My new chapter is taking a while. XD So I decided that instead of sitting there looking like Tweek because I had writers block, I would write something random.
So ya, this is kinda angst, so if you don't like that shit, just don't read it.
I woke up with a start as an arm fell over my face and hit my nose. I sighed, sad to have been disturbed from just a nice dream.
Beside me, some girl, I'm not sure. That happens a lot, I've realized. I mean, under my depressing orange parka which I still wear, is a very attractive young man, apparently more attractive than I had initially thought.
When I look at her, I see she is still undresses, and I sigh, I didn't even remember her name.
She stirs a little. It was a party, I remember. She was drinking beer like there was no tomorrow while I just kinda thought about stuff, though I pretended I was talking and doing shit. She had looked over at me and seductively slipped onto my lap, many other guys witling and telling me I was lucky as she side of my hood and gasps, because, well, again, I'm actually very attractive.
"Fuck." She had said, "I wanna do you."
I obliged happily, though mainly because sex is a nice thing to have, though she was defiantly not my first chosen partner.
My little shitty ass apartment. I can't believe I got out of that hellhole.
I mean, I'm 23 now and I have a good job, well, good eough to pay my bills and still give me enough time to have a little fun and just fuck around, like usual.
But I don't want to. I don't want to fuck around.
It's all because of that Butters. He's what I was dreaming about and he's what I was thinking about. No, he's what I always dream and think about.
And it makes me wanna punch Eric Fucking Cartman, because it's all his fault that I cry every night unless I'm high or fucking some chick.
No, I'm just making excuses, and besides, I knew he liked me for a while, but he was just too fucking oblivious that I felt the same.
In out senior year of high school, I didn't fuck around, I wanted Butters, I love him. I would tell him everyday, "I like you."
I can still remember the face he would make. It was happy, but had a hint of sadness, "We-well gee, Ken. I like you too, I mean, we're friends!" He would then do that adorable little fist thing he does and walk to class.
I knew what he wanted, he wanted love, not like. Maybe I'm the oblivious one, because I think he knew how I felt, shit, I've even kissed him, but that just made everything worse, or maybe that was what made everything horrible to begin with.
The first time was after our last class, school had ended and Butter had stayed behind to clean the classroom, which he did every Friday.
I stayed to watch him, keep him company, also because it was better than home, better than my drunk ass father.
"O-oh... Geez, Ken. You don't hafta keep me company..." Though he was smiling, which meant he was happy I was there.
I just smiled, helping him erase the correct material on the board, straighten things out, and just kinda make small talk.
I had walked him home, being he is just so damn cute and I wouldn't surprised if he was abducted at any moment.
I couldn't stop thinking of his soft looking lips, mainly because he kept licking them because of the water he was drinking.
After that, I did something horrible. it was right in front of the Stotch house, right as Butters was about to go inside. I pulled his arm and in one swell swoop, took my prey. I inserted tongue and kissed him, hard and passionate.
I knew his parents saw, i knew they were gonna probably ground him for life, but I never thought what they really did to happen.
I just left, waving, Butters blushing furiously and his parents yelling and pulling him in.
Butters wasn't at school the next day. He was in the hospital.
God, I hated the feeling it gave me, that it was my fault he almost died from, 'Falling down the stairs'.
He told me, "What do you mean, Ken? I-I fell down the stairs, silly." he had then whispered to me, "Ple-please don't get mad at them, they're go-good people..."
Leave it to Butters to still love two people who beat the living shit out of him. And leave it to me to have let it happen.
Leave it to me to let Eric Cartman finally come out that, he, himself, was a fag(amazing!). Leave it to Butters to again, find the good in everyone, including Eric Cartman, and go out with him.
Leave it to me to just watch, to just dream and think. leave it to me to pretend I'm fucking Butters instead of the huge tited girl bouncing on me.
Leave it to Kenny Fucking McCormick to be the only one crying at the funeral.
Okay, so for those who are like, "What?" I will explain the little events.
Kenny has basically woken up after having slept with a girl, he gets annoyed because he was having a dream about Butters. He says that he seems to always dream and think about him, but he is basically too late, though he doesn't exactly explain why, it just says that it's all Cartman's fault.
Kenny then says that he was once very faithful to Butter, well more(Because he still technically is) he didn't fuck around so that butters would like him more. Butters liked him, but Kenny was never able to say, I love you." Which was what butters wanted.
He kissed him right in front of his parents a little later, causing Butters get beated almost to death and put in the hospital, where Kenny though he wasn't good enough for Butters and stopped pursuing him.
Cartman later then came out of the closet and Butters decided to go out with him, because Butters loves everyone, though he wasn't living with his parents anymore(I never actually put that in there xD).
Over the few years, Kenny watched Cartman physically and mentally abuse Butters, but he said he didn't deserve him either, and left it be, though he says that now when he looks back, it was just an excuse because he can't technically forgive himself.
It is now revealed at the end that Butters is now dead. Either he died in some accident, or Cartman somehow went to far. You can choose!
I hope you enjoyed it, or more felt sad. xD