Title: Memorial

Synopsis: Kristin Westphalen hears from a friend that seaQuest has vanished. End of Season 2.

Notes: I was really unhappy that there was nothing mentioned of Kristin and Nathan's relationship in the second season. They were close at the end of the first and then because the actress didn't return in the second, there was no mention of it.

This is my attempt at an explanation, sort of, and her reaction when she learns of the events in Season 2's finale.

I'm REALLY not sure about the characterization here, so if anything is off, please let me know.

Beta'd by the best beta reader ever, mal4prez. Check out her work on this site.

Memorial

Kristin glanced out the window of her state-of-the-art lab and squinted into the sun. As Chief Science Officer for the UEO's official exploratory marine biology division, she'd been sent to this island to research different forms of unusual sea life and determine if they could in some way benefit humankind. She'd been here for nearly a year, but it seemed like it had only been a month. The whirlwind of excitement that had greeted her and her team when they arrived to conduct their research hadn't abated.

She'd been working long hours, sleeping deeply when she could manage to close her eyes, and eating only enough to keep her body from shutting down all together. It was too exciting, this phase of her life. Marine biology was her passion, one of the few left in her life. But she didn't allow herself to dwell – much. What was done was done and she couldn't have any regrets.

The vid phone on the desk chimed but she was too engrossed in her work to answer it. She left it to her assistant. Despite being engrossed in the new species of aquatic sponge they'd discovered, she could hear the familiar voice being piped through the vid phone's speakers. The caller would just have to leave a message. She didn't have time to talk to him.

Kristin could feel her assistant approach, but didn't look up. "What is it?"

"A call for you, ma'am."

"Take a message. I'm busy."

"He says it's important."

"Men always say that and rarely does it turn out to be the case,' Kristin retorted, a bit more harshly than she'd intended. She hadn't had much success with men in her life, though she did know that wasn't something she could completely blame on them.

When her assistant's hand landed gently on her shoulder, Kristin looked up. Her assistant wasn't smiling.

"I really think you should take this call."

Kristin wanted to be annoyed by the interruption, but the look on her assistant's face gave her a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She nodded, pulled the gloves off her hands, and went to the vid phone.

Kristin's eyes narrowed when she saw the normally crazy cheerful man looking back at her. He wasn't smiling either. "Malcolm?"

"Hi Kristin."

"Is there something you need?"

"Where are you?"

Kristin was taken aback by the suddenness of the question. "Working. Why?"

She could see him take a deep breath, could see that he had something on his mind.

"I would rather tell you in person, can you get to –"

"I'm on the other side of the world from you, Malcolm. What's going on?" She couldn't shake the nagging feeling that he was calling to tell her something she didn't want to hear.

"You don't watch much news, do you?"

"I'm on an island in the middle of nowhere, Malcolm. I've been a bit busy." She was annoyed now, and she knew it was her way of avoiding whatever news he'd called to deliver.

"SeaQuest is gone."

Kristin blinked at the screen for a moment. That certainly wasn't what she was expecting to hear. "What?"

"It's gone. Vanished."

Kristin pursed her lips and chuckled lightly. "The UEO has lost its mighty flagship?" She clasped her hands on the desk to keep them from shaking.

"All allied Confederations have sent out ships to its last known coordinates but they've come up empty."

Kristin shook her head. That was impossible. There were all kinds of precautions in place should a submarine with seaQuest's resources run aground or, for some reason, sink unexpectedly. It was impossible for a boat of that size to completely disappear. "Why are you telling me this?"

She could see him hesitate for a moment.

"I waited, Kristin. I waited a few weeks to call you. I was hoping the reports were wrong."

Kristin's her temper flared hotly for a moment. "Weeks? They've been missing for – weeks?" And he was just now telling her? But she calmed quickly. She had no more right than any civilian to know the status of one of the UEO's most powerful submarines.

"The UEO just called off the search. They plan to make an official announcement today."

Kristin felt as if a rug had been pulled out from under her feet. How could a ship as large as seaQuest have simply vanished with no trace? Her voice was small, unsteady as she asked, "They've not found any survivors?"

She could hear the strain in his voice, the sadness. "All hands are presumed lost."

Kristin bit her lip and took a deep breath. She hadn't heard from Malcolm in months and she'd known, when she took a moment to think about it, that he was calling to give her bad news. But she'd expected to hear that they'd been shot down enforcing some unbelievable UEO order. Not that they'd disappeared with no trace.

For a moment she let her resolve slip but then the mask was back in place again. "Thank you for telling me." She couldn't think of anything else to say. She had to cut the connection, and quickly.

She could see confusion in his eyes but he simply nodded. Maybe he understood her need to deal with the news in private. He was a smart man, after all. She'd dated him for a time.

"You'll come to the service?"

She wanted to tell him no, she wouldn't be there. She couldn't say goodbye again. It had been painful enough the first time. But she knew it would be a lie. "When and where?"

"NCQ, two days. They want to give the families enough time."

"I'll be there." She clicked off the vid phone quickly and then stared blankly at the dark screen. She quickly set it only to receive messages from now on. She didn't want to talk to anyone else.

When she looked down at her clenched hands, they were white. She'd argued about this very thing with Nathan prior to their decision to part ways. The parting had been amicable, though. It wasn't for lack of loving one another that had caused the split. Their lives, while they crossed along the way, spiraled in opposite directions. He was headed back to the sea, and she had decided not to sign on for another tour aboard the newly constructed seaQuest. She'd instead been offered the job of a lifetime, even more important than head scientist aboard the UEO's flagship, and she'd taken it.

When her assistant came over to ask if she was okay, Kristin simply waved her hand dismissively.

"I'm fine. Fine." She tapped a few buttons on the vid phone and waited impatiently for the link to connect. When it did, she wasted no time. "I need to be on the first plane, ship or sub back to New Cape Quest."

The vid phone chimed for the fifth time in the last hour and Kristin threw a sour look at it. A melancholy feeling surrounded the base today, which was no surprise. The UEO's flagship had disappeared and all hands aboard were presumed lost. That was enough to throw the entire UEO into a near state of emergency. Nothing short of a huge boat could take out the seaQuest. And no Confederation was brave - or stupid - enough to admit they'd sanctioned such a thing.

Due to her position, she was given a room at the base, and because of that, everyone had been trying to contact her. If it wasn't work, it was people she'd known on her first tour with seaQuest, those who had elected not to continue on to the second. She'd even ignored Malcolm's calls.

A sharp knock drew her out of her thoughts and she sighed. She really didn't want to be bothered. But, since she wasn't answering the vid phone, she knew he'd eventually track her down by knocking on her door.

When she pulled it open, she was surprised to see Katherine Hitchcock standing in the hall.

"Katie?"

"Hi, I hope you don't mind. I . . . we -" She gestured to her left to see Benjamin Kreig and Manilow Crocker, their military dress outfits as crisp as she'd ever seen them, standing beside her. "- wanted to see if you wanted to walk over with us."

Kristin hesitated for a moment. She'd prepared herself for this. She had to be steely. She didn't want to break down. She hadn't seen any of these people in months, some longer, but when she saw their faces, the emotional loss they'd all suffered stole away her breath and she couldn't speak.

Crocker stepped forward and opened his arms. He didn't presume, and she appreciated the gesture. But seeing the former members of seaQuest's crew tore her heart and she relinquished her desperate hold on her steely resolve – if only for a minute.

"It hurts," Crocker said when Kristin sank into his arms and embraced him tightly.

"More than I ever thought," she whispered and closed her eyes.

Behind him, Kristin could see Krieg place his arm around Katie's shoulders in a clear gesture of support.

The service was full of pomp, full of military accolades that made Kristin sick to her stomach. The crew of the seaQuest was as deserving as anyone to receive the posthumously awarded medals, but it still left a bad taste in her mouth. It was as if the UEO was parading around the names of the dead to serve some sort of an agenda. She'd never liked the military and the way they handled events like these were part of the reason why.

Members of the crew's family accepted the medals of honor bestowed upon seaQuest's fallen crew, from the lowest ranking to the highest. When the officers names were read, Kristin's chest tightened. She could see Crocker, sitting to her right, glance over at her, but she kept her gaze straight ahead. She had seen Malcolm sitting a few rows back, but she hadn't approached him prior to the service beginning. He'd come to greet her, give her a hug, and then went back to his seat.

She knew the captain would be last, and when the name was read, she bit her lip. He had no family to accept a medal. Former Secretary General Noyce stood and accepted it with a solemn face and a crisp salute, but instead of walking off the dais decorated with all manner of UEO banners, he stood at the podium and spoke. The sadness in his voice caused tears to prick at the corner of Kristin's eyes.

"It pains me more than you will ever know to accept this medal. Nathan Bridger was a good friend, and an even better man."

Crocker covered Kristin's hand with his own and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"He hated obeying my orders, and had no problem telling me so. But he was the best Captain the seaQuest could have had, and he will be missed." Noyce scanned the crowed. "They'll all be missed."

Kristin clutched Crocker's hand tightly. In her other rested two red roses. Little red dots stained their stems from where she clutched them tightly enough to draw blood.

She didn't want to be here. She didn't want to relive the memories – both good and bad. But Noyce was speaking and she could do nothing but listen. She would never forgive herself if she walked out.

"In honor of those who gave their lives in the service of exploration and peace, we have commissioned a memorial to remind us of the importance of seaQuest's mission – and the mission of all who serve in the UEO."

The large UEO banner hanging behind him fell in a suspiciously coordinated way to reveal a beautiful carved stone replica of the seaQuest. It sat high in the air at an angle as if it were diving into the deep. At its base were the names of its fallen crew.

Kristin could have sworn she heard his voice crack as he turned and touched the nose of the ship. "We will always remember."

Kristin lowered her head as the bugle began to play. Her shoulders shook when each shot was fired. And at the last, she closed her eyes to keep the tears at bay.

It was a long time before she could look up again. She was grateful for the quiet support Crocker offered. He still sat patiently at her side, as did Katie Hitchcock and Benjamin Kreig.

"I'm going up," Ben said as he stood.

"I'll go with you," Katie stood as well and looked back down at Kristin.

"Not yet," she whispered, hoping that Katie understood.

Katie turned to Crocker and nodded when he said, "I'll stay."

Kristin said nothing, but she watched Katie and Ben approach the nearly empty dais. Most of the mourners had paid their respects and moved on to mourn with their families.

"I never said goodbye," Kristin whispered. Tears dripped down her cheeks and this time she made no effort to stop them.

"He loved you."

"Love was never our problem." Some of her trademark snark filled the sad tone and she shook her head. 'Love of the sea, of our work, that's what pushed us apart." She looked up at Crocker's kind, sad face and forced a small smile.

"Don't forget you're both stubborn as mules."

Kristin chuckled then and wiped away a few tears. "Can't argue with that." Kristin nodded toward where Kreig stood with his arm around Katie.

"They back together?"

Crocker chuckled. "I'm not sure he could handle her."

Kristin smiled sadly. "Lucas' father wasn't even here." The disgust and disapproval was evident on her face.

Crocker frowned deeply. "I noticed."

"So many good people . . ."

"Do you – " Crocker hesitated but Kristin knew what he was going to say. "–want to go up now?"

Kristin took a deep breath and stood. "Yes, I believe I do."

They made their way up to the dais and Kristin wasn't shocked to see of the flowers that lay at the large marble base. They surrounded the names etched there, but did not cover them.

Katie and Krieg stepped aside as Kristin knelt to drop the roses among all the others. She reached out and brushed her fingers over Nathan and Lucas' names and then stood.

So lost in the moment, she didn't notice when former Secretary General Noyce and his wife Janet approached.

"Kristin?"

Kristin took a deep breath and nodded. "Bill, Janet." She glanced down at his hand as he held it out.

"I know he would have wanted you to have this."

Kristin shook her head and took a step back. "No. No, I can't."

"Please."

"Take it," Crocker insisted and was supported by vigorous nods from Katie and Ben. "He's right."

"What am I to do with it?" Kristin asked as she carefully lifted the medal from the case.

Noyce closed her hand around it. "Remember."

Kristin nodded and turned quickly away. She walked back down the aisle alone, medal clutched tightly in her hand, until Crocker caught up with her.

When they reached the end of the aisle, she turned around and looked back at the memorial. Ben and Katie still stood there, as did Noyce and his wife.

The ship towered high into the sky like a beacon calling its lost crew home.

Maybe one day, it would.

END