Summary: Ginny has a problem. Can Hermione help?

Warning: This is utter crack based on two roommates bouncing ideas off each other both figuratively and literally. Fem Slash. Ginny/Hermione DH Compliant. COMPLETE

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and related characters belong to J.K. Rowling. I just like to play with them once in a while.

Hermione sat in the Potter's kitchen, watching as Ginny poured tea for the both of them and then sat down.

Lily and Hugo had gone over to Bill and Fleur's house for the weekend, enabling the two friends a break in which they could catch up without having to worry about being interrupted by children.

Ginny stared at the teacup in her hand for a moment and then sat it back down on the saucer. She looked up at her sister-in-law, "I have a problem. It's about Harry."

Hermione placed her cup down, now curious and slightly worried, "What is it? Maybe I can help?"

"He's having problems performing." Ginny replied, a tinge of pink creeping onto her cheeks.

"Performing?" Hermione's eyebrows knit together in confusion, "Like his magic?"

"In a sense…" the redhead replied, biting at her lip slightly.

"Care to elaborate?" the brown-haired woman asked, slightly perplexed now.

"Well, you know…" Ginny shrugged her shoulders as she looked down into her teacup.

"No, I don't know. What do you mean?"

"Well, um, I mean-"

"Spit it out!"

"HIS DICK IS DEAD!" Ginny shouted, her face turning a brilliant shade of red, rivaling her hair colour.

Hermione looked at her sister-in-law with an expression of shock upon her face. Once she was able to speak again she asked, "Did it have a last will and testament?"

Ginny's bright brown eyes flashed, "This isn't a joke!"

"You mean he can't-" Hermione started.

"YES!"

The brown-haired woman shook her head, astonishment in her voice, "Never thought anything could get the 'Boy-Who-Lived' down."

"This isn't funny Hermione." Ginny stated as she crossed her arms against her chest, "How would you feel if it were Ron? With this… issue?"

"Oh." Hermione said simply, turning slightly pink.

"See? So, can you help?" Ginny asked.

"Help how?" Hermione asked, wondering how on earth the red-haired woman expected her to help, "Show you some tricks?"

Ginny feigned a look of innocence as she looked the other woman up and down. "I was thinking more along the lines of…"

"NO."

"Why not? Its not like I wouldn't help you out if you were in the same situation." The redhead replied, pouting slightly.

"Ginevra Molly Weasley, how dare you suggest such a thing?!" Hermione began to yell.

The rest of her rant was cut off, however, as she felt warm lips upon hers. The brown-haired woman gasped, and Ginny took this as a chance to dive her tongue into Hermione's mouth. Her tongue licked at the roof of the brown-haired woman's mouth, causing the older woman to shudder. Ginny's tongue darted across the woman's teeth next, dipping in and out in rhythm to the structure of the bone.

The redhead finally pulled away a few moments later, her breathing slightly labored.

"So?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"If that was your opening argument, I'd love to hear your closing statement." Hermione replied.

The two women shared a look and then made their way to the bedroom.