Chapter One: Fireflies
The summer after the Battle at Hogwarts arrived in angry retribution of all the revelry. The sweltering heat cast a glowing haze across the parched lawn of the Burrow. The temperatures were unbearable within the stifling walls of the house, so the Weasleys and their guests passed the time outdoors, huddled in the shade of a tree or cooling off with a breezy game of Quidditch. Hermione, however, had taken to walking alone along the garden's edge, amused by the gnomes scurrying between the shady, overgrown plants. She had many thoughts to sort out...
For more than a week after the Battle of Hogwarts, her greatest emotion was undiluted, all-consuming elation. She had never desired anything more in her life than victory over Voldemort with her, Ron, and Harry all coming out alive. Her life felt open and free, her future as bright as the glaring sun beyond the Burrow. It was as if she'd never fully realized the extent of the pain and suffering his regime had caused because she had not known the happiness that accompanied his defeat. Now that he was vanquished, however, it was as if the world had opened up again. Happiness flooded into her every pore from the simplest of things, while every minor drawback suddenly became much more manageable.
Yet there were the things she had not factored into her biggest dream. She had not anticipated the deaths of Lupin or Tonks, especially so soon after the birth of their son. It had not crossed her mind that Fred would lose his life, and it had certainly not occurred to her the extent to which Ron would feel this loss. It was all clear now, of course--painfully clear. The Weasley home was oddly hollow without the energy the twins generated when together. The walls were suffocating under the depressing cloud of grief, even without the heat. Their happiness was muted by these unnecessary casualties, as if the sense of joy could not penetrate the thick, humid air.
Hermione was grateful, though, that Ron had not qithdrawn from her in his grief. They had not yet found a good moment to finish what they'd started back in the pile of dropped Basilisk fangs, but she would wait. She'd waited for years for the right moment, so what would a few weeks matter? In the meantime, it was just as exciting when he held her hand under the dinner table, just as exhilarating when they'd walk arm-in-arm across the moonlit lawn, as thrilling to embrace him tightly and breathe in the smell of his hair as it was to kiss him.
Despite the newfound contentment in their relationship, Hermione ached with longing for her parents. The betrayal she committed and the guilt derived from it still dug at her soul. She wanted to know they were still alive and well, but more than that she wanted to lift the memory charms so they were even aware of her existence. She wanted to hug her father and kiss her mother and let loose in the freedoms of not having to care, of having people there to do all the caring for her. But where to begin? She could not safely use any magical means of transportation in such an unfamiliar location. Her savings was diminished, and certainly not enough to pay for the plane ride and lodgings needed to get to Australia.
So here she was, standing beside a garden infested with gnomes, in such sweltering heat that even Crookshanks was not exerting himself with a hunt. All these conflicting emotions left her in an incredibly uncomfortable state of mind. Her thick hair had doubled in size with the humidity and was drawn up and harnessed off her shoulders, though the stray curl or five teased the corners of her eyes. She tried to restrain one of them when the sound of footsteps forced her to abandon her attempt.
Ron and Harry were approaching, their gaits jerky as they lazily steadied their way down the sloping lawn.
"Oh good, Mum already told you," said Ron when they arrived.
"Told me what?" Hermione responded promptly.
"We're degnoming the garden," he and Harry replied together as they crossed into the dense greenery.
Hermione felt an uncharacteristic twinge of dislike for Mrs. Weasley but quickly ignored it, blaming her shorted patience on the heat. She followed the others into the vegetable patch and began to work, listening only halfheartedly as the other two discussed various aspects of Quidditch. She snatched a gnome from beneath a creeping vine of squash, spun it, and chucked it in hopes to quell her frustration.
Ron and Harry turned to her in shock.
"Hermione," Ron said. "I thought you didn't approve of throwing them that hard?"
She'd almost forgotten. Any other time they'd tried degnoming the garden with her, she would give the pest a little swing and just sort of toss it over the hedge. She'd incurred many bites that way, and therefore did not usually participate.
"I just...Well, it doesn't hurt them, right? They just get dizzy."
Ron looked at her suspiciously, a gnome held by the ankle in his hand. Sensing an escape, the creature bit him sharply, leading to its immediate release. the three continued working as Ron cursed. It was both easier and harder to degnome in the heat. Easier, because the gnomes were sluggish and less likely to put up a fight--harder because the heat was exhausting.
The three of them sat sipping chilled pumpkin juice in the shade of the hedge was the hotter noon hours approached.
"Andromeda is visiting later today," Harry said, his voice somewhat hollow. "She's bringing Teddy."
Hermione looked at him thoughtfully; Ron only let out a small sound of acknowledgement as he was in the process of falling asleep.
"Harry," Hermione breathed. "You're going to be a wonderful godfather. You don't have to be nervous about holding a baby. You were fine at the funeral..."
"It's not Teddy, Hermione," he said back, staring blankly off into the distance. "It's Andromeda. What am I going to say to her? I hardly got to talk to her at the funeral because there were so many other people around, but now..." He trailed off and Hermione found herself frustrated that he would not meet her eye.
Hermione flopped to the grass and closed her eyes. "You don't have to say anything, Harry. It wasn't your fault and she knows that. She's coming to show you her grandson, your godson, not to receive an apology."
He said nothing.
With a deep breath, eyes still shut tightly, Hermione changed the subject. "I'm going to go find my parents soon. I don't know how, exactly, but I've got to. I really miss them."
"Yeah?" came Ron's muffled voice from beside them. Apparently he hadn't been sleeping too deeply. "When?"
"As soon as I can afford the plane ticket," she replied indifferently
"Plane ticket?" She heard him sit up beside her.
"Yes, Ron, plane ticket," she answered, sitting up as well.
"Couldn't you just Apparate to wherever they are?"
"No," she replied, trying to maintain her patience. "I can't just Apparate to the middle of Australia; I have no idea where I'd end up. Plus, if I were to miraculously land right where my parents are, it would be a serious breach of secrecy, as they are Muggles, who don't know they have a witch for a daughter."
"Oh yeah. They don't know they have a kid at all, do they? I almost forgot," replied Ron casually. He lay down in the grass again, eyes shut, oblivious as Hermione stiffened. With an angry scoff at his insensitivity, she too fell back upon the grass.
"What does it matter?" she muttered. "It'll be forever before I have the money to start searching for them..."
There was a long pause between the three of them.
"Here," Ron finally whispered, quietly enough that Harry (who appeared to be deep in thought, or sleep) didn't hear. His hand bumped hers and she looked sideways over at him. "It's all I've got right now, but it's a start, right?"
In his hand were two Knuts and a Sickle.
"Oh, Ron, I..."
"Just take it. It's alright. I'll be helping George out at the joke shop soon. It's been closed for weeks, so I'll be getting it back on its feet, now that Fr--" He stopped and changed course. "Well, I'll be making a few extra Galleons, won't I? And...and you're welcome to whatever you need to go find your parents again."
Hermione felt a strong wave of tenderness for Ron wash over her, reddening her cheeks, forcing her to smile. Her heart beat a little faster and she had a very strong urge to sit closer.
"I...I don't know what to say..."
He pressed the coins into her hand and did not let go.
"Thank you," she whispered, still beaming at his chivalry. Ron grinned sheepishly. She wondered vaguely if this was the moment, but was interrupted when Harry suddenly spoke. They're hands broke apart as she jumped.
"Hermione, how did you say you were getting to Australia?"
He didn't seem to have been listening. Perhaps he had dozed off momentarily in the shade, or was consumed in his thoughts about Teddy. It wouldn't be the first time he'd been completely unaware of her and Ron's conversations. Hermione answered his question with subdued bitterness.
Harry coughed a little. "Well, I...I was just thinking. It's my fault you had to go through all of that in the first place. The next time we're at Gringotts, I promise I'll get you your ticket and anything else you need paid for. You can be back in England with them by the end of this month."
The offer was tempting. Hermione was silent, looking pleadingly to Ron whose face had darkened slightly. Harry had apparently been expecting an immediate 'yes', and sat up when he did not hear one. Ron nodded and gave Hermione an insincere grin.
With her eyes still on Ron, she said, over her shoulder to Harry, "Umm...yes. Yes, thank you, Harry. That...that would be wonderful."
Mrs. Weasley's voice broke out across the yard, calling them back to greet their guests. Ron was the first to stand and the three of them traipsed across the wide lawn. Hermione caught up to Ron and tried to give him back the coins.
"Keep it," he muttered jerking his hand back.
They stepped into the foyer and were met by Ginny, who was carrying a small, dozing baby with brilliant red hair.
"Say hi," she whispered, turning so the others could see his face.
Harry stopped in his tracks and Ginny approached. With a sly grin, she passed Teddy into the arms of his godfather. Hermione edged over beside Ginny and the two of them smiled at each other while Ron stood awkwardly off to the side. Harry seemed to feel quite out of place with a baby in his arms. His arms were tense, his expression strained. Hermione wondered vaguely if he'd ever held a baby.
"You have to relax," Ginny soothed. "You'll stress Teddy out if you stress out. They can sense that."
He looked up and made to hand Teddy back to Ginny, clearing his throat uncomfortably.
"I'll take him," Hermione said quietly. She lifted the child's warm form from Harry's arms, settling him comfortably in the crook of her arm. He sighed cutely and Hermione swelled with affection, beaming brightly down at him and swaying slightly from side to side.
"Andromeda is in the sitting room," Ginny whispered, leaning gently into Harry's side and intertwining their fingers. She led the way into the other room where Mrs. Weasley and Andromeda Tonks were sitting side by side on the sofa, chatting. Hermione took the big armchair and Ron perched on the arm, leaning in to look at Teddy.
"He's..." Ron gave a small cough. "He's really cute."
Hermione looked up at him, still smiling broadly. "Would you like to hold him?"
"Well," He coughed again. "I-I don't...nah, you're doing great. He's fine right where he is, isn't he? Hey look, his hair's changing color!"
Hermione looked down, and as Teddy's eyes flickered open his mop of red hair slowly changed to a dull brown. He peered up at Hermione with his searching blue eyes, yawned, and fell back asleep.
"Oh, now, isn't this a pretty picture?" Mrs. Weasley said to Andromeda, clapping her hands together.
Ron and Hermione looked up to see Ron's mother beaming at them, her hands clasped. Ginny laughed and Ron turned scarlet.
"Mum..." he groaned quietly. "Knock it off..."
Hermione too felt a blush creeping to her cheeks. She rose from the armchair and jerked her head at Ron.
"Have a seat, Ron. It's your turn to hold Teddy."
"But--"
"Don't be silly. You've held a baby before, I'm sure. You have a huge family and there's bound to be a baby somewhere."
"Yeah, but that was years ago, and it threw up on me!"
She gave him her best bossy look and he edged off the arm and into the chair. Hermione bent down and gently transferred the babe to Ron's outstretched arms. He leaned back into the depths of the chair and let out a nervous sigh.
"Where'd you learn to hold a baby, then?" he asked in a harsh whisper. "You're an only child!"
"Oh for goodness sake, Ron, my parents and I did not just fall into being. My parents had parents, and therefore I have aunts and uncles and cousins."
He did not respond, choosing instead to look at the mass in his arms. The tender look Ron wore as he looked down at Teddy brought another smile to her face. The others were talking quietly amongst themselves, but Hermione did not bother to listen in. It took quite a bit of self control for her to avoid thinking too far into the future. She held out a finger, pressing it lightly to Teddy's hand. He gripped it firmly, slowly opened his eyes, and looked to Ron. The baby's forehead was creased in comic consternation.
A few moments passed before Teddy's mouth fell open in a miserable wail.
"Take it!" Ron said, as if suddenly frightened. "Hermione, do something! Take it!"
Andromeda broke away from the sofa at once and swooped down to her grandson.
"He's hungry," she said softly, her kind eyes looking down at Ron and Hermione, completely calm despite the bawling baby over her shoulder.
"I can feed him," Harry blurted, standing abruptly from where he and Ginny had perched. "I want to do it."
\\*//
Andromeda and Teddy stayed through dinner before the Weasleys, Hermione, and Harry bade them farewell. Evening approached quickly, bringing with it a refreshing cool. Hermione sat on the front steps, watching Crookshanks bat at the fireflies. Moths and mosquitoes buzzed by the porch light. She had hoped her mind would clear itself out here in the silence, but it seemed to be the perfect breeding place for thoughts...
Her head swam with images of the future. Would she find her parents again? What would her seventh year Hogwarts bring now that there was no foreboding presence to deal with and she, Ron, and Harry could focus just on schoolwork? Would she and Ron last the year? Would they last longer? Would marriage be a possibility? Would children be present years from now? Would that 'pretty picture' Mrs. Weasley had been so delighted by become a reality?
But of course it was silly to think that far ahead. Or was it? Perhaps it was, when Voldemort was still out there and whether or not they would all come out alive was uncertain. Butn ow the entire world was split open like a buffet of possibility. So why did it seem unreasonable to think about a future with Ron? Because she was not used to this freedom of opportunity? She'd convinced herself last summer to expect and prepare for the worst; she had not given the future a second thought.
Her thoughts were interrupted when the front door opened behind her. Ron stepped out and sat beside her on the stoop without a word. In silent greeting, she leaned against him, setting her head on his shoulder and wrapping her fingers in his. The sun had just set and a chorus of crickets had broken into song. The fireflies danced around them, innumerable across an expansive grass field in the distance.
Not sure what was motivating her, Hermione stood slowly, tugging gently on Ron's hand, leading him into the concert of the night. As they walked, more lightning bugs flew up around them, swirling around their heads before drifting into the dark oblivion.
"So when you've got the money from Harry, I expect you'll be off as soon as possible?" Ron asked quietly.
Hermione looked up at his shadow of a face.
"Ron, if...if you don't want me to take it from him, I won't." He made no reply so she continued. "And I don't need to borrow any money from you, either, if it's a hardship. I would just have to wait until after N.E.W.T. year when I can get a proper job and start saving..."
There was a tense pause.
"No, Hermione," Ron finally said. "I know you want to see your parents again. I just want you to be happy. It doesn't matter how it happens. You should...you should find them as soon as you can, right? The fastest way would be to let Harry help. It's what I would do if it were me..."
They had stopped walking and turned to face each other. Fireflies skipped around them, briefly illuminating their faces for each other to see. She gripped his hand tightly, smiling faintly up at him. He was so selfless, so sweet, so kind...Her heart was beating rather fiercely, the tall grass hissing around their legs, joining in with the cricket's harmonious chirps. Hermione reached up to his face, brushing a stray lock of hair from his eyes. With a push of her toes, she rose to eye level, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and gently pressed her lips to his.
It was a different kind of kiss than all those weeks ago. The world seemed to slow down. There was none of the desperate passion of a first (and possibly last) kiss. It was slow, and easy, and whimsical in thel ightshow of fireflies and moonbeams. It was both sweet and breathtaking, simple and incredible. When they broke apart, it felt perfectly natural to lean against him, staring out over the yard in silence, looking up at the starry night sky.
"What do you think it'll be like?" Hermione whispered. "To have a school year where nothing terrible happens?"
"It'll be pretty boring, I expect," Ron replied with a nonchalant tone. "You'll keep yourself occupied though, I'm sure, studying for those N.E.W.T.s. Aren't you taking, like, twelve?"
She elbowed him playfully.
"Eight," she chuckled. "Just eight."
"Right, right...only eight."
"How many are you taking?" Hermione asked snidely.
She felt him tense and she looked up at him. Ron was avoiding eye contact, trying to look busy in an attempt to catch one of the glowing bugs one-handed.
"Ron..."
"What?" he asked stupidly.
"How many N.E.W.T.s are you taking?"
"Oh, uh..." He cleared his throat. "Hermione, look...Harry and I have been talking. We...well, school has always been your thing, you know? We don't really feel like...like that's what's for us. George needs help with his joke shop, Hermione, and--"
"I thought you were just going to help him this summer!" she whispered harshly, his words falling over her like cold water.
"It's going to take longer than that to get the shop back on its feet again, and after that, who knows? But Hogwarts isn't in the picture for me, or Harry. Kingsley's asked for his help getting the Auror department back up and running, so he'll be busy there. We don't want to go back to school, Hermione...I'm sorry..."
All of her retorts were choked off somewhere in her throat.
"You'll still have Ginny...and Luna. And you know there's always Hagrid," Ron muttered guiltily.
"Will you write to me?" Hermione said sharply, the only proper sentence she could form.
"Yeah, of course," he replied, though its sincerity was debatable.
She glared at him suspiciously.
"I mean it! Every day if you want..."
They stood silently, Hermione soaking in this new information as she leaned against him again. She'd assumed they were going back to school together, but she should have seen it coming. Ron was right; school was her thing, not his, and not Harry's. But the idea of returning without them made her sick to her stomach.
A lightning bug hovered languidly in front of her. She locked her eyes to it and followed its trail. It was catching up to another of its kind, and when united they flew away as a perfect pair, headed for the midnight blue sky. Watching them buzz away, she suddenly felt a sinking feeling in the middle of her chest, right over her heart. They were lucky, she thought bitterly, only averting her eyes when the firefly couple had disappeared into the lightshow they and their fellows performed. They were lucky to have the freedom to be together. They could live in the now, no need to worry about the future.
Jealous of their liberty, Hermione tightened her hold on Ron's fingers, wishing they could follow the firefly's example. But things were different. There was business to attend to on both their accounts, him with George and the joke shop, and her witha seventh year at Hogwarts...without him.