It was a rainy day, he thought, as he looked through the window.
Almost reflecting his feelings inside.
Metropolis was a beautiful town. Too grey and dark sometimes, but still, a nice place to live.
It was sad that he had to leave. It was, after all, the place where he had lived for almost a year. And what a year it had been.
In that period of time, he had a lot of adventures. Adventures that always seemed to be connected, somehow, with a certain farm boy that lived in Smallville, a tiny, yet adorable, town, near Metropolis.
Smallville.
Oliver Queen sighed.
In that period of time, he had also accomplished his mission. Well, at least a very good part of it.
He had come to Metropolis to try to find other ones that had abilities like him, and that were willing to help people and to stand for certain values and virtues. At first, the headmaster of Queen Industries had thought that Lex Luthor was gifted like him. However, it turned out that Lex's "powers" had been an accident. A temporary accident.
That didn't completely disappoint him, though. Oliver couldn't help but feel a bit relieved; he and Lex weren't exactly on good terms since their High School times, especially after their friend Duncan's death.
But it wasn't a waste of time. His time in Metropolis and his adventures as his alter ego, Green Arrow, had resulted in a meeting with somebody else even more talented. Naturally talented, Oliver must say.
Clark Kent was the nicest man Oliver had ever met. And yet, the weirdest.
Of course, Clark had helped him to get in touch with young "heroes" he had previously met, like Bart Allen, Victor Stone and Arthur Curry. With them, Oliver could set an agreement, through several meetings, that they shouldn't keep separated anymore. It shouldn't be like that, everyone in their own places, using their abilities to do whatever they'd thought it was right. They should unite and stand up for justice. They should create a league.
Clark Kent, on the other hand, hadn't exactly agreed with this. He and Oliver had some distinctions when it came to values and virtues, and even though Clark agreed with the fact they all should stand for justice, he didn't join the league.
Oliver sighed.
He knew Clark was meant for something bigger. Everytime he looked at that man, he got that feeling. He wasn't too worried about Clark not joining the league. Oliver knew that, at some point, Clark would end up doing it. He just had to embrace his destiny and let go of the bond that tied him to his family and friends. He had to aim higher. Then, he would see things as a whole piece. A whole piece of a big puzzle that needed their help.
Oliver smiled a bit as another particular puzzle came into his mind.
In addition to all that, Oliver had met the most incredible woman he had ever met until now.
Lois Lane was sure unique. She was funny, sarcastic, comprehensive, yet stubborn, feisty, smart, tempestuous and amazingly charming.
He would never forget when she spent weeks without talking to him. She never quite told him why, but Oliver could tell, by the way she had been acting, that she had found out he was, in fact, the Green Arrow, whose identity she had been incessantly fussing around to discover. He was kind of expecting Lois to yell the hell out of her, since she had one hell of a quick tongue. But she didn't. She just didn't speak to him for five awful weeks.
And then, last night, she had suddenly popped up at his apartment, looking a bit guilty and saying that she was sorry she had spent so much time without talking to him. She simply said that "whatever it was that he was covering", she knew that if he had kept it a secret, he had his reasons. That she just wanted him to know that he could trust her and he didn't have to hide it from her.
That was when he had sure she was such a marvelous woman.
And that was also when he knew he had to end things between them:
Oliver had asked what had made her talk to him again. And even now, that he knew ending things had been the best solution, a part of him was wishing he never had.
Lois told him that Clark had been dropping by her apartment more than usual, during the past five weeks. And everytime he did, they talked, and he seemed about to tell her something, then he just walked away before saying anything. She was already starting to freak out when the day before, Clark finally said what he had been struggling to say. Or not to say.
He had told her to talk to Oliver again. To forgive him, whatever it was that she had found out. Not to let that get between them, if she really cared about him.
Oliver was very surprised by this. He and Clark got along, but they weren't exactly the best of friends. He was really surprised by how Clark had done it for him. Until Oliver realized: he hadn't done it for him. He had done it for Lois.
Oliver knew Clark could have told her that whenever he wanted to. But he had hesitated five weeks to come in his defense. To help Lois to make things right between her and a guy who lied to her for almost an year.
Oliver shook his head slightly.
He wasn't sure if he would have done the same thing. He would probably have left things follow their own path. But Clark didn't. He had helped Lois to forgive Oliver. And he had done it for her. Not for Oliver. For her.
And Lois? Well, she waited a whole day before talk to him, which could only mean that she had reflected a lot about whatever conversation she had with Clark. Oliver knew Lois wasn't a girl to stop and reflect. If she had done that, it was because she wasn't sure. She wasn't sure if she should be with him. He could see it in her eyes, and not only after the past five weeks. In fact, Oliver could see something else in her eyes. Someone else. Someone that Lois seemed to be completely oblivious to, even if he was constantly the topic on the conversations that she started. Even if he and Lois shared those disturbing glances and call each other by pet names, that no one else could understand but them. Even if they seemed to finish each other's thoughts in way that, honestly, Oliver thought it was a bit creepy. Even if they seemed to complete one another.
Clark Kent and Lois Lane were the kind of persons that were so busy worrying about they should feel about each other that they didn't even stop to think about how they truly feel.
To be honest, Oliver had a pretty damn good idea right about now. Unlike them. They were so blinded it was almost insufferable to stay in the same room with them. The megawatt smiles they shared, the occasional and apparently unbeknownst touching, and they didn't even notice it. It was quite frustrating.
It was also frustrating for Oliver to know that only Lois's mind and body were in their relationship. But her heart wasn't.
And if her heart wasn't, there was no point in keep dating.
Because of that, he had ended it.
"What's with the puppy-dog-smile?" Lois asked. She was standing in front of him now. Oliver just shook his head, his smile growing a bit wider. Lois started to be irritated. "I came here to apologize and to tell you that you can trust me and you do that? Well, I guess we can keep a few more weeks without speaking to each other." He was no longer smiling. "Well, no need to go all smart-smiles on me, Oliver, I'm leaving."
She turned around and headed for the door. Oliver took a deep breath and finally said what he was trying to say.
"No. I'M leaving."
Lois stopped in the exact same spot she was. Then, she slowly turned around to him. His hands on his pockets, Oliver watched Lois with an unreadable face.
"Excuse me?" she asked, sure that she hadn't heard well.
"I said that I'm leaving." he repeated. " I'm going back to Star City."
Lois just faced him for a long time. Then, she laughed. She laughed in a way that ripped Oliver's heart in the middle.
"That's gotta be a joke. I come here, ready to set things straight, and you tell me you're leaving. Gotta be a joke, I don't believe it---"
"Lois…"
"---that would be really stupid---"
"Lois…"
"---It's not that funny, you know, 'cause for a moment I actually thought you were serious, and---"
"Lois."
She looked at him and stopped laughing. "You're not joking, are you?"
Oliver shook his head. "I don't think this is working, Lois."
Lois merely faced him. "Are you breaking up with me?"
He nodded, a weird knot on his throat not letting him talk. Lois laughed a bit again and threw herself at the couch next to her.
"That's perfect. That's just perfect. Here I am, pouring my heart out to you and letting you in---"
"You've never let me in, Lois." Oliver managed to say. She looked up at him.
"What do you mean I've never let you in? I'm here now, aren't I?" Lois pointed to herself, exasperated.
"You pretend to let me in. But deep inside, you're not sure you want to. Because you're not sure about this. About us."
After a few seconds of astonishment, Lois rolled her eyes, angrily. "Well, if you think you know me so well, tell me why the hell did I come here tonight to try to make things right?!"
"Because Clark told you to."
That shut Lois for several minutes. "Okay," she started, confused. "So, basically, you're implying that Smallville boss me around?"
Oliver couldn't help but snort a bit. "No." he answered. "I'm implying that he has much more influence over your feelings that you admit it."
Other several minutes.
"Meaning?" she stood up, crossing her arms around her chest, walking towards him.
"Lois, if you REALLY wanted to talk to me again, you would have came by on your own, really sooner." Oliver explained. He didn't quite feel like having this conversation with her. But if he was going to break-up, he needed to give a good reason. And the reason he was about to give was one hell of a good one.
"Well, I'm here, isn't that enough?" asked Lois, frustrated.
"No, it's not." he said, a bit impressed with his own serenity. "You didn't come here because you want. You did it because you had a conversation with Clark, that probably made some unrevealed feelings finally come to the surface, and it freaked you out. Then, you spent a day wondering about what the hell you should do with them, and, freaking out even more, you decided to hide them again, decided to go back to an 'easier' relationship, me, where nothing like a big friendship is being risked."
Now, the time she stayed on silence could had been hours. All she could do was face him.
"You… don't know what you're talking about." started Lois, dangerously. It didn't intimidate him.
"Don't I? Is that why I see fear in your eyes? What are you so afraid of, Lois? That someone like Clark finally crossed your walls in a way no one has ever been able to do it before?"
"Shut up! SHUT-UP!" she yelled. Oliver could see tears in her eyes. They both turned around as there was a noise on the door. Oliver's secretary had timidly put the head inside the door.
"Hmm… Mr. Queen? Is everything allright?"
"Everything's fine, Miss Hubert." Oliver said, coolly. " Close the door, please."
The secretary nodded and left, closing it.
Oliver turned back to Lois. The little interruption had made her wipe her tears and put her invincible mask again. She walked closer to him, pointing a finger to his face.
"Look. You don't know what you're saying. Clark… has nothing to do with this." She moistened her lips, nervously. "I know what you're implying. So don't even go there. It's stupid. Clark and I are very good friends. That's all. You have nothing to do with our relation-friendship---" she quickly corrected herself, what made Oliver smile. "Just as Clark has nothing to do with ours. Now, I came here to try to make things right so we can work. But if you say you're leaving and you break up with me, I wanna know the hell WHY."
"You're heart's not in it, Lois." said Oliver, sadly and simply.
"And how on Earth can you tell that??" Lois asked, her voice high-pitched.
"I just can. Lois, when we're together, I feel like you're somewhere else. With someone else. And it's not just the past days. It has been a long time now."
Lois bit back on her molars. "Give me reasons. REAL reasons."
"You know, I find it very interesting…" started Oliver, smartly, turning away from her. "That during all your 'you-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about' tirade, you never denied it."
Lois sighed, tired. "There's NOTHING to deny, allright? Wanna break up with me? Fine. But don't say things you don't know anything about."
"It's different when you look at it from the outside-perspective, Lois." Oliver said. "You should try it."
They stood in silence for a long time. Finally, Lois changed the subject. "When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow night."
Lois gulped, nodding and looking at the floor. Oliver clenched his lips and walked towards her.
"Can I give you a hug or you're still too angry at me?"
She looked up at him, smiling a bit.
He held her.
"I'll miss you." he said.
"So will I." she answered.
He pulled away.
"I just want you to know that I don't regret the time I spent with you." he said. " You have an incredible heart, Lois." She opened her mouth to start talking, but he didn't let her. "It just doesn't belong to me."
She sighed.
Oliver smiled and kissed her on the lips one last time. It didn't surprise him, but it still hurt when she didn't kiss him back.
"I'm sorry." she said, with a few tears in her eyes.
"It's okay."
They smiled a bit to each other. Lois, then, started to walk towards the door. He turned around. He didn't want to see her leaving.
"Oliver?"
He turned to her. She was standing at the door, about to go out.
"Yes?" he answered.
"Just so you know…" she started, with a smart smile. "I'll never tell anyone."
He had never meant to hurt Lois. Never. He cared about her a lot. Truth was: he had fallen for her.
He could have just kept dating her. He could have kept the lie for another several months. Possibly years, who knows?
Oliver just knew it was too painful for him to look at her and see that face reflected in her hazel eyes.
He smiled a bit as he remembered how oblivious Clark and Lois were to each other. They were so alike, yet so different.
But he was sure that it had been the right thing to do. And he was also sure that after the denial-phase went by, they'd lose the fear of their feelings and admit they were falling in love.
Seriously falling in love.
Or you know what? Maybe they already were.
But now, enough with that. Oliver smiled. He still had to say goodbye to Clark. And he was just going to save some of his 'wisdom' to their conversation.
"You know, you seem to hang out a lot around here."
Clark turned around from his loft's window and saw Oliver Queen standing there, smiling.
"Yeah." he said, without smiling back. "It's quite like my own fortress of solitude."
Oliver noticed the slight cold tone on his voice. And Clark could have many reasons for using that.
"Look, Clark, I know you're still upset at me because I've been being a pain in the ass, trying to convince you to join our league." Oliver started, and Clark nodded. "I'm sorry. But I just think that with your abilities, you could do a lot more for the world than you already do."
"I know that, Oliver. But how I will do that, it's my decision to make." Clark answered, with the same tone.
"You're still upset," he observed. "It's okay. I didn't come here to convince you to join it. I came here to say goodbye."
Clark's cold face melted and turned into a surprised one. "Goodbye? You're leaving?"
"Yes." said Oliver. They stood in silence for a moment, a rush of thoughts passing by Clark's mind. He had set things up for him and Lois. Why the hell Oliver was going to leave?
"Why?" asked Clark, as a mirror of his own thoughts.
"There's nothing else for me to do around here anymore." Oliver simply answered, putting his hands on his pockets and visibly trying to sound as much emotionless as possible.
Clark frowned. "What about Lois?"
"I broke up with her."
"What?"
Clark felt a gust of anger running through his veins. He had that sort of awkward and clarifying conversation with Lois to try to help the couple, and now Oliver told him he had broken up with her?
"I broke up with her." Oliver repeated, watching Clark carefully.
"Why on Earth did you do that???" he said, exasperated. "She forgave you, didn't she? She apologized!"
"Yes." agreed Oliver, walking towards Clark now. "But she didn't do it because she wanted to."
"That's Lois we're talking about. If she didn't want to, she would never had done it." said Clark, coldly again. Oliver smiled.
"It's amazing how, even being best friends, when things get to certain areas, you seem not to know her at all." he pointed. Clark just kept frowning. "Clark, I don't know what exactly you two talked about the night before she went to talk to me." Oliver started, walking towards the window, standing with his back turned at Clark, now. "But I can tell you: if you hadn't said whatever you said, she would've come to me that suddenly."
"And why would that be?" asked Clark, a bit challengingly. He wasn't sure if he liked the way that conversation was going. "Oliver, you two had a great relationship---"
"Oh, we had a great chemistry." he interrupted. "We really had. And our relationship was good, believe me. There was only one problem. A big problem."
"What's that?"
Oliver smiled sadly as he turned to Clark. "Her heart wasn't in it."
Silence.
"Remember when I first met you?" he suddenly asked. Clark nodded. Where exactly was he going with that? "I didn't say people hide feelings under sarcasm for no reason, Clark."
Oh no. He certainly wasn't implying that…
Was he?
Oliver almost laughed as he saw the rush of feelings that passed by Clark's eyes. A mix of fear, surprise, hesitation… and guilt.
"Lois hides her feelings and locks herself inside those walls of her because, apparently, she has never met anyone worthy enough to cross them." Clark just looked at Oliver. "But when you are around her? It's like you can crack them down with just a look."
"You… don't know what you're saying."
Now Oliver deliberately laughed as he recalled of Lois telling him the exact same thing. They were so different and so alike in the same time.
"Don't laugh!" said Clark, irritated and shaken, now. "There's nothing going on between Lois and me."
"I never said it was. I merely pointed out a few from the thousand reasons that there are to show that it can happen someday." Clark gulped. Oliver smiled. "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, Clark."
Clark opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of the water. He couldn't respond. Because deep down, he knew there was no argument good enough to retort.
Clark closed his mouth for good and sighed.
During the past months, as the days went by, Clark had surprised himself and Lois growing closer than they had ever been. He also found himself thinking about Lois. More than he knew he should. Suddenly, he realized how much he knew about her, how much she knew about him, and how much they could still get to know each other. Unexpectedly, he found themselves sharing glances for a longer time than usual. Sharing smiles and slight teases, sometimes bantering like there was no world tomorrow – maybe to try cover up whatever it was that it was going on.
Gradually, Clark Kent found himself falling for Lois Lane.
And, as if it wasn't enough, he discovered he found very bothering to see her with Oliver. But it was even harder to see as Lois upset as she was, when she had found out Oliver was Green Arrow all the time.
When she had stopped talking to Oliver, a part of Clark was glad. And that made him feel terrible. Except that he knew the right thing to do was try to help her, convince her to make up with Oliver.
A knock on the already opened door.
"Hey, Lois."
She looked up from the couch. "Smallville?" she stood up. "What the heck are you doing here? It's late!"
"Oh, it's good to see you too, Lois."
She rolled her eyes. "Well, it IS late, and I'm busy."
Clark's eyes looked at the couch. There was a book there. He smiled, never forgetting what he had came to do there, but not missing the opportunity to tease her. "Have you been reading novels, Lois?"
She rolled her eyes again, but quickly picked up the book and put it on the closest drawer she found.
"I've heard reading improves your vocabulary. As a journalist, I need to have a good one." she replied, turning back to him. "So? What brings you here at…" She looked at the watch in the wall of her apartment. "11:30 p.m.?" Clark's face suddenly went serious. Lois caught that. "Smallville? Is everything allright?"
"I'll ask YOU." he said, sitting on the couch, being followed by Lois. "How are things with Oliver?"
Lois's face turned serious. "Not talking to him." she simply said, looking at the other side. After a few moments of silence, Clark gulped.
Even though he knew why she was upset, he asked it anyway. "You know… you never… told me why were you so angry at Oliver all of a sudden."
Lois faced him again.
"He… did some things I didn't like it." she said, in a tone that made him not to ask for anything else. He didn't want to, anyway.
"Oh." he merely said.
Clark knew Oliver was Green Arrow. But Lois didn't know that. And he found it amazing she didn't tell him.
"He just… didn't tell me some things that he should have. Some things about him." said Lois.
"And you found out about those things, didn't you?" pointed Clark. Lois nodded, seriously, seeming absorbed in her own thoughts.
"Yes."
"Did you tell him you know?"
"No."
"And… does those things make you like him less?" asked Clark, trying not to be so urgent. "That's why you stopped talking to him?"
Lois jumped out of her reveries and looked at him. "What? Oh, no, no, that's not the reason." she said. "I just… I mean, it's… they are important things. And I wish he didn't feel he have to hide it from me. Because he doesn't!" Now, Lois started to get angry. "God, he can trust me, why the hell didn't he just say it? Sure, I may not agree with EVERYTHING he does, but I would have supported him anyway!"
Lois suddenly seemed to remember Clark supposedly didn't know Oliver's secret. She stopped talking.
Clark sighed.
"Lois, everyone has to have their secrets."
She looked at him. "Oh, I'm sure you must know that better than anyone." Clark felt a bit uncomfortable under her gaze, but she kept talking. " I just think certain 'secrets' are big enough to be shared with the person you're supposed to trust. I mean, you must also know better than anyone that a relationship where you can't share yourself with the other person does not work."
"Yes." Clark answered. "But it's not like you share yourself completely either. And not just with Oliver."
Lois quickly looked at him. "What was that supposed to mean?"
"Lois, have you ever opened your heart to Oliver?"
"I…" she stopped at the beginning of the sentence and kept opening and closing her mouth. Lois looked down. "Maybe I have my reasons."
Clark moved closer, sitting right in front of her, now. "Maybe he has his own."
Lois looked at him. She suddenly changed the subject. "Why are you protecting him anyway? It's not like you two have been in the best of terms lately." She made a pause. "What happened between you two?"
"Oliver and I have a…" started Clark, frowning a bit. "A little divergence of opinions when it comes to some issues." Lois nodded. "But we're not talking about me." Clark faced her seriously. "Lois, why don't you let him in?"
"Because---!" she started and stopped, like if she couldn't say it out loud.
"Yes?" Clark encouraged her. Lois looked from him to the floor.
"Because… maybe deep down… I don't think he's really the one for me."
Silence.
"Why would that be?" asked Clark, low. Lois was not looking at him.
"I don't really know. I just have this… feeling… like…" Lois looked fixedly to a point in front of her, her eyebrows clenched together. "Like if there's something else. Someone else. Someone I might be… missing." Clark realized he had been holding his breath. He let it go slowly, trying not to make any noise. Lois kept talking. "And I think I might be afraid of letting that feeling go, because I'm also afraid that this person I'm missing might be the one who actually is right for me."
If someone entered right now, this person would probably laugh. Both Clark or Lois were looking at a spot in front of them. Anywhere but each other.
Clark couldn't help but forget a bit he was in a mission.
"Then why are you still with him?" he asked, slowly.
"I care about him. He's a good man." she answered. "And he's hot." They both laughed a bit, but suddenly stopped as their gazes locked into each other's. "But I'm afraid that I might be wrong about this other person. And if I am… Oliver is a nice guy."
Pause.
"See, you just opened up to me. It wasn't that hard, was it?" Clark said, a bit jokingly, but still uneasy. Lois smiled.
"No, Smallville. It wasn't."
They fell into silence, as deep as their gaze into each other's eyes.
Clark wasn't sure about some things either. That was what reminded him of what he had gone to do there.
"If you care about him as much as I think you do…" he started, trying to sound as casual as possible. "You should go and talk to him."
"You really think that?" Lois questioned, facing him. If he looked away, would be a sign of weakness.
He held the stare.
"Yes." he answered, fiercely. But not enough.
"Then why do I get the feeling you don't?" she asked.
Clark could her hear heartbeat increasing as he scanned her face with his blue eyes.
Clark gulped.
So did Lois.
That was what made her notice maybe she had pushed a little too further.
"So, um, if you really think that, I… I should go and talk to him."
"Yeah." agreed Clark, relieved and disappointed at the same time. "You should."
It had taken him time to bring on the guts to talk to her. Yet he did.
They had given each other enough time to say anything else.
But they didn't.
Clark felt a gust of frustration.
Because they were too chicken to do something about it.
"When you'll leave?" asked Clark, suddenly.
"I've gotta be in the airport one hour from now." answered Oliver, checking his watch. He looked at Clark. "I just wanted to say that, in spite of our differences, I was glad to meet you. Made me realize there's still truly good men on this world, who can do a lot to fight for it." Oliver smiled and walked to him, putting one hand on his shoulder. "You are a great man, Clark. And you'll be even greater someday. I know that. You just have to embrace your destiny."
He grinned to Clark and got ready to leave.
"You love her?" Clark suddenly asked.
Oliver turned around and stared at him. "Does it matter?"
"You love her?"
Oliver smiled sadly and looked down. "I told you, Clark. She wasn't in it. She was somewhere else, even though she pretends not to realize it yet." There was something about Oliver's words that made Clark's heart beat a little faster. "It would be very selfish of me to lock her in a relationship where I knew her heart would never be mine."
"Is this why you are leaving?" he asked.
"I've finished what I wanted to do around here. I just happened to meet Lois." said Oliver. "You've never heard that when you really love someone, you have to do everything to make them happy, even if that means sacrificing your feelings?"
Clark blurted out in exasperation. "And how is leaving going to make her happy?"
Oliver laughed. "It's not THAT different of what you are doing, you know?" Clark gulped. "You didn't try to get us back together because of me. You did it because of Lois. You told her to forgive me and keep with our relationship, while that bothers you deep inside. Even though you're not ready to admit it."
"Oliver, I was just---"
"I know you tried to help her, Clark. And yes, I know you did it for her, not for me." Oliver added, as Clark opened his mouth to speak. "But if you really want to do something good for her, you suck your fear up and admit what everyone else has already seen it."
Even though his sentence might sound harsh, Oliver winked.
"Oliver---"
"Lois Lane is an extraordinary woman, I'm sure you know that." he said. Then, he smiled mysteriously. "She's just not mine." Clark felt his head spinning. "We'll meet again someday, Clark."
Oliver gave him a pat on the shoulder and turned around to leave. When he was at the middle of the stairs, he stopped and turned to look at Clark, one last time.
"Crack those walls down, Clark. You're the only one who can."
And Oliver Queen left, leaving Clark absolutely dizzy, even though the reason of his wooziness was, at the present moment, at her own apartment, just as shaky as he was.
A day later.
Kent's farm. Empty.
Sunset.
Two bodies in rush collided with each other.
THUMP.
"Geez!! Why don't you pay attention to where you're going---"
Lois's voice died as she looked up to the tall man, now holding her arms, that had bumped with her.
"If we both bumped I believe none of us was paying attention." he replied, smiling a bit and letting her go.
"Smallville." she said. "What are you, a wall?"
"Lois. What are you, another one?"
Both rolled their eyes and smirked slightly.
"Where were you going to, walking in such a hurry?" asked Lois, looking up at his eyes.
"Hum, to look for you." he said. "I just… wanted to know, you know, how you're holding up…"
The smirks faded away as their eyes locked and the memories of their respective conversations with a certain billionaire that now was miles away from there, took over their minds.
Clark cleaned his throat. "And where were YOU going in such a hurry?"
"Thebarn."
"Excuse me?"
"The… the barn." Lois repeated, turning her gaze away from his. "To uh… you know. Relax."
"In the barn?" asked Clark, unable to contain a little smile.
"Yeah. It's, uh, peaceful."
Lois could tell he didn't buy it, but she didn't quite care.
She really was going to the barn. To relax. But there was a part of her – a big part of her - that was wishing she would get the company of a certain farm boy, standing now in front of her with an adorable smile plastered on his face.
"Careful, Lois." said Clark, slightly teasing. "If you start paying silent visits to the barn, people are actually going to think you like it in there."
Lois hit him in the arm. "Well," she started, sitting in a bunch of hay next to them. "I guess it's not THAT bad."
Clark sat by her side. "It's not."
Both stood in silence, only watching the beautiful view in front of them. He looked at her. She was frowning, seeming very focused in whatever she was thinking about. The sunset was giving her face a slight orange lighting, in spite of her dark features, now.
"You knew all along, didn't you?" Lois suddenly asked, still not looking at him. Clark didn't even bother to ask what. He knew what she was talking about.
Clark sighed. "Lois---"
"No need to start apologizing for never telling me, Clark." she cut in. "I'm sure you promised to keep the secret---"
"I wanted to tell you." said Clark. Lois turned her head to him. "I was worried about you. He had been keeping his identity for a long time, and I knew he'd end up hurting you. I told him that. But he kept lying." Lois opened her mouth to speak, but Clark didn't let her. "I'm not exactly a master in honesty or anything. But I told him that it wasn't possible to maintain a relationship where you don't tell the other who you are."
"Yeah. Here's the proof." said Lois, shrugging and facing the horizon again.
"I'm sorry. I know how angry you felt when you found out he had been lying to you all along---"
"You know what?" said Lois. Clark suddenly shut his mouth. Lois opening up wasn't really a daily occurrence, as much as this had already happened between them. He let her talk. "I was upset. But I do understand why he didn't tell me. He thought that I wouldn't accept his freakin' alter-ego."
"Did you?" asked Clark, carefully.
"The main problem is not him having two identities, Clark. The problem is that Green Arrow had some 'values' that I've never found very attractive." said Lois, sighing. "He had a past that I don't know if could live with. That's why I stopped talking to him."
"Well, you did try to set things straight---"
"Only because I had talked to you."
Lois was staring at him again.
They didn't have to say anything else to understand what Lois's sentence meant.
Clark knew he hadn't convinced her to talk to Oliver. There were some moments back there, that scared her. To be honest, they were scaring him too.
"The other night…" he started, not sure if he really should be saying that. "When you said you had someone else in mind…" Lois moved uncomfortably in the haystack. "Who were you talking about?"
She was, once again, not looking at him. But there was something about the way she smiled that made Clark's stomach twist.
"I talked to Oliver before he left." Lois said, suddenly.
"So did I." replied Clark.
Their eyes met, and both could tell they had the same kind of conversation. Lois's smile had faded, and had been replaced by a desperate look.
Lois tried to shake the anxious look away, laughing. Nervously.
"What's funny?" asked Clark, a bit hurt, not noticing the tension on her laugh.
"I just… see, I never thought I'd ever have this conversation with you!" she said, quickly, as if she was trying to say it too fast so Clark wouldn't understand. "It's just---it's crazy, see? It's stupid, 'cause we've been friends for so long---"
"Lois---"
"---and even though we may try not to admit it, we have become good friends, and I never quite had a friend like you---"
"Lois."
"---it's driving me nuts everytime I think about the possibility---the simple fact that possibilities even EXIST---"
"Lois!" Clark called, without knowing whether laugh or start talking as well. "You're freaking out!"
Lois looked at him. Clark had seen her afraid before. But never like that.
"Well, of course I am!!!" she answered, irritated. "Suddenly there are those… those eye-locking moments, and those…" She gulped, looking anywhere but him. "…those thoughts… and there's Oliver saying that we---" Lois stopped talking suddenly. She was breathing heavily, moistening her lips nervously. All her energy seemed to fade away as she remembered what Oliver had implied. "He said…" she started, uneasy. She looked down, unsure if she was able to say it out loud.
Clark's heart started to beat faster.
"Clark, he said that…"
"I know what he said." Clark interrupted. He didn't need her to talk. They didn't need to talk at all. They understood each other with a simple look.
But at the moment, Lois wouldn't look up at him.
"Hey…" he said, reaching over and slowly raising her chin. Lois's eyes widened panicky and she quickly jerked her head away from his touch as a shock suddenly passed by his hand and the spot he had touched. Their eyes, however, kept locked into each other's. Gulping a little, Clark kept talking. "It's okay."
Lois tried hard not to melt at his gaze.
"It is?" she asked, and it ripped his heart in the middle at how fragile she sounded. Clark nodded. "It's just…" Lois tried to find the right words. "It scares the hell out of me."
"Well, I'm not exactly calm either."
"At least you didn't freak out." said Lois, a bit angry at herself, looking away.
"Didn't I?" laughed Clark. "Lois, I spent the last five weeks wondering around unsure if I should or should not encourage you to make things right with Oliver."
"Why?" she asked, and in the she jumped a little, surprised with herself. Clark faced her bravely.
Her heart was about to jump out of her mouth as Clark took a deep breath, like if he was getting ready to say something.
He was going to reply.
He was going to say it.
Wasn't he?
He opened his mouth to speak.
Oh God, he was.
"Lois, I---"
"Don't." she interrupted him quickly. Clark was taken aback by her interruption. "You don't have to say it. I know I asked, but…" Lois raised her head and their eyes met. "I'm not sure I'm ready to hear the answer."
Even though he seemed disappointed, he smiled slightly. "Me neither."
Lois nodded, relieved.
With a bit of astonishment, they realized it was already dark. The sun was gone, and there were stars in the sky.
Clark remembered Oliver's words.
"Crack those walls down, Clark. You're the only one who can."
He looked deeply at her hazel eyes.
Lois stared at him back with the same intensity.
"What are you so afraid of, Lois? That someone like Clark finally crossed your walls in a way no one has ever been able to do it before?"
Both smiled to each other.
Her walls? Clark had not only crossed them. But he really had cracked them down.
In a way that, in fact, no one else had ever done before.
It was scary.
But it was wonderful.
"We don't..." started Clark. "We don't have to do anything about it." said Clark. With a gulp, he added "Right now."
"Yeah. I guess you're right." Lois answered. They both stood up, looking around and appreciating the beautiful night, before their eyes met once again. "I just don't want to… screw our friendship."
"We won't." answered Clark.
They both made a move towards each other, Clark wrapping her in his arms, hugging her tightly.
And Lois sighed. She felt in home.
Clark pulled his head away a little bit, smiled at her and leaned in.
Her stomach twisted as she felt his lips touch the corner of her mouth.
It was more like a cheek-kiss. Still, she felt a sudden urge to grab his face, turn it to hers and make their lips crash together.
But she didn't.
"Too soon." she panted, as he slowly pulled away.
"Yeah." Clark agreed, just as breathlessly. They parted. "Are we ever going to---" he started.
"Maybe someday." Answered Lois, smiling dazzlingly. "Until there… I'll bust your chops and drive you crazy."
"You already do." said Clark, grinning. She grinned back as she headed to her car, her heart jumping happily.
Clark smiled amazed, watching her go.
If they weren't so busy looking at each other, they would have noticed the stars had just started to shine brighter.