Fall From the Sky

by Thyme In Her Eyes

Author's Notes: Back with another story for the CxA Forum's 100 Themes Challenge, this time writing for the theme "Stars". The story's set during the visit to Cosmo Canyon, and takes places after Nanaki discovers the truth about his father. Enjoy!

-- FALL FROM THE SKY --

Trying to catch you heart
Is like trying to catch a star.

– Sunset Strippers ('Falling Stars').

x-x-x

Like all badlands, Cosmo Canyon's days blistered with heat, but its nights were cold and dangerous. The late hours had an icy pulse and a sharp wind traveled down from the north, and although her skin prickled with goosebumps, Aeris didn't want to leave. She was on the village's remotest outskirts, and furthest away from the harmonious warmth the population had established whilst respecting nature's will and balance. The elements were more raw where she stood, and that calmed her. The sky seemed more expansive than ever on such a clear night, and its canopy was studded with stars. Aeris smiled to herself and crossed her arms over her middle, trying to keep warm as she stared out into the night, lost in thought.

The voice of the Planet was so much clearer now. She could pick out words and voices, and more than that... Emotion, too. One emotion, over and over. Suffering. She wondered how she's been deaf to it before now, when the Planet was so full of pain, so full of dread of what was to come. Hearing it made her bones ache and groan, and she longed to help. The Planet cried to her, but she was helpless to do anything about it.

The stars glittered above, sharing light with her that they had given to other planets billions of years ago. She looked up at them, scanning the skies for an answer, for the key to healing her broken world and all the dear people on it surface. Something was coming – her senses pulsed with the feeling. She had to be ready, had to keep her eyes open and not lose sight of what counted.

"You okay?" It was Cloud, always skirting on the edge when it came to her, and the worry in his voice warmed her heart. "Shouldn't you be inside, Aeris? It's late."

"So how come you're up?" She asked, not unkindly, and inclined her head towards him slightly, trying not to let it show how the beauty in his eyes always took her by surprise.

Her stay here hadn't been a very happy one so far and for some reason looking at him and feeling the emotions he sparked rise inside her was more painful than ever. His brow creased with concern and his eyes scoured her face for answers and everything about him showed how much he wanted to help, and she suddenly wanted to cry.

"...Couldn't sleep." He said at last, defeated.

"Snap," she said, turning away, not wanting to see his reaction to that.

Aeris expected him to walk away from her, but he drew even closer than ever, and her breath hitched for a short moment. Everything about her seemed too sensitive that night, and she didn't want him closer. She was struggling with herself, grappling with difficult questions, and felt as though all her emotions were about to pour out, and Cloud being so near didn't help any. If it happened, he shouldn't be there. Maybe it would do them both some good but she didn't want to push things, not now. A few weeks ago she might've cared less, but now he was so important, and so was what he thought of her - and their relationship was strong, but delicately balanced. She didn't want to break down in front of him and make him uncomfortable around her, and she didn't want to unload all her burdens onto him, not these ones anyway. Not when he clearly had enough problems of his own to worry about. And she had to be strong...

"You know you don't have to cut yourself off, right?" he offered gently. "You can tell me things."

She smiled and nodded, keeping her head ducked as she brushed at her eyes. "I know Cloud, I know. And I'm sorry for being like this –"

"Don't be," he said suddenly, then caught himself. "I mean, you shouldn't have to be sorry. Everyone gets like this... I just want to know if...um, if there's anything I can do."

Smiling, she shook her head. "Nope, you already did plenty. I never thanked you for taking me with Nanaki and Bugenhagen to see Seto, but it did me a lot of good. It put a lot of things in perspective for me and I'm grateful to you for that. For many things, really."

"...Just thought you could've done with something to take your mind off things," he said sheepishly.

"Well, you were right," she said, giving him a tender look.

He gave her a tentative and slightly forced grin. "Then how come you're not asleep?"

"I feel better, I do," she pressed, taking a step closer towards him. "But I still have a few things I need to figure out. Besides, it's so pretty here at night – I never noticed it before. I don't think I've ever seen so many stars in the sky."

She looked back at those stars, wondering what wisdom they held, and what answers they might offer her. She was quietly drifting away from Cloud and back into her own thoughts, and was sorry to shut him out and not need him. But something about the questioning look in his eyes, as though he wanted her back to normal but didn't know why, made her soften and want to forget her problems. His smiles were so rare, it'd be sad to waste an opportunity to tease one out of him, but she couldn't summon up the mood for any of that. She sighed, and the stars all resembled shining tears in the sky.

"Aeris?" Cloud asked, voice hushed and unsure.

"Yeah?" she whispered.

"When you say you need to figure things out...you mean by yourself, right?"

His question was only meant to probe gently, but the answer Aeris felt inside her stung. She didn't want to send him away, or refuse his offer to listen to her. Any other time, it would have made her dizzy with happiness to know he cared so much for her, but what she needed at that moment was time to sift through all the Elders had told her. What she really wanted was for Cloud to just hold her in the quiet, but she knew he wasn't ready to hear that request, so she couldn't go there yet.

She gave a tiny nod. "Yeah...I did mean by myself. I'm sorry."

"That's okay."

"Hmm?"

"You don't have to talk about it...I understand feeling like that. But I'd feel much better about this if I could just sit out here and wait for you to think things over; so if you don't mind, I'll do that. I'll be quiet. Just...tell me when you want to go in."

She smiled in spite of herself, taken by surprise. "Trying to protect me from my own bad days?"

"Something like that," he said, avoiding looking at her. "Doesn't matter how long you're out here."

"Okay," she said, giving him a soft smile. "I'd be honoured if you stayed with me."

He sat in silence, close beside her without being intrusive. Aeris smiled; he was being so sweet. Once he let the facade drop, an amazing person began to shine through, someone Aeris desperately wanted to get to know better. But her problems understanding herself weighed heavily on her mind too, and she couldn't tear her thoughts away from them. She'd imagined that learning more about her heritage would bring her closer to her mother and her ancestors, and would tell her more about who she really was, but all it brought was confusion and unanswered questions. She'd wondered before reaching the Canyon about what kind of a person a Cetra was supposed to be like, how she was supposed to be or act, but now she understood that it really didn't matter. But being the last of her kind had suddenly become more of a burden than she'd been prepared for – all the knowledge of her people, not to mention the destiny of the Planet, rested on her. She was only starting to see that, and she'd never felt so cut off from the people she cared for.

But Cloud was with her now, she realized. He was trying, too – for her sake. He was trying to make her feel better, though he didn't have to. He was choosing to be with her even when she was being a real misery to hang around. So maybe she was alone in some ways, but so was he. And how alone were they really, when they reached out to each other like this?

She looked away from the open and empty sky one more time, and saw his face. He'd been watching her, but turned his head away sharply now, a little embarrassed. He looked so earnest and confused, but it was clear that he wanted her to feel better, and was willing to stay with her until that happened. He was so easy to let into her heart when so much of him was endearing and the rest of him intriguing. It hurt her to see him so troubled on her account, but it warmed her soul to see how much she mattered. Part of her wanted to move closer to him, to touch him or hug him, let him know that she appreciated what he was trying to do, and how he was going about making things better in his own way. It didn't matter that his manner wasn't exactly smooth or direct, what he wanted to say was plain. Everything was clear in the silence around them. Aeris could see it in his overcast eyes, and couldn't help but gravitate towards him, even away from her own problems.

It was almost silly, how much she'd grown to care for him, when she knew so little about him – but she wanted to be by his side to find those things out. Aeris couldn't help but think that they were connected somehow, that there was something between them running deeper than she knew. It gave her the feeling that the closer she was to him and the longer she followed him and helped him, the closer she'd get to finding all the answers she was looking for; about herself, the Planet, and her destiny.

How could she feel alone when someone with the attitude Cloud was displaying right now was by her side? Aeris silently asked herself that question over and over as she smiled up at the sky, sure that it had given her an important answer. Maybe the stars were winking down at her.

The wind was softer and kinder now, as it drifted through her hair and good thoughts floated through her mind. How could she act as though she was all by herself when she was only halfway through the journey? Who knew what they might find next, or what would happen. And so long as the sun rose in the morning, everything would be alright. And Cloud would be there, like he was now.

"Cloud?" she ventured, after a long silence, her voice almost as soft as the night air.

"Yeah?" His answer was tentative and patient, the voice of the person she longed to prise out of Zack's shell.

"They say there's a forest associated with the Ancients near here, but that it's impossible to reach on foot or by air," Aeris said, stepping towards him and looking at him searchingly, trying to figure things out. "Do you think we could find a way to go there sometime?"

"Shouldn't be too hard," he said casually, though his voice was just as soft and quiet as hers had been. "I heard a while ago that there's a kind of chocobo you can breed that'll cross any kind of land, no problem. And it definitely sounds like the kind of place we should visit."

She brightened up instantly, not as cheerful as she normally was, but full of gentle happiness and quiet hope. "Really? So we'll go?"

He nodded slightly, his smile very small but full of warmth. "Yeah, we will. It's a promise."

"Thanks, Cloud," she said, smiling and unashamed of the tears in her eyes. "I'll look forward to it."

Of course, he looked more confused than ever by her reaction, and socked and saddened by her tears, as if she'd stirred up something tender and protective in him. "You're okay now?"

"Yeah," she answered, wiping at her tears and giving him a real smile – one she knew would reassure him. "I'm happier now."

"So, can we go indoors?"

Taken aback, she burst into giggles. "Yeah...sure we can. It is cold, isn't it?"

"A bit," he said, chuckling nervously.

He was offering her his arm, and she stepped close to him, sharing his warmth. Nervously and self-consciously, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and walked towards the inn where their friends slept. He was completely unrelaxed doing this, and so full of tension and awkwardness, acutely aware of her closeness, but Aeris noticed how he never tried to show her this, and never tried to pull away or retreat back into the safety of his comfort-zone. That was what mattered most in the end, that he wanted to be there for her. She suddenly felt so much affection in her that she wanted to take his hand or put her arms around him, but she held back. He'd think she was waiting for something or was gaging his reaction, and the last thing she wanted was to make him uncomfortable – not when he had made a bleak and elusive night into something beautiful just by sitting out in it with her.

Aeris turned and looked up at the wise and endless sky, and wished upon one of the stars glittering there. Silently and fiercely, she wished that one day everything they'd talked about would happen, and she and Cloud could visit the Ancient Forest together. Then she walked away from the dead stars, heading with Cloud towards sleep and rest, never noticing how the star she wished on fell from the sky in silent omen.

-- FIN --