author's note: hello all! to those of you who have read my stories before, i'm terribly sorry it took so long to write another! i've been going through some difficult times, and have just gotten back on my feet and have once again started to do what i love--write!! i plan to continue this story for something around ten + chapters, but not too long. it started as kind of a joke story, since it's so dramatic, but it slowly formed this--a real story (or i so hope, lol)! i hope you love it, and make sure to remember to review, good and bad! (but make sure it's constructive and not just rude, haha, nobody likes that!) i love you aaaall!

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Copper-auburn hair blew into Alaise's face, momentarily blinding her vision. Brushing her unruly curls away, she heaved a sigh. Of all the times, must he disappear at this one, on this day? Her brown eyes flicked westward, then east. She knew not why she continued to accept his blunders and mistakes. Alaise prided herself on what she thought to be a no-nonsense attitude towards betrayal and infidelity, yet she held on to the little sliver of hope she still had that he was still hers, and only hers. What nonsense, she told herself now. What had I been thinking all along?

Daydreams is all they were. She had always been the optimist, but felt her expectations of better-things-to-come slipping away like sand through her fingers. He would not come, she knew. He was probably in some broom cupboard, or vacant classroom, or watchtower, shagging some willing skank who only slept with him because of his looks and charm; it wouldn't be the first time he had strayed from her. Well, hey, his "looks and charm" had been enough for you. Mistake number one.

Twisting her hair into a bun, Alaise sat down on the frosted bench and wrapped her mantle around her, the Autumn winds blowing everything away except for her disappointment. She knew that, inside, she had known that this would not last the whole time. Blinded by her evanescent serendipity, she mistook his actions and words (or lack thereof) for love. God, how stupid could she be? She shook her head, a tear slowly carving a rivulet down her cheek. Never would she make the same dense, juvenile errors. Wiping away her tears, she brushed the hair back from her face and got up, heading back to Hogsmeade. Her face, and heart, hardened.

oOoOoOo

"Sirius Black, the rumours are true," she giggled into his ear. He did not remember her name, didn't find it important. He also couldn't find a reason to respond to her words; he already knew they were true, had been told more times than one. Still, it helped to hear it every more often than not, and he gave her a small smile before resting his head on her ample chest. Damn, he could pick them. Great body, dumb mind; it was the perfect combination of sex and no commitment.

His mind wandered. What day was it; Thursday, Sunday? He knew not, and frankly, didn't really care. Lessons, he could miss. Sirius racked his brain for anything important that he'd had to do today, though he found his eyes dropping, and gave in to his fatigue. The corners of his mouth turned slightly upward. His job was over, he'd done a damn good one, and now—now, he thought, he deserved the right to rest. Sirius fell into a deep sleep, his head on the breast of a girl whose name he couldn't recall.

oOoOoOo

Alaise tugged up her jeans, adjusting them as they molded to her form. Looking in the mirror, she brushed a hair aside. There was a shadow to her eyes that wasn't there before. She pondered whether he would even realize his mistake, whether he would even deny. Not looking forward to their coming meeting like she used to anticipate every time she awoke, Alaise toed down the stairs from the girl's dormitories into the Gryffindor common room. Sleepy students were beginning to emerge, yawning and rubbing at their eyes. Had she ever been that young, that innocent? She found it hard to believe, or at least settled on the fact that it had been taken from her early enough, Merlin knew. Sirius had seen to that. His charm. Her foolishness. It had been a lethal combination.

It wasn't that she was condemning Sirius to being heartless and wicked. No, he had feelings, so much was true. A thimbleful, but feelings none-the-less. He just also had more lust than was safe paired with a sexual appetite one woman alone would never be able to fulfill. An even more lethal combination, especially with his looks. Any woman with eyes was done for.

She sighed, and realized she had paused in the middle of the room. She would have asked herself why situations had a habit of turning awkward when one was thinking in a different place, but the answer to that was obvious. Alaise picked up her feet and heading towards the portrait for an early breakfast, when it swung open a few feet before she met it.

In stumbled a tousled-looking Sirius Black, hair ruffled and clothes just slightly disheveled, barely laying incorrectly to his body. Only she would notice. Not to mention they hadn't changed since yesterday. Speak of the devil, Alaise thought painfully as she squeezed her eyes shut for a brief moment, a sign of uncomfortableness which she had a habit of doing. Nobody who didn't know her better than she knew herself would realize what it meant. This included Sirius, as he was never one for observing and analyzing anything that weren't perky breasts or a pair of long, lean legs; those were the types of things that got him through boring lessons and aided him in failing exams, not barely noticeable blinks or twitches that might show a lack of confidence here or a hidden temper there.

Alaise proceeded to go through the portrait hole as Sirius's lips up curved into a sly grin, one of misunderstanding. "Tsk, tsk. Love, I knew you liked me but really, you mustn't come looking for me anymore. I guarantee I can look after myself. I am quite a big boy... But I find you might already know that bit, hmm?" He barked a carefree laugh and his eyes twinkled with mirth as he reached to her.

Her mind swirled when his arm curved around her waist. This was the reason why she put up with it for so long, she knew. It was the utter powerlessness that came over her whenever he touched her, something she couldn't control as his lips caressed over the soft skin of her throat like he actually had missed her presence. He never was one for hiding public displays of affection, she remembered with a titter. Sirius felt it on her throat and tilted his head slightly, his eyes boring reticently into her own, a ghost of a smile barely showing on his lips.

What was he thinking, she thought with a small smile of her own, still lingering from the loveliness of his kisses on her flesh. Of her, of their future? No, Sirius never thought of the future; he was one to live in the moment, without planning ahead (most often to his demise). Or, of all his conquests, of all the times he'd gotten away with it? Alaise's smile vanished; the muscles in her face clenched, and she found herself feeling nauseous even before a morsel had passed her lips; she knew she'd be eating no breakfast this morning. She twisted away from his strong arms and turned out of the portrait door into the cold, stone hallway. Alaise saw Sirius peripherally, standing with his arms at his sides, confused and alone. She liked that look, she found, as the Fat Lady swung closed on him with tart, "Hmph, it's about time you two moved so I could shut. You were blocking my way, and all the while letting the warm air out!"

oOoOoOo

Sirius rinsed any reminders of the prior day's escapades out of his hair, scrubbed off his skin the touches of the most recent concubine of the castle. His subconscious knew it was the only way he could live with himself as he continued his life as he did: meaningless, unscrupulous, and deceitful.

His conscious mind didn't think much of it, only that it was a ritual which he always followed after one of his exploits. Seduce, sex, sleep, shower, sleep. The five "S's" and Rules of Life to which he followed since the first time, though it hadn't been a good one, and back then he truly was showering to wipe away the memory of embarrassment. He soon got over it and realized he liked what he'd done... And hadn't stopped to look back since.

He let the hot water run down his body, warming his chilled skin on contact. Like a woman's touch, his mind offered up. Leaning against the wall, he let the warmth of it all seduce him on the cold, odd morning.

With time to think and nothing to distract from the thoughts he sought to push away, he recalled the encounter with Alaise early this morning. Something was off about her; at first she was receptive and willing to his advances, before suddenly becoming cold as ice; he was surprised he'd not gotten frostbite from touching her skin, then. She had stalked off; but to where? He'd not thought to follow her, figured it best to let her stew and get it out. Sirius never was one for emotional confrontations, least of all with angry women. He preferred to sneak off and avoid them instead, much to his lovers' dismays. After a history of disgruntled women, he learned when to flee, how far, and when to come out of his cowardly hiding.

Sirius smiled to himself as he turned off the shower. What could he say? He was much more partial to lustful women than livid ones. Tying his towel around his waist, he shook his hair in a dog-like manner, causing the water to run tiny rills down his chest and back. He didn't bother to dry them off, and ambled out of the washroom, feeling himself again now that his mind had wandered to subjects less somber. What was all that rubbish he'd been fretting about again? Now, there was good old, familiar Sirius again. A roguish grin spread fluidly across his elegant mouth; if someone had looked, though, and truly looked, they'd have found that the sparkle in the boy did not fully reach his eyes.

oOoOoOo

Alaise was not one for tears. She found them a pain in more ways than one. They were a sign of weakness, of women. Not that she wasn't feminine, she was all for that. It was that she detested of society's thinking of women to be weak, and unable to accomplish certain deeds because of their sex. When stupid girls ran down corridors blubbering hysterically, it showed that they weren't as strong as the man who could handle pain, hurt, or tough times because he took them without the tears. Not to mention that after a while of crying, it hurt your eyes like mad.

She cursed for allowing herself to cry. Viciously wiping aside the tears, Alaise picked up her pace through the trees. What if someone found her, crying, and approached her? She hated when people saw another person suffering and immediately thought they needed them, no matter if they were friends or not. Her hands shook faintly. Her mind hit the target she'd been trying to miss.

Sirius. She knew he'd been with another girl, when they were supposed to be meeting. But then again, she'd known that all along.

She had given in to him.

Damn you, Alaise.

He hadn't even cared, hadn't even made the connection that she should be worth more. One girl, here, one girl there, it didn't matter. She was just another toy. "Girlfriend" was meaningless to him; didn't it just mean she was a girl he got to shag repeatedly, while everybody else were one-night-stands?

It's your own fault, you silly girl, silly Alaise.

Alaise Minna von Clayton broke. She found her world falling around her, slipping at the edges and ripping at the seams. Her back was to a tall spruce for support, as she'd found she found no longer could support herself. The shaking from her hands worked it's way throughout her body, quaking her small frame. She wrapped her arms around her ribs, attempting to stop some of the pain. Head bent, she didn't realize as she slid towards the ground, her legs bent under her as the tears fell.

Sirius would never care for her, not like she cared for him. Why did she have to love him, when she knew there were others out there who could be so much more to her? Why did she have to be just as weak as the next brainless twit, falling for the player? For the "jocks" of the wizarding world, the players or heartbreakers?

The sun set, playing shadows across Alaise's face and throwing them across the frames of the trees. She didn't notice the time, only her inner agony, and slipped into an exhausted, dreamless sleep on a bed of leaves and dirt.

oOoOoOo

"Hi. Yeah, don't walk away from me! Have you seen Alaise?" Hadley challenged her year-mate, Midge Felkin, Ravenclaw. When she continued to walk away, Hadley pulled the stack of books out of her arms, much to Midge's dismay. "Now then, let's refresh your memory!" she said bravely as she levitated the books to an niche high in the wall. "Alaise? Seen her lately?"

"Can't say that I have, as I've been studying the whole day, as you so rudely interrupted me from."

"Well, thanks for nothing. I trust you can retrieve those books yourself, as you're such a smart wittle sixth year Ravenclaw, yeah? Awen't we? Awen't we?" Hadley mocked, making baby faces, before turning on her heel and walking out of the library.

Didn't anybody care where her friend had gone to besides herself? Hadley knew they weren't exactly the essence of popularity, but people noticed when their classmates went missing one day and then weren't in their beds that night. And then didn't show up for lessons the following morning.

Alaise wasn't extremely studious, but she'd never missed a lesson when it wasn't for a good reason (whether that was if she was sick or upset...or just needed a break from lessons), and Hadley knew she should be there for her!

Her boots stomped a pattern into the grass as she ventured outside. Hoping against all hope she didn't have to search too long out here in the cold, Hadley Blaise Tettlier zipped up her hoodie and continued her hunt for her best friend.

oOoOoOo

"Mmm, too bright." Alaise groaned quietly as a ray of sunlight hit her full on the face. Why was her head pounding like she'd been drinking?

Suddenly it all painfully rushed back to her, and she remembered where she was. It was also no small wonder why her back also hurt her, since she'd fallen asleep on rocks and leaves and dirt. What day was it?, she wondered, before finding she didn't really care at all whether or not she learned about the genocide of the Western Warlocks in 1672.

Alaise realized also she was painfully cold, since she'd been outside the whole night, and quickly gripped her wand with stiff fingers. Casting a spell to warm herself, she stretched and set off to find something to do that didn't involve thinking or involvement with people who probably didn't really care.

She painfully missed her horse, Sherlock, back at home, and wished that she could be with be with him. Whenever she had been upset as a young child, all she had to do was go to him and somehow, he always knew. There was some magic in her gelding, there was no point in denying that. Whether it was her type of magic or a sort of muggle magic that she couldn't explain, no one could say.

Having a sudden urge to drown her sorrows once and for all, Alaise stepped out of her clothing and dived into the icy waters of a small lake she'd come to. She had no intention of taking her own life, just of freezing it until it came back to it's senses...Her body shivered and she found her lips curving into an odd sort of smile. It felt good to be numb.

a/n: and sooo dramatically ends the first chapter of my lovely new story! please review, it means so much to me and makes me finish my second chapter just that much quicker! (: everything is welcome, so much as it is constructive or just plain loving, hahhah! much love!

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