Ruthie Camden lay on her bed in the room she shared with her sister Lucy. It was 8:00 on a Sunday night, and Ruthie knew she had homework to finish, but she couldn't bring herself to do any of it. This semester had been hard for Ruthie. At sixteen, things were changing for her, and she didn't feel like the same little girl she'd always been. She felt herself slipping further and further away from Mary, Simon, and Lucy, and that saddened her but she didn't know how to let them in. They'd always supported her in everything she did, but this was different. This was somehow bigger, more important.
Lucy knocked on the door and entered. She never used to knock since it was her room too, but she really respected Ruthie's privacy now that she was growing older. She really was a great sister in that way. Ruthie quietly greeted Lucy who looked at her with saddened eyes. She missed her little sister and how close they used to be. She knew some of this was typical teenage stuff and she'd tried to give Ruthie some space to come to her first, but it was hard seeing Ruthie so obviously struggling.
"What's up Ruthie? How's the homework?" Lucy asked with a smile. "Did you even start?"
"No," said Ruthie, flashing her a meek smile. "I probably should. I'm just thinking".
"Anything you want to talk about?" asked Lucy gently, trying not to pry.
Ruthie looked uncomfortable and said "No, not really. Nothing important."
Lucy sat down on the edge of Ruthie's bed. "Ruthie. If you're thinking it, it's important. And you can tell me. I'm your sister and I love you, and nothing will change that. I can tell you have something on your mind, and I want to help you. When you're ready to talk, I'll be here."
Ruthie looked like she so badly wanted to let Lucy in and finally not feel so alone, but she wondered if she could. She knew admitting what was going on would change everything for her, and she wasn't sure she was ready. On the other hand, holding this secret in was starting to wear on her.
"Promise you won't tell Mom and Dad?" asked Ruthie, nervously.
"Stays between us. Sisters first," said Lucy sincerely, rubbing Ruthie's hand.
"It's just that...I kind of have this crush…" said Ruthie, scared to reveal more.
"That's it? That's wonderful, Ruthie! You're so allowed to have feelings like this. Who's the lucky guy?"
"That's the thing Lucy…. it's a girl." Ruthie tensed up, anticipating her sister's reaction to this piece of information.
Lucy was quiet for a moment, but didn't freak out. "Oh, Ruthie. I can just imagine how you must be feeling right now. This is huge, and I'm so honored that you let me in. I love you SO much. Nothing could ever change that. It's so normal for girls your age to start having sexual feelings, and I couldn't care less if they're for a girl or for a boy. I just want you to be happy. You must have felt pretty alone".
"Yeah." Ruthie's voice wavered. "It's just that…this isn't supposed to happen. I didn't expect this or want this, but this is what's happening to me. Do you think Mom and Dad will hate me?"
"No, I don't. They love you just as much as I do. But you don't have to do anything you don't want to do yet, and for now I'm just really happy you told me. I don't want you to ever feel like you can't let me in. I will always support you. It's going to be okay."
"Thanks Luce." Ruthie breathed for what felt like the first time in years. It wasn't over, wasn't nearly over, but it was something, and Ruthie finally felt like she had someone on her side.