Cooties
"Psst, Al…Al…Ally!" The five-year-old motioned his four-year-old accomplice and partner-in-crime to his side. Scooting as quietly as a four-year-old could, Alan maneuvered himself close to his next oldest brother. Silently, they peered through the leafy branches of the hedges that bordered the patio surrounding the in-ground swimming pool. The objects of their observation appeared to be unaware of their presence. Suddenly, Gordon's eyes widened in disgust and he looked over at his brother. "YUCK! He's going to get the cooties, Ally." His words came out a bit louder than he realized and he anxiously looked back at the patio.
"They not hear you, Gordy," Alan whispered back a bit quieter. "But why he going to get cooties? Mommy kisses us and we don't have cooties, do we?" With an air of superiority, Gordon tried to explain the origins of cooties and how they were spread.
"We don't have cooties because mommies can't pass them to us. Only yucky girls can give them to us," he began.
"But Gordy, Granma gives kisses to us all the time," Alan countered. "Why can't her give us cooties?" Sighing dramatically at his brother's obvious lack of intelligence in areas of importance and self-preservation, the red-haired boy continued.
"Duh, 'cause Grandma is a mommy. She's Daddy's mommy and that means she can't give us cooties either." Glancing back at the patio, he realized that only one of the two people that they'd been watching was relaxing on a lounge chair and he gasped out loud.
"WHAT?!?!" Alan cried out.
"He got the cooties and now he's all gone," Gordon said. Neither of them noticed the stealthy approach of the other person they'd been watching.
"BUT WE HAVE TO HAVE A DADDY, GORDY!" Alan's cry startled the woman on the patio and the three boys who had just come out of the backdoor of the house with towels slung over their shoulders. Two strong arms picked up the two boys scaring both of them. Squirming for all their worth, the man who had picked them up started laughing.
"Calm down," he said. His deep voice familiar and comforting to the two he held securely in his arms. "Now, what's this about not having a daddy?" Alan threw his little arms around his dad's neck and sobbed.
"We thoughted that the girl cooties made you go away," he managed to cry out. "Gordy said… that we can't… get cooties from Mommy… but she's not your mommy." His cries changed into hiccups yet Gordon had yet to say anything.
"Gordon, what's wrong?" Jeff asked. By this time, Lucy, Scott, John, and Virgil had all gathered around the side of the patio. The three oldest were trying to choke back their laughter while Virgil watched with a confused expression. After all, he knew about girl cooties and steered well clear of that mess.
"How come you didn't get the girl cooties, Daddy?" he finally asked.
"Well, son, it's like this, I can't get girl cooties from your mother because she's my wife and the mother of my children," he explained with a half-hidden grin on his face. "But if I were to try to kiss another lady other than your grandmother or your mom then I'd get a horrible case of the girl cooties. They would be so bad that your mommy wouldn't want to talk to me ever again." He winked mischievously at Lucy and smiled at his oldest sons.
"Oh, Jeff, stop teasing the boys like that," she admonished with a soft smile gracing her fine features. Reaching over the hedge, she plucked Gordon from his arms and kissed his cheek. "Girl cooties aren't real, Gordy." A slight sparkle flashed in her second youngest's eyes and she quickly added a clear warning for her prankster of a son. "But that doesn't mean that you are to go and kiss girls. That's not polite and I don't want to hear of you doing such a thing. That goes for all of you boys." Alan looked over at Scott and an ornery smile broke out across his small tanned face.
"Mommy, I saw Scotty—" Scott suddenly cut him off with a well-timed question.
"Mom, can Gordy and Ally come swimming with us?" he asked. "We'll watch them and include them in our games even if they are just babies." Both of the youngest boys scampered off towards the house to change as soon as Lucy and Jeff had given their permission and set them down. John, Virgil, and Scott ran to the pool and jumped in. A few minutes later, Gordon and Alan barreled out the backdoor towards the pool. With matching grins, the Terrible Two splashed their three older brothers.
"Jeff, I think that maybe Scott has gotten over his fear of "girl cooties"," she said while keeping an eye on their rambunctious sons.
"If she's half as beautiful as you then it's quite understandable," Jeff replied leaning down to kiss her once again.