*Hey, this one's a pretty quick story I thought of, and it was incredibly easy to write, but I had trouble figuring out where and how to end it. Hopefully I executed this fanfic as well as possible.

Accidental Guardian
OR
The Road to the Afterlife is Paved with NOPE:

When Neji died, he met his father.

Hizashi crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow; a look Neji often gave his friends. He'd never known that expression was all his father's. "You have some explaining to do," Hizashi had said. "I was hoping not to see you for another fifty years at least. Seventeen is too young. Far too young, but I guess there was no stopping you." Neji blinked and frowned, confused.

"Oh," he realized, "I'm dead for sure then?" Hizashi smiled sadly.

"Yes. You never do anything halfway, even when it comes to dying." Neji held his head, straining to remember his last moments. It came to him in a rush of images and feelings.

"I saved them, right?" he asked, unsure. Hizashi dropped all pretenses and hugged his son close.

"You did. All of your friends made it through the battle thanks to you. You did well, Neji. You died well too."

"I missed you, Chichiue."

"I missed you too, son."

Neji didn't mind death so much. The afterlife was hard to get a grip on. Just when he thought he understood where he was, he'd be somewhere else. He was told that once his "soul settled down," he'd start perceiving things as they truly were, but for now, his environment was a big white expanse of glowing nothingness. Apparently, it was pretty normal to be in the state he was in. People who died young and violently were stuck in chaos for a bit longer than most others. It was purgatory. He would be able to truly pass on and be with his loved ones when his soul was ready. It was different for every person, and it could take any amount of time for it to happen, but time really didn't matter. He had no deadline. He had all of eternity to figure things out.

Once, while he was wandering around in the weird white void, he watched another soul start to appear.

It was Naruto.

Neji panicked and ran over to him. "No! No! There's no way! I'll kill him if he even tries to—" Neji tackled Naruto to the ground before he could fully form in the afterlife.

Naruto looked at him with huge clear blue eyes. "…N…Neji?"

"Yes!" he responded indignantly. "It's me. Now get the hell out of here!" Naruto didn't listen. Instead he threw his arms around the brunette laughing.

"Neji!" he cried happily. "Wait, if you're here then…I'm dead?"

"No. You are not dead. I refuse. You are not allowed to be dead yet!"

"Wait, I'm not? Says who!"

"Says me! Get the fuck out of here! Go back to the living world and try staying alive for awhile!"

"Wait! Wait! Aren't we supposed to be in like a meadow or something? Aren't you supposed to offer me a choice?!"

"Nope. No meadow. No choice. You're not dying yet. I won't let you. Now get the fuck out!" Neji pushed Naruto with all his might, and Naruto disappeared out of the afterlife. Neji let out a sigh of relief. "That better not happen again," he grumbled.

Meanwhile in the living world, Naruto nearly hacked up a lung, coughing up blood. Sasuke and Sakura were next to him. The former was screaming at him to stay awake, while the latter tried to heal as much as she could. He coughed up more blood but grinned and gave a weak thumbs-up. Naruto took in his surroundings and saw the remnants of Team Gai. Perfect.

"Guys," he started, coughing up more blood.

"Don't try and speak!" cried Sakura. Naruto didn't listen.

"I saw Neji," Naruto managed, a huge smile on his face before passing out.

Neji had been trying to relax, lying down for a bit when he saw Shikamaru. It was the same as with Naruto. Shikamaru wasn't quite there yet. There was still time. Neji got on his feet and ran towards his friend. He grabbed Shikamaru by the collar forcefully and hoisted him up.

"What the hell are you doing here?! What happened!? If you cross over now, I'll never let you rest in peace!" Strangely enough, Shikamaru smiled.

"Neji…Naruto told me about…but I didn't believe it until now. To be honest, I kinda expected my dad or Asuma." Neji put Shikamaru down, but didn't let go of his collar, just to be safe.

"I haven't seen your dad around. Same with Asuma. They might be here, but I got to you first."

"What the hell does that mean?" Neji smiled. He'd always liked Shikamaru.

"Trust me. It's not worth explaining. What's the extent of your injuries?"

"Trust me. It's not worth explaining," Shikamaru mocked. Neji smacked him in the face. "OW! Fine. I'm pretty fucked up and poisoned if I remember right. Probably some broken bones, and yeah, bleeding out. That's about it." Neji seemed to ponder this for a second.

"Nope. Not good enough. You're going back. Try again next time, Nara." With that he shoved Shikamaru as hard as he could, and Shikamaru fell back into the living world.

Shikamaru found himself getting healed by Ino as Choji shoved an antivenin down his throat. Both his teammates looked frantic and crazed as they tried to keep him alive. He realized he was lying in Temari's lap as she shouted curse words at him and told him to stay alive or else. He grinned showing his bloody teeth. "Don't worry," he managed in a rasp. "Neji won't let me die…" He then passed out, but later after regaining consciousness, he revealed what he had seen. Everyone had to wonder: was Neji looking out for them all?

Neji started to see flashes of what he thought might be the afterlife. He guessed he was getting closer to "settling his soul" whatever the fuck that meant. He was sitting and contemplating this when he saw a figure in the distance. He knew that figure. He'd recognize it anywhere.

It was Tenten.

Neji ran as fast as he could. She was so close to dying. He could feel it. He ended up executing a baseball slide to add to his speed and managed to trip Tenten before she could completely manifest herself in this place. She fell backwards with a shocked cry.

"What the hell, Neji!?" she screamed furiously. For a moment, it was they were twelve again, and Neji had tripped her while they were sparring. Then she remembered herself. Neji was dead. Neji had been dead for years. She realized that both of them had tumbled over and were now lying side-by-side. It really was like they were kids again.

"Hey, Ten," Neji greeted breathlessly. He was still panting from both the exertion of his frantic sprint and the anxiety that he wouldn't get there fast enough.

"Is this a dream?" Tenten asked, sitting up and staring right into those gorgeous white eyes that she missed everyday.

"No," Neji replied simply.

"Am I dead?" Neji shook his head.

"No, you're not dead, but you're close. What happened?"

Tenten shrugged. "I dunno. I can't remember anything. I think I was fighting…yeah, definitely fighting. Lee and I were back-to-back. He'd just knocked out a good number of enemy shinobi when…OH! That's right!"

"What? What happened?" Tenten grinned.

"It was too late to stop the attack. I can't remember what it was, but it was definitely some kind of ninjutsu. It was heading straight for Lee, so I did the only thing I could think of and jumped in front of him. I guess I let the whole thing hit me, like a badass." Neji sat up as well.

"That's a hell of a way to die, but you're not dead yet and I'm not about to let you cross over. No way." He stood up, giving Tenten a hand. She hugged him.

"I miss you. I miss you so much, Neji!"

"I miss you too, but I won't let you die. Not until you're an old lady." She smacked him. "No, I'm serious. Either you're dying of old age, or you're dying because you just saved the entire village from destruction somehow, and bards start telling legends about you. Until then, you're not dying on my watch." Tenten was speechless and tearing up. Neji knew he had to get her out of here before he lost the will power to send her back. "Bye, Ten. Tell everyone 'Hi' for me." With that he practically tackled her out of the afterlife.

Tenten awoke in a hospital room. She was choking on something, but a medic and a few nurses came in quickly and removed the tube from her throat. A nurse handed her a cup of water, which she drank greedily. As she reoriented herself, she saw all the wires from IVs and electrodes covering her body. She tried to move her legs and arms, but found it very difficult, which she knew meant she had been out for a long time. She accepted another cup of water as the medic checked her over for any neurological abnormalities.

It was then that she saw two near identical men rush into the room. She smiled. Lee and Gai-sensei. Both were crying and hugging her and babbling. Lee started apologizing saying it was all his fault, so she punched him across the room. She winced as the muscles in her arm cramped up, but the punch had been well worth it. She managed to gather that she'd been in a coma for at least a month, maybe six weeks. Once Gai and Lee had calmed down enough, she smiled brilliantly and said, "Neji says 'Hi'."

Neji had expected to see one of his other teammates soon given how Team Gai was notorious for almost dying and in one case actually dying. He was wandering around. The afterlife had been becoming clearer and clearer. He would be able to leave soon, but he wanted to stick around and make sure none of his friends died young and brutally like him. At some point, while lost in thought, he heard a dog bark. He snapped to attention, thinking he was going to see Kiba, but Kiba wasn't there. Instead, Akamaru came bounding over excitedly. He could see Akamaru as clear as day. That's how he knew that there was no saving this dog. He was already dead. Neji sat down with Akamaru, happy for the company but sad that Akamaru left the world before his best friend and partner did. Neji had never imagined Kiba without Akamaru and vice versa, but a dog's lifespan was nowhere near that of a human. Even a nin-dog like Akamaru, but from the looks of it, Akamaru had lived a long, full life. Knowing this dog, he probably outlived all other dogs and had been the oldest nin-dog to ever live.

He looked to Akamaru. Neji knew that Akamaru could understand his words, but there was no way that he could understand Akamaru's responses. That didn't stop him from trying. He found himself asking something he'd never even thought about before. "Akamaru, did you end up having puppies?" Akamaru barked and Neji knew it was in the affirmative. "That's good. Kiba's probably very sad, but at least he can raise your pups." Akamaru barked again. Neji wasn't quite sure what the bark meant, but it sounded bittersweet.

Neji told Akamaru to leave and go find peace, but that dog was stubborn and refused to leave Neji's side. After a long time had passed (though, there was no way of accurately measuring time in this place), Neji decided that Akamaru didn't want to leave Neji alone in this place.

"Ok," he told the nin-dog. "You can stay if you want, but only until we see Kiba and he's old and gray. Right?" Akamaru barked happily.

It was a long time before Neji saw anyone else. At least, he thought it was a long time. For all he knew, time could be running backwards in this bizarre place. The Afterlife had evolved in strange ways over time. If was still misty, but there were some winding paths now and structures all around him. He could swear that on occasion he would see the shadows of people walking by him. It was really unnerving, but Neji knew that it would only become clearer. Plus, he had Akamaru to keep him company.

He was lying next to said dog, trying to make out shapes in the distorted, swirling sky, when he felt the world shift, and it wasn't because his soul was "settling." He looked up only to see a familiar face in the distance, but his stomach bottomed out when he realized it was too late. He ran to the figure as fast as his legs would carry him. There had to be some mistake. There had to be something he could do, but when he finally saw Maito Gai in all his glory, he knew anything he tried would be far too little and far too late.

"Gai-sensei?" Gai glanced his way, staring at Neji as though he couldn't make sense of what he was seeing, but then everything clicked, and he knew exactly where he was and why.

"Neji…are you real?" Neji was dumbstruck for a moment, having never heard Gai speak in such a small voice. The younger man nodded slowly.

Then the moment passed and Gai-sensei had Neji in bone-crushing hug, as he cried about the joy of seeing his precious student, who was so tragically killed in the prime of his youth, and for Neji, all was right with the world. He couldn't help but laugh. He hadn't seen the antics of Maito Gai in far too long. Neji found himself actually shedding a tear or two himself.

He and Gai sat down and talked for a long time. They came to the conclusion that the reason Neji hadn't seen Gai until it was too late was because the larger-than-life man had opened all eight gates. No medical ninjutsu could save him from the death gate. Gai told him how hard it was for the team to move on from seeing Neji die right in front of them.

"It took years, and even then the team was never the same. How could we after we'd lost our resident genius?" He'd clasped a hand around Neji's shoulder as if to emphasize that Neji really had been "their genius." He told Neji how hard Lee had taken his death and how Tenten put on a brave face but missed him more than anyone. The two had eventually gotten married and had a son named Metal. Neji couldn't be more thrilled to hear it. He had been worried about Lee's response to losing Gai-sensei, but Tenten would always be there to talk him down and he had his own kid to worry about anyway.

"Losing you felt like losing a son," Gai confessed. Neji thought about that for a while as they basked in each other's presences. He had only known his father for four years before losing him. He knew his uncle tried to be there for him as a father figure, but Neji was never able to equate Hiashi with Hizashi despite the fact that they were identical in appearance. No, he met his real surrogate father when he was twelve, and it took him nearly three years to realize it. He realized that Maito Gai did everything a father was meant to do. He embarrassed Neji in public, he was there to brag when Neji became a jounin, he dealt with Neji's attitude and tried to get him to change his negative outlook, he always stood a little bit further in front of Neji even while they were fighting "side-by-side," and Neji would never forget who was at his bedside every time he was hospitalized, whether it be an injury from a mission or because some prick from the Main House activated his seal.

After thinking on it for a while, Neji replied, "I missed you too, Dad." Gai then ruined the moment by once again tightly embracing Neji and shedding manly tears.

Gai was very reluctant to leave Neji, but the latter would have none of that. He knew that Gai saw a clear path that Neji could not, and he knew that Gai needed to follow that path, and when things cleared up for Neji, he too would walk the path in front of him.

The chaos was beginning to form order, and Neji knew that his time in Purgatory would soon be over. He wasn't sure what was out there in the Afterlife, but he planned on seeing all of it.

He was scratching Akamaru's belly when he saw her, and he had never before moved as fast as he did then. He found himself crying out her name as he ran to stop her from crossing over.

"Hinata-sama!"

He thanked every deity ever imagined that he got to her in time. He literally tackled her to the ground before she could fully form. For what felt like an eternity, they stared at each other. He took in her appearance and realized just how much time had passed. She was a woman now, probably close to twice his age, and she was beautiful. Both of them sat up, still staring.

"Neji…nii-san…?" He nodded dumbly, and she threw herself at him. She was babbling about how long it had been since she'd seen him and how there were so many things she never got the chance to tell him. He laughed and did what he always did when she became hysterical. He held her at a distance and looked her straight in the eye. He grinned broadly, something he rarely did in life.

"Hello, Hinata-sama, I've missed you." She laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"After all this time, you still call me '-sama'."

The smile never quite left his face as he changed his greeting. "I really have missed you, Hinata." She beamed, tears still in her eyes, and held his face in her hands.

"You haven't aged a day," she murmured. Neji shrugged.

"Did you really expect me to?" She hugged him tight.

"I suppose not. You have no idea how much I've missed you."

"Tell me everything," he practically demanded. Hinata told him how in death he had brought her and Naruto together. How they had gotten married and had two children together. How Naruto had become Hokage like he'd always dreamed. Both of them were crying by the time she was finished.

"…When I was pregnant with Boruto, we had planned on naming him after you, but he ended up looking so much like Naruto and we just couldn't bring ourselves to name him after you. It just didn't suit him. Naruto said, 'If we have a baby that figures out how to mold chakra in the womb, then we can name them after Neji. Neji's a genius after all. It would be cruel to name any baby after him. What if they felt like they had to be a prodigy to live up to his name? No one needs that kind of pressure.'"

Neji laughed, "I'm happy for you two, and I wish I could've met Boruto and Himawari, but I don't plan on seeing them for at least a century. No one gets killed at my age on my watch, and you have a family to go back to."

"Not yet, Nii-san! Let me stay just a little bit longer." Neji chuckled.

"No can do." With that he pushed his favorite cousin back into the living world where she belonged.

Hinata awoke with a start, wanting to tell Naruto all about her meeting with Neji, but that's when she remembered just where her husband was. She saw Sakura nearby.

"Sakura! What happened?" Sakura gazed at her seriously.

"That freakshow took Naruto, and you honestly had him on the ropes before he managed to take you down. Sasuke is going with the four other kages to rescue him." Hinata nodded resolutely.

"I'm going too." She immediately headed for the roof despite Sakura's cries that she needed rest. On the roof, she saw Boruto looking so much like his father that she knew that he was going with, and there was nothing she could do to stop him. As she watched them go, she thought of Neji.

"Neji-nii-san," she found herself praying, "I don't know if you can even hear me, but please, please make sure they both come back alive."

Neji could hear her. He could hear her loud and clear. "Well, Akamaru, looks like we're on guard duty again."

*Fin

I guess. I thought that felt like a good place to end it. For those who don't know, that last part was a reference to Boruto the movie. I'm not a huge fan of it, but I thought the idea of Hinata kicking ass was awesome. Hope you enjoyed!