Hey.

So I know I haven't finished "electric love" yet *looks to the sky, hands behind back trying to ask for forgiveness*...but this idea has been keeping me awake at night, as well as that god awful migraine and pinched nerve...but I knew I had to get the first chapter out. Hopefully it's alright...I haven't really done much plotting or anything, but I have a few ideas I want to bring to this story, so I hope you enjoy and stick with it. And for those of you worried about "electric love" thank you, you are sweet and yes I will be finishing it and may even have the next chapter up this weekend (I just have to write the bloody thing).

This story will solely be from Emily's POV as I feel it needs to come from her. It's a story about leaving what you know behind and trying to figure your shit out...kinda a bit where my life is at the moment.

Also, since you stumbled across this...I have started a forum called "The Naomily Phenomenon" here on . Maybe you will check it out? You can find it here myforums/dietcokeandlime/8657928/

We sit back enjoy, and pretty please tell me what you think and leave a review?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Skins or that characters, but I do own my brain (well I hope so) and a brand new ukulele

Chapter One

Pathetic. I know that's only how I feel at this moment and not what I am, but I cannot deny that it is in fact how I feel right now. Totally and utterly pathetic. Although to the outside world, my life probably looks fine and dandy with rainbows and glitter, but really, it's lonely and predictable.

I suppose the only way you will understand (or at least try to) is if I start from the beginning...

About three years ago, life was good; fantastic even. Heck even...near perfect. I had a life then. Career, significant other, nice car, nice house (rented but still), a dog and friends. I had everything that I wanted, or at least that's what I thought at the time. You know when I was young and 'impressionable' as my mother liked to put it. When I thought things would only get better, you know aside from the daily struggles of adult life. I couldn't have been more wrong.

It was your typical Bristol day; dark, wet and miserable, but I didn't mind it because it was normal. It was home. It was 'safe'. Michael, my significant other, okay my boyfriend, and I had been together since just after college. We met in a study group and that was it. We fell madly in love with each other and things just got better from there...that is until everything...okay me...became one...fucked...up...mess.

Back to this fine Bristol day. I was sitting eating lunch in a local cafe, just watching the world go by and the people in it. People-watching. It was perhaps a secret obsession of mine; just to sit there and watch how people interact with themselves and each other. It was interesting for me. It allowed me to escape my inner most thoughts about myself and just indulge in the endless possibilities of other people's lives without knowing really a thing about them. I guess on some level I felt envious of them. Although I had some twisted sense of reality in that I thought my life was almost perfect, I still had my insecurities. But when I was with Michael he seemed to make all that disappear. Oh yeah, when I was with Michael.

Anyway, as I was, absorbed in people-watching some guy walking up and down the street looking to the sky, hands outstretched like he was the bloody Messiah or something, muttering nonsense under his breath, and believe me, it was nonsense. Random words including fisting, bicycles and cheese came up once or twice. I must have been watching him for about ten minutes; this strange guy, who was dressed like a monk, and to be honest, looked a bit like Jesus.

I was so engrossed in watching this guy and trying to figure out what the fuck he was on about when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I retrieved my phone and saw 'one new message from Michael' pop up on the screen. I unlocked my phone and pulled up the message.

Hey babe. What time will you be home tonight? Thought we could go out for dinner, just you and me? xx

Michael. He could be so sweet sometimes. Okay perhaps nearly all the time. He was like a packet of double chocolate chip biscuits; deliciously sweet and can't get enough of. At the time, and throughout our relationship, it was one of the things that drew me to him in the first place. He was a genuine sweetie. He was the first person to make me feel special; wanted and...loved. He cared and maybe he cared too much. Maybe that was the problem.

I mean I had a few short relationships, and a fling or two in High School and College, but nothing serious. Nothing noteworthy. Nothing permanent. But that's what Michael was, or so I thought.

I smiled at the two xx's at the end of his text and quickly typed out a reply.

Hey you. My last shoot was cancelled because of the weather so I'll be home around 4pm. I just have to finish editing the last few photos and it's off to the printers.

Oh yeah, I'm a photographer...or I was a photographer. Freelance. And I liked it that way, working for myself; able to pick and choose what worked for me and what projects I wanted to work on. At first I had to take what I could get, you know starting out. I was 'discovered' fresh out of Uni by a small company that basically only hired freelance photographers. It was my big break. I was happily snapping photos of weddings, industrial structures, landscapes and the odd Comic Con fanatic...don't ask.

When I become more confident and perfected my craft, I became almost solely focused on shooting festivals and events. I did a few engagement and wedding shoots on the side for a bit of extra cash, but festivals and events was my forte...remember the people watching?

So this afternoon I had the last few photos of a boutique beer and wine festival to edit before taking a trip to the printers. I finished up the last bite of my sandwich and the last swig of Diet Coke and started the short walk back to where I had parked my car.

I was about halfway back to my studio when Michael replied. I heard the 'ding' through my Bluetooth, but waited until I parked to read the latest text; safety first and all that.

Okay babes. How do you feel about fancy and Italian tonight? I feel like getting dressed up, something different yeah?

I couldn't help but roll my eyes, Michael could be a dick sometimes, but I loved him; well did love him.

Ha ha! You loser, but yeah fancy and Italian sound...perfect. See you when I get home. Love you xo

So a few hours later, photos edited and dropped at the printers, all dressed and ready, Michael had swept me off my feet...once again...as we headed to my favourite little Italian restaurant on the other side of town; Poncherello's.

We wined and dined, chatting effortlessly as usual, finally ordering one of Poncherello's finest gelato cups. I hadn't the slightest idea that this night would be out of the ordinary until dessert was served...directly in front of me. The moment I looked down I was...surprised beyond belief. And that was an understatement.

There sitting on top of the wafer twirl in my peanut butter gelato cup was a...ring; not just any ring…an engagement ring.

"Emily Jane Fitch, will you do me the highest honour of becoming my wife?"

I looked up, meeting Michael's blue eyes, and something washed over me. A feeling I wasn't expecting; a feeling that I wasn't ready to welcome. A feeling that was perhaps a multitude of feelings rolled into one...deadly package; fear, pain and...regret.

I was shocked, not by his proposal (I knew one day it was coming), but by the sudden mix of intense (and negative) emotions blanketing around me. But the insane part (and yes insane is the right word here) was what came out of my mouth...

"I-I…I'm sorry Michael...I-I can't."

I got up and left the restaurant before I had the chance to see his face fall, to see his pride disintegrate; to see the disappointment and resignation of his truest intentions leave him...shattered. At the time, I don't know what came over me. It's what I had always wanted; love, marriage and family. But for some unknown reason, the actual words from his lips were foreign to me. It was like in an instant, I didn't know who I was anymore. Or what I wanted or that I even wanted to be with him. I just knew I had to leave. And so I did.

I couldn't go home, because he would follow me and demand an explanation, I mean what the fuck was I supposed to say? I couldn't go to my twin sister's because there would only be more questions I knew I couldn't and perhaps didn't want to answer. There was only one place I could go and one person I could talk to, my best friend, Freddie.

I walked all the way to Freddie's place which was a good hour's walk from Poncherello's. I guess I needed time to breathe; time to think about what the fuck I just did. Time to ponder my next move. I wasn't used to feeling like this. I always had a plan; my plan. I wasn't usually this stupid, I mean I knew that when you have been with someone for so long and you love them, the next step is to get married. But what I didn't know was that…that ring…would trigger something inside me that I wasn't expecting. It was like the pin of the grenade, sitting there and if I didn't leave things were going to explode in my face. And I guess in a way they did.

I arrived on Freddie's door step slightly sweaty and shoeless. I'm pretty sure I kicked them off somewhere around Cheltenham Road. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I thought I was doing okay, considering the events of the evening. I hadn't cried or anything…well that was until I saw Freddie. As soon as he answered the door it was like the flood gates were open and the dam was overflowing.

"Hey Ems…" the moment he locked eyes with me that was it, his face fell "...shit Ems, are you okay? What happened?"

Freddie was a pretty tall guy; thin but very very tall. And me? I was a midget compared to him; I barely even reached his shoulders. But when he hugged me, he completely wrapped me up in him as if he was trying transfer his warm energy to me. He engulfed me in a hug trying to calm me down and as usual, after a few minutes it worked.

He brought me inside and waited until I was ready to talk. Freddie was good like that, he was patient and understanding. To be honest, I really don't even remember how we ended up friends. We were the most unlikely pair but we just got each other, you know? Like I said Freddie was tall, but he was also dark and handsome. He had long dark brown hair, almost to his shoulders and had started growing a goatee of late which actually made him look much older than he really was, but it suited him. He had the darkest brown eyes I had ever seen and was the most caring person I had ever known. He would give you the shirt off his back if you asked him to…scratch that…he would give you the shirt off his back whether you asked him or not; if you needed it, it was yours.

After a while of sitting on Freddie's couch in silence I told him everything that happened. And what got me is that he wasn't surprised…at all…

It was a good minute until I had actually registered that he wasn't surprised by my sudden out-of-character display. My mouth dropped a fair distance down towards the carpet and I muttered out something that (hopefully) resembled a, "What do you mean it doesn't surprise you Freds?"

"Well, Ems, I don't want to sound condescending, but you deserve much more than Michael could ever give you."

"Huh?" If Freddie knew this before, he had never let on before…

"What I mean Ems is that you settled for him. You thought he was good for you because…well because it was easy. It was comfortable…Look Emily you know I love you right but you don't take risks. Michael wasn't risky…he was…well Michael."

Freddie knew me better than anyone, so although I didn't understand what he meant then, I knew on some level that he was right.

I rested my head in my hands trying to unscramble what was going around in my head so I could at the very least open my mouth to something that was um or ah. "What the fuck do I do now? I mean this morning I woke up and everything was fine. And now I ran away from the man I love…over what? A fucking piece of metal?"

I adverted my eyes and met Freddie warm brown ones.

"I don't know how to answer that Ems, but what I do know is there was a reason you left. There was a reason you didn't say yes. You may not have the answer now but you at least know whatever the reason was, you made a choice tonight."

Freddie was right. He was always fucking right. I spent the next week hiding out at Freddie's. And over that week I had missed call after missed call from Michael and everyone in my family, about fifty unanswered text messages and a dozen emails. I gave up reading them after a while, because I couldn't answer the questions they were asking me. I fucking had no clue. But as the days went on, I knew I had made the right decision. I didn't know what I wanted but I knew that I didn't want a life that just crossed all the t's and dotted the i's. Looking back, that's how it was with Michael. I was settling with him because it was easy. There was no risk, because there was no passion.

The more I tried to figure out what I wanted, the more I realised I had made the right decision. The next step was a fresh start. No matter how long or how hard I thought about it, I couldn't do it here, in Bristol. Michael was here and he would always be here, which meant I had to be the one to leave. I didn't understand why I had felt this way all of a sudden, but I knew that this feeling was not going to go away. It was a permanent as red wine was on fluffy white carpet. I had to move on with my life, away from Bristol.

Freddie had been really supportive in my decision to leave my life behind. So supportive in fact that he said he'd come with me if I needed him to. I couldn't believe that he would pack up his life for me and move to a different town or country even, but that was friendship in its purest form.

"I can't let you do that Freds. I need to do this on my own. I need to figure out what I want and to be honest if you came with me, I'd just be worrying about the sacrifices you made. No, I need to do this on my own. I need to start over somewhere new."

"Alright, but at least let me help you, yeah?" he paused slightly as if thinking hard about something, before continuing, "look, you remember my Uncle Matteo? The one that escaped to that island a few years ago, after my Aunt died?"

"Yeah what about him?"

"Well he owns like a fishing business or something there. Why don't you go and stay with him? I'm sure you'd be able to help out and he'd give you somewhere to stay, until you figure out what you want and where you want to be? I would be able to sleep at night knowing you were safe with Matteo. Would you do that for me Emily?"

"Um…I don't know Freddie…" but what really did I have to lose now? "Fuck it. I'll do it. I can always change my mind yeah? Life is full of possibilities and all that crap isn't it?" I think I actually laughed for the first time in a week. It felt good.

The next day, I woke to the sound of Freddie talking quietly to someone on the phone in the adjacent room.

"Look Katie, I don't know what's going on with Ems. She won't talk to me and I'm not going to make her...Just know she is safe with me and I will look after her...Just give her some space yeah? I'll let you know when she is up to talking okay...Bye Katie"

I peeled myself off the couch sauntered over to the kitchen, propping myself up in the doorway.

"Freddie you didn't have to do that."

"Yeah Ems, I did. You need a head start okay. You can't move on if Katie is just going to drag you back here and demand answers. I know her Emily, better than you think I do."

I offered a goofy smile in thanks.

"Come one let's have some breakfast and then I can take you over to your apartment and gather some stuff, if you like?" He walked over to the fridge and began rifling through its contents in order to find something to eat. I mean Freddy didn't actually…work. Well I mean he had a…would you call it a job? He was basically a "bar tender" at this old run down pub and would sing in a band on the weekend for some extra cash. I think he just worked there for something to do to be honest.

"Mmhmm yeah okay. Michael…" I felt a shiver run down my spine at the mentioning of his name, "…um he should be at work by now, so we should be…safe."

Freddie popped his head over the fridge door and gave me a big cheesy grin, "perfect…and we have eggs and this..." holding up a copy of "The Hangover" on DVD.

We both erupted in a fit of giggles for some time, before I asked the inevitable question of, "dare I ask how that made its way into your fridge?"

"You know Karen and her…friends…"

"Hang on, I thought she moved out?"

"She did…my beloved sister moved out about…two months ago"

"So you're saying you haven't opened your fridge for two months?"

Freddie nodded like a small child afraid to speak aloud.

"Maybe we should just grab something on the way yeah?"

With that he threw the eggs in the bin and chucked the DVD on the table, "I'll drive then?"

By the time we made it to my apartment, after grabbing a couple of breakfast burritos on the way, we were in and out within half an hour. I had packed all my belongings that I actually wanted to take with me in a large duffle bag and a backpack. I took one last look around the apartment, dropped a note I had written for Michael on the kitchen table and closed the door on my, now 'old' life, and haven't really looked back…well not in the 'I made a mistake' way, just a 'so that was my life" way.

So the rest is…well history…I haven't seen Michael in three years. I last heard from him about two and a half years ago through a letter he had given Freddie to redirect to me. I hadn't seen my family in sometime, I mean I did go home for Christmas the first year, but it was too hard to be in that town and there were still questions from my family that I couldn't answer. I hadn't told anyone where I was living or really what I was doing except Freddie, and I preferred to keep it that way, at least for now, the less distraction the better. I mean I was trying to move on with my life by moving here to this far away island off the mainland.

My family didn't really understand, but they respected me enough…well after about a year's worth of grovelling…to just let me find my own way. It was either that or they would never get to talk to me. It was hard to not see them all the time, especially Katie, but I just needed time and no matter how much Katie hated the distance, she gave me that; she gave me time. And now sitting here on my patio in the middle of the night, I think I am ready to move forward.

I pulled out my phone and quickly typed out a text, not really caring what time it was…it was important to do this now.

So I think I am ready. How's the first of next month?

So remember it takes less then thirty seconds to write a review and hit the little submit button. I would love to here what you think so far. I know its a little vague, but the next chapter will set the scene a little better, no that we know a bit about Emily's past and her head at the moment.

dietcokeandlime xx