Chapter One: A Birthday for the Books

Bella POV:

7:30a.m.

Groaning, I push the snooze button again and then resume my aimless stare at the ceiling. I should be leaving for school about now but if anyone blames me for skipping today they can kiss my blasé butt. This day carries too much pain to tolerate the mundane tasks of high school life. This one day changed forever the person that I am, or who thought I was.

Happy birthday to me.

If you would've asked me when I woke up that morning, one year ago, where I thought I'd be now I would've said, "Immortal, ageless, perfect, and a vampire."

I never thought in a million years that Edward would abandon me, much less that any of the other members of his family, the ones who told me how much they cared about me, would allow it. But they each made their own choice to disappear from my life without a backward glance.

For a long time I allowed myself to believe that it was all my fault and it destroyed me, leaving me a shell of my former self. That is, until I let Jacob in. Of course it helped that now he was a card carrying werewolf, because he lived in the same world I did. Everyone else, my family and my friends were all oblivious. They had no idea the things that I knew, nor had they ever experienced the situations I had been witness to. And the fact that they thought I was crazy made me even angrier. Some days all I wanted to do was scream out everything that I knew about the Cullen family that everyone loved so much. But when it came down to it, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't hurt them that way, no matter what they had done to me.

As if on cue Jacob's telltale greeting came from outside my window with the tapping of a pebble against the glass. I couldn't resist grinning as I got up and went to let him in.

Jacob POV:

I halfway hoped she would be asleep, but then again I know her better than that; better than to think that she would be doing anything aside from remembering. Just thinking about what that asshole blood sucker did to her makes every inch of my body tremble with rage. I want to rip them limb from limb starting with Edwin's sparkly ass but I knew that would only hurt my beautiful Bella more, (even if she wouldn't admit it to herself) and that was something I promised that I would never do. Well, at least on the bright side his massive screw up brought her into my arms. So what can I say, his loss definitely my gain. He didn't deserve her anyhow.

Her face appearing in the window brought me out of my inner monologue. She slid the window frame open and stepped backward to allow me to room to climb in. I always love this part, and after a quick shimmy up the tree I leapt into the window and effortlessly landed on the balls of my feet. My pride was short lived now that I had a chance to view her more closely. Her hair was mussed up from having tossed and turned all night. Her beautiful brown eyes were heavy, ridden with sadness, and they held deep purple bruise like circles beneath them.

She shifted her weight, nervous beneath my gaze. Trying to spare my feelings no doubt, just like she always did. She didn't want me to know that he still affected her this way. But then again she never did lie well. Without hesitation, I pulled her into my arms and to the warmth of my chest. I silently kissed her forehead and reassuringly stroked her hair, tucking her head beneath my chin. Eventually the huff in her breath told me she was crying.

"It's alright honey, I'm right here."

Bella POV:

Sniffling, I pulled away and wiped my eyes and nose. "Sorry" I cringed at my own weakness. He wasn't even here anymore and he still had the ability to make me cry. I was supposed to be in control! I spent all night telling myself that I could handle this; that I'm over it. Good luck with that. Jacob smiled and gently kissed each of my cheeks, my forehead, my chin, and then finally my lips. His chivalry unnerved me, reminding me how much I didn't deserve him after all that I've put him through.

"Hi." He whispered, making me smile for the first time in two days, "Hey."

"I'm sorry." Why can't I stop apologizing? "It's just, everything I guess. From Edw-, from him leaving last year, to everything after that and now, with today. I'm just feeling very lost here."

He smiled sweetly, "I know it sweetie, and I expected that today would be hard for you so I'm here. I negotiated a day off from "pack duties" for us. "Come on." He took my hand and led me to the bathroom, turning on the shower water. When he was satisfied with the temperature he pulled the curtain and turned to me. He stepped out of his own shorts, and there he stood in all of his perfect glory. My eyes roamed his body, soaking him all in and I couldn't avoid the growing blush under my skin. But then I had a thought, "Charlie?" He shrugged, "Had to go in this morning already; some kind of disturbance." From the sparkle in his eyes I could almost be sure he was somehow involved in that. With that, he grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it over my head. He pulled me into his chest and wrapped his arms around behind me and unhooked my bra, kissing my shoulder. Then he dropped to a knee, tugging my underwear with him. Leaving a small kiss on my thigh, he stood and pulled back the shower curtain, helping me inside.

The warm spray felt soothing on my clammy skin. I backed under the spray, allowing him room in the tub which was not a small feat. His form filled the small space but I didn't feel crowded. The heated radiating from his skin comforted me. After pouring shampoo into his palm, he began lathering my hair and massaging my scalp. He knew this was my weakness and the sensation of his hands in my hair caused my eyes to involuntarily drift closed. With his help shampooing then conditioning my hair, this mundane task has transformed into a cleansing far beyond what water and soap alone would have provided. Once my hair was rinsed clean he leaned in and placed a soft kiss at the base of my neck. I expected him to reach for more but he shocked me by pulling back. Then I understood. He was demonstrating to me that intended this intimately but not sexually. That he wasn't motivated by his lust for me. He didn't want anything from me, only to take what he was giving which only added to the intensity of the moment. He proceeded by adding a plentiful amount of body wash to my loofa and squishing it between his fingers he worked it into a lather. Slowly and painstakingly, he washed and rinsed my entire body. Once he was done, he reached down and shut off the water. A sweep of the curtain and immediately my whole body began to shiver. He wrapped one towel around his waist and used another to envelop me. Kissing me on the nose, he smiled "Well, I hope you enjoyed your shower but now you have to get ready. I think you can handle that part on your own. Just something comfortable is fine, jeans even. I'll leave you to it while I make sure things are ready for us but keep your phone on you so I can reach you, okay?"

I nodded, and with that he was gone. I stood there for a few minutes in just my towel just processing everything that just happened. And ultimately I reached the same conclusion that still haunted me, I really didn't deserve him. As the steam in the small bathroom began to dissipate I snapped out of my stupor and began getting ready. I combed out my hair and wrapped it in a towel, and then I headed to my room to begin getting ready for the day with Jake.

I found a comfortable pair of jeans and a soft blue cotton top. Jake loved me in blue; he said he likes the way the color looks against my skin. After blow drying my hair and brushing my teeth I heard the buzz of a text on my phone. "Right on time." I smiled, opening the text. As I started reading my smile faded and I felt ready to pass out. I sat down on the bed then read it twice more to make sure my mind wasn't making this up.

"Bella,

I've missed you more than I can say. Please meet me in our place so we can talk.

Forever yours,

E."

This was real alright now what am I going to do with it?