Title: Choices
Author: Mrpointyhorns, Blemery1
Author's Email: PG
Status: Complete
Part: 1/1
Pairings: James/Sirius
Warnings: AU!!!! Mentions of Mpreg, Slash
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Regulus is enlightened. He finally learns to make choices of his own.
A/N: There might be a second complimenting story tieing up some loose ends. This is about Regulus and his enlighetenment.
Beta: None
Disclaimer: Characters and situations not owned by me.
Regulus stared at his Master as he paced in front of his fellow death eaters. He was mad. He could kill someone at any moment of any reason. Regulus hated being a death eater. He always had. He hated most things about his life, now.
Like most things in his life the decisions were all made for him. He was pushed into doing whatever everyone else thought was best. He couldn't say he would have minded too much, if the choices people made for him weren't life threatening and totally against his values.
He didn't like muggles. They were noisy, and they got in the way. Still he didn't want to kill, or even hurt any of them. He often found himself wondering if hurting muggles was similar to abusing defenseless animals. Certainly muggles were less superior to wizards as they didn't have any magic or any knowledge of the magical world. They could be killed with a flick of a wand. It put them at a great disadvantage. Though muggles tended to make up for their lack of magic they had their technology; some of it almost seemed magical. Like electricity, wizards were burning down wax like always but muggles all they had to do was clap, and lights turned on. They were still at a disadvantaged.
That was why Regulus hated being a death eater. He hated violence of any kind. He hated trying to force people into believing what they believed. He hated the fear that underlined the entire organization brought. Why did people insist on following someone that's only power came from the fear and manipulation he caused? Anything that is founded of a base of fear would never make it. Regulus understood this. Even from his position in the war he could see that their side would lose, it was crumbling into a bunch of lies.
The raven-haired wizard suddenly blinked from underneath his hooded cloak, for suddenly all focus was on him. He tried not to take a step back as his master came in for a close look. Had he been thinking aloud again? He knew his master was an expert at reading minds.
"Well, Black," his master hissed out in the way he usually did. Regulus would have panicked, if he didn't know better. He had not heard anything his master had just said and did not know how to respond. "I'll take that asss a yesss. And if you fail me, well I hope you're good at hiding."
"Yes, my Lord," Regulus bowed his head appropriately, and here he was letting people make decision for him again, and this time it was worse. He didn't even know what his decision had been let alone what had been made of it.
His master turned his attention back to his more favored 'slaves' striding forward; he stopped in front of the Lestranges, "And you three will go take care of the pureblood. You know how powerful they are. He's sure to be the real threat. Do what you like with his parents but bring the child back to me. I want to take care of him myself."
Bellatrix nodded her agreement her smile radiating the room, at the thought of torturing something, even with her hood up it could be seen.
Regulus watched as his master dismissed them. Regulus didn't move until he watched Malfoy exit and then he quickly followed him and Snape.
The two stopped halfway up the stairs that led up to the main floor when they realized he was following them. Malfoy lowered his hood and smirked at him, "Not paying attention again were you dreamer."
"No," Regulus admitted he pulled his hood down at the same time as Snape. He put on his best pout, "I was thinking about things."
"Good thing you let Lucius training you in Occumlency with me," Snape nodded to him they continued their way to the main floor together. "The things you think about would never be approved."
Regulus shrugged looking down to the floor he knew it was true, every day he played with the fine line that could lead to his death. But he couldn't help it that was just who he was, a dreamer. Then remembering why he had rushed over to the pair he pulled his head back up and asked simply, "So what am I supposed to do?"
The two older men exchanged looks with each other before turning to look at him, that enough told Regulus it would be something he would regret doing.
"Godric's Hollow," Regulus looked down at the piece of parchment that Peter had scrawled all over. He turned his head up and glanced at the seemingly muggle house, but even he could feel the tugs of wards and spells cast over the house.
This was his task, come to Godric's Hollow and kill the child born at the end of July the following year. Regulus shivered at not just the cold mid-October air but the idea of killing a child, a baby just a little older then one. He just couldn't see himself doing something like that. The decision had been made for him. Yet he had a feeling, even though he had come this far, even though he was currently pushing open a side window and slipping in, he would never do it.
Regulus was suddenly very proud of his luck because the room he happened to enter seemed to be the baby's room. There soundly, in the crib, slept the young toddler. Regulus sighed the boy was so cute. There was no way he could kill him, Mudblood Mother or not!
He moved closer to get a better look. Staring down at the small form Regulus reached down to push the baby's, already, unruly hair from out of his eyes and tuck him in just a little tighter.
He stared down at the form and remembering the brief explanation about the child he had received from Snape and Malfoy before leaving. This child, he was Potter's.
He remembered Potter quite clearly as he wasn't just his brother's best friend. He was also the resident goof-off and class clown, star quidditch player, top in his class, and the head boy. Regulus never managed to understand how some seemingly normal looking teenager could have achieved all of that. He, Regulus, had managed to pull into the top five of his class but he sorely lacked in the socialization that James seemed to take for granted.
Knowing that James was the child's father had turned him off killing the child before he even realized he was to kill a child. He just couldn't do that to his brother's best friend. He could never hurt his brother that way.
His blue eyes lingered over the small form that would be the end of his existence. He felt no remorse whatsoever by prolonging this child's life. His Master would find some other means to destroy him, but at least it would never be because of his hands.
"What are you doing?" Regulus stiffened immediately at the threatening tone that purred off his brother's lips. He didn't even have to look behind him to see who addressed him.
Regaining his confidence Regulus turned to face him, place himself between child and his brother.
Sirius was standing in the door way in a pair of long pajama pants leaning heavily against the doorway trying to suppress a yawn. Regulus was slightly offended that Sirius didn't take his being there, in the house, which was 'hidden,' as a threat, but then the pride from knowing how greatly his brother trusted him pushed away any offensive feelings.
"The Dark Lord sent me," Regulus stated simply. His brother at least had the decency to throw him a proper glare and step into the room. "You're friend's child falls under the prophecy. I was sent to kill him."
"Oh?" Sirius folded his arms over his chest brushing his hair back behind his ear in one swift motion. "But you wouldn't."
Regulus nodded his brother knew him too well, "I wouldn't."
"Because…?" Sirius put on a light confused frown.
"The reason; I would never kill anything, let alone a child. Let alone your friends' child," Regulus replied promptly. He didn't care if he indulged Sirius and told him about his secret feelings, his secret thoughts. He didn't care that Sirius knew or didn't know; if he cared at all for his position as the Dark Lord's slave. Probably it would be the last thing he would end up doing. As he would never make it out of this alive and if he did he would never be able to return to Wizarding England without threat to his life.
"I see," Sirius nodded leaning back slightly on his heels. He pursued his lips in thought. "You'll be killed for it."
"I know," Regulus replied, he turned back to look at the baby that lay sleeping in the cradle. He didn't even know the babe's name but just seeing the baby resting without fear or worry, dreaming away at his little heart's content made dieing seem simple. "It's worth it."
Regulus jumped slightly letting out a strained yelp when he felt strong arms wrap around his shoulders, he relaxed instantly as he was pulled into a warm embrace, a bare chest pressed against his overly cloaked back. "Shh James's is sleeping," Sirius hissed against the shell of his little brother's ear. He leaned his head down and looked into the cradle. "He's beautiful." Sirius whispered.
Nodding Regulus wiggled about until he was more comfortable in his brother's arms. Usually he didn't care for being touched, a habit he had picked up from growing up in his father's home, but Sirius had always been cuddly. He had always needed the gentle touches of his little brother after days of abuse. Regulus he had grown to need the feel of his brother too. When his brother wasn't there he had a longing and aching inside of him that never seemed to go away, just lessen with time.
"Our spy says he's your godson," Regulus smiled down at the child, "I bet you spoil him rotten."
Sirius nodded against him, "But, I'm not his Godfather." His voice barely audible.
Regulus turned his head to him confusion haunting his features, "He's not your Godson?"
Sirius shook his head but nodded back to the one in the crib.
Peering down into the crib Regulus was greeted with two deep blue eyes so deep that he had only seen the color on anyone a few times. Besides himself the only person he knew to have that shade of blue was currently standing behind him. Regulus gasped in realization. "You're his mother?"
To answer his question the young toddler sat up rubbing his eyes sleepily. He then held his arms out towards them, "Mumu."
Sirius disentangled himself from his brother to pick up the youngster who nuzzled his head against his mother's bare shoulder. Regulus watched open mouthed before he quickly found the words he needed so badly, "But what about Lily?"
"What Lily, she doesn't exist," Sirius stroked the back of his son's head rocking him, the two of them, back and forth at the same time. "James made it up as a pretense to protect him, and to protect me. No one knows that I'm his mother except James and Moony."
"And he knows," Regulus pointed a finger at the child, "He called you Mum."
"Well, we couldn't help that," Sirius sighed pressing his cheek softly against the baby's hair tightening his hold on the child. "He just knows who his Mum is."
Regulus nodded, he could understand that. The two seemed close, so close; much more then either of them had been with of their parents, at any age. Regulus turned to head back the way he came; although going threw the door probably would have made more sense. He was pulled to a stop midway threw his third step.
"You don't have to go back there," Sirius told him.
Regulus tilted his head in his brother's direction. Sirius stared back at him, watching him, waiting for what he might do. Regulus stared at him blankly, waiting for Sirius to tell him whether he should go or stay, but neither command was made. The decision was suddenly his. Would he go back to his master and into his death bed? Or would he stay, and not know what might become of him.
"I don't know what to do," Regulus finally admitted after ten minutes of silently contemplating. He bowed his head in shame staring down at his own two feet. He couldn't even decide which one to move first or in what direction.
"Why? This should be easy. You already decided that you're not going to kill Harry. Compared to that, this must be easy," Sirius tuck his free hand under Regulus's chin and tugged it back to look at him properly. "What do you want?"
Regulus turned to look out the window staring into the rapidly brightening sky and bravely he took a step. Sirius slipped his hand from his brother's chin and pulled into a one-armed hug. "I'll be here for you." He promised.
Relaxing into his brother once more he sighed in relief. For the first time since he could remember he didn't find he hated just about everything in his life.
The decision had been wholly his. He wasn't going back there, to those people or that man, that controlled him and who he had called Master. He was sure of that even as he napped lazily in the spare room he knew he wasn't going back. But, where he would go from there had suddenly wakened him from his dreams.
He stared up at the ceiling deep in thought about what to do. He was sure he could stay with Sirius and James but he didn't know how long he wanted to rely on them for support. He did not want to put them in any danger by him being there, although they were already in danger as they were friends with Pettrigrew. He didn't want to be the cause of any extra danger.
With that in his mind all he had to decide when he was going to leave, and preferably where he was going. Probably out of the country, at least it was safe there, and maybe he'd come back, of course he would come back when all of this was over.
"Hi," Regulus turned over on his side to stare down at his completely naked nephew.
Apparently the little guy thought that greeting him in the morning was funny because he immediately stared to giggle. He used his hands to press the noise back but it didn't help very much.
"Hi," The older of the two smiled softly to him.
Harry stopped giggling almost immediately and then ran over on his toes to give Regulus the best hug he could. Regulus picked him up off the floor and pulled him up on bed with him. Harry seemed pleased. He flopped down on his stomach and put his head on one end of Regulus's pillow his head turned to the side so that he could keep an eye on the new person.
Regulus turned his head to the side although he was lying on his back to study the young child. His eyes widened briefly when he realized that Harry's eyes were no longer blue but they were green. Why would anyone want to change those baby blues into this icky green color? Regulus reached over and gently placed a finger over one of his eyes. Harry closed them on instinct, giggling softly.
Harry quickly returned the favor when Regulus pulled back. He put both hands all over Regulus's face touching everything, sticking his fingers in any hole he could find. Regulus refrained from pulling away from the curious child. He also restrained himself from flinching at the hug he received when Harry was done. He even began not to mind the fact that Harry's head seemed to like to nuzzle in to his chest and that the rest of Harry seemed to think that Regulus was more comfortable then the bed.
"Harry, where'd you go?" James's usually confident voice was filled with sudden worry and nervousness. Harry as it seemed had crawled out of his crib again.
Harry's head shot up from his place on Regulus's chest and glanced over to the door, without thought of not to Harry cried out, "DA!"
A moment later James peaked in looking very relieved, "Rascal!" He moved into the room. "You're going to drive Daddy crazy!"
Harry giggled and sat up all the way pointing down at Regulus. He gurgled out a, "Ba."
The former-chaser seemed momentarily shocked to see his lover's brother there but he shook it off, "I'm sorry if he woke you. He wasn't in your way was he?"
Regulus shook his head, "No, actually I rather enjoyed it. He seems to like to be unclothed just as much as you do."
He earned an eye roll at that, but it had been common knowledge that James liked to walk around his dorm room naked and if he could help.
"Da!" Harry held his arms out to his Dad ready to be taken back into the front of the house. James lifted the naked child quickly and propped him up on his hip.
"We'll be in the kitchen if you need us," James explained to him. Apparently he too wasn't going to make any decisions for him, even ones as simple as when he should get out of bed. James smiled at him and then turned to leave the room.
Harry protested immediately. He bounced on James's hip and pointed back at Regulus, "Ba!" James stopped at the door looking down at his son who was suddenly trying to wiggle out of his arms. "Ba! BAAAAAAAAA!" He shrieked when James didn't comply with whatever he wanted.
Sirius was toppling over the two with in seconds. Remus soon appeared in the door way as well. "What's wrong?" Sirius asked glancing from James to Harry and then to his brother.
"Baaa," Harry whined holding his hands out towards Regulus he gripped the air desperately. Sirius frowned not fully understanding.
Remus on the other hand was great at trying to figure out what Harry meant and stepped into the room fully, "What's your ba Harry?" He moved closer to the bed and point at the bed, "Is this ba?"
"No!" Harry whined he turned to bury his face into James's chest extremely frustrated that no one would listen to him.
"HARRY!" James jumped suddenly as he was painfully bit. James set Harry down in annoyance and rubbed his bruised chest.
Harry quickly ran as fast as he could over to the bed bouncing on his toes trying to get Regulus to pick him up again. "Baaaa," he pleaded.
Sirius smiled brightly, "I think he wants you Reg." Sirius tilted his head in one direction and pleaded with his brother, "Come to breakfast with us?"
The younger brother nodded he couldn't deny his brother nor his nephew. Sitting up he stretched his arms out before standing up properly.
Harry quickly hugged his pant leg nuzzling his nose into it. "Ba," he let out a cute little sigh of content.
Regulus reached down to pick the little one up and followed the group out of the room.
"Look at it, Siri. Does it look bruised to you?" James whined at breakfast he had discarded his shirt, which didn't surprise anyone, and was trying to make Sirius look at his non-existent bite mark.
Sirius pushed him gently away, "There is nothing there James. His teeth are like this big," Sirius used his forefinger and thumb to demonstrate how big. James turned back to his waffles and pouted.
"Da," Harry chirped from his high chair holding out a piece of his own waffle. James held his own hand out where the piece was promptly dropped into it.
"Thanks," James eyed it wearily no telling where any of Harry's food had been once Harry touched it.
Regulus watched the family carefully from where he had gone to pour himself another glass of juice it seemed so strange for him to watch people be so happy over a little thing like breakfast but it seemed fantastic nonetheless. "Hey Regulus you done? Come back over here." Sirius waved him over. Regulus was soon in his seat next to his brother. "Have a good sleep?"
Regulus nodded, "At first. But then, I started to think about what was going to happen next."
James frowned looking up at him but he said nothing, Sirius on the other hand offered his brother advice, "Do want you want to do. I'll help you out anyway I can. I just want you to feel right about what you're doing. But, you're welcome to stay here forever."
"Although," Remus spoke up a humorous tone to his voice, "I don't think even James and Sirius are going to be doing that so perhaps not."
"That's right, after last night. Obviously our fiddelus charm didn't work out so well. It might not be very safe here anymore," James pointed out.
Sirius scowled, "Bloody rat! I knew he was acting funny!" He stabbed at his waffle, his face softened just a little bit. He looked up at James, "But I like it here."
"Me too, but Harry…" James turned to look at his son who was currently feeding the pet owl by throwing his food at him. "They wouldn't send someone who will let him live next time!"
Sirius nodded. He couldn't risk that, not for any of them. "We'll have to be careful about leaving too. They'll be watching us, for sure."
"Of course," Remus agreed, "Be careful about the post too that might be watched as well."
The three friends nodded in agreement but none of them moved to make any plans about where they were actually going to run to or how or when. The one to speak next changed the subject completely, "Why did you change his eyes?" Regulus asked his gaze locked with the child that sat between both parents.
"Lily's eyes are green," Remus stated he shrugged carelessly, "He has his mother's eyes after all."
Regulus wrinkled up his nose in disgust, "You made up this Lily entirely. How do you know what color her eyes are?"
"Because, I made her up entirely," Remus battered the younger wizard, "We had to think of something believable.
"I have an idea," James jumped in his chair, "Its bloody brilliant. So no one in the order besides us knows that Regulus is here, right?" he got nods of approval, "However they did know we would be attacked. Sooo…lets be attacked?"
"James isn't that what we don't want to do?" Remus looked skeptical.
"Don't be silly," James shook his head, "We'll blow up the entire house! And make it look like all three of us died, and I guess Regulus, at least that's what Voldemort will think. Remus you'll have to go back to your house and pretend like you haven't been here yet. The three of us will have to split up for the time being, understood?"
"What do you mean split up?" Sirius looked very nervous about that part.
"Well, Regulus can take Harry, the two of them can leave the country, and I think that's a fair way to keep both of them safe. The two of us will have to split up too. We're dead you see so we'll have to go undercover. I'll probably just turn into Prongs though and keep an eye on things. Sirius you can do whatever you want just don't use your wand for a while, magic can be track by that."
"So basically I'll go into Muggle Britain, Regulus will kidnap our son, and you'll play Bambi?" Sirius wanted to get everything straightened out. James nodded his plan of course seemed flawless to him, they always did. They also always seemed flawless to Sirius, "Bloody brilliant. Do you mind doing that Reg? It'll only be for a week, two at the most, I promise you."
Regulus shook his head, "But if I go out of the country wouldn't that cost money, someone might notice the withdrawal and what with you needing to get a flat and pay rent and such."
James shook his head, "I have enough money in the safe upstairs to keep everyone satisfied."
"So where should I go to?" Regulus questioned, the plan seemed to be alright just a little reassurance. Regulus had to get that reassurance he was a slytherin, after all, and their plans never failed, well hardly ever.
"Well, probably best not to decide until you get there. Just owl me in two weeks, that way there is no way anyone will know where Harry is but you," Sirius explained.
Regulus just stared at Sirius his mouth fell open but then he quickly shut it. He wasn't sure what to think, "You-you really trust me like that?"
"Of course, we do," James and Sirius answered at the same time.
Sirius pressed down Harry's mop of hair and then kissed him on the forehead, "You be good for Uncle Reggie, Harry. Mummy will see you soon."
Harry squirmed under the attention as Sirius said his goodbyes. He knew it was only going to be for two weeks but he had never been even a single night without Harry. He knew it was going to be hard, but then it was worth it, to keep the child safe, and his whole family safe. They were all going to get out of there, it would be perfect.
"Love you." He pressed a kiss to his baby's cheek before handing him over to Regulus. He tugged his little brother into a half hug careful not to squash Harry. "Love you too, take care, both of you."
"I promise I will," Regulus agreed. James and Sirius were going to stay a little long before they demolished the house. Remus was already at his own flat pretending he had no idea what was going on.
"Bye, bye Harry," James tugged Sirius to his side waving good bye to his son.
Harry waved back and parrot, "Bu-bu Da! Bu-bu Ma!" Harry knew what bye-bye meant as Remus used it often. It meant he was leaving but he always came back so Harry wasn't worried about where his parents were going or in this case where he was going. He just hugged his uncle around the neck tightly and went along for the trip.