A/N: I'm pretty sure I've read a fic like this before (not Rivetra) but I can't remember what ship or even what fandom so… idea likely does not belong to me. This is just a silly little fic; don't take it seriously. :p
"So," Hanji coos, "were you ever planning to tell me about your hot new roommate?"
Levi doesn't spare his study partner a glance as he punches a few buttons on his calculator and scribbles an answer down on his paper. "Should I have?"
"Well, of course." Hanji looks ready to start in on the insinuations any moment so he speaks before they begin.
"We're not sleeping together, Hanji."
"Are you sure?"
"Pretty damn positive."
"Not even once?"
"No, now shut the fuck up about my roommate and tell me what you got for number sixteen."
.
"I can't believe you never mentioned you were sleeping with a hot older guy, Ral!"
Petra groans at the sound of her friend's voice and looks up into Rico and Anka's devious expressions. "We're in a library; can you speak any louder?" When they shake their heads and pin her with explain now looks, she sighs and pushes her book aside, leaning forward and lowering her voice when she speaks. "I'm rooming with him, not sleeping with him. There's a major difference, guys."
"But you have to be," Rico points out. "You'd have told us last month then, when you found a new roommate, that he was a guy."
"We're just friends."
Anka tuts. "Nuh-uh, you can't just be friends with someone two years older and that good-looking."
"He's not good-looking; he always looks pissed off."
"He's still pretty hot. Better-looking than most guys our age, anyway." Rico studies Petra's face and frowns. "You're really not sleeping with him?"
"For God's sake, no," she sputters. "Levi's my friend. That's it. I don't like him that way."
"How disappointing," Anka sighs.
.
"Is is true?"
"Is what true?"
Eren Jaeger widens his bright green eyes in a look of innocence and Levi tries his best not to glare; he told the freshman he'd help him get through his next calculus exam, not play games of fifty fucking questions.
"That you're dating Petra?"
"And how the fuck do you know Petra?"
"She helps me with history." The boy rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. "She's nice. I heard you were rooming with her. Are you guys dating?"
"No," Levi snaps. "We're not dating."
"Ah." Eren nods. "So… friends with benefits?"
"We're not fucking, for the love of—look, do you fucking want to pass calculus or not?"
.
"But if you guys aren't having sex, then how'd you start rooming together in the first place?"
Petra kicks Auruo under the table and he yelps, rubbing his shin and shooting her a dark look. She smirks to herself and takes a slow sip of her chai latte, leaning back in her chair with a satisfied sigh.
"Seriously," Auruo says. "He's two years older than us. You don't just randomly room with a guy you're not related to who's two years older."
"He put up an ad for a roommate; I applied and he agreed," she tells him, because it doesn't seem like he's going to relent anytime soon. "We worked out rent and everything. Are you done?"
"But I've met him," Auruo says, his brow furrowed as he tries to puzzle things out. "He's not very friendly and…" He props his elbows on the table and says very quietly, "Petra, you're okay, right?"
She can't help being touched by his concern, even if it is totally unfounded. "Of course, you doofus. Don't worry about me; I'm not an idiot. And I've got a black belt in taekwondo, remember? But thanks."
"Okay," he says, looking relieved, and she offers him a sip of her chai latte. After handing her back the drink, he stares at her across the table for a long moment, then says, "So you're really not having sex with him."
She kicks him again, harder this time.
.
"Wow, go you! Never thought you'd ever get laid."
"Not you too," Levi says tiredly as his sister dissolves into giggles on the other end of the line. "For the last fucking time, she's my roommate, okay? My roommate. I'm not sleeping with her."
"But I saw a picture of you guys hanging out in your living room on Facebook," Isabel says. "You guys looked super buddy-buddy. Totally close. And you live in the same apartment."
"I lived in the same apartment as you and Mom and we're close," Levi points out. "Doesn't mean a damn thing."
"That's different, stupid; we're your family. She's a random girl you just started rooming with last month."
"We're friends," Levi repeats, fighting off an incoming headache. He's had to say this how many times now in the past month? "With no benefits, for Christ's sake."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
Isabel is quiet for a moment. Then: "Well, you should add benefits then. If you both want to, anyway. She's pretty and you guys look cute together."
Because she's calling from across an ocean, he does not hang up on her, but he is sorely tempted.
.
Petra works late shifts at a local bookshop, and she's just about to close for the night when someone familiar walks in.
"Erd!" She rushes to the front to hug him; he picks her up easily when he returns the embrace.
"How's my favorite undergrad student doing?"
"You're an undergrad student too, dumbass," she says, but she stands on her tiptoes to peck a fond kiss on his cheek. "How was Australia?"
"Sunny. How's your new roommate?"
She groans. "Not you too. Who told you?"
"Auruo." Erd's eyes are full of worry as he asks, "You sure you know what you're doing?"
"He's a perfectly normal guy, Erd, and he isn't that sort of person. We're friends—like you and I are friends. Seriously."
Erd raises an eyebrow. "Friends?"
"Yeah."
"Just friends?"
"Yeah—why?"
"Never mind then; I thought you were sleeping with him for some reason…"
Petra smacks her forehead so hard, it leaves a red mark.
.
Levi sits cross-legged on the plush white couch in the living room, his French class notes spilling everywhere. He ignores them in favor of his phone, which he's using to watch a cooking tutorial—until the video is interrupted by a text.
Are you at your apartment?
It's Erwin. Levi scowls but types back: Yeah.
Never mind then, is the reply he gets half a minute later. I won't interrupt your time with Petra.
He would flip the table if it didn't mean Petra would kill him later when she got back; it's made of cherrywood and glass and she brought it in. She's not back yet and we wouldn't do what you think we're doing anyway, he informs Erwin.
Have fun, Erwin answers, and Levi tosses his phone on the couch with a noise of frustration.
.
Petra unlocks the door and slips in to find Levi in the living room, staring at his phone's screen. He drops the device to the side and nods at her as she sets her things down and joins him on the couch.
"How was your day?" he asks.
"Decent." She looks over his shoulder at the pages of French sprawled across his lap and grins. "Why are you studying French? You speak it."
"Exactly." His eyes raise to hers, then a bit higher. "Why is your forehead red?"
"Long story." She waves her hand dismissively. "Aren't you going to ask me how my day was?"
He sighs and puts his phone down, pushes his notes away, and casually drapes his arm over her shoulder. "How was your day?"
"Pretty good, thanks for asking. Oh, and Erd's back. You remember Erd? The—"
"—guy from Australia, yeah." He nods. "And?"
"Despite not being in the States for a few months, he seemed to be under the impression that we—you and I—were having sex. Just like everyone else."
"Well," Levi says, turning to her, "don't know where the hell he got that idea."
His face is close to hers, close enough that she can count each of his eyelashes, close enough that she doesn't have to crane her neck to kiss him. He kisses back, his arm dropping from her shoulders so he can rest his hands on her hips, and before long he's fallen back onto the couch, pulling her on top of him, and she sighs as his lips trail lower and lower.
"They're still suspicious, you know," she says between breaths. "Do you think we should tell them a little earlier?"
"We said end of the month, right?" The words come from between his teeth, which are currently doing something very interesting to a certain sensitive spot on her neck. "Not much difference."
"Guess we'll just…" She hisses as his tongue follows right after. "… wait a bit longer then."
"Guess so. Now stop talking."
She obliges.
.