Author's Note: I was a little sad one night and came up with this rather depressing piece. I don't even know how it will turn out yet, so let's just see what happens…
Disclaimer: I don't own CCS.
The spatters of the rain outside seemed to echo Sakura's mood, unshed tears glistening in her emerald eyes. She sighed – a choking sound escaping as a sob rose to her throat – and stood up, nearly tripping over her chair. As she straightened herself again, she caught a glimpse of herself in the full-length mirror across from her desk, and quickly looked away. She hated seeing herself after arguments with Syaoran; she always felt stupid and pathetic, a failure and a disappointment. The thought made her tremble again, and she collapsed onto the floor, hugging her knees to her chest and biting back tears once more.
What had they been arguing about? Oh yes, her not having enough time to spend with him. It wasn't really arguing – Syaoran had never yelled at her before, and never will, she knew – but a few hurtful comments had resulted in a cold "goodbye" before hanging up on the phone. They had had problems with her busy schedule before, but in the end, Syaoran had always relented, sounding disappointed yet still understanding; however, this time, Syaoran was truly frustrated, and called her a selfish goody goody for deciding to stay home and study instead of going with him to the new movie. She had been really hurt by that. Did he really think she was selfish? Tears rolled down her cheeks uncontrollably. Was she really such an awful and uncaring person?
Abruptly, Sakura realized that she had not seen Syaoran at all this past week – they didn't have any classes together now and she had had to stay after school everyday that week for drama club – and they had not done anything alone together for nearly a month! The only way that they caught up with each other was through the phone. No wonder Syaoran was frustrated. Still, it was unfair, she decided. She was happy just to be with the person that she liked, even if it was just hearing his voice on the phone, but Syaoran always expected so many things from her! Why couldn't he just understand?
Syaoran clenched the phone in his hand, his head hanging in dejection. Why did he even try? He could never change her mind.
His temper had gotten the better of him, and now he regretted having said all those things to her. Who was he kidding? Sakura is the most loving person he had ever met; she was never selfish. He knew that her reasons were valid, but sometimes he couldn't help but feel as if she was pushing him away: whenever he asked her to do something with him, she always found some excuse not to. Syaoran shook his head. No, he mustn't think like that. Sakura wasn't doing it on purpose.
Yet knowing that wasn't enough for him. He wasn't going to blame Sakura for this, but that didn't make him stop wanting to be with her. That was really all he wanted – to be with the person that he liked. It seemed like such a simple request, so why couldn't she just understand? Sure, he liked hearing her voice over the phone, but phone conversations never seemed quite real to him. He couldn't look into her dreamy eyes or watch her cheeks flush excitedly as she recalled stories to him. He wanted to be able to sit next to her and feel her presence, to close his eyes and still know that she was there. He wanted to hold her close and never let her go.
Syaoran sighed. What was he going to do? He knew that he had messed up again this time.
Her foot dragged across the wet sidewalk as Sakura treaded toward the penguin park. Her pink umbrella was rather small, even for her, and left her other arm exposed to the freezing rain. There was a small tear at the top too, which she had forgotten about when she absent-mindedly chose the umbrella on her way out, and now the rain was dripping steadily through the hole onto her head. Not that she cared, of course; she had too much on her mind at the moment to care about something as minor as getting rained on.
She trudged across the muddied playground to the big cherry tree on the other side. The blossoms were in full bloom, although the rainstorm had blown away many of the delicate pink petals, which were now scattered around the roots of the tree. Leaving her umbrella among the fallen petals, Sakura hoisted herself up on a low branch and climbed up. She winced – she had not realized that her legs had been so cold and numb until now! When she finally got up and settled herself on her favorite branch, Sakura resumed fetal position and rubbed her legs to warm them. The full canopy of the tree provided adequate shelter from the rain, but somehow, she still could not keep away the chill that was creeping into her.
She didn't know why she had decided to come out, for she was never very fond of rain, and today it just exacerbated her sad mood. Maybe it was because she knew that she wouldn't have been able to concentrate at home anyway. No, she was not going to make up excuses for herself! So why was she here? Was she expecting him to read her mind and miraculously appear? Was she hoping that he would find her and apologize, and somehow make everything better? Well, yes, she secretly did believe something like that would happen. Or rather, that's what her heart believed. Her mind told her to stop being naïve and go home before she caught a cold.
She didn't know how long she sat there for. Half an hour? An hour? But soon she realized that she was shivering, and when she looked up, she could hardly make out the pale pink petals against the darkening sky. She knew that she should go home soon, for her father and brother will get worried, yet something was keeping her back. She let out a sigh when she realized that she still harbored some hope that he would appear. She silently scolded herself for being so pathetic. She really should stop watching those dramas on TV – real life never ends up happily ever after.
Just as she was about to climb down, she heard splatters of mud nearby, and her heart quickened a beat, her arms and legs stopping in mid-motion. Could it be him…? The sound of footsteps grew louder, followed by a male voice.
"Sakura! Are you up there?"
A man stepped into view, carrying a large black umbrella, shoes dappled with mud.
It was Toya.
Sakura's heart dropped with disappointment, but she quickly cried back a reply.
"Onii-chan, I'm here!" Her voice quivered with cold.
She prepared herself for a scolding, or even a string of insults, but received none. She watched in surprise as Toya handed her the umbrella and turned his back to her, motioning for her to climb onto it. Obediently, Sakura did so, holding out the umbrella for both of them.
"I'm sorry, Onii-chan," she whispered as they headed for home. "I didn't mean to make you worried."
Toya only grunted.
Syaoran hurried down the sidewalk, oblivious to the pouring rain. As he rounded the corner to the park, he stopped, peering through the misty rain around the playground. He spotted the cherry tree standing on the far side, and, remembering how Sakura loved to climb it, ran toward it. She's gotta be here…she just has to be…
"Sakura!" he cried out as he reached the tree. Panting, he looked up expectantly, yet there was no one up there. "Sakura?" he whispered again uncertainly.
Syaoran stood there, with the rain drenching his clothes and pink petals blowing around him, feeling like an idiot. He had risked facing Toya's wrath when he called Sakura's house again, but was disappointed when he found out that Sakura wasn't home (and got yelled at by Toya too). Growing steadily uneasier when he learned that Toya didn't know where Sakura was either, Syaoran decided to go out in search of her. The idea of her out there alone by herself unnerved him, and made him forget about all the things that he had been frustrated about. After hanging up on the phone, he immediately headed out the door, forgetting to put on a coat or even to grab an umbrella – all he could think of was Sakura, his vulnerable Sakura, waiting for him out there in the storm. Yes, she was waiting for him, and he knew where she would be.
Syaoran let out a dejected sigh.
He had been so sure that he would find her here! And yet, there was no trace of her underneath the large canopy of the cherry tree. He wanted to apologize for the things he had said…if he could just find her, then everything would be all right!
He shook his head silently. It was as if someone had played a trick on him: the rustles of the tree echoed Sakura's laughter, and he seemed to see Sakura's shadow every time a petal drifted into his vision. He knew that it was no use standing there any more, but something innately obstinate made him remain a few minutes more, as if she might appear if he was just patient enough to wait a little longer. Finally, realizing the senselessness of doing so, Syaoran turned around and walked away, shoulders slumping, bearing a burden that was heavier than the hammering rain against his back…
Behind him, Sakura's tattered umbrella lay forgotten among the dark bushes.
Author's Note: Wow, this one turned out more depressing than I had first intended " But as a huge fan of tragedies, I felt that it was supposed to turn out this way. R&R please!!