Prologue

Tracy is talking

I remember the day after Mel found out that I was stealing, doing drugs and cutting. She took out the razor blades out the bathroom and watched my shave my legs. She told me that I was going away to treatment center to get better. Mel didn't know that still I hung out with some old crowd. I still smoked and hid very well from her. Noel and Yumi barley speak to me now that everything came out. Birdie and Kayla still live with us. Birdie doesn't speak me to me or will allow Kayla to be near me which hurts. Brady still with us every though I told her I didn't like him there.

That summer

I finished school June on 20th and when I got home I was all packed and ready to the center. She didn't know that still I talked to Evie. When we got there my mom went to the desk.

"I'm here to check in Tracy Freeland." They showed to my room and told me the rules

No boys

No smoking

No drugs

No sharp objects

They searched my suitcase and took my away my smokes. They said lights out my 9. They would stiff penalties if I broke the rules. I watched Mel and Mason drive away how could she do this to me. When I got to my room I saw redhead she turned to took at me.

"Who are you? So did they throw you or leave you here."

"I'm name is Tracy my mom left me here."

"I'm Ruth Ann. I've been here for a while. The reason I haven't left is because refuse to talk about why I'm here." The next day I meet Dr. Lambert my therapist.

"Hello Ms. Freeland. Please have a seat." I sat on the couch nervously could I tell her why I'm here. I told her a little bit.

"I cut because I hurt inside. My mom promised me and my brother that Brady wouldn't be staying with us. 2 days later he's still here. She walks around like everything is fine but it's not."

"Did you try to tell now you felt?"

"No she thinks he's the good guy when we all know he's bad." Tracy had a flashback to when she and Evie were play fighting.

Flashback

Hit me harder. I can't feel anything." Evie hit her causing Tracy to hit her head. Evie tried to wake her as Melanie called them to Dinner but Tracy wouldn't get up. She went to the top and stairs and yelled down at Mel

"We're not hungry." She called K.K and Nicole who had a car. A couple minutes later they showed up and helped Evie get her the car. They drove to the hospital and when they there Evie ran in.

"We need held my friend hit her head and wont wake up.

"What's her name?"

"Tracy Reed." They brought in the ER and hooked her to the IV. She stared to seizure and the doctor when the waiting to find out more.

"Was she on something?"

"She was huffing computer duster." The doctor gave her something to make her feel better. When she woke up her she was in her room wondering that what happened.

"Evie what happened?"

"Remember then you told me to hit her harder and I did. You were hurt quite bad and we had to take to the hospital. They were hoping that after 2 hours no one would knew that were gone and ask what went down. I walked out and Mel took at me.

"What happened to your lip? I saved you some food."

"I bit it."

Tracey had another flashback to the day they dropped back off to live with Brooke.

I followed Evie outside and saw her cry it broke my heart to see her liked that. I actually loved her and not like a sister. I wanted to talk to her and hold her. The reason I walked away was I didn't know what to say to her. The ride her home I tried to not cry ever though my heart hurt. That night I snuck out to Evie's house and she saw and ran out.

"I can't talk here. Meet me in the park in 10 minutes." When I saw her again I ran to her and hugged her she pushed me away and started to cry again.

"Don't cry. I'm sorry for leaving you alone. It wasn't my choice."

"You don't get it my life if fucked up being with Brooke. I like being with you and Mel because I was safe. I love you Trace. She kissed this time it wasn't teaching me. We sat on the grass holding each other. I thought everything was fine. When we got the school things were the same. When school was over she drove away leaving me alone again. If she really loved me why was she doing this? The day that Evie and Brooke showed up she told me she loved me and I was her girl. My heart ached when Brooke said they moving away and I wouldn't see her anymore. The night before she went away she knocked on my window and slowly kissed on the lips and gave me a note

Dear Tracy

I'm sorry fore getting you in the drugs and other stuff. The day I blew you off I did that because anyone to know that I loved you. You were my first person to care about me. My new address is the bottom of the letter. Trace when I said you'll always by my girl I meant. I got a new cell number is 555-2335.

Love Evie

I had a girlfriend now could I tell my mom was gay and that I was going out with Evie. She would never let me date her even if was happy. First she could call Brooke and they would get into another fight.

The therapist looked at with a weird look.

"Are you ok?"

"Just thinking about stuff."

"You want to talk about it." Could I tell her Evie and us being together?

"The person I loved moved away."

"So that makes me feel sad."

"It does make sad because be with them." Should I say tell her more about the one I love?

"When you were with them did they get you into bad behaviors?"

"You can say that." I couldn't tell her that Evie got be into everything expect for the cutting."

"How did they make you feel?"

"Like someone cared about me."

"How could care for him if couldn't about or yourself and your mom."

"You don't understand." How dare she talk like about Evie like that? I got up and walked out the door.

"We'll talk more tomorrow." I got another later from Evie after I told her I was here

I heard you want to a treatment center. I hope you're the only one to read this latter. I miss you so much. I want kiss you. Being alone sucked. Brooke barley notices me and left me here all alone. I still wish I could move with you and Mel. I dream about your lips, your hot body and us being together every night. I got a letter from Astrid she talked how guys hang out.

Love Evie

Tracy lay in bed thinking about that night she become Evie's girlfriend. The first time I was with a man I didn't feel something but when got on top of Evie I knew was in love. She was first person I ever kissed. I felt a little weird that I "liked" a girl. 2 days later. We made out when Mel was gone. When I woke up things got back to being fucked up. I wanted to cut that morning but I know I couldn't

The next day

I had group this time I was me and bunch of girls talked about why they were all here. The doctor that was holding was the group turned to me.

"Ms. Freeland tell everything why your here."

"My name is Tracy. I'm here because I drink, did drugs and hurt everyone around with my behaviors." No one knew how much I was hurting inside and how the drugs seemed to make me feel better. The doctor went on talking how we're gonna learn how to get better and deal with our problems. The girls went around telling what they were doing to improve themselves. Then they I was my turn I didn't know what to say.

"I talk to people about how I'm feeling instead of holding it all in and then cutting. They all clapped it made me feel better that people would listening to me

Should I write more?