Title: All Cats Are Gray in the Dark

Author:Red Wasabi

Disclaimer:Ain't mine.

Notes: Starscream/Red Alert/grugdefuck Wow, so that's a interesting pairing, This will be a two part fic, the other part will be from Red Alert's POV. This one is Starscream's POV.

Rating: R

"With a step more confident then he felt Starscream walked out of the Decepticon base and shot off in to the sky. He was going to do it again. He couldn't stop, he was addicted to him. He hated him; but he couldn't walk away."

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He couldn't keep doing this, it was wrong, twisted. If any bot found out where he had been going and what he had been doing—it would be the end for him. Megatron had allowed a thousand acts of treason to slip by, but this—Starscream knew that if he found out about this, that would be the end of it all.

With a step more confident then he felt Starscream walked out of the Decepticon's base and shot off in to red waning light of the evening the sky. He was going to do it again. He couldn't stop, he was addicted to him. He hated him; but he couldn't walk away.

If some bot had told Starscream a vorn ago that he would have an Autobot lover, he would have laughed hysterically—then he would have permanently offlined them. Here he was though, in the middle of no where preparing to connect sparks again with his Autobot lover.

A shudder went through him,'No, not my lover...' As he touched down to earth they exchanged the only sign of acknowledgment the other bot would permanent. A brief flash of optics, one pair angry and lustful, the other distant and confused. Then suddenly bot in question grabbed Starscream in a rough embrace and began to harshly caress him. Almost regretfully Starscream's optics flickered off, their routine never changed. Only Starscream had.

There was no time for Starscream to protest as the bot brutally pushed him to the ground and climbed on top of him. Agile digits quickly found the most sensitive wires and nodes; rubbing and teasing them mercilessly. Starscream bit back a moan as his spark chamber began to open up and expose itself to heavily panting bot a top him. This was the part he hated—loved the most. The part when they connected in a flurried of mix of passion, lust anger, and on his part—love.

The bot rammed up against Starscream as the energy pulses became harder and longer. Soon they would reach overload and the spark locking process would be complete, desperately Starscream tried to hold off. Starscream unwillingly looked up at the bot above him, his face contorted in pleasure. Just a few more breems like this and he could walk away from this forever. He just needed this to last a little longer.

Starscream's frame began to violently shake and twitch in time with the other bot. The bot savagely moaned as he thrust halfheartedly into Starscream's frame ignoring the small whimpers. Starscream clung frantically closer to the bot on top of him.

Oh Primus how Starscream hated him. He hated the way he made it so easy for him to come into overload.

Slowly the bot began to get up, disentangling himself from Starscream's limbs. He hated the way the bot made treason so easy for him.

Without a glance down at Starscream who still lay panting on the ground the bot turned and began to walk away.

He hated the way he would never look at him as the connected sparks—or after; and Primus he hated the way he made him feel.

Joors had passed since his hurried spark locking with his 'lover', and Starscream still lay in the same spot. His optics turned up towards the now much lighter sky. He hated to love him most all, but since he couldn't seem to stop, he'd settle for just hating himself for now.