(An Altered Destiny)
By Jim Robert Bader
(Based on the works of Rumiko Takahashi)
The wedding ceremony was a simple one, done in traditional style with bride and groom dressed up in formal kimonos. The Shinto priest had performed the ceremony diligently and without flaw as the families formally signed the marriage contract, then had the bride and groom write their own mongs in the designated place to make it official. The ceremony proceeded apace with the few guests and well-wishers escorting the "Happy Couple" to their bedchamber, then tucking them in before at long last retreating to give them some privacy and peace, and-hopefully-to consummate their marriage.
Fine and dandy, only there was a little problem with this scenario...a big one, actually in light of circumstances that were prevalent on this not-so-happy occasion. The groom, you see, was Saotome Ranma, heir to the Saotome and Tendo schools of anything goes martial arts...
And the bride was me, Tendo Nabiki.
I remember vividly that night when the two of us were alone, neither one of us saying anything, just sitting and staring into space, keeping our own private counsel as the minutes stretched on and the voices of the well-wishes slowly dwindled off into nothing. I don't really know what I can say about my own feelings on the occasion...maybe numb would be a good summary, because of all the women who had been after Saotome Ranma, I happened to be the very last one whom I ever thought would be beside him at the altar.
Okay, so maybe it's not such a far-fetched idea. I mean, the guy was handsome, charismatic, had this...force of animal magnetism that surrounded him, of which I was hardly unaware, so maybe under different circumstances I would have counted myself a lucky girl and made the best of it all. Only things weren't so smooth between us that night, and the reason was my late and lamented little sister, Akane.
After a while I felt Ranma move away from me, and for some reason that actually made me feel sad, even if it was what I'd more-or-less expected him to do. He got up and went to the sliding door, pausing for a moment before at last opening it in preparation for stepping outside.
"Ranma?" I had asked, halting him with that one worded inquiry.
I heard him sigh before he replied, "I just need some air. I'll be back, Nabiki."
That was it, just Nabiki. No acknowledgement of what we had just done or the changes that had come over our lives, simply a statement in the form of my name that was politely worded but as formal as any other declaration. He was gone a moment later, and I think I actually shed some tears before turning in and getting my sleep. After all, I had a plane to catch in the morning, and a life to get onto.
That was four years ago, a fraction of my life, yet an eternity in time. I had been eighteen and was already accepted into an American business university. A whole new life beckoned for me, the only thing that had kept me in Japan until that night was a promise to my father and a memory of a ghost that would forever hang between Ranma and me.
So now I was back in Japan, a full graduate with an MBA in business, ready to take on the world in style, just like I'd always dreamed when I was little. Four years in a foreign country had taught me a lot about life and given me a broader, more cosmopolitan outlook on life and the things that I was capable of doing with it. Travel really does broaden the mind, after all, but somehow I'd felt the pull drawing me back at long last. Back to Japan, back to Nerima...and back to him, which is where I really begin my story.
Funny after all this time, standing at the gates to the shrine of my cousins-by-
adoption, the Masakis, how the mind wanders back to happier years when life had seemed so carefree and innocent and nothing ever really changes. How na ve we all were to think that it could go on that way forever, as if life didn't hold all sorts of unpleasant surprises in store for us every time we become complacent.
I paused under the shadow of the Torii because I had an instinct that my patience would eventually be rewarded, and sure enough, perhaps only less than half of an hour tops, it was and he appeared. Looking across the distance of the square where he emerged from the shrine with a rake in hand, preparing to sweep up leaves that had recently fallen, I saw a stranger who looked a little like Ranma but who moved with a kind grace and sadness. He was taller than I remembered, maybe even broader in shoulder, but I'd know his face anywhere, even hardened and matured by the years. Black hair, cobalt blue eyes and a hint of presence that you could feel in the air like the tension that precedes a stormcloud. Only the priestly robes he was wearing were out of place, making him seem so...formal and distinguished.
Ranma...my husband.
I saw him stop mid-way to his goal and turn his head to look in my direction, and then recognition was there, which gratified me more than words could ever translate. I'd been half-afraid of coming here, of seeing rejection in those eyes or-far worse-simple indifference. There was something new in those eyes that I'd never seen before, something I almost did not recognize, a kind of quiet acceptance, as if to welcome me back into his life after so many years of distance between us.
"Nabiki," he said as he faintly smiled, and that was enough to make me start breathing once again. I'd imagined this moment in my mind a thousand times, but now that it was actually happening my well-rehearsed speeches and pre-planned scenarios simply vanished out of my head. I felt momentarily lost as my feet started moving without my specifically ordering them to do so, but I knew I had to close that distance which remained so that I could once again face him. There were too many things that I had to say, but all that really counted was that I be with him when I said them.
"Ranma," I replied once I was within a few paces of my husband. Not Ranma-kun or even Ranma-chan, just simply Ranma. I was too uncertain about my footing at this point to risk saying or doing the wrong thing, and as I looked at him I felt my courage begin to falter. A silence fell between us once again and hung there in the air while the wind stirred some leaves, making the only sound in that entire yard.
"So," he said after I don't know how long an interval, "You're back...in Japan, that is."
"Looks that way," I replied, inclining my head to give him a brief lopsided smile that might have been a shadow of my old sardonic smirk as I said to him at last, "You're a hard man to track down. I had to hire a detective, or else I never would have guessed that you'd be taking over from your cousin."
"Grandfather Katsuhitsu gave me a place to stay while I take care of the shrine," Ranma replied, "It's honest work, and at least I have a roof over my head."
"Spoken like the young man I knew," I said with faint-hearted facetiousness, "You never did have a reliable business sense, Ranma. Just room and board in exchange for labor? I could have worked out a better deal for you than that."
"No doubt," Ranma replied, then he seemed to regain some sense of our surroundings and said, "Hey, you must have come a long ways and you're probably tired. Why don't you come back to the house and I'll get you something to eat...unless you've got someplace else you have to be, that is..." he added the latter part almost as an afterthought.
I mentally shook my head in disbelief. Ranma had learned some manners while I was away! In the old days he'd just have shrugged in that affable way of his and said something rude about helping myself to whatever was in the fridge. I didn't know whether to be pleased or alarmed by this turn of events as it made me wonder what else about him had changed in the time since I'd last seen him.
Sitting down in the rustic little house that belonged to his cousin's grandfather made me reflect on the vast differences that had always been between us. Let's face it, I'm a modern material girl while Ranma...he's like a traveler from some distant, mythic age where men could be heroes and face dragons for the honor of comely ladies. Ranma's manners were impeccable as he poured tea for us both, so much so that I almost expected him to do the whole elaborate Tea Ceremony thing, like he'd learned to do when facing a challenge in the forests of Ruwenza.
But Ranma was thankfully informal as he asked me how I was and what I had been doing with myself, so I did my best to answer his questions truthfully and accurately, thinking that I might bore him with the details of my college years. Of course I was surprised when asked if I was seeing anyone special, and that casual question by itself caught me flat-footed. I stammered a reply, admitting to a few dates, but I insisted that nothing ever came of it and I hadn't really been...well, for lack of a better word, unfaithful.
"Why not?" he asked with a curious expression, "I wouldn't have gotten mad at you or nothing. I only wanted you to be happy..."
The way he said that caused us both pain. I could see it in his eyes, and I felt a clenching at my heart that caused us to shy away from the subject for the next several moments, but at last I can't stand it anymore and I have to go and blurt out, "Ranma...why didn't you ever file for divorce, like we planned? I wouldn't have blamed you."
I saw his eyes react in pain, and then he blurted out, "I couldn't...I couldn't do that to you, Nabiki. You don't deserve to be treated that way, and the least I could do for you was to give you my name...just in case you needed it."
That floored me totally. He was thinking about me that way? Why? What had I ever done for him to earn such loyalty? Not that I care one whit about what people say about divorced women in this country. In the states if you haven't had at least one or two by the time you're my age then you probably haven't even been dating.
Ranma had been loyal to me for reasons I didn't need to be explained seeing as how traditional-minded he could be on some subjects, but hadn't he even been thinking of himself in all this time. I mean, the guy could have had Ukyo or Shampoo, for Kami's sake, but instead he got me...ME! The cast-iron bitch who was always teasing and exploiting him for money. We hadn't exactly been the best of friends when he had been living under our roof eating food like a human vacuum cleaner that I worked so hard to earn and Kasumi would prepare with loving devotion. Back then the only reason I could put up with his arrogance and monumental egotism was because he was engaged to my little sister. When I think of all the cruel schemes I used on him to put a few hundred more yen on the table I have to wonder that he wouldn't give me the boot the moment he set eyes on me again.
Instead he let the time pass by and never made inquiries to learn how I was doing. He had gone off on who-knows-what quest after I went to America, and now he was here, older and sadder and looking like he hadn't a friend in all the world. I didn't see much resemblance in him to the guy who used to pride himself on being an invincible martial artist.
But then again he probably wasn't feeling so invincible anymore...not since that last fight when he met an opponent he couldn't defeat, when we'd lost my little sister and Ranma had returned home all but broken by his failure...
Damn Saffron! I hope he rots in whatever hell they exile fallen gods! If he hadn't stuck my sister's soul in that damned doll...
Yet I digress. I don't want to open up those old memories. I got the story later from Mousse after I'd more-or-less got him to fess up to his part in the whole affair. He'd told me a pretty wild story that sounded quite typical of the adventures of Ranma, with the sole exception being the ending when he'd arrived just a few instants too late and defeated the bad guy, only to find Akane's soul had permanently left her body. I don't really blame Ranma for what he did next to the place, but I understand that China is now missing one of its mountains...
Okay, enough ruminating about ancient history. Time to bring myself back to that moment when I was looking into my husband's eyes and seeing those ghosts from his past were still alive for him. I asked him what he had been doing with his life, and he just gave me a little smile and said, "Oh, this and that. I've done some more travel, picked up a few new moves, nothing much to talk about."
Uhuh. When Ranma says, "Nothing much to talk about" that's usually his code for saying that he's been keeping himself pretty active. I lack sufficient imagination to mentally picture the sort of wild, chaotic adventures he must have had over the last few years, but it seemed to have all ended within the scope of the previous several months. Ranma had not been wandering anywhere since taking over his duties at the shrine. In fact, he almost seemed to have been growing roots to the place when I showed up to remind him of his former existence.
I asked about his old girlfriends and Ranma gave me the straight scoop about what they had been up to. Seems Ukyo's restaurant business is a big success these days, and she owns at least four other branches in the Tokyo, Kyoto and Yokohama districts. She and Ranma are still friends, but she's been dating someone else, having finally given up on him ever honoring their engagement. I'm frankly surprised about that as she had been one of the most tenacious suitors and I'd half been expecting her to move in on Ranma while I was away. That prompted me to ask about Shampoo and Ranma surprised me again by telling me that she had been expecting a daughter the last time he had seen her.
And who was the father? That he wouldn't tell me, except to say that it wasn't Mousse, but that he was off the hook in terms of marriage to her due to an arrangement he'd worked out with Cologne. I decided not to press him any further as the details were probably not what I would care to hear about anyway.
Ryoga had settled down with Akari while Kuno had gone on a pilgrimage of his own to fulfill his dreams of being like the Samurai of old, and to honor his memories of my fallen sister. Kasumi had married Tofu, of course, and were comfortably settled down running the Clinic while Daddy had moved in with them and was being cared for since he couldn't manage the house by himself without us being present.
And our House? It was mostly abandoned, Ranma informed me, mainly because Daddy had given the place to him as a wedding present, and Ranma never had the heart (or maybe the business sense) to sell the place for all that he almost never went there anymore. I think this news saddened me as if I were hearing about an old friend, for that House had been my world growing up and had so many memories for me. I never realized that I would ever miss it, but it's hard to let go of your roots when you come from a family that has such a strong sense of tradition.
Of course Ranma's father was living at their old place with his wife, not that I cared too much about the old panda or whatever it was that he was up to. I was surprised to hear that they had given Ranma a little sister, who was named (naturally enough) Ranko in honor of her brother. Ranma even spoke with a trace of his old pride when he described how quick and alert she was, already three years of age and showing the potential to one day be a great martial artist, like he was.
Of course all this brought back to me the circumstances under which the two of us had made our arrangement so many years ago, back when Daddy had started to pressure us about the promise between our families. I remember feeling horribly outraged that he would even suggest such a thing when Akane's ashes were not quite cold, and I'd even resorted to yelling against him, which is something I never would have done if he'd been even the least bit compromising! I thought a time of grief at least would have been appropriate before bringing up such a damnable issue! I told him it was that stupid vow that had caused the whole mess leading up to Akane's death, and I can still remember how pale he was as if I'd just stabbed in the chest with a dull-edged knife.
In a way I almost wished I had because it would have been kinder. All I know is that Daddy collapsed from the strain, and three days later I kneeling over his bed feeling miserable and confused, which is how he got me to promise to marry Ranma as I wasn't very much feeling like my old self at that precise minute.
When I came back to some awareness of what I had done I felt trapped, and for a time I even blamed it all on poor Ranma. When he didn't even flinch at my accusation I knew that I was being monstrously unfair to him, which was when I hatched my clever little scheme to get us both off the hook with that stupid promise. We'd both agree to marry, then we'd part company and, after a brief interval of maybe a year or so, Ranma would be able to file for divorce on the grounds of desertion. We'd both be clean and he could marry whoever he wanted while I'd go on to become a major force in the business community. Nice, neat and tidy, like all of my best schemes.
So whoever thought that I'd ever miss the guy? Or that I'd start to feel bad about the whole thing before we even said our vows? Or that maybe I knew in my heart that it would hurt Daddy even more than my accusation if I used such an obvious loophole to avoid fulfilling the spirit, if not the letter, of my promise?
Damn him anyway! Who did he think he was ordering us around like that and planning out our futures? What with everything that happened in our lives because of that idiotic pledge I sometimes wonder why I don't actually hate him! If Akane had been free to choose whether or not to be engaged to Ranma then I wouldn't have to feel like I was living in her shadow all the time! But then I was always living in my little sister's shadow. She was the Princess in our house, and I was just her older "wicked sister," the mercenary!
I looked up at Ranma with the benefit of years and saw how much he had aged in the years since I had first met him. There was a scar over one eye that hadn't been there before...an old wound long healed by the look of it (he always healed so far, though, so whatever it was must have been pretty awful!). He had a heavier brow and his eyes looked more sunken and brooding. There was a gentleness there, but it seemed as if he were only a shadow of the man I'd once called the Walking Ego. He had changed even more than I had, and I started to feel something tight in my chest as if sensing the weight that he carried was ever so much greater than mine.
"So," Ranma said tightly, "Now that you're back...what do you plan to do, Nabiki?"
"Well," I admitted tersely, "I have a job interview lined up with a company in the Furinkan district. It's an executive slot with real chances for promotion, and the pay is pretty good, but I want to hear more about what they have to offer."
"I'm glad," he smiled.
"Glad?" I said.
"You're finally living up to your dreams," he said, "I always knew you had it in you."
I felt something stir up in me as I thought of what he was saying, and then I asked, "What about your dreams, Ranma? Are you living up to them?"
He looked away before he replied, "I don't have dreams...not anymore."
"Ranma-kun?" I asked, feeling the weight of those words settle like lead in my stomach.
"It's okay," he tried to reassure me, "I get by, I always do. Hey, I'm a survivor, right? I'm Ranma Saotome...I never need to worry..."
"Ranma-kun?" I repeated, seeing his close his eyes as a wave of emotion crossed his features. He never was any good at erecting a good poker face, he's way too honest for that.
At least when compared to me he's certainly honest.
His eyes flew open, and he seemed startled as if he had momentarily forgotten where he was and what he was doing. He glanced at me then down at the table and reached for the tea-pot, saying, "I'd better get more of this on the fire. You never know when you might need some more hot water..."
"Then..." I paused before continuing, "You never did find a cure...for your condition, that is?"
"No," he replied as he got to his feet, "I never cured myself...but you know...it just doesn't seem all that important anymore. I only wanted the cure..." he paused before resuming, "To be normal for Akane."
I felt my mouth quirk a bit at that, "I'm sure she understood that, Ranma. You shouldn't carry it around with you all the time. It's not healthy."
"Easy for you to say," I heard him murmur as he went to heat some more water.
I could have let that crack pass me by, but it was the first sign of the Old Ranma that I had heard from him since my arrival. I let my temper show a bit as I retorted, "Oh no? You don't think I've been suffering all these years, is that it?"
"I didn't say that," he defended himself quickly.
"For your information, Saotome," I began, ignoring the fact that it was now my last name as well as his, "Not a day has passed me by when I haven't been wondering where you are or what you've been doing with yourself. You think that's easy? I've got the shadow of my little sister crawling around inside my head, telling me that I shouldn't be ignoring you or pretending like I don't care and..."
I stopped myself about this point, but it was too late, I'd let that last bit slip past my defenses. I saw him turn and look at me and for a moment our gazes locked and I saw both surprise and doubt flicker through his eyes, to which I just defiantly stared back at him as if daring him to deny that I had any feelings.
"I'm sorry," he said at last, turning away once again, probably to hide his obvious confusion, "I shouldn't have made you think I thought that way about you. You don't deserve that from me, Nabiki..."
It was more than I could take! The Ranma I knew would have gagged on those words rather than to utter them with such self-deprecating humility. I think I must have just lost it for a moment because I quite vividly remember myself getting angry and declaring, "Goddammit, Saotome! Look at me when you say things like that! I'm your wife, for Kami's sake! You owe me a straight answer!"
"What do you want me to say?" he turned around, at once on his guard and looking defensive, "What do you want from me, Nabiki? I'm not a mind reader, you know! There's no Martial Art that's gonna tell me what I've got to do to make things right between us!"
"Make things...?" I stammered, "Ranma-kun...do you want things to be all right with us? I don't think I ever remember us being the best of friends..."
"No," the defiance he's just displayed died in him once again, like smoldering embers that were not quite hot enough to rekindle the old fire, "I don't know what I want, Nabiki...I just don't want to fight with you any more. I never wanted anyone to get hurt or to suffer because of me, and I know it's all my fault that Akane got dragged around by that stupid promise, and then that bastard finally killed her..."
I saw him shuddering from head and foot as he closed his eyes for a second, probably to shut out the nightmares that I knew he had to be reliving. When he spoke again his voice shuddered with long pent-up emotions as if it were all escaping from him in a rush he could no longer control or hold back. I can't even begin to imagine what the words cost him, but I felt my heart going out to him as he said, "Kami...I've tried to make things right again, to make up for all the people I've ever hurt, but nothing I can do will ever make it right. Don't you see, Nabiki? I destroyed everything I touched because of my selfishness! I could never bring myself to say the things I know I should have said to Akane, and all I did was make her so unhappy, and then she'd try to impress me that she was just as good a Martial artist as Ukyo or Shampoo and..."
His voice caught in his throat, and then his knees gave out and he sagged to the floor. I don't know quite how but I suddenly crossed the small space between us and was at his side, gripping him by the arms as the rest of the words continue to flow out of him like a torrent containing all the unshed tears of a lifetime.
"I never wanted any of this! I never wanted to make my whole life into one endless fight against everyone who ever had a grudge against me! I'm tired of it all, Nabiki! Even when I destroyed Mount Phoenix it didn't make things any better! I had to do what I could to make things right for Ukyo and Shampoo, but after that...I just needed to be by myself for a while..."
"Ranma," I said, hugging him into my lap as he leaned into me and continued to let it all go, but then he surprised me again by saying, "But you know the really sick thing? I've never been able to be alone, not ever! They're always in my thoughts, each and every one of them, including you...no matter what I do, where I go, who I find myself going up against, I've always got you guys there with me..."
"Ranma-kun," I said gently, but he was now onto complaining about his life, telling me how angry he was that his father had done all those things to him, dragging him from home, keeping him away from his mother, promising that they'd both commit suicide if he proved to be unmanly, and being promised to all those fianc es...it was just too much for one young man to carry around with him, and it had slowly been driving him a little crazy. It was getting so he needed to find a way to punish himself for having been so mindlessly self-centered, and that was the point when I'd had more than enough. I couldn't stand to see him like this...not him, not Saotome Ranma!
It took a real effort to force him out of my lap and set him upright so that I would be able to reach him, and then I brought my hand back and slapped him...hard! The first slap was like hitting a marble bust, but I brought my hand around again and hit him with the palm this time. I decided about that point that he either must have gotten my point or my hand would be broken on the third try, so I seized him by the shoulders and gave him a hard shake, then in a firm and determined voice I said, "You are Saotome Ranma of the Anything Goes School! You are not a god, you can make mistakes, but you always, always triumph in the end! Now snap out of it or do I have to really get serious?"
I think he blinked only once, looking at me as if I'd gone totally insane, but then very slowly the pain and fatalism melted from his eyes and he looked at me in a way that I had never seen him look at me before. I think it frightened me at that moment, and when he got back to his feet I couldn't help looking up at him and wonder if he really had gone crazy.
"I am Saotome Ranma of the Anything Goes school," he said, his voice having a confidence that was not there before, but then in softer tones he added, "And I accept your challenge."
Challenge? I think my mind went numb at the word. I mean, this was Ranma we're talking about here! This guy is a walking powerhouse, a living dynamo of energy who eats martial arts for breakfast! And here is little old me hunched down by his feet, a notorious non-fighter who only does martial arts to keep in shape between business meetings. If he was meaning to attack me then there was not a damned thing I could do about it, and in that remote little shack no one could hear me scream or raise a word of protest.
But then Ranma sat down in a fluid move that carried the grace and suppleness that I'd always admired about him. He was only a meter away from me but there was something very calm and composed about his expression. He closed his eyes and began to breathe deeply while I remained where I was, totally fascinated by his inexplicable behavior. I wondering what he's up to when his eyes slowly open, and then he moved in a flash without hesitation or warning.
Suddenly I find myself transported back to the middle of the room with Ranma looming over me and I'm bent over with my back pressing against the tea table. My heart is pounding like a clock and I feel myself going utterly weak and helpless with his strong arms wrapped around me. His face is hovering only a few inches above my own and there is a question in his eyes. He's ready to make his move but he wants a last confirmation that this is something we can both live with.
And then I suddenly find myself yielding to him, realizing in that moment that there is only one thing I truly want, only one dream that I've carried in me for the longest time, and now that it's finally here I'm not about to let him slip away from me again. That feeling that I'd carried inside me since the night of our honeymoon gives way to another feeling that I've never known before. I don't know what words to put to this new feeling, but it feels completely right, and I've no doubts at all that this is what I've yearned for.
"Ranma..." I breathe, then I belatedly change the words to, "Ranchan."
"Nabiki..." Ranma murmurs back as he lowers his face towards me, our mouths melting into a kiss that will go on and on forever without relent. Four years melt away as I am embraced by my beloved husband, and at last I am his wife in every sense that truly matters. The shadows melt away and the ghosts of the past at last fall silent.
And we are in our own world at last, two lonely souls who will nevermore be lonely!
The End.
Comments/Criticism/Collective Sigh of Relief: shadowmane
Why did I do this short piece of sad fiction? I just had a yearning to try something different with Ranma and Nabiki, and I hope you all like it. It was inspired by another short story (I forget which author) that explored what would become of Ranma if he had not save Akane from Saffron. This is my own take on the resolution to the Ranma series, and while it poses certain assumptions about the characters my intent was do bring honor to the universe that Takahashi created. I hope in this that I was successful.
Jim Robert Bader March 22, 1999
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