A/N: Spamano oneshot. Yes, I know tango is an Argentinian dance, but its pretty common in Spain, too. Read and review.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

Teach Me To Tango
A Lily By Any Other Name

"Fuck no."

Lovina glared fiercly at the green-eyed Spaniard. The idiot was just standing there with a stupid smile on his stupid face as if that would convince her otherwise. Antonio was so oblivious to his own stupidity; he'd forgotten the first rule- yes, she'd made a list- of this, ahem, relationship: Lovina does not dance. Not the waltz, not the flamenco, not in a ballroom, not in a club, and certainly not the tango. He wasn't even freaking Argentinean- he was a fake-ass Spanish idiota. Lovina does not dance, and that is final. Nothing more to say on the matter. Zip. Zero. Nada. Yet he was still there, and trying to convince her.

"But it's a party-"

"And?"

"There's gonna be wine-"

"I get drunk by myself."

"That's not true-"

"Yes, it is!"

"Pleeeeeeeeease, querida-"

"I'm not your querida! Whatever that even means-"

"It means 'dear' in Spanish-"

"I don't know fucking Spanish!"

"Lovinaaaaaaaa."

"Fuckface."

"It's just a dance at a party."

"I don't dance."

"You've never tried!"

"I don't want to."

"I can teach you-"

Lovina froze. How dare this idiot assume she didn't know how to tango? Well, technically, she didn't. She'd just seen it on TV a few times, and thought it was cheesy and stupid. But she wasn't going to let him know that.

"What makes you think I don't know?" She snapped. "I know how to dance that stupid dance! I just don't like it because it's, uh, stupid! Yeah, it's stupid! It's stupid, and I'm not a snobby Argentinean, and you're Spanish, and I don't want to!" She stamped her foot, and crossed her arms over her chest. If looks could kill, Antonio would be dead right now (or so she thought).

Antonio blinked.

Lovina smirked, and plopped back on to the unmade bed.

"Great!" Antonio beamed. "I don't have to teach you now! Pick out a pretty dress, okay? I'll be back in a bit."

Lovina watched with dismay as Antonio left their shared bedroom. Okay, what now? Her stupid pride hadn't let her ask for tango lessons, and she sure as hell wasn't willing to make herself look stupid at this fancy-schmancy party they were invited to. She could care less what the guests would say, but she could never let herself live it down. None of this would have happened happened if Antonio wouldn't have stood there, and made stupid puppy faces with his stupid green eyes, and his stupid little smile. Ugh, that zoccola. She'd make him pay for this later...

"Antonio?"

"Si?" He peered back into the bedroom. Lovina took a deep breath, got off the bed, and prepared herself. "What's wrong, amor?"

"Teach me to tango."

Lovina grumbled as she put her hair up in a ponytail. Her legs already ached, and all she'd done so far was stretch. The stupid dance shoes she was wearing were making her feet hurt; she wasn't used to wearing heels. She left that sort of shit to Feliciana- her little sister. Feliciana would have taken this opportunity the moment it was presented. She was annoying, talkative, spacey, and liked this sort of stuff. Unfortunately, though, Feliciana's husband was a potato-eating bastard with a stick shoved so far up his ass that Lovina was pretty sure it poked his brain. Lovina sighed, and paced out to the middle of the room where Antonio was standing.

"You ready?"

Lovina nodded, and refused to make eye contact with him. He crossed to the stereo, and pressed a button. Loud tango music filled the air. Lovina wrinkled her nose. Antonio walked back to her, and gently placed his hand on her waist. Slowly, he made her lean into him, and-

"The hell are you doing?!" Lovina exclaimed, and shoved him away. "Get off me!"

"It's the tango embrace, Lovina," Antonio laughed. "It's the starting pose. Here, just lean into me... There."

His right arm wrapped around her, and his warm hand was centered on her back between her shoulder blades. He lifted his left hand. Lovina began to copy him, but he slapped her hand away.

"No, no," He shook his head. "You put your right hand in my left. Lift your right leg."

Lovina narrowed her eyes. Lifting her leg? That sounded kinky. She slowly tried to put her leg up on his shoulder, but he gently set it down, and bent it at the knee. It rested against his own. Lovina blushed. Antonio took a slow, languid stride forward with his left, and rocked his weight forward with it. She clutched at his hand, and clumsily stumbled into him as she tried to copy his move. She stepped on his foot, and glowered. There was already sweat breaking out on her forehead.

"I lead with my left, and you follow backwards with your right," He took another step forward. Lovina slowly stepped back. "Slow, slow, quick, quick. Rock your weight back with each slow step."

Lovina stepped back with her right again. Then with her left. And then back with her right. Antonio led her right- her left- and moved his feet together. Lovina mirrored him, and then looked up at him. She scowled when his green eyes met her brown ones, and resumed to look back down at her black shoes. Lovina thought she was doing well, and that it was clearly time for her to end her lessons. She hated having to ask him for help; she did not need any one to help her. That was the culmination of their relationship- if it could even be called that. Was it a relationship when she stayed at his house for a weeks, and then to not answer when he called? Or to eat all his food then leave without a word the morning after they made love? Sometimes, Lovina wished she had something similar to what Feliciana had with the potato-eating bastard. It was disgustingly cute, but it was permanent. Her sister had been so happy on her wedding day. Lovina didn't have the heart to tell her that she didn't think it would last long. But she was wrong- it did. Five years later, and Feliciana and Ludwig were still happily married, and starting a family, and Lovina sometimes wished for that.

"There!" Antonio beamed at her. "You've got it! Don't slouch, keep your head up, shoulders back, and feel the music. You're great, Lovina. Isn't this fun?"

But Antonio didn't seem to mind.

"You stepped on my toes!" Lovina pouted as they turned counter-clockwise. "Some tango teacher you are!"

So this was fine.