Moments Between Sleep

one.

"Wake up, Isaac… please, wake up…"

My hands shake my brother's body, oh so gently. Even in his current state, I try my best to not hurt him, but I can't help it. I want him to open his eyes and tell me he's all right. I just want everything to be the way it used to be. That seems like an impossibility, but could this really be the end? He's only seven years old. His life can't be over. I stroke his pale cheek and watch him sleep. He doesn't wake up, like usual. I've been visiting almost daily for the past year, and if nothing changed before, why would he get up now?

Maelle says he's good as dead, but I don't listen to her. She might've been friends with him before, but I don't believe a word that … female duck says. It's like it's always that time of the month for her. But maybe—just maybe—she's right, and the more I think about it, the more the hopes I hold close to my heart crumble. My gaze falls on my brother's serene face again… then the moisture on my cheeks and the splatters soaking into his shirt tell me I'm losing it. He would wake up not today, not tomorrow, but someplace else where life in this world loses all meaning. Maelle might be a horrible person, but she's right.

Isaac's steady breathing tells me he was still with me here for now, and I guess that's all that matters in this moment. I just… can't lose him. We came here when we wanted to leave our parents, our worries, and our world behind… and now he's all I have left. I spend most of my time in my own town, Tourmaline, while Isaac stays here in Topaz, but it's when I sit here at his bed that I feel lonelier than ever.

"You shouldn't be in your bed all day, Isaac," I tell him, "You still have a world of experiences out there waiting for you. You know… mom always said you were going to grow up to be quite the looker."

The truth is, she didn't. She didn't have to; it was obvious enough. My eyes linger on his face; he sleeps like an angel. He's just one of those kids that were blessed with godly genes. Born to be an athlete, a flawless face, sapphire eyes… he's perfect. Then there's me. Alice, the socially awkward girl. Alice, the loser that needs to wear makeup to barely scrape a seven. Alice, the girl whose friend jumped off the roof of the auditorium. It's really not a surprise that I wanted an escape. Isaac, however, didn't really want to come here. I shouldn't sit here by his sleeping body and hope he'll come back, because he won't. He's a child, and our worlds are completely different. I'm still here, but he's moved on. I don't blame him either. He has a good life, and he shouldn't have to waste it away with me. Ten years from now, he'll have all the girls he could ever want.

If he'd only wake up…

I sit by his side for a little longer, but eventually even hoping gets tiring. I slink back out of his house, feeling worse than I did before (which says a lot, considering). With Isaac gone, I really don't want anything else to do in this town, so I make a beeline for the gate. Who knows? Maybe I give up. Maybe I won't be coming through here tomorrow.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see Maple. She and I used to be really good friends back when she lived in Tourmaline, but when she left I thought she was gone forever. Did I really not notice her being here, despite all the visits I've been making over the past two months? I want to run up to her, scream and hug her tightly, but I can't. Not now. Not like this. She'd probably know how to make me feel better, but I don't want to bother her with my burdens again. In our friendship, it really seems like that's all I've ever accomplished.

Please don't see me… please don't see me…

I hurry towards the gate. Oh well, she'll understand. It's not like a day is going to make a difference after it's been this long. I make a mental note to visit her when I'm not feeling like killing myself, and then I enter the gaping archway at the edge of town. Like usual, that preppy dog is at his post, but I'm in no mood to deal with him right now. He appears to be zoning out, but when he hears my sneakers striking the cobble floor, he comes back to reality.

"How was he today, Alice?" he asks. I don't answer. Copper should know how Isaac was anyway; we've gone through this conversation way too many times for me to bother. I shoot him a grumpy glare, and he nods in embarrassment as I leave Topaz. It's really a shame he only sees me like this. If I weren't always in such a bad mood, we could be friends. He seems to be nice enough, despite his normally sour face. Nothing like the Copper in my town, at least.

Instinctively, I whip my umbrella out before I'm fully outside. And no, it's not because I like to show off my black umbrella. The ocean is literally falling from the sky just outside town, despite there being clear skies inches from the gate… but that's just how it is here, and I'm used to it. There's no taxi to take me back this time either. It's fine. I don't want a ride anyway. I huddle my arms, shivering, and I head in the direction of my home. I don't care if the sun is still far from setting… I want to curl up and die in a bed of my own.

Maybe then they'll know how I feel.

Authors Note:

So this is my newest fanfic... started in March 2012. It's... different, I guess. I don't necessarily love it, but it's better quality-wise than my other stories, I suppose. I've always had an interest in both present tense and second-person narration, but since I don't want to write a story in second-person, this is what I came up with.

I don't know if this story is worth continuing, but I guess I'll keep it going while I still can. We'll get into plot a few chapters later... for now it's just going to be intro stuffs.