LOIS GONE WILD
You've got to be freakin' kidding me.
It wasn't possible. It wasn't even remotely possible. It couldn't even be on the realm of the possibilities.
But it was.
Lois thought her eyebrows would be furrowed forever.
"I did WHAT?"
"Lois, calm down, you're freaking out---"
"Of course I'm freaking out!!!" she interrupted, still loudly. "You just told me I kissed Clark and I don't remember one single thing of what I did from yesterday to tonight, how could I not be freaking out?!"
Lois turned around, rubbing her forehead, pacing around the room.
Chloe and her were at Lois's apartment above the Talon. After Lois had snapped out of the effects of the absurdly red lipstick, she had confusedly demanded for an explanation to why she was dressed like that and what she was doing at Lex and Lana's engagement party, once she had decided she wouldn't go, after her breakup with Oliver. Jimmy had just gave them a ride home and, after being slapped in the head by Lois because he had set her up with Clark last night, he kissed Chloe goodbye and got the hell out of there, leaving her all by herself to explain the whole situation to Lois.
And she did. For the last minutes, her cousin had been carefully trying to tell her what had happened.
Automatically covering herself with the long, leather coat (which, by the way, she had no clue about how or when she had got it), Lois sighed, feeling adrenaline, confusion and extreme anxiety running through her veins.
At first, she was just bothered by the way she was dressed. It was a little… whore-ish. But this… this was even worse.
Kissed. She had kissed him.
Farmboy. Smallville.
Clark.
She had kissed Clark, and she didn't even remember.
Not that she wanted to, of course.
She shook her head, nervous.
"Look, I just told you that's most likely what happened." Chloe continued, watching Lois, who was still pacing. "I mean, you were infected with an aphrodisiac lipstick and Clark started acting all weird…" Chloe smiled a little bit. "You don't have to be a genius to add two plus two." Lois rolled her eyes, rubbing her head again. "You don't remember anything? At all?"
She shook her head negatively, irritated.
"The last thing I remember was talking to that creepy lady who was selling cosmetics yesterday night, then putting the lipstick she handed me on... then… It's all blank." Lois exhaled hardly. "It's so frustrating…"
"I know. But hey, if it helps, we all have been through stages of craziness followed by memory lacks." Chloe said, sympathetically. "It's some sort of… rite of passage on Smallville."
"Gee, thanks, it makes me feel much better." Lois said sarcastically, glaring at her cousin and plopping down on the couch. "Did I really kiss him?" she asked weakly, after a few moments of silence, looking up at Chloe. "I mean, seriously? How? When? And most importantly, why?"
"Well, you were infected with the lipstick, Lois, you were acting like you were in love with him, so, um, it seems natural that you actually wanted to---" Chloe started, trying to tranquilize her, but Lois shook her head, blushing a little.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." she said, interrupting Chloe. "But I could have… fallen… for anybody. Why Smallville, of all people? I mean, the lady told me I would fall for the first guy I saw. But why on Earth did it have to be him?" Chloe just shrugged, smiling.
"Why did you put the lipstick on, by the way?" she asked, curiously, and Lois was the one who shrugged, now.
"I guess I just didn't really think it would work…" She sighed again. "Well, at least it was just a kiss, it's not like I acted like I was all over him, right?" Chloe bit her lip. Lois frowned. "Right?"
"Hum. I think there's a little more into it, Lois." Chloe answered, carefully.
Oh God.
Lois felt her stomach twist at Chloe's sentence.
That couldn't be good.
"What do you mean?" she asked. "Did you see something? What did I do?"
"Well," Chloe started, sitting down beside Lois. "Today, before he was infected with your, um, kiss…" Chloe smiled at the slight tone of red that was taking over Lois's cheeks. "Clark dropped by the Daily Planet, very… distressed, saying you were uh… into him." Lois closed her eyes, mortified. "So… I'm guessing you dressed up, stopped by the farm and kind of… hit on him."
"Oh my God…" Lois said.
"Then you… suddenly walked into the room as well, wearing a black jacket, a very short skirt, a tank top and long black boots." Chloe continued, and Lois wished the floor would just open up and swallow her and the couch.
"Please tell me that was it…" Lois moaned, knowing she wouldn't get the answer she was looking for.
"That was when I ran off to investigate---"
"You what?" asked Lois, opening her eyes widely, making Chloe jump a little. "You ran out of there and left me alone with him? You could have stopped me!"
"Actually, no I couldn't. I tried to stop you earlier at the party and you kind of… threw me to floor." Chloe said. Lois's expression softened in worry.
"Oh my God! Chloe, I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" she blurted out, concerned, holding her cousin's shoulders. Chloe laughed a little.
"No." she answered. "But thank God Jimmy was there. He's the one who grabbed the bottle with the antidote and sprayed it on you."
"Yeah," Lois grumbled, annoyed. "It was the least he could do after setting me up with Clark last night."
Chloe nodded, amused.
"Um… Lois?" she suddenly said, looking from her chest to her face. Lois frowned. "I think there's something else you should know."
Lois's heart sank. It couldn't get worse, could it?
"What… what is it?" she asked, truly afraid of what she would hear. Chloe bit back a smile and reached over to the black top she was wearing. She lowered the cut down a little bit. Lois didn't like the way Chloe seemed to be fighting against the laughter. She looked down to the spot her cousin was looking at and her chin dropped.
A tattoo.
A colorful, flourished and vibrant tattoo. Right on her left boob. And it had the familiar shape of…
Lois widened her eyes in horror.
"Is this a heart?!" she asked, shocked. Chloe nodded. "And what the hell is it doing on my boob? Oh dear God, I can't look at it…" Lois suddenly looked away, shutting her eyes. She took a deep, nervous breath. "I know I'll regret asking… but what does it say?"
She looked at Chloe, who was still biting back a smirk. Chloe looked at the tattoo then at Lois again, amused.
"'Lois and Clark Forever'." she read, and when Lois made the most horrified face she had ever seen, Chloe couldn't help but laugh.
"It's not funny!!" complained Lois, standing up, blushing with anger and embarrassment at the same time.
"I'm… sorry!" said Chloe, wiping tears of laughter. "It's just… you, with…" She motioned towards the tattoo and burst into laughter again.
"Chloe!" exclaimed Lois, feeling a really strong will to cry, now. Her cousin noticed it, and calmed herself down.
"I'm sorry, Lois… sit down, come on…" She patted the couch and Lois sat again, her breath quickened. She had made a tattoo proclaiming her love for Clark.
That couldn't be right.
"How… how the hell did that happen?" she asked, faintly, her eyes fixed on the floor.
"I don't know… but my guess is that you made it while Clark, um… drove to Metropolis to talk to me." Chloe answered. Lois looked at her.
"Please tell me it isn't permanent." she pleaded.
Chloe smiled a little. "I guess you're the only one who can find that out, 'cuz…" Lois sighed, confused, tired and absolutely frantic. "After that, well… I took off. By then, I didn't know you were infected yet. You could… I don't know… be acting like yourself---"
"What?" Lois exclaimed, shocked. Was her cousin going crazy? "I was hitting on Clark and I had just shown him a tattoo proclaiming my love for him, of course I wasn't acting by myself!!!"
"I know, I know that, but well, I had to give myself the benefit of the doubt, I mean, you just… broke up with Oliver…" Chloe said, carefully.
"And you thought I'd go running to Clark for a rebound?" Lois snapped, angrily, standing up again and starting to pace around the apartment once more. "I'd never do that! Besides… Clark, of all people?"
"Anyway," Chloe interrupted before Lois could get any angrier, standing up as well. "I finally concluded something was wrong and well, I left to investigate, I figured Clark could handle you and your, uh… lack of control. But…" Chloe bit her lip, fighting a smirk again. "Considering you were able to infect him with a kiss, I guess I was wrong." Lois blushed a little bit again, but frowned, confused.
"I know I got tainted once I put the lipstick on. But…" she started, awkwardly. "I mean, how could a simple kiss infect him?"
"Lois, I, uh... I didn't actually see anything, but…" Chloe said, with a smirk. "I'm willing to bet your kisses were a little more than simple."
With that, Lois plopped down on the couch again, her hands covering her face, which was absolutely red, now. She wasn't used to show her vulnerable side very often, but right now, she didn't care. Chloe was her cousin, after all, and… there was no way Lois could deal normally with the whole situation.
"Okay," she said, her voice stuffed, trying very hard to be composed, breathing in deeply. "What… what happened after you took off?"
"I don't know, Lois." Chloe answered, trying to sound comforting. "As you said, I took off, and that was a little after lunchtime." she said, matter-of-factly. "I just saw you and Clark again when you two walked into the engagement party, earlier tonight."
"But then…" Lois looked at Chloe between her fingers. "What did Clark and I do the whole afternoon?"
Chloe bit her lip.
"I don't know, 'cuz." she answered, between the amusement and the preoccupation. "I really don't."
That unsettled Lois more than she knew it should.
She felt her heart sinking at the dangerous thought that passed by her mind. Quickly shaking the thought away, she tried to calm herself down.
Don't freak out. Just because you were acting all love-struck and spent a whole afternoon with Clark, it doesn't mean you did anything.
Just relax.
She breathed in deeply.
How had things had gone so wrong?
She cursed Jimmy for setting her up with Clark last night and making her go to that Valentine's Day Party. She cursed that creepy cosmetic-lady for giving her the lipstick.
She cursed herself for actually putting the lipstick on.
She cursed… whatever freakin' force that made Clark pass by on that exact moment.
A whole afternoon…
What had they done?
"You don't think… that… Clark and I actually…" Lois started, slowly, blushing. Chloe made a face.
"I'm afraid that's a question only you and him can answer." she said. Lois sighed, nervous, puzzled and tense. "I need to make a call." added Chloe. "I'll be right back." Giving Lois a smile that was supposed to be comforting, she started to walk towards the apartment's door. "Try to get some sleep." she said. "You can talk to him tomorrow to see if he… remembers anything."
There was something in Chloe's knowing smile that made Lois frown.
Watching her cousin leave, Lois walked towards her bathroom, willing to take those disconcerting clothes off and take a good and needed hot shower.
By the time she threw her coat on the floor, she saw a little card coming out of the right pocket.
It was there. The name of the place where she got her tattoo done. The phone number. And the sentence that actually made her feel a little more relieved for the first time, tonight.
'Crazy to have a tattoo, but needles scare the hell out of you? Your problem is solved. With us, you can get beautiful and personalized Henna tattoos, there will be no needles – and no regrets. And if there are – chill out, the ink lasts only a week.
Ready to give it a try? Set an appointment by the phone number…'
Lois felt her heartbeat slowly decreasing.
A Henna tattoo.
Thank God.
Putting the card next to the sink, Lois took the rest of her clothes off and turned the shower on. She let the hot water drops fall all over her, thankful, but still finding a little hard to relax completely. She looked down at her tattoo.
Yes, the ink would last only a week. But while it lasted, she would constantly be reminded about how she didn't remember one single thing of what had happened today.
Now, doesn't that make sense..., she thought, rolling her eyes.
Half an hour later, after she turned the shower off, she walked out of her bathroom and headed to her room. Wrapped in her towel, Lois spotted some clothes on top of her bed, clothes she had never seen before. Clothes that looked exactly like the ones Chloe had described to her, earlier.
Yeah. There they were.
The black boots. The black jacket, the awfully short skirt, the blue tank top and a (Lois gulped) black corset, that she had apparently used underneath the tank top.
How had they ended up there?
Maybe she had dropped by to... change clothes... before going to the engagement party.
Yeah, maybe it was that. She just couldn't believe she had dressed like that… for Clark.
Deciding to put her pajamas on before taking the clothes out of her bed, Lois walked towards her closet to grab her night clothes, but as soon as she passed by the mirror on the wall, the tattoo unavoidably caught her eye. She stood straight in front of the mirror and stared at the red heart, hit with a cupid's arrow and surrounded by what seemed to be a white lace, where the text Lois and Clark Forever was written, with slightly flourished block letters.
And before she could help herself, she smiled.
It actually looked pretty good. The drawing, she told herself. Not the Lois and Clark Forever part. Of course not.
That was just nuts.
But it would actually be beautiful, if she really was Clark's girlfriend.
Lois widened her eyes.
What the hell are you talking about, Lane? Are you still under the lipstick's effects?
Firmly telling herself that was just the last remains of the aphrodisiac talking and that she actually found the tattoo dreadfully ugly, Lois dressed in her pajamas and shook her head. Turning to the clothes on her bed, Lois threw the boots to a distant corner, grabbed the corset, folded it and placed it on her closet. But when she reached for the black jacket to dangle it on the coat hanger, something caught her eye.
She felt her heart fall down to her knees at the sight.
The blue tank top laying over it.
It was torn apart.
Torn.
Her breath quickened. If it was ragged, it was because someone had ripped it. And there was only one person she knew she had spent the day – and part of the night – with.
Oh no. No no no no no no no...
Had she and Clark really…
Lois gulped.
Oh my.
She sat down at her bed, feeling her knees faltering, trying not to freak out at the possibility (and the inevitable visual picture playing on her mind).
But a ripped tank top meant nothing, right? Nothing.
That's it. You didn't do that with him. Of course you didn't. That would be just…
She stared at the tank top.
Wild.
Lois let go of a breath, feeling her stomach twisting.
You didn't.
But there were even a few buttons missing...
She threw the ripped tank top at her closet and held her knees against her chest, feeling a burning in the corner of her eyes. Her nose itched like it always did when she was about to cry and Lois bit her bottom lip, blinking against the tears and fighting against the strange squash pressing her heart.
She couldn't have done that. Not right after breaking up with Oliver.
Not with Clark. Not these days, when her friendship with him was becoming so strong.
Damn.
She had kissed him, and apparently it had been more that a peck on the lips. The idea was completely unsettling and crazy, but she could deal with it – couldn't she? Anyway, the point was… if it had been more than making out… Lois wasn't so sure she could get over it that easily.
She clenched her eyes closed.
She was not going to cry. She wasn't.
She had to confirm it first before really freaking out about it.
That's right.
She opened her eyes and climbed on her bed, covering herself and letting her head fall on her pillow.
Lois sighed, feeling extremely exhausted.
It all seemed to change so fast. Yesterday night she was at the Inquisitor still mourning over her breakup with Oliver when Jimmy had appeared and dragged her to the Valentine's Day Party. He had tried to set her up with Clark, they both had found it ridiculous, Clark had walked away, then the creepy lady had started to talk to her about how she needed a romance remedy to mend her broken heart. Until there, nothing very odd. Then she had tried the lipstick and bam! The next thing she knew she was standing on the ballroom of the Luthor's Mansion at Lex and Lana's engagement party, dressed like a dominatrix and being watched by two very relieved Chloe and Jimmy. Then, they told her she had been infected with an aphrodisiac, that she had been acting like she was completely head over heels in love with Clark and that she had kissed him and had made the lipstick act on him as well.
When she had asked where Clark was, then, Chloe had told her he had snapped into a rage fit and kidnapped Lana out of her own engagement party.
Lois rolled her eyes. The woman was going to marry Lex, for Heaven's sake. It was kind of stupid that not even under an aphrodisiac Clark would let go of his obsession for Lana. And… that could only mean he had ditched Lois for her.
She felt almost offended. Well, Lois had always known Farmboy was stupid.
Widening her eyes, Lois shook her head, sending the thoughts away.
She faced the dark ceiling and clenched her eyes shut, forcing her memory, twisting her brain, scanning every corner of her mind trying to remember anything about what had happened after she had put that lipstick on.
It was all fuzzy.
It was incredibly frustrating, not knowing how she had gotten to the Luthor Mansion, where she had been and (Lois shivered) what exactly she had done.
Well, at least she knew who she had been with – which was even more distressing, considering the whole situation.
She moistened her mouth and unwarily touched her lips with her fingers.
Had she really kissed Clark?
She knew it was stupid to ask, at that point, it was pretty obvious she had indeed kissed him – and, considering they had spent a whole afternoon together under the influence of that damn lipstick, she could bet it had been more than once. It all seemed like a crazy dream---
Nightmare. It all seemed like a crazy nightmare.
She hit her own head against the smooth pillow, snuggling under the covers.
Sleep, girl, and stop thinking about it, for crying out loud.
She closed her eyes and regretted doing it as soon as sudden images of Clark and her kissing in some place that strangely reminded her of a phone booth filled her mind.
Lois popped her eyes open, feeling her heart skipping a beat.
Crap.
She felt more awake than ever.
Why him?
Why kissing?
And why, for Pity's sake, on a phone booth?
Yeah, sure, she had always kind of had the fantasy of locking herself with someone in a phone booth, but… why on Earth the images were showing him?
Wait a minute.
There were phone booths in the Daily Planet.
Lois's heart jumped.
Maybe that wasn't just a representation of one of her fantasies. Maybe… that had actually happened.
She closed her eyes again, hoping that it would happen again, hoping she would remember.
But no other scenes played on her mind. It was all blank again.
Remembering or not, that was the most embarrassing thing she had ever done in her entire life – and that was something, considering some situations she had been through. The simple thought of her openly hitting on Clark, making a move to kiss him and he actually succumbing into it was enough to take the sleep out of her. And to make her blush, which wasn't very typical of Lois Lane. Specially if she was around Clark Kent.
Lois had never actually considered the idea of kissing him---
Liar, a voice within accused her.
Oh, alright, maybe she had thought about the prospect one time or two---
Liaaaar…, the voice sang.
Lois rolled her eyes, exasperated with herself. Well, he was definitely attractive and she was a red-blooded female, it was only natural that, from time to time, she found herself wondering how it would feel like if his big, strong arms just wrapped themselves around her and---
Lois gulped, interrupting the dangerous line of thoughts.
Watch it, Lane…
Anyway, the real point was that tonight, once again, Lois was seriously hoping kissing was all they had done – because that was already more than she could deal with, at the moment.
Lois rolled over, feeling absolutely defenseless. She turned to the other side, sighing.
She would have to get as much sleep as she could. Tomorrow she would have to talk with a certain Farmboy, and she had to be well rested, because her walls would have to be all the way up.