Always

Listen up, because I am going to say this once and ONLY once: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY OF ITS WORLDS OR CHARACTERS.

Chapter One

It was a few weeks into my sixth year, just a few days of nice weather left before autumn fell upon Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the harsh winter quickly in pursuit. It was the day – the day. The day I would apologize to Lily for what I had said earlier that year.

I wanted to apologize as soon as the word had slipped from my lips, but she wouldn't let me. The next day, she started avoiding me and she kept it up for the few weeks until school ended. Though we lived very close to each other, I hadn't spoken to her over the summer; she managed to always be "busy" whenever I came calling, her parents covering for her even when I could clearly see her distinctive red hair in the next room. Not even my pretend relationship with her sister, Petunia – horrible mistake, by the way – was enough to draw any sort of reaction from her. The one time I saw her at the park where we spent so much of our childhood, Potter, Black, and Lupin had decided to drop by for a visit, and any of them – all of them – would be all too happy to hex me for her, illegal or not. They were her protection on the Hogwarts Express,too, and at Hogwarts.

That was the worst thing that had happened because of my stupidity: Lily's new-found friendship with the self-proclaimed "Marauders".

It's all my fault, I thought, walking out of the castle. If I hadn't been so stupid, maybe I'd still have a shot.

Just then, a laugh caught my attention. I would always remember that laugh, recognize the little bubbly giggles. Always. I turned, and, sure enough, I caught sight of the flaming hair that would forever be seared into my memory. She was sitting on the Black Lake's little shore, holding a heavy book. Next to her sat a black haired boy who was playing with her hair.

"Stop it!" Her giggling voice drifted up to me, drawing me unconsciously towards her. "You promised to help me study."

Maybe I still have a chance, I thought, still walking towards her. She couldn't have been with any of the "Marauders"; none of them were smart enough to help her with anything even remotely related to academia – well, except for maybe Lupin, but he was blond – so this was my best opportunity to talk to her when no one would be there to stop me.

I ran a hand through my now-short black hair, trying to make the greasy strands appear fashionably messy.

"Why don't we go to the library? It's getting dark out here, and this is really bloody uncomfortable," she reasoned, turning to face her companion.

His response was to lift her up and drape her – squealing – across his lap, still running his fingers through that soft, luxurious... vibrant... hair... "Better?"

"Very comfortable," she agreed. "I'll have to use you as a chair more often – when you're actually helping me with Transfiguration."

He didn't respond, just kept stroking her hair. I was getting closer to them, about twenty feet away, when she attempted to pull her hair from his light grasp. "Do I need to chop this off, James? Because I will go shave my head his very second if you don't help me study for tomorrow's test. I have absolutely no problem with doing that."

"NO!" The boy yelled, voicing my thoughts as he flailed for her Transfiguration book. I would have screamed that, too, had she known I was listening. Lily, without her fiery locks... it was a nightmare image for me.

Then something hit me.

James... Potter. Potter. James Potter. She was on a first name basiswith James Potter? She was asking him for school help? She was sitting in his lap?

I'd never felt so disgusted – so betrayed – in my entire life.

"MUDBLOOD!"

I couldn't stop it from pouring out in my rage. She stiffened, as did Potter, wrapping his arms around her protectively. Where my arms should be.

"You little BITCH! You're messing around with HIM? My housemates are right – you are the most pathetic excuse for a witch that has ever walked the halls of Hogwarts! You are the stupidest, ugliest, most worthless MUDBLOOD I have ever had the misfortune of seeing!"