a/n-sooo it's been a while. but i've been wanting someone to write a fanfic using this song (Shadows and Regrets-Yellowcard, download it now it's the most amazing thing ever) buttt idk if a lot of people know this song or not..so i figured i'd just write one myself, though it's not good, i warn you. i just needed there to be a fic about this song or i was gonna go crazy haha. no flames please! - 3-Erin
---it's similar to my other fic The Town That You Live In, but there's a lot of differences. so enjoy!
Disclaimer: umm i don't own hannah montana? or the yellowcard's best song ever? that sucks.
Shadows and Regrets
I'm back, back in town
And everything has changed.
I feel, feel let down
The faces stay the same.
I see, see shadows
Of who we used to be
When I drive, drive so slow
Through our memories
I can't believe I'm back in Malibu. I moved to Long Island, New York when I was 16, leaving my best friends Lilly and Miley behind. I'm 18 now, fresh out of high school, and my parents decide we're moving back to Malibu. I didn't bother to keep in touch with anyone. New York's on the other side of the country, so I knew I'd never get to see anyone. Keeping in touch would just be too painful.
So I tried to forget everything and everyone, including the love of my life, Lilly Truscott. I had girlfriends in New York, but I always still had a thing for Lilly. I know I should have told her before I left, but what would be the point? I wouldn't have been able to continue a relationship with her when I lived a million miles away.
Anyway, I'm cruising around in my car, driving the familiar roads I still knew by heart. I can almost picture myself and Lilly climbing the tree fort and drawing with chalk on the sidewalks. I want to see Lilly, but I know she'll be mad at me. I had only talked to her a couple times after the move and I'd rather forget those conversations. Some things just change, I guess, and there's nothing you can do about them.
When we were only kids
And we were best of friends
And we hoped for the best
And let go of the rest
"Oliver?" Lilly opened the door to her house in disbelief.
"Lilly," I breathed upon seeing her face.
"Hi…"
"Lilly…I'm sorry for everything I did. I'm sorry. I just want to go back to the time when we were in elementary school and we were inseparable."
"I don't think it's that easy, Oliver…"
I heard, heard myself
Say things I'd take back.
If I could, could retell
And make these stories last
I see, see shadows
Of who we'll always be
When I drive, drive these roads
That made our memories
"Do you even remember what you said to me?"
"Yeah," I said. Of course I remembered. It's all I ever thought about. It was probably a month after I moved and I hadn't been returning her phone calls. Finally, I picked it up and told her to forget about be because I was gonna forget about her, without giving her any explanation whatsoever. I didn't want to go through the torture of having her live so far away and not getting to see her face everyday.
"Then why didn't you forget about me?"
"There's no way I ever could. We have too much history together…I hate myself for what I said. I was a terrible friend and I know it."
"Yeah you were."
"When I was driving here, I kept thinking of all the times we had together. The times I'll always remember. Like that day at preschool when you held my hand because you-"
"Wanted the 64-pack of crayons with the sharpener, yeah, I know, I know. I've thought of that too…"
"I just wish I could take back everything ass-like I've ever said to you and I want to go back to the old times.
When we were only kids
And we were best of friends
And we hoped for the best
And let go of the rest
The shadows and regrets
We let go of the rest
"Oliver, things have changed."
"But I don't want them to change. Why could we let go of everything when we were kids, but not now?"
"Because we're not kids anymore, Oliver! We were young and stupid, we didn't know any better than not to care about anyone but ourselves!"
"Lilly, things don't have to change. I regret everything I said, can't you forgive me?"
"I do forgive you, Ol, but things have to change. It's part of life."
Everything has changed
The faces stay the same
Everything has changed
The faces stay the same
"But why!"
"We're going to college in two months, Oliver! We haven't talked in two years and you just want to pick off from where we left off! I'm different now! You don't even know me!"
"You'll always be the same as you were when you were younger."
When we were only kids
And our time couldn't end.
And how tall did we stand
With the world in our hands?
"Lils, I remember when we thought we were on top of the world. We just hung out every day and thought we were the coolest people ever. The world was ours Lilly, don't you remember?"
"Oliver, of course I remember. But those are just memories. It's the past. And yeah, I'll always have those memories in my heart. I mean, I loved you-more than anything. I always did."
When we were only kids
And we were best of friends
And we hoped for the best
And let go of the rest…
"I loved you too Lilly. Why do you think I followed you around like a lost a puppy? And when we were 16, damn, I wanted you more than anything I've ever wanted in my entire life. You were just so amazing. That's why I would casually grab your hand as we walked or kiss you on the cheek goodnight." I recalled, taking her hands in mine.
"And I loved when you did that," Lilly whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. "But we were 16. I've grown up a lot since then, though it may not seem like it. And I love you, Ol, I always will. But I have a boyfriend, who I'm completely, head-over-heels, in love with. I'm sorry. I wish things could be different."
"They can be," I pleaded, squeezing her hands.
"They can't. We're going to different colleges. It's just gonna be you moving all over again, and I don't want to go through that."
"You're right," I finally sighed, letting her hands fall to her sides. "I'm sorry I put you through that. I guess I know how it feels now. Call me in four years?" I tried to smile.
"Please don't smile," Lilly whispered. "I can't fall in love with that lop-sided grin again," she kissed me on the cheek.
"Bye, Lil," I whispered back, loving the feeling of her lips on my skin. Lilly slowly walked inside, but came back out not a second later.
"Oliver," she walked back to me, tears brimming her eyes. I wiped them away with my thumbs. "I don't want to hurt you."
"I deserve to be hurt, Lil," I sighed. "I hope you and your boyfriend are really happy together," I told her sincerely. "If you chose him, I know he's a good guy."
"Thank-you," Lilly smiled through her tears, friendly pecking me on the lips and giving me the biggest hug in the world. I rubbed her back and we just stayed like that for a while, just like old times.
"I should get going," I released her.
"Yeah…" she agreed.
"Well…bye," I waved.
"Love you," she whispered.
"Love you," I repeated and got into my car.
The shadows and regrets
We let go of the rest.
The shadows and regrets
We let go of the rest…
a/n-soo cheesey, i know. and i'm not gonna say what i say about the ending on every one of my stories because everyone who knows me already knows what i'm gonna say. so mehh