Title: Transition
Summary: Sequel to "The Heart of the Matter". Ninety-five percent of the time, Olivia was extremely proud of Casey and what she had done, but there was that pesky little five percent in which Olivia cursed--somewhat selfishly--Casey's involvement in this case.
Spoilers: None.
Pairing: Casey/Olivia, beginning stages.
Rating/Warning: T for extremely occasional language. Also, femslash. No smut because I just can't do it. ;)
Disclaimer: Olivia Benson, Casey Novak, and the rest of the SVU crew belong to Dick Wolf. I'm just playing in his toybox.
Author's Note: I've had the idea for this story since I finished the other one, but for one reason or another, I hadn't been able to get it out on paper. But it's been two and a half years since I finished the first one, and I still get the occasional email or PM or review asking for the sequel. So, here you all go. :)
Olivia Benson's eyes were filled with sympathy as she watched Casey Novak murmur quietly into the cell phone that was pressed tightly against her ear. She was speaking so softly that from her seat on the easy chair, Olivia could only hear Casey's voice and not what she was saying. After drawing in a shaky breath, Casey brought her free hand to her forehead and shut her eyes. Olivia wordlessly vacated her seat and nestled in next to the young attorney on the sofa.
Casey immediately welcomed the comfort, turning sideways on the couch so that she could lean back against the detective. She gave a soft half-smile when Olivia's hand found her free one. For a long while, Casey was quiet, listening intently to the person on the other end of the line. When she was finally able to get a word in, her voice was hushed, gentle. "Sweetie, we've been through this before. They won't--"
Interrupted, she again fell silent. When Olivia felt Casey's had begin to tremble in hers, she tightened her grip. Casey squeezed back and from the way she slowly let out a breath through her nose, Olivia could tell that she was attempting to keep tears at bay. "I can't. It's not that I don't want to, you know that. I want it more than anything in the world, but I can't."
This time Olivia could hear sobbing through the phone as the tiny voice rose in hysteria.
"Shh," Casey whispered into the phone. "Maddie, you need to calm down. Take a deep breath … good girl. That's it."
Casey continued her quiet and soothing murmuring until the girl calmed. Soon Olivia could no longer hear the small voice. The outburst had exhausted the people on either end of the phone. "It's getting close to bedtime, honey," Casey said once the little girl had stopping crying. "Did you say good night to George and Beverly?"
She must have received a satisfactory answer because she nodded her head slightly. "You know you can call me again if you need to, right?" Another beat of silence. "Absolutely. Good night, sweetie."
After waiting for the click on the other end of the line, Casey snapped her phone shut with a shaking hand. Olivia used the hand that was not entwined with Casey's to slip the cell phone from the ADA's grip. She reached behind her back to deposit the phone on the endtable and then she began absentmindedly twirling a lock of Casey's red hair around her finger. "Is everything all right?" she asked although it was obvious from Casey's body language that things were nowhere near all right
It was a few seconds before Casey replied and when she did, the helplessness in her voice made Olivia's breath hitch in her throat. "She's so sad, Liv. She's not settling in with the Archers at all."
"Well, it has only been a month," Olivia said comfortingly.
"It's been thirty-seven days." The ADA didn't even have to look back to know that a shadow of disbelief and incredulity had crossed the detective's eyes. "I've been keeping track," she explained weakly.
"Apparently." The detective sighed softly as she frowned down at Casey in concern.
Ninety-five percent of the time, Olivia was extremely proud of Casey and what she had done, but there was that pesky little five percent in which Olivia cursed--somewhat selfishly--Casey's involvement in this case. And right now, seeing how all of it was affecting the ADA, this moment was part of that five percent. "All I'm saying is that it hasn't been that long, in the grand scheme of things. It's going to take time for a little girl to form a bond with foster parents."
"But she's not bonding with them at all." To anyone else, it would have sounded like Casey was whining. But there was a hint of hopelessness, of failure, of complete desperation that only Olivia could hear. "She's not letting them in."
No words were going to be any comfort to the young attorney, Olivia realized. Instead of offering more hollow words, empty comforts, she settled for simply tightening her hand around Casey's.
Seven weeks earlier, Casey had scared the hell out of the entire sixteenth precinct when Elliot and Olivia wound up having to rush her to the emergency room with a severe case of pneumonia. During her stay in the hospital, Casey met eight-year-old Madelyn Donovan, who was a frequent guest in the pediatric unit while awaiting heart surgery. The ADA and the little girl had formed a fast and extremely close bond, and over the course of conversation, Casey had discovered Kim Donovan's neglect of her young daughter.
It was a month ago--well, thirty-seven days, going by Casey's count--that little Maddie was removed from her mother's care. Or, Olivia supposed, the lack thereof.
Unfortunately for both Casey and Maddie, ACS would not allow Casey to take Maddie in herself, due to both her irregular hours and the nature of her work. Instead Maddie's social worker, a young woman by the name of Jennifer Lowe who coincidentally was a college acquaintance of Casey's, had placed the little girl with Beverly and George Archer. They were a pleasant, middle-aged couple who had looked into foster parenting and adoption after learning that they were unable to have children of their own.
A soft and weary voice startled Olivia back to reality. "What happens if the Archers simply give up?"
"Do you really think that they will?" She supposed that answering Casey's question with one of her own was a little unfair. But she knew how deeply involved Casey was with this case and she wanted to gauge how much of Casey's concern was her own reaction and not some conclusion she had arrived at based on anything the Archers had told her in confidence.
"The human heart can only take so much rejection, Liv. Sooner or later, they're going to have to wonder if this is really a good match."
So it was Casey's own reaction. Olivia wasn't quite sure how she felt about that. Obviously it was better for everyone involved that the Archers themselves hadn't said they were ready to give up, but she hated that Casey was so distraught over the whole thing.
She let out a soft sigh and lightly rested her chin on the top of Casey's head. She stopped twirling the lock of hair and instead began running her fingers through it, brushing wispy strands out of the ADA's eyes. "Do you think it's a good match?"
The ADA was quiet for a long while, so long in fact that Olivia was beginning to wonder if she'd dropped off to sleep. She'd certainly sounded worn out and exhausted after that phone call. "I think it could be a good match if she'd just let them in. I don't understand why she's being so guarded."
"Casey, you knew this was going to be a hard adjustment for her," Olivia murmured softly.
"I know," Casey answered with a sigh. "I just didn't realize that it was going to be this hard."
Olivia shut her eyes and sighed quietly. The past thirty-seven days had not been easy for anybody involved with the Donovan case. Maddie had to deal with the fact that her whole life had been tossed into a state of upheaval on top of having to recover from open-heart surgery. She had built tall and strong walls around herself and she adamantly refused to let them down. George and Beverly Archer had been warned ahead of time that they were in for a long and emotionally trying road and they were trying their hardest not to take Maddie's resistance personally.
And poor Casey was stuck in the middle. She tried to comfort the Archers and assure them that Maddie was just going through an understandably difficult time and that she'd come around eventually. On top of that, she had sort of become Maddie's unofficial therapist. She was the only one Maddie would really talk to, and every evening the ADA received a phone call from the little girl.
They talked about everything and nothing: Maddie's day at school, what she did with her friends, the activities in her after-school art program. Casey had told her more than once that all these topics were things that she should have been discussing with the Archers, but she didn't mind allowing the girl to talk her ear off.
At least when the phone calls had gone well, Casey was still putting her faith in the system and herself, sure that she had done the right thing. But over the past few nights, the calls were ending with Maddie in tears and begging Casey to let her live with her and Casey close to tears, regretfully reminding her that she couldn't.
After another long stretch of silence, Olivia again squeezed Casey's hand. It was probably a futile attempt at comfort, but it was the only thing she could do. "Just give it a little more time, Casey. It'll work itself out."
Casey let out a heavy breath through her nose. "I'm glad you think so," she mumbled wearily, "because I'm not so sure."