything you need, you know the number." Olivia smiled. This truly was her family and it hurt her so much to think about leaving them but that was just another sacrifice she had to make.
"I will. Thanks Captain," she said, getting up from her chair and exiting his office. Cragen just nodded. It was hard to watch her leave but he knew she wouldn't be far. He just knew Olivia wouldn't shut him out like she had planned to do with Elliot. SVU was her family just like it was his but he also knew that Olivia had more to worry about right now then hurting people's feelings.
He sighed and looked over her request for transfer, his eyes immediately darting down to where she had requested to be transferred to. San Francisco, CA. She truly was looking for a new beginning and as far away from Elliot as possible. He sighed coming to terms with losing one of his best detectives and scribbled his signature at the bottom of the paper indicating his approval for the transfer. He then stacked it on top of some other papers and stared at her name. Boy was he going to miss her.