Chapter 1
Raymond is a Griffindor. At least he is pretty sure he is. Life has been going strangely for a while and he's pretty convinced he has some sort of serious mental disorder.
Very serious.
He often finds himself waking up in random places. No idea how he got there. Sometimes in the middle of a conversation. Sometimes in the middle of a spell. Sometimes... and this was embarrassing... naked, alone, at the Quidditch Pitch.
Now one might think that he should have gone to the Hospital Wing by now. But the worst thing is that he has tried! Over and over he has started that walk but before he could get anywhere near he always falls asleep, only to wake up in a completely different place.
His life is basically a living nightmare. He is stuck. And no one seems to have noticed. He wakes up randomly, often afraid, and then once something has happened, he just falls back asleep. Often whilst still standing!
Its strange.
Concerning.
And he feels he should be more worried about it.
But no one else is worried, and the oblivious atmosphere around him is contagious. Another thing that bothers him is that every time he wakes up he has some sort of situation to deal with. Its stressful to say the least, that his whole life has just been stressful.
He feels like someone is trying to play mind games with him.
Honestly it is hard to cope sometimes.
But he stays strong for some reason, he always feels that its just his purpose in life. To stay strong for everyone else. But he can't say it doesn't get tedious. He can't say that he doesn't worry about everything going on. He can't say that the fact that he is most probably mental doesn't get him down sometimes.
But he stays strong.
The things he deals with when he is awake used to bother him. But now he longs for conflict because that means he won't just fall asleep. Conflict is his life. Conflict is the only thing that stops him from falling into slumber. He doesn't know why, but every time he wakes there is some sort of problem to face, something for him to do. And once that problem is fixed then he falls back asleep.
The person he knows the most in the world is Draco Malfoy.
He feels as if it is sad that his enemy is the one he is closest to.
Raymond wishes they could be friends, but he fears the moment they are that he would never see this Draco boy again. That whenever he saw this person, this boy that stops him from falling into that inescapable slumber, that he would. That he would sleep and he would never get to see him again.
He can't even say thank you.
He can't even say a nice word.
He can't do... anything to be nice to Malfoy.
Raymond often wishes that he could break down. That he had the ability to break down. But he doesn't. For some reason he just... can't. He is always strong and always solving problems. That is his life. That is the only thing he ever does.
But he has had enough.
He does not want to fall asleep.
So Raymond decides he will stay awake for more than a few minutes. He will not solve the problems no matter how much he wants to, and he will be free from this prison that has become his life.
…...
He wakes in class. Potions. Staring down at his potion. Its a thick violet liquid and he quickly glances to the board to check what it is called.
Blood Replenisher Potion
Seems fitting for a class with a man so pale that he might be a vampire.
What seems to be the problem?
Then he hears the sneer of the person he is closest to. Malfoy. He turns to the blonde standing beside him. He says,
"What is it, Potter, you think you're too good for potions now?"
That's right. Raymond's last name is Potter. Raymond Potter.
He turns to him. He wishes could cry because then maybe this boy could see his anguish at being trapped in his awful life. Raymond says quietly,
"Something like that."
No need to fix the problem. No matter how much it goes against his own principles he will not fix this problem. The problem, Malfoy, can go stuff itself because Raymond is not going to sleep.
He sees the blonde boy pause. Then drawls,
"Why am I surprised?"
Raymond just cocks his head to the side and says,
"Surprised? Do tell?"
Malfoy looks at him quizzically.
"What's with you today?"
Raymond shrugs,
"I'm tired of living a life where I constantly fall asleep."
A look of confusion and shock dawns on Malfoy's face. He says,
"What's that supposed to mean..."
The world fades to black.
Fuck.
…...
Raymond wakes up with his back against the wall. His arms are being held by the blonde bane/hope of his existence. Pain shoots up on his face. Broken nose.
Why is he surprised?
Malfoy stops holding him the minute he doesn't fight back. Raymond looks up at the window. Its night. How long has it been? Hours? Days? Malfoy spits,
"Why aren't you fighting back?"
Raymond narrows his eyes,
"That would solve the problem and I have a plan."
Malfoy cocks his head to the side,
"What are you talking about?"
Raymond sighs. Malfoy disentangles his grip from the boy. He says,
"I have no clue what is happening in my life and there is nothing I can do to change that."
Malfoy lets out a startled gasp but then fixes himself. He sneers,
"What, the great Harry Potter, is having some personal problems? Please. You have all the glory, all the followers, all the friends. You're a Griffindor and the teachers don't judge you on your house. You-"
Raymond interrupts,
"What did you call me?"
Malfoy pauses,
"The great Harry Potter? I was being sarcastic. Don't let this boost your already huge ego."
Raymond stares.
"I'm... not Harry Potter."
Malfoy snorts,
"What the fuck do you mean?"
"I mean... My name is Raymond. What the fuck do you mean? How long have you known me? Don't you ever read a book? Look a picture? Sure. I've never read about the fabled Harry Potter but that's just because he sounds like an arrogant twit to me. Just because we share the same last name doesn't mean we're related. Have you seriously thought I've been Harry Potter all these years? Fuck. I thought you were a Slytherin."
Malfoy stutters,
"What... What are talking about? This is a joke right. Don't think you can fool me."
Raymond tilts his head,
"Lets go find a picture or something. You seriously don't believe me?"
Malfoy's brow furrows,
"No. I know you're Harry Potter. Don't take me for an idiot. I've read the history books. People call you Harry. What the fuck are you even talking about?"
Raymond rolls his eyes,
"All I know is my name is Raymond and I seem to always be awake when there is some sort of problem to fix. Now I do apologise for how I've treated you. I have wanted to be your friend. But, if there was no conflict between us I would have fallen asleep."
Malfoy takes a step back.
"Potter, I don't know what you're-"
Raymond glares,
"Do you seriously think I'm Harry Potter? He's meant to be some sort super wizard. I basically am insane."
Malfoy's eyes are glazed with worry,
"Maybe we should... go to the Hospital Wing."
Raymond laughs,
"Trust me. I've tried."
"What?"
"Well, every time I try and walk there I fall asleep. And every time there is no conflict."
Malfoy gives him a disbelieving stare,
"There's no conflict now."
Raymond pauses to think,
"Yeah. That is strange. Honestly this feels like the longest I've been awake in a long time... Speaking of which. Do you know what the day is?"
Malfoy pauses,
"Thursday. Why?"
"Um... The date. Not the day."
"Oh... Uh... The fifth of August."
Raymond pauses, then shouts in shock,
"I've been asleep for four fucking months!"
Malfoy narrows his eyes,
"No. I saw you yesterday."
"Uh... Don't be a prick. I haven't been awake since potions when we were making Blood Replenisher Potions."
Malfoy stares in alarm, things clicking into place in his mind, he gasps,
"That was... When you said... And then you said... And then... Fuck. We'd better get you to Madame Pomphrey before you fall asleep."
Raymond nods. Already feeling the pull towards sleep. He says,
"Don't drop me if I fall over but I feel like I'm goi..."
Raymond's eyes close.
…...
Raymond wakes up in a comfy chair staring at a not so comfy man. Professor Snape actually. Wasn't he just with Malfoy? What does this man want?
Raymond thinks he should be a little shocked but instead he just steadies himself for the confrontation. Snape stares at him contemplating for a second before he says,
"Who are you?"
Raymond laughs,
"My name is Raymond. Raymond Potter. I would've thought you'd known since I've been in your class for the last three years. Jesus sir."
Snape's eyes narrow. He says,
"Why are you here?"
Raymond's eyes flash in confusion,
"What do you mean? I just woke up."
Snape takes a breath. He says,
"So... You must be an alter who doesn't know about the others. Okay."
His eyebrows raise into his hairline and he says,
"Say what now? Alters? Others? What the fu- Sorry. What the hell are you talking about?"
Snape turns his head to the side. He says quietly,
"Harry Potter has a condition called Dissociative Identity Disorder. Due to traumatic events his mind has split into multiple personalities."
Raymond is slightly confused,
"What does this have to do with me?"
Snape sighs as if talking to child,
"You are one of the personalities, otherwise called alters."
Raymond stares in shock, mouth open, eyes wide. He says in alarm,
"I'm... not real. I just thought... I had some sort of mental condition that gave me blackouts but you're saying... I don't... I'm not..."
He takes a breath. Snape continues,
"What I am interested in is finding out who you are and what your purpose is?"
Raymond leans back into his chair and glares with mistrust. He spits,
"And why the fuck do you want to know? Whoever this Harry Potter person is I want nothing to do with him. From what I've read he sounds like a prick. I refuse to believe that I'm just some personality in his mind. I have desires. I have wants. I have a fucking plan for goodness sakes."
Snape pauses, curiosity lining his gaze,
"Plan?"
Raymond smiles, it took him a while to sort out a plan. He says smugly,
"Well I noticed I kept falling asleep all the time. So... I figured out how to stay awake."
"Go on."
Raymond glares,
"Well I'm not telling you. I don't know you. I certainly don't trust you and... Do you know what the date is?"
Snape sighs,
"Its the tenth of August."
Raymond nods and murmurs to himself,
"So its been five days then."
Snape tilts his head to the side,
"What do you mean?"
Raymond snorts,
"Since I convinced Malfoy to take me to the Hospital Wing. Since I was last awake."
Snape's eyes widen,
"It was you? You're the protector?"
"What do you mean protector?"
Snape begins,
"Well Harry has six known alters. One is Harry himself, the innocent unknowing Griffindor. The one I'm treating. Then there is a four year old boy, called Freak. Then there is a twelve year old girl called Rosemary. Then there Arthur, an angry boy who has just turned eight. Then there is Jonas, the same age as Harry, who seems to understand all the knowledge of his mind. He was talking about a protector, he couldn't say his name, but he was the one who protected everyone."
Raymond's eyes narrow in suspicion,
"Why are you telling me this?"
Snape sighs,
"You're the protector."
Raymond looks down,
"I don't understand. I don't... want to be the protector. I know I need to. I know I solve the conflicts. I know... But I want to stay awake. I hate to sleep. And I don't... I still think you're lying but I don't... want to be a part of someone. I want to be someone. And I fucking want to see Malfoy!"
Snape stares in shock for a few moments before he clears his throat,
"Malfoy?"
Raymond gulps,
"I don't know why I told you any of that."
Snape places a hand on the boy's shoulder,
"Its because Harry trusts me... with his mind. And that means on a subconscious level you trust me too. The only way for Harry to get better is if he acknowledges his trauma and accepts his alters. I know you care about him, deep down, even if you resent for some reason. I know you want to protect him and help him."
Snape pauses,
"What is this about Malfoy?"
Raymond is surprised with himself when he realises that he believes what the professor had said. He feels a relief to finally understand what is wrong. And it is somehow too easy to accept that he isn't really real. Raymond sighs,
"He's my only friend in the world, whether he knows it or not. Can I see him?"
Snape fails to hide the look of shock on his face, he says,
"Only friend? How are you friends?"
Raymond lifts his gaze so he can stare at the older man in the eye,
"He was the only one who really wanted me awake."
Snape sighs,
"I'll fetch him for you later. Will you tell me your purpose?"
Raymond gulps, breaking their linked gazes, and looks away.
"I think I'm the one who deals with the conflict. Until the conflict is solved I'm awake. I suppose that means I protect people. I guess."
He sniffs,
"I can't believe I'm not real. My whole life is a lie. But I suppose I never really had any friends. I never really knew anyone. The only people I've ever known have been arguing with me or afraid. I'm a fucking alter."
His head falls into his hands and Snape strokes his back gently,
"Its alright Raymond. Everything will be alright."
Raymond falls asleep.
…...
Raymond wakes up eye to eye with the red headed Weasley boy. The boy is shouting. Raymond only just discerns what he's saying,
"AND I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DIDN'T TELL US ANY OF THIS! ABOUT THE BLACKOUTS AND WAKING UP IN STRANGE PLACES! I THOUGHT WE WERE MEANT TO BE YOUR FRIENDS AND YOU DON'T EVEN TRUST US I DON'T..."
Raymond sneers,
"Who the fuck are you and what do you want?"
The boy pauses. Stares. He asks tentatively,
"Harry?"
Raymond rolls his eyes,
"Nope. My name is Raymond. Where are we?"
A girl sitting next to the boy shoots him a glare, she says,
"Ron! Look what you've done. You brought out one of his alters."
The newly dubbed Ron stares at the ground in shame. He says quietly,
"I'm sorry."
The girl stares at him with intrigue. She says,
"I haven't seen you before. Who are you?"
Raymond snorts,
"As I said before, Raymond. Who are you?"
"Hermione."
He nods.
"And what is the date?"
She says,
"The sixteenth of August."
Raymond sighs,
"So, six days then, I guess it could have been worse."
Hermione looks at him with confusion,
"Why are you here?"
Raymond rolls his eyes,
"I don't know, Hermione, I didn't chose this existence. I just woke up to some red head shouting at me. And, a few minutes ago, apparently six days, I found out I was an alter in someone's fucked up mind. So yeah... I have no clue why I'm here."
She sighs and says,
"What is your purpose? Or do you not know?"
"I'm a protector. Apparently. When there's conflict I wake up."
He shoots a glare at Ron,
"Thanks to your friend there it seems I am awake at the moment."
Ron murmurs 'sorry' again. Hermione says,
"So... uh... Raymond. Do you know how long you'll be here? I'd love to hear more about you."
Raymond snorts,
"I don't even know you. No. I need to find Malfoy."
Ron perks up,
"You say you're... a protector. Are you going to beat up Malfoy?"
Raymond glares,
"No. Seeing as he is my friend I thought I'd pay him a visit. Apparently he helped... harry is it? Its Harry right. Whatever. He was the one to take me to the Hospital Wing so I thought I ought to thank him."
Both of their eyes widen. Hermione says,
"Malfoy... helped you... I mean Harry?"
Raymond nods. He stands. The others look at him with worry and he sighs,
"You can come if you want."
Hermione smiles at that but Ron sulks more. They both stand and Raymond starts to lead them to Slytherin house, where he assumes Malfoy will be. On the way Hermione questions him. She says,
"Is there still conflict? Is that why you're still here?"
Raymond shrugs,
"I usually have to fix the problem to go back to sleep. Right now I think the problem is Weasley so... I'm not sure how to fix that. I've been meaning to see Malfoy anyway. I haven't seen him in months."
Hermione nods and Ron shrugs. She says,
"Do you remember anything from the Dursleys?"
Raymond nods,
"Yep. Horrible people they were. I think I was awake more back then. Always waking up in the middle of fights with Vernon and Petunia. A lot of conflict there."
Hermione stares in shock,
"What else do you remember? Harry doesn't remember much from back then. All of the alters we've seen don't."
Raymond shrugs,
"I'm not sure its really my place to say to be honest. Seeing as I'm not an actual person it probably isn't my secret to share."
Raymond pauses,
"You said you've seen the others. What are they like?"
Hermione nods at this question and says,
"Mostly its been this boy called Jonas. He's really clever. He knows a lot and he knows a lot about Harry and how his disorder works. Then there's Arthur. He's appeared a couple times. Apparently when Harry gets angry he appears and wrecks some stuff. The last one we've seen was a girl, Ron was shocked, her name is Rosemary. She apparently cleans and cooks. We're not sure why."
Raymond says,
"Probably when Harry had to cook and clean at the Dursleys. I remember a lot of fights about that."
Hermione nods and Ron continues to say silent, apparently sulking. She pauses for a moment before her next question,
"Was there any... physical fights at the Dursleys? You said you are the protector so I assume..."
Raymond nods. He says,
"Quite a few. Tell you what, it is a bit scary to wake up in the middle of a brawl. After a while you get used to it I suppose."
Hermione frowns at that but she cannot continue talking as they have reached Slytherin. Raymond walks up to the Dungeon door and realises he doesn't know how to get in. He stammers,
"I... uh... don't know how to get in."
Hermione says,
"Well neither do I."
Raymond then shrugs and decides to test something out. He hisses in Parstletongue Open. And suddenly the wall shifts. He smirks and says,
"Well I suppose it has more uses than opening chambers then."
He quickly steps inside. The others follow warily. Once inside it doesn't take them long to find Malfoy. Malfoy says,
"What do you want Potter?"
Raymond says quietly,
"Raymond."
Malfoy's eyes widen and he follows Raymond when he leads them out of the room and into an empty hallway. As soon as the group is alone Malfoy says,
"What is the meaning of this?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why are you..."
Raymond says quietly,
"I meant what I said when I hoped we could be friends. Really you're my only friend. You're the only one that liked me when I was awake. I just... I wanted to thank you for taking me to the Hospital Wing."
Malfoy smiles slightly,
"Well... Yeah."
Raymond nods,
"I hope to meet again."
He laughs,
"Its a shame I'm not a real person, eh? I can only imagine how you must be feeling. To find out your rival for three years is actually just a personality in someone's mind. That's got to hurt your ego."
Malfoy snorts.
"Oh yeah. I definitely got the worse deal out of both of us. Apparently now there's more Potters to annoy and that apparently means you're bat shit crazy."
Hermione and Ron look scandalised but Raymond just looks amused,
"Until next time Malfoy. I think I'm about to fall asleep."
Raymond nods just as his world falls into darkness.
…...
Raymond wakes up face to face with Snape. He sighs,
"What is the problem this time?"
Snape's expression changes,
"Raymond?"
Raymond nods and Snape murmurs to himself,
"But what conflict could he be feeling?"
Then he wakes up and says,
"I haven't seen you in a while."
Raymond rolls his eyes,
"What is the date?"
"The seventeenth of august."
Raymond smiles,
"I was awake yesterday then... Unless its been a year. Please tell me it hasn't."
Snape shakes his head,
"Nope. You said yesterday? What conflict was there?"
Raymond shrugs,
"Weasley was being a brat."
Snape nods. He says,
"Do you... feel any conflict now?"
Raymond shrugs again,
"There must be a problem if I'm awake. What was going on?"
Snape grimaces,
"Well I was talking about the Dursleys, as most of these sessions go, and suddenly Harry turned into you."
"Interesting."
"Very."
They both sit in silence for a moment. Raymond snorts,
"Wow. You're certainly good at this therapy thing, do you always just sit there in silence?"
Snape scowls,
"I normally talk a lot but I was unsure if you wanted to talk."
Raymond shrugs and Snape takes this as his cue to begin,
"With more talks with Jonas it has been revealed that you not only disappear once you fix a problem. You can also disappear when Harry feels back at ease. There is not always a specific problem to fix, as you may have noticed, sometimes you just awaken when Harry is getting afraid or uncomfortable."
Raymond nods to this,
"Well I'm sure the Dursleys are an uncomfortable topic."
Snape tilts his head to the side,
"What do you know about them?"
Raymond takes a breath. Do it for Harry. Do it for Harry. Do it for Harry. Since when has that become his mantra? He says,
"Snape, I don't know how to say this, but I fear the worst. Well... Not actually fear. I can't really fear things but... You get what I mean. I am concerned about the Dursleys. They seem like a source of constant conflict."
Snape nods and asks,
"What do you remember from them?"
Raymond takes another breath,
"I remember that I couldn't really fix the problem when I was there. I would fight. Never would I win. And once things got... I don't know..."
"Painful?"
Raymond nods,
"Probably. I have never felt pain or fear. I have always been strong. But when I suppose things did get like that I fell asleep... without being able to fix the problem."
Snape nods,
"Yes. I believe that was when Freak would come out. He seems like the alter who took abuse. He had not awoken yet, but from Jonas' information he is the one who took pain for Harry."
Raymond feels slightly shaken. He starts to speak again,
"I always hated it there. You know? Because... I could never really protect anyone. I never fixed the problem. I was just... I always fell asleep and normally that means I fix the problem but back there I failed. I failed at... protecting."
A tear runs down Raymond's cheek. He feels it. The anguish. The guilt. He was meant to protect that little boy. He continues,
"I... I failed him. Harry. I... I couldn't protect him. I couldn't stop them and... I... Those fucking bastards had their way with him and I did nothing for him. I couldn't stop them. Now the only thing I can do is... Protect him from things that don't matter. That he doesn't need protecting from."
Raymond slumps down in his seat, Snape says,
"Its not your fault-"
"I fucking failed him."
Raymond falls asleep.
…...