Outside The Fire.
Olivia's POV. Post INTOXICATED fic
Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or this song, which is "standing outside the fire" by Garth Brooks.
A/N: Hmmm I sort of like this one. Im trying to improve my SVU characters by taking them one at a time. I think Olivia turned out ok but i think i made her slightly darker then what she is. Reviews and constructive critisim in loved.

We call them cool
Those hearts who have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go

I didn't kill my mother, but I know what its like to want to.
That night I kicked her into the wall scared me so much I ran.
Olivia Benson ran. Away.
I identified, sympathised, emphasised and any other "sised" there is with Carrie.
She WAS me, everything I saw that day was everything I remembered.
Everything I saw had a scar to match.

But you got to be tough when consumed by desire
Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire

From my childhood, or lack thereof, I formed myself. I formed my career.
I re-invented myself. I was tough, the "Ice Queen" of SVU.
You had to be tough when you were an SVU detective.
Hell, you had to be tough to survive.

We call them strong
Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall

We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exsist
And for that forsake it all

The ones we call strong are the ones who don't need help to face the world.
The ones who never fall.
People often tell me im too strong.
I don't believe them.
Im bitterly broken.
The strength is just a mask, and even that is beginning to crack.

We call them weak, the ones who believe in love.
I think that is far from the truth.
It's them who have to be the strongest.
They're the ones who put their hearts on the line.
Elliot Stabler is one of those people.
And he's not weak; he's the strongest man I've ever met.

They're so hell-bent on giving
Walking a wire
Convinced it's not living
If you stand outside the fire

Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire

The thing is I don't stand outside the fire.
I stand in the damn middle of it and I've been in the fire since the day I was born.
I've got the burn marks to prove it.
And every day I survived.

There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to glide higher and higher
I can't abide standing outside the fire

I used to think I didn't know how to love, or what love is.
I know what it is, I know how to show it. Just not very well.
The day I told me mother I was engaged she came at me with a jagged edge of a vodka bottle, screaming that she'd never let any one else have me.
I guess in some twisted way she loved me, only when she was sober though.
She was a lousy mother when she was drunk.
She was a lousy anything when she was drunk.

Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried it's just merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire

I often wondered if I would survive my teenage years.
If I would actually have a life that was worth living.
Life has tried me, and I survived.
Well, the part I've lived anyway.

Life is not tried it's just merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire

FIN