A/N: Naruto is not mine. Also, note the genre.
"Naruto used to sing."
Jiraiya blinks at Kakashi's sudden statement.
"Oookay and…?"
Kakashi doesn't respond and Jiraiya dives back into his cup of sake. He's debating calling for yet another bottle when Kakashi pipes up again.
"When he was six, he started climbing out on the balcony to sing for his ANBU guards so that they didn't get too bored. Unfortunately for them, it turned out the only song he really knew was 'The Bloody Shuriken' which he sang. Again and again and again…"
Jiraiya laughs. "I'm sure they were real grateful."
The corner of Kakashi's one visible eye crinkles briefly.
"Ibiki wanted to use him to interrogate prisoners. Anko wanted to interrogate him as a prisoner. The Sandiame just laughed at us, his elite shinobi force defeated by a six year old that couldn't even count to fifty yet. Somehow or another though, after about a month of driving us all crazy with that song, Naruto was suddenly taking singing lessons from Ox."
Jiraiya feels his smile drain away. He's pretty sure he already knows the ending of the story. And he doesn't like it.
"The kid had a pretty nice voice actually, not the best I've heard but decent enough and much easier to enjoy after Ox taught him some good songs that weren't 'The Bloody Shuriken'. After the Uchiha massacre though, everyone's stretched thin including the ANBU so the Sandiame decides to switch Naruto's guard detail down to a single watcher and Ox of course was one of the first assigned.
"I think I've heard enough," Jiraiya interrupts. Kakashi ignores him and keeps talking.
"I had been walking past on a whim that day, looking for an excuse to delay having to meet up with Gai. I dawdled under his window for almost an hour, wondering why there was no singing, wondering why I couldn't sense Ox's chakra signature and if I'd gotten the schedule wrong somehow. For an hour, I waited around like some fool before it finally hit me that I couldn't sense any ANBU in the area. Or Naruto."
Jiraiya stares down at his empty cup of sake and thinks of walking away, of leaving the drunk and reminiscing Kakashi for someone else to take care of. He hadn't come today to prod at old wounds.
"We're supposed to be celebrating your first genin team."
"Ah yes, my first genin team," Kakashi says wryly, "Did you know Haruno likes to hum while weeding?"
Jiraiya grimaces. "Kakashi, don't do this."
A beat.
"It should have been Naruto. It should have been him on my genin team, complaining about Tora and humming 'The Bloody Shuriken' as he pulls out dandelions. If I had been there earlier, if I had realized what was going on just a bit faster, if I hadn't failed, it would have been him."
Jiraiya turns away from the grieving man and gestures at the bartender to bring them another bottle of sake. Without another word, he refills their cups and they drink to the boy they had both failed to protect.
In the corner, a small party of celebrating shinobi starts singing 'The Bloody Shuriken' again.