A/N: I don't know why I'm writing this… I'm just kind of in one of those moods where I need to let my emotions flow. So, this is basically Spencer's thoughts and feelings during season 3b. I hope you guys like it, and I hope you also review. So… enjoy

Breaking Point

When she saw the parking pass, she almost passed out. There's more to the story, she told herself. He was the most honest person she ever met, and she didn't believe for one second that Toby was a part of the A Team. No way.

When she saw the hooded figure standing in her kitchen, she wanted nothing more than to break down and cry. When he turned around and she saw his face, she felt her heart shatter into a million tiny pieces. There wasn't much time for questions, but she never felt more lost and unsafe when she turned back around and he was gone.

He was in there, and she knew it. He was listening to her sob outside his door for hours. He knew she was hurting. And that was the moment she began to convince herself that one of the four people she trusted wasn't on her side.

Her friends immediately caught on to the fact that there was something terribly wrong with their driven, headstrong friend. Over the next week or so, her complexion became duller, her frame became more frail, and the bags under her eyes steadily got more visible.

She lashed out at people. Innocent people, who would ask her a simple question, and scurry away when she would glare and yell. She felt bad for doing so, but she had to do it to somebody.

Everyone thought she had reached her breaking point when she strangled Mona, who everyone thought was so innocent. Mona took everything away from her – her sanity, her happiness, the decathlon team, her friendships, and… him.

"Toby is A." That was the very first time she said those words, and it only made it seem more real. She would never forget the shocked facial expressions of Emily and Aria. She had already convinced herself that Toby really was the enemy, so her next goal was to convince her friends, especially Emily. She would not let them convince her Toby was only trying to help them, it would just make her break down all over again.

She reached her real breaking point when she saw the body in the woods. Toby was dead. Was he really on her side? Had he died trying to protect her? She didn't know what to believe anymore. She stayed up all night, wandering the woods, trying to get lost, not wanting anybody to find her.

She wasn't crazy. She knew she wasn't crazy. After all, she's still a Hastings, and Hastings know how to be in control. But she did know she had to find answers, and Radley seemed like the only possible solution. Mona had stayed there, her helper had been in and out. She could dig herself in deeper than she already was.

When Mona came to visit, she immediately knew why. When she heard Toby wasn't dead, she wanted to believe it, she wanted to hold onto it, but she knew she couldn't. She would only be disappointed. And she was so done with being disappointed. No way she wanted to join the A Team, but this wasn't about her. This was about protecting her best friends, and she'd go to the ends of the earth for their safety.

"Hi Malcolm, I'm Alison. I'm here to take you home," she said to the seven year old boy. Aria was right – he was adorable, and the guilt was eating away at her heart for what she was about to do. Aria was so going to kill her if she ever found out.

"Hanna got the job." His voice. She knew his voice anywhere. Toby was alive. The look on his face when he saw her almost killed her. He looked so… protective? Surprised? Hateful? She wanted to believe him when he said that what he was doing was only to protect her. Her heart believed him, but her mind kept saying no.

When they were on the bed, that's when she started to believe him. Toby wasn't evil. He loved her. Here he was, holding her like she was the most precious thing in the world, and she felt something in her chest. A feeling of hope. Hope, something she hadn't felt since that dreaded day she saw him in the hoodie. Hope felt good. Toby was back. She was in Toby's arms. She was safe. And whatever was to come the next day, they would go through it. Together.

Good? Bad? Loved it? Hated it? Review please, they make me smile.