this is a parody. Hopefully you laugh.
I was only ? years old, I loved Steam so much, I had all the steam sweg, I prayed to Steam every night before bed and I thank it for the sales I have been given, "Steam is love, Steam is life" I say, my dad hears me and calls me an elitest.
I knew he was just jealous to my devotion to steam, I called him a "Peasant", he slaps me and sends my to buy some xbox games I am laughing now, but my face hurts.
I'm still laughing and it's really cold, A warmth is moving towards me, I feel something touch me.
It's Steam! I'm so happy, He whispers in my ear "This is my wallet", he grabs my wallet with it's saley sale hands... I'm ready. I open my wallet for Steam, he pulls out the money, it hurts so much. But I do it for the games, I can feel my money disappearing as my games start to appear, he roars a mighty roar as he fills my libary with his games, my dad walks in. Steam looks him in straight in the eye and says "it's all sold now." He flies out my window into the summer for his mighty sales.