Owen took a sip from his mug of coffee and froze. Ok, so it was just a cup of coffee, but hell Ianto never made a good, bad or indifferent cup of coffee; it was always bloody fantastic and today this one was not. He looked up and quietly watched as the 'Tea Boy' mechanically made his way up the steps and out of the autopsy bay. Owen took a second sip, very definitely not up to par. He frowned, something was wrong and he cursed himself when he realised it was a bad cup of coffee that finally made him take notice.
Ianto had not uttered so much as three syllables in as many weeks. The Hub though clean didn't seem quite so tidy and on closer inspection neither did Ianto. Owen got up and followed his younger colleague into the main part of the Hub. Watching him from behind Owen took in the slightly hunched shoulders; the way the jacket of Ianto's suit was no longer fitting him so well, more like hanging. How the skin of his hands and face seemed whiter, slightly drawn and finally on watching Ianto pass a cup of tea to Toshiko (who didn't even look up) his hand shook. Having delivered everyone's drinks in silence Ianto headed back up to the kitchen area to tidy up. He was loading the dishwasher by the time Owen got there.
"Have you got any biscuits in here Ianto?" Owen asked. It was purely an exercise to get a better look at the Welshman's face, but Ianto didn't so much as glance in his direction. He just bent down and pulled a packet of chocolate hob nobs out of one of the cupboards and passed it to Owen with out a word or making eye contact.
Owen attempted a smile. "Cheers Ianto." He replied as he opened the packet and took two out. He handed the pack back to Owen. Owen dithered there in the doorway coffee in one hand, biscuits in the other.
"You not having anything?" He ventured when he realised had made nothing for himself.
Ianto just gave him an empty look that almost made Owen flinch. "Didn't feel like anything." Came the monotone reply. "Is there anything else you wanted?"
Owen shook his head. "Na, cheers mate." He retreated back to the autopsy bay.
Owen sighed as he glanced at his watch, 8pm and boy did he hate hanging around unnecessarily. He discreetly spied Ianto departing for the night then charged up from the autopsy bay to Jack's office. Something really needed to be done about Tea Boy. Owen found Jack sitting at his desk reading from some report or another, his handsome face set in a mask of concentration.
"Jack can I have a word?"
Without looking up Jack gestured to the chair in front of his cluttered desk.
"Give me a minute Owen."
Owen just sat there gazing about Jack's eclectic office until finally his boss looked up, closing the document in front of him. He smiled at Owen in that way of his that always made Owen feel slightly hot under the collar.
"Would this be about Ianto by any chance?"
Owen nodded. "You've noticed?"
A shadow seemed to pass over Jack's face. "Yeah, bit difficult to miss really." He replied.
"Has he talked to you?"
Jack shook his head. "He's not likely to talk to me after what I asked him to do now is he. I should have blown his brains out, I think that would've been kinder."
Owen was mortified, but he understood.
"I'm his bloody doctor Jack and I only noticed today that something was wrong because he made me a lousy cup of coffee." Owen felt ashamed of the admission. "Perhaps I've just been so mad at him lately that I didn't want to notice, and he's so dam good at hiding himself. Fuck's sake I should be sympathetic despite what he did, he's just lost the only thing that meant anything to him and all I can do bitch about the bad coffee."
"We are all guilty of it." Jack assured him.
"Perhaps we should just Retcon him, put the poor sod out of his misery."
Jack shook his head. "That's us being too lazy to care. I know he did wrong Owen, I think he knows it, but the truth is he pulled off one very clever stunt right under our noses and even with my gun in his face he refused to give up. That says a lot about him, how strong he really is under all that grief. He survived Canary Wharf, he'll survive this. We just have to find a reason for him to want to do so."
"Well what ever we do we need to do it soon. He's pretty ill Jack. I did a sneaky bio scan; his vitals are all over the place and looks like he's lost a lot of weight. I don't recall him eating or drinking at all at work this week and I wouldn't like to guess what a blood test would show up."
"So Dr Harper, what do we do?"
Owen shrugged. "Like you said. Give him a reason to live because it's the one thing he doesn't have anymore."
"I'm not a miracle worker Owen."
Owen got up from his seat. "Small steps Jack. I'll give him a thorough medical tomorrow, try to chat to him. You find him something more challenging to do than the catering and the cleaning. He needs a distraction, a project of some kind."
Having pulled on a fresh t-shirt for the day Jack Harkness climbed up the ladder from his bunker. It was 6:30am and as of yet he had not heard the familiar alarm sound from the roller door. Ianto was half an hour late. Not late technically of course. Ianto was never that. But usually the 24 year old got in at 6am, cleaned up the Hub, put the coffee on and had everyone's breakfasts ready for the start of the day. Jack decided he would risk the young man's wrath by getting his own coffee so he wandered over to the neat little kitchen area. He glanced around the kitchen searching for the 'coffee stash' (As Owen had dubbed it) noticing a list written in Welsh stuck to the fridge with a magnet. Jack pulled it off to read it admiring the elegant handwriting. It was Ianto's shopping list for the Hub.
MnS:
Orange juice (Gwen).
Myfanwy's fish.
Owen's biscuits.
Cranberry Juice. (Owen and Tosh).
Tesco
Milk.
Manuka Honey.
Raw Sugar.
G+B 70 black.
Hot Chocolate stuff.
Wittards Order
Ceylon Tea.
Rice Tea.
Coffee (Try the new Kenyan this time.).
Green Tea.
Jack replaced it with a sigh. Even the simple task of keeping everyone fed and watered and Ianto had thrown himself into it looking after all of their little quirks with barely an acknowledgement from any of them let alone thanks. Not wanting to upset the boy further he abandoned the task of making his drink.
7am and still no sign of Ianto. As if on cue the roller door alarm sounded and Owen stepped through as it opened up. He went straight up to the kitchen expecting to find Ianto hiding away there.
"Where's Tea Boy?"
Jack gave him a withering look. "It might help if you start by calling him Ianto!" He said rather firmly.
The remark just bounced right off Owen. "So where is he?"
Jack shrugged. "He hasn't come in yet. At least I don't think he has."
Jack pulled out his mobile, made the call and was greeted by Ianto's voicemail. That was odd.
"It's not like him to have his phone switched off. I think I will check the CCTV to see if he came in earlier. He could be hiding in the archives." He wandered off to Tosh's workstation and a couple of minutes later. "Found him."
Owen was at jack's side.
"What is he doing there?"
Jack gave Owen a concerned look. "That was the room where he hid Lisa. I'll go and talk to him." He turned and left.
"Go easy Jack, he's armed." Owen called after him.
"Yeah, I noticed." Jack called back.
Jack found Ianto sitting crossed legged in the middle of the room which had since been stripped and scrubbed down of everything except the flourecsant light fitting in the ceiling. Ianto heard the cautious footsteps behind him and waited for Jack to sit down beside him, his fingers tightening around the firearm in his hand. Otherwise he didn't move, but eventually he spoke.
"You know in America they have Death Row for people like me." He said quietly.
Jack frowned at the pitiful tones. "I don't understand."
"Serial killers. You see once it becomes more than one person……"
"I'm still not following you Ianto." Jack watching Ianto's fingers flexing over the weapon in his grasp.
"Dr Tanizaki and Annie, guilty as charged. I'd never even killed so much as a spider before then and I don't even like spiders."
"You did not kill them Ianto."
"You should have shot me Jack." They looked at each other and Jack flinched visibly at the emptiness in those blue wide eyes. He quickly looked away.
"I'm glad I didn't. It was a mistake. You made yours for the best possible reasons and the truth is I found myself asking if I'd have done the same."
Ianto bowed his head. "I sat here so many nights and prayed for a miracle, hoping to do right by her and now there is nothing, void." He jammed the barrel of the gun under his chin and Jack wasn't quick enough to stop him.
"Ianto don't!" He really did not want to see another colleague blow his brains out.
Shakily Ianto lowered his hand and the gun clattered to the floor. Jack snatched it away and clicked the safety on.
"I tried already. I couldn't do it. I want to die Jack and I couldn't do it. Why can't I die?" Tears flooded down his pale cheeks as huge sobs wracked his body. Jack was unable to comfort him, the betrayal between them too close.
"I don't think you want to die. You just want the pain to go away. Eventually that will happen. You just have to try to get by in the meantime."
"She was all I had."
"We're still here, for what it's worth. We can help you if you let us."
Ianto was shaking his head. "After what I did to you all? I don't think so."
With out thinking Jack gently rubbed calming circles over the younger man's back painfully aware he could feel ribs and spine beneath the fabric of Ianto's shirt."
"You're forgiven Ianto, by us at least. You have to find a way to forgive yourself and stop punishing yourself because you won't need a bullet to finish the job if you carry on like this." Jack said trying to be gentle, even now he was still angry and in truth he hadn't forgiven.
Ianto wasn't ready to listen. "Retcon level 6 should do it. Give me that, let me forget everything."
"No. I do that and you really will lose everything and I am not prepared to give up on you. I know it hurts right now. But it will get better."
Ianto finally broke down. Reluctantly Jack pulled him into his arms and held him.
PART TWO: 'THANK YOU'Toshiko glanced to her side at Ianto. He looked shattered, staring blankly ahead through the windscreen of the SUV. They had all had the worst kind of night imaginable. All the way back into Cardiff he hadn't uttered a word whilst the rest of the team had talked animatedly about their encounter with the Cannibal village from Hell. They were now in the parking bay and Jack and Owen had lifted an injured Gwen out of the vehicle and were heading into the Hub. Ianto hadn't so much as realised that the car had stopped so far as Toshiko could tell. She reached out her hand and grasped his fingers, which seemed to jolt him back into reality.
He gave her a brief look of bewilderment then his face dropped behind his usual blank mask.
"You saved me Ianto. You saved me. Thank you."
The very faintest of smiles touched the edge of his lips. "You're welcome Tosh." He replied before returning his gaze back to the windscreen.
ACTS OF KINDNESS: Pt 3 and 4AbsenceIanto glanced at his watch and puffed out a sigh. Another day had escaped him without him even noticing. Turning off the laptop he placed on the shelf next to the stack of files he was currently working on. He picked up his PDA and his clipboard and silently made his way out of the vaults turning out the lights and locking the doors behind him as he went. It was high time he went home, though he half wondered what he had to go home for, an empty apartment and an even emptier bed. Unhappily he made his way up passing via the cells to check on Janet. The weevil was curled up with her new tartan blanket sound asleep. Once at his excuse for a desk he dumped the things he was carrying and retrieved his car keys and wallet from the draw. He pulled on his winter coat and unconsciously glanced in the direction of Jack's still empty office and yet again he felt something tighten in his chest as he looked away. He was about to leave when emerged from the autopsy bay yanking his lab coat off and slinging it over the nearest chair. He frowned at the younger man.
"I thought you went home hours ago." Owen's cockney accent was never more apparent. How long had he lived in Cardiff? Ianto found himself wondering. Ianto shrugged.
"I'm still completing the archive. I think there's stuff missing, but until I've been through it all I can't be sure."
Owen pulled on his leather jacket. "Why Ianto?"
The young Welshman was puzzled by the question. "Its my job Owen. Jack asked me to catalogue everything down there and get it stowed properly, that's what I do when I am not running Jones' coffee and cake emporium, or cleaning up or feeding the animals…" He responded bitterly.
Owen sighed registering the edge in the younger man's tone. "Yeah. Yeah, of course."
Ianto had to force himself to relax his posture. "I'm sorry Owen. I am not mad at you." He said.
"I know mate. Fancy a beer before bed time?"
Ianto thought about this for a moment. "Yes, I do."
"Right then, I'll drive us back to mine, you order the pizzas and I'll see if Gwen and Tosh want to join us shall I?"
Ianto totally failed to hide his surprise at the suggestion. "Why are you doing this Owen?"
"Because Jack fucking Harkness has gone, you're heart broken, I'm really angry and Gwen and Tosh are pretty pissed about it too. I think we should have a team Torchwood lets bash Jack night."
Ianto almost managed a smile.
PART 4: THE WANDERER RETURNSThey had to avoid themselves for 12 hours, not difficult really as none of them spent much time at home, home seemed like the obvious choice. Tosh and Gwen went to Tosh's apartment though Gwen would have much preferred to have a holed up in a hotel with Jack for the night. Either way she couldn't go to her place because of Rhys. Tosh invited her back knowing full well that Jack and Ianto had things they needed to discuss and Gwen had no business getting in the way of that. Owen went home took a shower and found a bar and later a stranger's bed to share for the duration, nothing new there then.
Ianto got out of the front passenger seat of the SUV, he turned to face Jack before closing the door.
"Where will you go?"
Jack shrugged. "Hotel I guess."
Ianto paused sucking in a steadying breath, wondering how soon he would regret this next sentence. "Stay here Jack."
Jack turned the engine off and looked somewhat nervously at Ianto. "Are you sure?"
"My sofa is to die for actually."
Jack wasn't certain whether he was joking or not.
Jack followed Ianto up three flights of stairs, (Ianto had had a thing about not using elevators after his earlier encounter with John.) to the top floor flat he shared with Moses, Estelle's cat. The moment Ianto opened the door the door the black and white cat shot out and starting rubbing himself around Ianto's ankles. Ianto gathered him up, talking to him in Welsh and rubbing his affectionately as he made his way to the kitchen.
Jack closed the door behind them.
"Coffee Jack?"
"Yeah, thanks." He glanced around the immaculate surroundings as he caught with Ianto in the kitchen. Ianto fed the cat and gestured with his free hand.
"Lounge is through there, make yourself at home."
Jack wasn't sure what to expect of Ianto's living space, he had never been here before, but it wasn't this. The wall that faced him as he stepped into the room was completely hidden behind a bookshelf full of books. Most of the volumes it contained looked old and Jack as ever drawn to all things old stepped closer to get a better look. He was surprised to find to find, three different versions of the Bible, a copy of the Koran, another of the Torah and at least a dozen titles referring to eastern mysticism and anthropology. The following shelf housed Arthur Conan Doyle, Jules Verne and HG Wells respectively along with collected poems and medieval poetry. Jack half found himself wondering if they were just for show, but somehow he doubted that. On turning to face the opposite wall there were two large framed photographs hanging on the magnolia paintwork. One of Ianto in the arms of the late Lisa Hallet and one that Jack recognised as Ianto's parents probably not long before their deaths. The couch did indeed look comfortable and so did the rug that was spread out in front of the open hearth on the polished boards. The only piece of modern technology in the room was a reading lamp. It took Jack a moment to realise that Ianto was standing in the doorway proffering a mug of coffee. Jack accepted it.
"Thanks."
"You hungry?" Ianto asked.
"Now that you mention it." Jack smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes and that did not escape Ianto's attention.
"I'll order Chinese, my coffee may be pretty good but my cooking is lousy. You can sit you know, just not on the rug that's where Moses sleeps and he is very selective about who he shares his bed with, anyway it's covered in cat hair." Ianto left the room to make the call. Jack realising he had no where to put his mug had a bit of a dance as he shrugged off his greatcoat and draped it over the back of the couch before sitting down.
A moment later and Ianto was back sitting down on the couch beside him but careful not to make physical contact, a mug of tea in his hand.
"Dinner will be here in an hour." He said.
"You don't have a TV." Jack commented.
Ianto smiled. "You're right. No TV, no Skybox, no stereo or ipods and definitely no computers. The most advanced thing in my flat is the toaster."
Jack turned himself so he could face Ianto properly. "Why?"
"I'm not here very often and really don't need those things and after what happened to Lisa to be honest I just don't want the technology in my home."
Jack's face dropped. "I'm sorry. I didn't think."
Ianto frowned at him perplexed by the apology. "You've no need to be sorry Jack." He was not accustomed to seeing Jack so far out of his comfort zone; there was none of the cheesy flirting for a start. "So tell me, why did you leave us for 5 months?"
It was Jack's turn to pull a face now. "Do we have to do this now?"
Ianto was resolute. "We have to do this before we go on that date, if you were being serious about it that is."
"Do you want me to be serious about it?"
Ianto sighed exasperated already. "I want some honesty and some trust from you."
"You have that." Jack responded on autopilot.
Ianto flared. "Bullshit. You CHOSE to leave us without explanation or a half decent apology. You left me hanging like so much dead weight." Ianto paused gathering a breath. "It fucking hurt so don't think for one moment for one moment that things between us are going to go back to the way they were."
Jack was at a loss for words for one of the first times in his long life, thoroughly uncomfortable under Ianto's intense gaze.
"I can't talk to you about my time away."
Ianto's look was bordering on venomous and Jack found himself physically shrinking away from it. He had never imagined that Ianto would ever look at him like that.
"I can't. I'm sorry. I'm not ready."
Ianto just shook his head and got up leaving the room. A moment later he returned and threw a small-framed photograph into Jack's lap. Not understanding Jack picked it up and saw Ianto's smiling face, the happiest he had ever seen him, the person holding him was Jack.
"I have held on to that hope the whole time you were away. I grieved Jack because I believed you were never coming back. I loved you so much that I felt like I was breaking apart from the inside and all the time you've been gone I've been doing your work, lying to the others to protect your secrets. You owe me an explanation." He shouted. Jack couldn't look at him.
"Jack!"
"I ran away because I thought the doctor could fix me, make me mortal again. I'd waited so long stuck here unable to anything. I was tired of being alive of never feeling my spirit burn with just the joy of knowing it could all end. He couldn't help me. He said I was a fixed thing and that I was all wrong and that there was nothing he could do…" He trailed off registering the anger on Ianto's face.
"And that took 5 months?" The tone was accusatory.
Jack realised that he was not going to let this drop. "Actually it took me a year, time travel it complicates things." He replied distantly really not wanting to have this conversation, but Ianto was right; Jack did owe him.
Ianto sat down heavily realising for the first time that Jack looked liked he was hurting as much as he was. He fidgeted for a moment.
"Jack there's something I have to tell you, something I need to ask."
Jack met his look almost drowned in Ianto's beautiful blues eyes.
"What is it?"
Ianto took a moment to think of the right words. "While you were away. I had nightmares, not like my old ones. These were different, real….I….."
Jack finally found a faint smile. Ianto was as bad at talking about his feelings as Jack was and Jack was keen to take the pressure of himself for a bit.
"Go on."
"I am in a room with you. You're in pain, screaming at me. I mean really screaming. I am in pain myself and I can't reach you to help you, but I have a gun in my hand and you keep screaming at me not to shoot. I put the gun to my own head and I die. I feel it Jack. And I'm drowning in blackness……I just think it wasn't a dream at all, more like a premonition."
Jack's jaw dropped and he gaped at Ianto. "How could you know that?"
Ianto swallowed. "Know what?"
"I was here on Earth. I lived a whole year of a different timeline. The earth was decimated by an alien invasion. The Doctor and I were both held prisoner. Gwen, Tosh and Owen went out to Asia to follow up a false lead, they managed to escape capture, but you stayed behind in Cardiff. They picked you up about eight weeks later. You surrendered yourself in exchange for Rhys. We were locked up together and I was forced to watch whilst you were tortured. The final day came when we were given a gun with a single bullet in it and told that if we didn't use it on one another Martha's family would all die. You got to the gun before I did and shot yourself through the head." Jack's face was blank as he relayed the tale. Ianto sat there; he really didn't know what to say for a long while.
"Then I should be dead." He finally muttered, and he got up and walked out of the room. Jack remained there stony face unwilling to let his emotions unfold into the tears he was desperate to hold back. It was too soon for all this.
The food arrived and the two of them sat and ate in silence. Ianto cleared up and made Jack another cup of coffee. They were back on the sofa lost in their own thoughts.
"Ianto?"
Ianto looked at him his face unreadable.
"Please say something Ianto."
"You hurt all of us when you left. It's not going to be easy for me to accept you back."
"I know that. But I did come back and for the first time in my life I know that this is where I belong. You know how it goes you don't know what you've got until it goes missing. I won't leave you again."
Ianto sighed wishing he could believe that. A long yawn escaped him and he tried to stifle it.
"I need to sleep." He left the lounge for a minute coming back with a quilt and a couple of pillows for Jack.
"Like I said, the couch is very cosy." He retrieved his photo. "If you need anything, just help yourself. There's a towel in the bathroom for you. Night Jack."
Rather abruptly he left Jack to his own devices closing his bedroom door behind him. Ianto sat down on the edge of his bed and cried as quietly as he could.
Disappointed but not surprised Jack got himself undressed and settled himself down on Ianto's couch and fell straight to sleep, feeling safe for the first time in a year.
Ianto lay sprawled out on his bed in T-shirt and shorts, wide-awake and aching from every corner of his soul.
Ianto got up at 5am having not slept and took a long hot shower. He padded quietly through the flat to the kitchen towelling at wet hair. It was going to be a long day. Moses strolled out of the lounge leapt up on to the bench and stretched. Ianto fed him giving him a rub on his whiskery chin before making himself a very strong cup of coffee and a round of toast.
"Yan?"
Ianto froze unhappy at the use of Jack's pet name for him.
"Ianto!" The tone was much louder, more demanding this time and sighing Ianto wandered into the lounge to see what it was that Jack wanted. To his dismay he found that Jack was still asleep tangled in a disarrayed quilt. His beautiful face marred with a fearful expression. Words were uttered in a language that Ianto did not recognise. And then his name again.
"Please leave him alone, please." It was pitiful and Ianto sucked in a worried breath, he had heard all this before in his own dreams. Jack pulled the covers tightly to his chest.
"Please no…."
Ianto cautiously sat on the edge of the couch curiosity and pity fighting for dominance.
"Ianto! No!"
Ianto gently rested his hand on Jack's arm. "Sshh……it's ok. Jack it's ok. It's just a dream." He said soothingly. Jack shuddered and his eyes snapped open as he lurched upright gasping for breath.
"No!"
Ianto quickly with drew his hand. Jack blinked away his momentary confusion and looked at Ianto, surprised to see him there.
"Ianto?" He rubbed at his face.
"You were having a nightmare Jack. I woke you up. Sorry, but you seemed quite upset."
Jack sat there searching Ianto's eyes, he leaned forward to kiss him but Ianto stood up "I'm making some breakfast. You want some?"
Jack sighed. "Yeah, thanks."
Ianto walked away from him. Before he realised it Jack was there behind him grabbing hold of his arm and pulling him round so they were facing each other. He quickly moved his other hand to the small of Ianto's back moulding their bodies together and kissing him. Ianto just froze unwilling to respond at first, but his resolve quickly melted as he pulled Jack in deepening the kiss. Ianto finally came to his senses and pulled away and gently shoved Jack a pace to create a little space between them. But Jack wouldn't let go of his hand.
"Ianto, tell me I have a chance to make things up to you?"
Ianto was shocked at the look of hope and worry on Jack's face. He had never seen this man like this before and Ianto had to admit to himself that it frightened him to see Jack so fragile.
"I don't want to get hurt again, or to be used any more. You left me and I am tired and I am lonely. Quite frankly? The last 5 months have been shit. I know it's been bad for you too, whatever it is you've had to endure while you were away. But I am not ready to let you back into my heart or my bed for that matter. You really want me? Then I expect some respect and not to be treated like some part time sex toy." Ianto was shaking as he yanked his hand away from jack's grasp.
Jack was devastated, but he kept his face straight. Ianto could tell though, he always could and he felt guilty for what he had just said.
"Lets just leave things for a while. Wait till you're settled back in. I need some time Jack and so do you."
Jack finally nodded. He wanted to tell Ianto that he loved him but he knew that Ianto wasn't ready to listen.
Acts of Kindness: Part 5'Show N Sell .com'
Ianto hauled in a steadying breath as he gathered up the half dozen manila files that he had on Gwen's desk. Holding them tightly against his chest he made his way up the steps to Jack's office. He tapped on the glass door as he entered and made a point of closing it behind him. Jack looked up from his report and sighed rather dismally when he noticed that Ianto had an armful of paperwork instead of a double espresso to give him. He smiled that ever charming and slightly shy smile that he only ever reserved for Ianto, but Ianto blanked it and the smile quickly faded when Jack realised this was obviously going to be a business chat and not the agreement to go on a date with him. Ianto was still avoiding giving him an answer and for once in his life Jack was prepared to wait.
"Is that more stuff I have to sign off?"
To Jack's relief the young Welshman shook his head as he carefully placed his burden on Jack's desk. Ianto was looking edgy and Jack leant back in his seat to watch him.
"Well?"
"Can we talk?"
Jack was smiling again. "What did you have in mind?"
Ianto huffed impatiently. "Not that, before you start." He responded sharply. Jack's eyes flickered with a brief flash of hurt at the tone.
"Ianto…"
"I'm serious Jack. This is important." Then he relaxed slightly. "Not nearly as much fun I appreciate." It was a poor attempt at an apology.
"Anyway this will take a bit of time."
Jack sighed. "Ok, What's up? And sit down Ianto you are making me nervous."
Ianto sat. "It's about one of my 'Projects'." He began, a little unsure of himself. Since Jack's return a few weeks ago he was finding it hard enough to face him let alone speak to him.
"Go on Ianto." Jack tried his best to sound encouraging but he couldn't quite pull it off, the last thing he wanted to talk to Ianto about was work.
"As you requested last year I've been tracking certain items on the internet, primarily through Ebay and another site called Show N . There is so much stuff out there Jack that is supposedly alien that I decided to keep a database of the whole lot in order to keep track of the buyers and sellers out there. To be honest it's a bit of a nightmare sorting out what's genuine and what's not, but some one out there has a much better idea than I do."
Ianto pulled open the top most of his folders and shoved a thick printed document under Jack's nose.
"That's a comprehensive list of stuff that wasn't accounted for after the destruction of Canary Wharf." Another document was placed on top of it.
"This is an inventory of all items stolen, lost or otherwise removed from UNIT over the last two years and not recovered. And this one." A final sheet. "Things missing from our own archive that I cannot account for. I believe most of these items went missing before Alex killed himself in 2000, but I can't be certain of that."
Jack was reading one of the lists. As Ianto continued on opening up his second folder and placing a photograph of a middle aged Asian male on top of the lists.
"This is Ranjan Patel according to his Torchwood 1 personnel file. He's also known as Sergeant Rajiq Singh of UNIT and Dr Mishran Panjani of the RAF. He is the principle seller of said items which coincidently turn up on those lists and his Ebay ID is Josh Patel of 22, Barrington Gardens, sw19. His actual identity is Jordan Malik, born Pakistan Dec 14 1957…."
Jack raised his hands. "Ok Ianto stop. Where is this going?"
Ianto gave him a frustrated look. "Let me finish Jack."
"How long have you been working on this?"
"Ten months. Please just humour me for once?"
"All right. Carry on." Jack really didn't feel like listening to this.
Ianto placed a second photograph on the desk.
"This is the buyer. He has 49 separate Ebay accounts at any one time, he keeps changing them. His name is believed to be one Jason Murry. He's had known associations with the IRA, AL QUEADA, The Black Angel Group and Sheikh Fire. Aliases include John draper an Australian businessman, Gregorovitch Marx and Daniel Samson. This man has been systematically purchasing alien tech basically anything that looks like it could be used for something. Purchases included, meteors, shrapnel, parts unspecified, powders unspecified. And components unspecified. The are three associates that work with him, I've only been able to identify one of them." A third image was passed to Jack.
"I've no idea who she is but this was taken off our own CCTV footage. We had an attempted break in whilst you were away. This picture…." Ianto produced a fourth image. "I took that in Birmingham 3 days ago, the man she's with is Jason Murry."
Jack took some time to study the images. "I am not certain I am liking where this is going."
"I got Tosh to study my list of items from the Ebay sales. A lot of it looks like junk but put things together and she believes that weapons could be made or backwards engineered from some of this stuff. Jack there's Cyberman Hardware, in those lists. The point is this Jason guy is obviously being advised by some one like Tosh- some one who knows all about this stuff. If he's making weapons and selling them on to terrorist organisations he has to be stopped."
Jack saw no problem agreeing to that. "So lets do it."
"It's not that straight forward Jack. We can't just track this guy and take him out there's a bigger picture here. I've already spoken to Kev at UNIT intelligence…"
"Wait a minute, what?"
Ianto hesitated nervous. "I had to Jack. You weren't here." They held one another's gazes for a long uncomfortable moment. It was Jack who finally backed down from it.
"Go on, what did he say."
"He believes that there are at least a dozen people involved in the marketing alone. He's pretty certain that they have some kind of Lab out in the Middle East. It's huge Jack but so far they've made zero progress trying to shut the operation down, they can't get access, they've been trying for months. They had some one posing as a buyer and he was exposed a month into the op."
"What happened to them?"
"Bits of him turned up in the Thames near the Chelsea Embankment. The thing is Jack I think they've been going about this the wrong way. We have to get some one in there soon though because a lot of merchandise has changed hands and the buying and selling suddenly stopped two days ago." Ianto 's gaze was fixed intently on Jack. "We have to do something Jack, we've got to recover the stolen Tech before people start getting killed with it."
Jack took a long time to digest all of the information and continued to look over the lists that Ianto had given him.
"What do you suggest we do?"
Ianto shook his head. "I don't know Jack. I guess we need to infiltrate Jason Murry's team some how try to find out where all the money is coming from to fund all his collecting. There has to be an organisation of some kind be it corporate or government or some other random thing."
"And there's no the way to trace the payments for the items bought via the internet?"
"They've covered their tracks very well, everything has been paid for in used cash of varying currencies ranging from New Zealand dollars to the South African Rand. I tried getting into the banks databases to see if there was any way of following the cash trail, but it can't be done with out the co operation of the banks and coding a hell of a lot of foreign currency." Ianto explained.
"Ok, so why is this the first I've heard about it?" Jack's tone darkened considerably.
Ianto baulked. "Because this has taken me the best part of a year to collate, in my spare time between cleaning up everyone's shit and you running off, why the fuck do you think? Sorry Jack it's not like I get any help around here." He was trying desperately not to yell and failing miserably. Jack just sat there, impassive and waited patiently for Ianto to calm down.
"Then I take it the others do not know what you have been doing?" He asked.
"What?"
"Just answer me Ianto."
"The others don't know. No one's especially interested in what I do unless the coffee runs out." He responded caustically.
"Ok. Keep this to yourself. I want you to pull out some high profile stuff from the archive and advertise it for sale."
"I beg your pardon?"
Jack smiled at the look of utter confusion on Ianto's pale face. "We are going to nail these guys and you Ianto Jones are going to be my eyes and ears out there. You see what I am saying?"
Ianto looked straight at him completely unable to hide his surprise. "You really want me to do this?"
Jack nodded. "You know all the Intel and I know you are more than capable in the field, Gwen's reports of recent months are enough to tell me that. Lets try to get you in there, see what you can find."
Ianto was looking mildly horrified. "I'm not exactly James Bond material Jack."
Jack leaned forward. "You done excellent ground work here, this is your bag, see it through. I know you can do this."
"What about the others?"
"We can't tell them Ianto. If this thing really does go as deeply as you think it could, the moment you make any serious contact with these people you'll be watched, they'll bug your house tap your phone calls and emails. I can track any of that from here. We'll need to work out a sensible plan, but a disgruntled Torchwood employee with access to loads of working alien tech will be too tempting I hope for them to ignore. This is going to take time."
"It already has."
"And it will be very dangerous." Jack warned him.
Ianto accepted that. "Jack, I have to feed that dam dinosaur everyday…"He replied gathering up his research.
Jack reached over and grasped his hand. "Yan?"
Ianto froze.
"Are you ok with this?"
Ianto looked into Jack's oceanic eyes. "No, but you're right. I know all the Intel. I'm the obvious choice…I just don't want to…" He trailed off.
Jack's expression demanded an explanation.
"I just want to have to lie to my friends."
Jack gently squeezed his fingers. "I know, but the less the others know the safer you will be and I promise. I will be watching your back you have my word."
Taking hold of both of Ianto's hands he stepped around the desk and knelt down in front of him looking up into his stormy eyes and smiling tenderly. Ianto felt his heart skip a few beats.
"I am very glad I met you Ianto Jones. I will keep you safe. I promise." Jack assured him.
"That's a promise you can't keep Jack. Just make sure we get them before they hurt anyone, that's more important." Ianto responded pulling his hands away.
"If that's a promise I can't keep then why are you doing this?"
"Because you asked me to, because it's what we do isn't it? Protecting people. You told me once I had to make Lisa's death count for something. This is me counting. I just hope I can do this." They both stood up and Jack rested his hands lightly on Ianto's hips.
"You'll do just fine, because you are brilliant, just be patient, be careful and kiss me."
Ianto stood there poised in indecision. He stepped back. "Stop flirting with me Jack. I've work to do."
ACTS OF KINDNESS Part 6In the fire
Ianto leaned against the brick wall and glanced at his watch. Ok, so he was early. It was only 7pm. He pulled his hood up and then shoved his hands into the pockets of his Jeans to keep them warm. It was a bitter evening, unseasonably cold in fact and all Ianto wanted to do was go home and curl up on his luxurious couch with a book, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. He sighed, things had gone a bit crazy over the last few days and he was still trying to get his head round what was going on his life. Ok, working undercover for Torchwood was one thing, but now he was briefing MI5 as well without Jack's knowledge and Ianto knew that Jack would skin him alive when he found out. It was complicated though. They had intercepted him obviously aware that Torchwood was snooping on their own territory and some how Ianto had managed to convince them to let him handle the assignment since he was already hip deep in the front line as it were. Ianto smiled to himself feeling slightly smug about it, but he was also very worried. Alien artefacts he could handle, even unpleasant humans were no big deal, but this whole thing went way beyond all that and he deeply wished that there had been no alien tech involved at all, then he could just go home. He hadn't told Jack most of what had been happening because he knew that Jack would've pulled him off the assignment weeks ago otherwise and Ianto understood that that was no longer an option. His conscience wouldn't allow for it, leaving a job half done with weapons of serious destructive power out there in the hands of human thugs. He turned his head to get a look down the darkened alley. He hated it here, the pick up point lost somewhere in the mire of South London, too far away from home for comfort. He looked the other way beginning to feel extremely nervous. This narrow back wash of suburbia was a 'dead zone'. A glitch in the world, no CCTV, and for some inexplicable reason, no GPS or mobile phone signals either. How the hell did Torchwood not know this? Well they did now. Still the isolation from observation made Ianto feel vulnerable every time he came here. They couldn't fix that problem because as Ianto well knew it was constantly watched by human eyes of a less then friendly nature. He knew that Jack had been frustrated by the fact that he had not been able to keep close Tabs on him at all times. Ianto had hidden his own concerns under a barrage of innuendo, which seemed to lessen his boss's worries. Ianto often wondered about Jack. He really didn't know where Jack's feeling lay. Jack had tried hard over the last few months to settle back into things. He hadn't overtly flirted with Ianto at all and Ianto found that disconcerting in itself. But Ianto had also clocked the looks that passed between Jack and Gwen sometimes bordering on intense longing. Ianto was finding it hard not to hate her for it after all Jack was as bad as she was. Maybe he should just get off with her instead………Ianto straightened up as a pair of beams from car headlamps cut through the darkness. A black Daimler slid silently into view and eased to stop in front of him. Ianto picked up the small backpack at his feet as the passenger door on the drivers side open to receive him. Terrified Ianto climbed in and shut the door behind him as the car slid away into the night.
Gwen logged off from her terminal and trotted up the stars to Jack's office and after knocking briefly on the door she stepped in without invitation. Jack, who was at his desk and just hanging up from a call on his mobile, looked up her and smiled brightly. She failed to notice the tension in that smile completely and sat down in front of him.
"I'm done with the reports. Is there anything else you would like me to do for you Jack?" She held his gaze. Jack shook his head.
"No thank you. Ianto will appreciate what you've done I'm sure."
Gwen leaned forward putting her elbow on Jack's desk and resting her chin in her hand, her long hair falling forward brushing the top of his desk.
"I didn't do them for Ianto." She replied. Jack mirrored her position so that their faces were only a couple of inches apart her sweet warm breath on his face. A peaceful silence settled between them and Jack's smile slowly dropped as he gently brushed her lips with the briefest of kisses.
Gwen closed her eyes.
"Jack…." The whispering brought him to his senses. Shit. He pulled back.
"I'm sorry. I should not have done that." He muttered.
Gwen shocked into straightening her self up looked hurt. "Why not?"
"Because I have Ianto to think about." He looked away from her guiltily realising how easy it was for him to fall back into old habits just because of loneliness and a pretty face.
"Ianto? I thou….."
"And you have Rhys! Don't throw that away over me." He said with sincerity. "I'm not worth it Gwen."
The only sound between was Gwen drawing in shaky breaths. She stood up. "I know you're right Jack, but I can't help how I feel."
"Then you'll understand about how I feel toward Ianto."
Finally she nodded. Again the silence.
"Where is Ianto?"
Jack smiled at her again sliding the Captain persona back into place.
"Taking some personal time. It's been a year since Canary Wharf he needed a break. I told him to take as much time as he required." He hoped the lie was a convincing one.
"Jack, it's been a few weeks."
"I know, he's having treatment for Post Traumatic Stress. You've no idea what he went through there. I wanted to make sure he was going to be ok." He explained.
Gwen nodded seemingly convinced. "Do you love him?"
Jack looked straight at her. "I love all of you. Now go home, live your normal life, for me."
With a hesitant smile she turned and left the office closing the door behind her.
Jason Murry inspected the item that Ianto handed to him. It was one half of a device that enabled the person holding it to see into the future, the half that opened a view into the emotional energy traces left behind floating silently through the world. Ianto had been explaining in detail how it worked, having memorised Tosh's report on the artefact. Ianto sat there in the plush surrounds of the back seat of the Daimler clutching his now empty pack as he talked rather nervously. He watched Jason carefully, a man in his early forties. A man who had magnetising corruption oozing from every pore of his powerful body, his sculptured face, which could be considered handsome were it not for the coldness of his black eyes and a thin silver scar than ran down from his temple to his chin. He wore that mark like a badge of honour so far as Ianto could tell and in truth Ianto was terrified of the man.
"This looks good Jones. We'll have to test it out before I make payment, you understand." His East London accent held none of Owen's cockney charm.
Ianto nodded. "So long as I get paid."
Jason's hand strayed in the direction of Ianto's knee. "You'll be coming home with me until the test is done."
Ianto's guts froze; he didn't dare look at Murry. "I thought you said my word was good."
He could feel Murry edge closer to him.
"It is Yan. You've got us some good stuff. You're valuable to me. I just thought we could share a drink whilst you wait for your cash." The hand moved along his thigh.
Ianto quickly stole a glance at him. "Ok, a drink, that would be nice." He said with an apprehensive smile. Fuck! "Where are we going for this drink?"
Murry studied the younger man's face.
"To my Chelsea flat. You'll like it. I think you are a man who appreciates the best things in life."
Ianto met his look with extreme difficulty. "If Torchwood paid me enough."
"And what would you have Ianto Jones?" Murry's tone was laced with innuendo. Ianto had to consciously make an effort not to squirm, it never felt uncomfortable like this around Jack and the Captain was King of Innuendo.
"Well Ianto? What is it? Coke? Little girls? Little boys, perhaps? Torture? Bondage? We all have our……little fantasies." If Jason were a cat he'd be purring right now as he gently ran his fingers up and down Ianto's thigh.
Ianto knew he had to come up with something fast.
"Books." He replied.
Murry baulked, completely taken aback for a moment. Then he laughed, reaching his hand now to the back of Ianto's neck. Ianto kept his face stony straight.
"Books? You're fucking kidding me?"
Ianto shook his head. "First editions. I have a modest collection, but it's not enough."
Murry nodded, knowing full well, he'd already taken a peek at Ianto's flat. He leaned in, his face an inch away from Ianto's black eyes staring fixedly into Ianto's oceanic ones. Ianto held that look thinking his life just might depend on it. He could feel fingers tracing circles on the back of his neck.
"I like you. I think you and I should stretch out this little transaction of ours until the morning. What do you say? I know for a fact that you've been shagging Captain Harkness, wouldn't mind a piece of that myself."
Ianto swallowed wondering just how much these people actually knew about Torchwood, he hadn't been with Jack since before his disappearance.
"No one shags Jack. He takes what he wants, when he wants it. I think you are the same, just taking what you want."
Murry gripped his chin none too gently "You're dam right about that."
He kissed Ianto hard on the lips, painfully so forcing his tongue into Ianto's mouth. Ianto responded reluctantly, feeling sick inside. Murry finally drew back to take a breath. "Good, so we understand each other then?"
Ianto nodded not trusting himself to reply.
Acts of Kindness Part 7:
Sticking Plaster Over A Gaping Wound:
Ianto wearily stepped over the threshold as the roller door allowed him access to the Hub. He walked gingerly over to Tosh's workstation and sat down in her chair unable to cope with the stairs going up to Jack's office. It was 10am and Owen, who had heard someone enter, stepped up from the autopsy bay rather stunned to discover Ianto sitting hunched up in a hoodie and jeans, covered in dried blood and clutching at his side.
"Jesus Ianto, what happened?" He was at the younger man's side in a flash, reaching out to check his colleague. Ianto held him back.
"It's nothing I need to talk to Jack."
But Jack having seen him come in was by now also there. Ianto got up swaying precariously on his feet and both Owen and Jack reached out to steady him.
"Ok, talk to me while Owen patches you up."
Ianto shook his head. "Talk first, in private. Your office." He said firmly.
Owen opened his mouth to protest but Jack waved him down.
Ten minutes later and Ianto was sat on the couch in Jack's office with Jack carefully attending to the grazes on the backs of Ianto's hands as Ianto steeled himself to talk, trying to ignore the sting of the antiseptic.
"Jason Murry is bringing me in on his operation. I'm valuable it seems. He gave me a list of things he wants from the archives, though how the hell he knows we have them……He must have access to our computers or something." Ianto sucked in a painful breath.
"Then who the hell did this to you?" Jack demanded.
"Jason. It was meant as a method of making me understand the consequences of letting him down. He says he'll do this to Tosh and Gwen if I don't keep bringing in the things they want. They…."Ianto stopped himself wanting to cry and curl up like a baby, but he knew he couldn't do that in front of Jack. Jack however registered the look that Ianto hadn't meant to give. And pulled him into a gentle embrace kissing the top of his head.
"What happened Yan?"
Ianto eased himself away shaking his head. "Nothing, my ribs hurt, is all." He took a slow breath to steady himself, Jack watching him with silent concern.
"They've got some one from UNIT helping them, but I don't know who. I over heard them joking about it."
Jack carefully lifted Ianto's chin, inspecting the bruising to his pale face, the cut lip and swollen left cheek."
"I'm sorry Yan. I should never have asked you to do this. I'm so sorry."
Ianto sort of smiled at the genuine regret in Jack's voice. "I'm fine, really. Its just bruises." He lied.
Jack frowned at him recognising the dishonesty. "I know it isn't. I can see it in your eyes Yan. I'm pulling you out."
Ianto gripped his arm. "It's too late for that, you do that and I am a dead man and these guys disappear and more people die. We have to see this through."
Jack couldn't help but feel a swell of pride for the young man before him. "I am so worried. You've been hurt enough."
"Trust me Jack. You have to trust me to do this."
Jack nodded. "That was never in question."
Ianto closed his eyes and sighed. "Thank you."
"Ok Ianto, tell me everything."
Ianto sat there hunched over a glass of brandy and relayed everything he could remember, names, places and every detail. Three hours later and he was asleep on the autopsy table having been checked over by Owen and given a sedative.
Owen barged in to Jack's office having settled Ianto off to sleep. He slammed the door, beside himself with anger.
"Right Jack, what the fuck is going on with Ianto? And don't feed me that Post Traumatic Stress rubbish, I am his doctor in case you'd forgotten!" He yelled.
Jack silently gestured for him to sit. Owen complied.
"How is he?" Jack asked.
Owen recognised the real worry in Jack's tone and calmed himself before answering.
"He's had the shit kicked out of him and he's…..I'm not sure I should be telling you."
"Owen?"
"I think he was sexually assaulted. He wouldn't let me examine him. So right now I guess he's feeling pretty shit."
Jack paled.
"Did you do this Jack?"
Jack was stunned at the question and more than a little hurt.
"You think me capable?"
Owen shrugged. "You tell me."
Jack sank back into his seat numb at the accusation. "I didn't do this to him. I did put him the line of fire though, if that's what you are asking. Shit." Jack lurched back up from his chair and paced around the confines of the office.
"He's carrying out an investigation for me." He said finally.
Owen watched his leader through narrowed eyes, realisation of the implications of that slowly sinking in.
"You put Tea Boy out there on his own, with no back up? Jesus Jack what the hell are you playing at?"
"Ianto knows what he is dong, he's been dealing with this thing for months and he's finally making some serious progress." Jack responded more than a little defensively. Owen arched his eyebrows.
"He's a kid Jack! A receptionist with almost no field experience. How the hell is he going to cope with what's happened to him?"
"He'll be fine Owen. I'll take care of him, but he stays on the mission. Ianto will be ok. He's a lot stronger than you think."
"Bullshit Jack!" He hissed.
"Owen, I've already suggested we pull the plug on this. Ianto refused. He thinks he can do this and I agree with him. He knows the risks and is prepared to take them." Jack retorted firmly.
Owen got up and faced him. "You're using him. That stupid love sick boy would walk into a burning building if you asked him to. This isn't about the job, or duty Jack. It's because he's besotted with you. If Ianto dies doing this thing I hope you feel guilty for a very, very long time because you will deserve to. You are a fucking bastard Jack Harkness." Owen turned and left slamming the door behind him.
CONFESSIONS AND LAMENTATIONS:
Ianto awoke and stretched his arms to try and ease the pain and stiffness in his shoulders. How he had actually managed to sleep on the metal autopsy bench was beyond him. Cautiously he sat up hurting all over, inside and out. Ianto did not want to think about it. It took him a moment to register the fact that Jack was standing there beside him proffering a soft bath towel and a pile of clean clothes. He placed them on the exam table beside his……Jack wondered at that. What was Ianto to him now?
"How are you feeling?" He asked gently.
"I'll be all right Jack." Ianto responded, not making eye contact. "Just as soon as these ribs heal."
Jack grasped his hand. "That's not what I meant. Owen told me about the other things they did to you."
Ianto's face burned with the shame of it. "Really Jack I'm fine." He pulled his hand away from Jack's grasp and gathered the bundle of clothes and the towel. "I er…I'm gonna get cleaned up. Excuse me."
Jack stepped back to let him pass noticing the intensely unpleasant look Owen cast his way as he did so.
Ianto stood under the shower head with eyes closed, hands splayed on the tiled wall as the scalding water ran over him. He had scrubbed furiously at his skin inspite of the pain and now he just stood there trying to drown the feeling of dirtiness that still clung to him. His tears losing themselves in the stream, his body wracked with heavy sobs. He finally sank down to the floor drawing his knees tightly into his chest. Ianto didn't notice a hand reach in to turn the water off and it took him some time to realise that the person holding him was Owen.
Ianto sat quietly, a towel wrapped around his narrow waist as Owen carefully re did the bandaging to protect Ianto's cracked ribs.
"You really need to be careful with these mate. Take a couple of weeks off to get some rest." Owen advised gently as he worked.
Ianto nodded not really listening, so Owen continued.
"Jack told me about the investigation you're working on. You should pull out Ianto. It's getting too dangerous and Jack shouldn't have exposed you like that in the first place." He tried to sound firm and friendly at the same time, but Ianto still didn't reply.
"Look Ianto, mate. I know you and Jack have this thing going, but you don't have to do everything he tells you to do."
That finally got the Welshman's attention. He looked at Owen appreciating his concern.
"This isn't about Jack. I do have a choice and I am going to see this through. If I walk away those people will still be out there, killing others. Jack warned me of the dangers, offered to shut down the operation, but I know what's at stake if I fail. You guys go out there every day, facing weevils and gods knows all the other kinds alien trash that gets dumped on us. This is no different Owen and Jack's right. I can do this. I know what it is to hide behind secrets and lies. Jack's using my skills in the same way that you are the medic and Tosh is the Techie. Though I'm not quite sure what Gwen does. Don't be mad at him Owen. Jack's upset enough over what happened to me."
Owen shook his head. "Stuff Harkness. What about how you feel Ianto? Doesn't that matter to you?"
Ianto looked up at his colleague. "No, not really. I've lost everything that ever mattered. At least with this I can do some good, otherwise there really is nothing."
"What about you and Jack?"
Ianto huffed out a breath, which made him wince. "The only thing that binds us together is loneliness. He looses everyone because he can't die and I've already lost everyone. We understand each other, but that's as far as it goes." Ianto explained wondering why he was telling Owen all of this.
"I thought you were in love with him."
Ianto half smiled, love, what a joke. "I am. I love him enough to understand that I am as temporary as everything else in his life. It's Gwen he wants to be with anyway."
Owen arched his eyebrows. That was news to him. "He told you that?"
Ianto shook his head. "I've just seen the way he looks at her."
"And I've seen the way he looks at you." Owen countered. "You haven't told him how you feel have you?"
Once again Ianto shook his head.
"Are you two still shagging each other?"
Ianto frowned at the use of the 'S' word. "No, not since he got back. He asked me out on a date a while ago now, but we haven't done it yet."
Owen was looking exasperated. "He can be such a twat sometimes."
Ianto began pulling on a clean shirt and shakily doing up the buttons.
"Tell him how you feel Ianto." Owen said firmly. "I know I can be a right wanker sometimes and you've every right to think that of me, but trust me. You need to tell him."
"And have my heart broken all over again? I don't think so Owen. He ran out on me before remember? I couldn't take that a second time." Ianto abruptly changed the subject. "I have to get ready. Thank you Owen, for helping me, for everything really."
Owen stood up. "You're a good mate Ianto. I know we have our moments, but you know where I am if you need me."
Ianto nodded.
Ianto wandered back in to he main part of the Hub with his customary tray of drinks for everyone. Both Gwen and Tosh did a double take at the sight of the blackening bruises on Ianto's cheek but neither girl commented, just thanking him for their coffees. Ianto handed a mug to Owen and took the last one up to Jack's office. As soon as the door was heard to close Gwen faced Owen.
"What happened?"
Owen shrugged which was incredibly annoying. "He came in last night a bit pissed and fell down the stairs into the autopsy bay." He said flatly, sipping on his amazing cup of coffee. Gwen was not even slightly convinced but the look on Owen's face told her not to enquire further.
Jack gratefully accepted the mug that Ianto handed to him. He looked up. Ianto was dressed in a charcoal tailored suit and dark red shirt and Jack just had to pause to look at him as Ianto turned to leave with out offering a word.
"Ianto?" Jack ventured.
"Yes sir?" The office face was back, Ianto's hand on the door.
"Sit down. And drop the 'sir'. I thought we'd talked about that already."
Ianto didn't move.
"Please Ianto."
Unhappily Ianto sat down putting the empty tray on the floor beside his feet, he gazed about avoiding Jack, is hands resting on his knees. A long silence descending on them, Jack eventually broke it.
"We need to talk Yan."
"About what, sir?"
Jack sighed. "About that for a start. I thought you and I were going to be ok now."
Ianto nodded. "We're fine." He responded automatically.
"No we're not. I seem to remember asking you out on a date a few months back. I still want that, do you?"
For the first time Ianto looked straight at him his expression blank. "I'm not sure if it's such a good idea. With work and everything……" He trailed off not wanting to have this conversation.
Jack moved from his chair to sit on his desk next to Ianto, he took hold the Welshman's left hand noting a mild flinch as he did so.
"Would it make any difference if I told you that I loved you?"
Ianto looked up in Jack's eyes and straight away saw the truth of his words, he just wasn't ready to accept it. "You love all of us Jack and what has Owen been saying to you?" He asked a hint of anger in his voice.
Jack shrugged not understanding the relevance of the question. "He told me off for giving you the assignment."
"He did?"
Jack smiled. "He was right. I deserved the bollocking. And you haven't answered my question." Jack reminded him gently.
"Yes it makes a difference, but only if you don't leave me again."
"I know that hurt."
Ianto chewed at his lip. "Actually you have no idea what I went through. You broke my heart the day you told me about 1941 and the real Jack Harkness and then you deserted us for 5 months. Maybe we deserved that for turning on you the way we did. I don't know anymore. I just don't want to be taken for granted and I know I will be."
"I promise you won't be."
Ianto almost smiled. "You can't make that promise. You will take me for granted because you always do. I just don't want to fall back into being shagged at your convenience any more."
Jack was stung by the remark.
"You think, that's all you were to me?"
"At the time, yes. I don't blame you Jack. We never made any promises to one another."
Jack gently rubbed circles on the back of Ianto's hand with his thumb.
"I'm making one now."
Ianto closed his eyes for a moment. "I know you are."
"So we have date then?"
Ianto nodded. "Maybe, once this job is done. I'd like that." He replied. They both stood up, Jack keeping a soft hold of Ianto's hand.
"I meant what I said. I do love you."
Ianto just looked at him with intense longing and closing his eyes he brushed a kiss to Jack's forehead. Jack enfolded him in a gentle embrace a hand roaming through Ianto's soft hair. Ianto finally slid his arms around Jack's waist leaning into his body and holding on as tightly as he could not wanting to ever have to let go. It took him a moment to realise that Jack was whispering soothingly to him in Welsh and Ianto smiled because it sounded funny with the American accent. Reluctantly Ianto eventually eased himself from Jack's embrace.
"I need to get those things from the archives." He said. The spell broken Jack took a pace back.
"Yeah, of course. Get Tosh to help you, make sure everything that you need is working……."
He was interrupted mid sentence by the phone on his desk ringing. Jack sighed and turned to answer it and Ianto took that as his cue to leave the office.