"This is hopeless. Each one is worst than the last." Leave it to Velvet to be a killjoy.

"Okay, well, we don't have much of a choice. Unless you want each of us to be paying way more rent – which I will remind you is impossible – we need a new roommate. At least we have the benefit of knowing ahead of time that Roku is ditching us to go live with his boyfriend."

As Maggie playfully chided her friend, he came walking into the living room with a piece of pocky sticking out of his mouth. "Would you cut that out? I just need to get somewhere with a little less estrogen, okay?"

Velvet scoffed. "That's a gross way of phrasing it. You're trading one hormone for another. You can just admit you'd prefer living with Eizen. No doubt it will be more comfortable for you."

"Phrase it that way and you will literally break my heart, Roku!" Maggie put her hand to her chest and swooned dramatically, but her posing was cut short by a light smack on the shoulder from Velvet. "Anyway, our last person is calling in on Skype. It's a lot harder to get a good read on somebody over video chat. I mean, this Eleanor person is probably a total weirdo and we'll never know. So I say we do this just as a courtesy and then bring in that Teresa girl. She seemed like a bitch, but we're no strangers to that."

"Ugh, no, not her. We would kill each other within a week. Let's just give this girl a chance. Maybe she'll magically turn out to be perfect and everything will be... fine..." The more Velvet spoke, the less positive she sounded. "Okay well... that's not likely. But I'll take 'tolerable' at this point."

Maggie grabbed up her phone and opened up Skype, hunting down the new contact and sending a request. After a few moments, an image popped up of a cute redhead, maybe a few years younger than either of them. "Hello? Ah! Hi there, I can see you! Hello!" She waved excitedly toward the camera, and while Maggie appreciated her positivity, she had no doubt it would drive Velvet crazy.

"Sup kiddo? I'm Maggie, and..." she carefully turned her phone to show the reclining brunette, "that there is Velvet. I'll be asking the questions, and she'll be mercilessly judging you. So, why don't you start by telling us a little bit about yourself!"

Perhaps the poor thing didn't quite understand the joke, because she looked legitimately confused and frightened for a moment before clearing her throat. "Right! Um, so I'll be attending theology school in the fall and I need someplace to live. I'm studying to be a pastor. Oh! But... But I'm not... I mean, you don't need to worry about me being one of those awful people who go around and..." She stopped her mini-tirade almost as soon as she had started it, sighing dramatically and placing her palm against her forehead. "I promised myself I wasn't going to get immediately defensive, I'm so sorry. I'm sure you have more questions for me."

Maggie shared a look with Velvet then looked back at the screen. "Uh, actually we might want to follow this up, honey. My blood is rainbow-colored and Vel has a girlfriend. So if you're just trying to look good but it turns out you have some kinda deep hatred for us, you should probably be honest about it."

The poor thing's eyes went wide and she started shaking her head vigorously. "I'm serious! I just care about making peoples' lives better. I-I just... I need a place to live and most of the other ones I've looked into were sketchy. But you two seem like genuinely cool people. I'm really quiet and I keep to myself. Even if you guys don't like me all that much, I'll be way too busy doing grad school stuff to bother you."

Something about the earnest desperation in Eleanor's reaction made Maggie break out in bright laughter. "Oh my god, chill girl. We just need to ask you a few more boring questions, make our decision, and get back to you."

The promise of more boring questions appeared to put Eleanor at ease and she actually started smiling again. "Right. Hit me with it."

Against all sense, Eleanor really was the best option out of everyone Maggie and Velvet interviewed. So... their new roommate was a baby pastor. That would probably be okay.

Except it actually kind of was. True to her word, she was pretty quiet and solitary, and the closest they came to talking about religion was early one Sunday morning.

Maggie was still up from the night before, working off a hangover by making herself a disgusting breakfast full of grease. Eleanor strolled into their little kitchen looking surprisingly adorable. "Hah, hey there, got a hot date or something?"

"Oh, uh, church actually. I heard the university chapel is pretty cool so I thought I'd give it a look." She seemed so ridiculously embarrassed to admit that she was doing something so normal for herself that it really did endear Eleanor to her a bit. "I-I mean, cool for a dork like me. I'm not gonna invite you or anything..."

Maggie plucked a piece of bacon directly from the pan and placed it in her mouth. Yes, it burned like a bitch, but now she was dedicated to this and she chewed through the pain and focused on the deliciousness. "Easy, you've been cool so far, don't go ruining it now. I can give you a ride if you need."

That caught her off guard, and she got that now-familiar wide-eyed look. "Oh, no need, I'll be taking the train. I still need to get to know the city better. But I'll remember that if I'm ever late or it's raining out. Provided you aren't still drunk from the night's festivities of course." She giggled brightly, though decency dictated that she try to hide it behind her hand.

Maggie joined her in bright laughter, having already forgotten searing the shit out of her mouth. "OMG, the kitten has claws! I knew you were gonna be fine. Seriously, don't be afraid to do that more often. Me and Vel snipe each other all the time. Of course, that means you also have to be able to take it, so... maybe keep to the good girl shtick."

Still laughing softly, Eleanor turned and started toward the front door. "I'll remember that."

Things were quiet for a while, though eventually there was a brief ruckus from Velvet's room, and she emerged a little while later, tugging on her long therapy glove up her left arm. "Did I hear you talking to someone?"

Lucky for me I cooked enough food for two people. "Our little angel was just saying hello before popping off to church. I swear, I'm used to thinking of 'good people' as being aggravating and self-righteous. But somehow she actually manages to be... like.. good-good. It's disarming."

Velvet laughed softly as she went to the fridge, digging around until she had located the orange juice, before taking an incredibly big swig straight from the carton. "Wait, holy shit, are you thinking about taking a run at her? You're shameless, Mayvin."

Her eyes could not have rolled hard enough. "Ugh, give me a break. I'm happy living the single life, thank you very much. Unlike you, Miss Monogamy. You think you're ever gonna pop the question to Niko or are you just gonna keep dancing around each other forever."

She set down the carton and began to glare at her – not the playful kind when they were giving each other little jabs, but her serious 'I'm gonna kick your ass' glare. "I'm pretty sure we've had this conversation a million times already. I'm not exactly... there yet. You know that. So stop bringing it up."

That was the problem with being the playful trickster. Occasionally you forgot where the boundaries were and you poked a sleeping bear. "Sorry, Crowe. You know I speak without thinking. You do you; if you're happy, that's all that matters." That seemed to calm things back down and the atmosphere in the room went back to relatively normal. So Maggie served up some eggs and bacon for the both of them and they ate their breakfasts in the living room while watching cartoons.

The two must have lost track of time, because Eleanor came back before either of them moved from their comfy spots. Surprisingly, instead of disappearing back into her room, she joined them, curling up on the nearby chair with a pleasant smile. "Oh my goodness, I haven't seen this show since I was little."

Velvet glanced in her direction with an amused half-smile. "How was God?"

If she was phased, Eleanor didn't show it, smiling just as kindly as she had been a moment before. "I imagine They're doing just fine. I'll make sure to let Them know you asked." Something about this struck her as funny and she giggled softly at her own little joke. "Sorry, um, I had a good time. The chapel is gorgeous and the choir is quite talented."

Her gaze moved from Eleanor over to where Maggie was sitting, her eyebrows raising ever so slightly.

"Told you, she's got a few clever bones in her body. The kid isn't so bad."

"And here I was worried I might get kicked out if I'm not funny enough. Good to know I'm proving myself."

Maggie pointed a vaguely threatening finger in her direction. "You haven't proven yourself yet. Don't get complacent."

"They..." Velvet had a nasty habit of occasionally going off on her own little mental journey, and then coming back into the conversation a little too late. "You called God... They."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess I do that. My church back home was kind of... aggressively liberal. It's actually been a little surprising talking with other students who didn't have the same upbringing. So it's partially just me using the pronouns I'm used to, and partially me pushing against everyone trying to make God into that big bearded judge in the clouds. It's a little passive aggressive, I admit. You don't mind, do you?" Eleanor tilted her head, looking legitimately concerned about touching a raw nerve. Nothing like Maggie.

"No, it's fine. Arthur, my brother-in-law, used to always talk that way. About 'Him', about 'He' up above who sees us when we do bad things. He was pretty old-school. But calling God 'They'... I dunno, makes me think about some genderfluid person in their mid-twenties who's trying to figure things out like any of us. It's... nice."

The redhead sat up, looking delighted to have finally gotten more than five words out of Velvet. "Oh! So your brother-in-law is a pastor then?"

"Probably. Haven't talked to the bastard in three years."

Well shit. So much for that. As quickly as she had opened up, Velvet had shut back down. Eleanor stood up from the chair, fiddling with her hands. "O-Okay well... I-I'm just gonna go get some um... reading done. Um... okay, later." Just like that, she was gone again, and things felt crappy.

Maggie had no clue how to actually be a good friend. She mostly knew how to be an annoying nuisance. But once in a while, she had to at least try and cobble together one halfway decent sentence. Glancing briefly to the side, she could see that a cloud of bad thoughts had definitely settled around Velvet. "Hey. I can talk to her about it or whatever. Just so she knows where the landmines are."

"Do whatever you want," was all Velvet muttered before disappearing to her own room.