Zell's wacky inventions 8:Upside down, Inside out
Roses are red, bluebells are.....errrrr...blue, I don't own FF so nuts to you! ^_^
Hiya people! It's FINALLY the 8th wacky inventions fic, and this one's so wacky, it's right off the wacky scale!!! lol! I'm not gonna spoil anything, so here goes...
(It's another spring morning in Balamb garden, everything is peaceful......quiet......serene. The characters are all relaxing.....WHAT THE
%#$£ IS GOING ON?!?!?!?)
Zell:Dum de dum de dum....
(Zell is relaxing, for once, and is sitting in his chair, his latest invention shoved against the far wall. It looks like some kind of massive computer, and has "Z.S.C.W.T.A.S (zell's super cool weird thingy alert system)" written on the side)
Zell:sigh What a perfect day.....perfectly boring if you ask me..
(Suddenly, alarms go off, bells ring, and zell's machine starts flashing "RED ALERT!")
Zell:SHIT!!!
Machine:Warning! Warning! Abnormal frequencies detected! Space-time continium disrupted! Error! Error!
Zell:Ohhhhhh.....it's just an abnormal frequency....whatever that is....
Machine:Zell, something very bad is about to happen.
Zell:Wha?
Machine:sigh Check the microwave, Einstein.....AND HURRY!!!!
Zell:ALRIGHT ALREADY!!!! Stoopid smarty-pants computer.....
Machine:I heard that.
Zell:Don't give me gyp or I'll shut you off....I've got the remote, remember?
Machine:Just check the microwave....
Zell:......Alrighty!
(Zell opens the microwave door)
Zell:WHO PUT TIN FOIL IN HERE???? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS???
Machine:I give up...
Zell:YOU STUPID, STUPI.....
(FLASH!!!!)
Zell:Huh? What the hell?
(Zell looks around his room.....everything seems different somehow, but why?)
Zell:What's going on????
(Zell looks at his arm)
Zell:AGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! I'M 2-D!!!!
Machine:This isn't good....
Zell:Machine, am I in a CARTOON SHOW????
Machine:I'm afraid I don't know...
(Zell walks outside, and everything else is 2-D! He looks out of a window, and sees a scene similar to Trabia, an endless white tundra dotted with fir trees)
Zell:Where the hell am I?
(he hears some yelling from down the hallway and runs to investigate)
(Zell runs round the corner, and sees that Squall, Seifer, Irvine and Rajin are also 2D, but they are dressed in winter clothes, even Irvine, who is wearing an orange coat...)
Seifer:AGGGHHHH!!! MY ASS!!! DEAR GOD!!!! JESUS!!!!
(Seifer lets off a loud fart that somehow sets itself on fire)
Squall:Okay Seifer you can stop farting fire now...
Irvine:Mmmph mmmph mm!
(They all laugh)
Seifer:Heh heh heh....you suck, Irvine...
Rajin:JESUS, SEIFER!!!! YOU ARE SUCH A FAT #%@£!!!! YA KNOW!!!
Squall:Woah, dude!!
Zell:Ummm.....
Squall:Oh....it's Zell....
Seifer:%$£@ OFF YOU STUPID #@&%!!!! NOBODY LIKES YOU!!
Zell:What's going on?
(Headmaster Cid comes round the corner, he has a glove puppet on one hand...)
Cid:Boys what the hell are you doing?
Rajin:But Headmaster, ya know....
Cid:Boys, you should be in lessons, not hanging around like retards..isn't that right, Mr.Cap?
Mr.Cap:That's right Mr.Kramer!
Zell:Errr....GOTTA GO!!!
(Zell runs back to his room)
Irvine:Mmmp mmm mmph....
Seifer:Yeah, that was weak...
(Back in Zell's room..)
Zell:(slams the door) Machine, WHAT HAPPENED???
Machine:According to my calculations, the reflected radiation from the aluminium sheet must have somehow disrupted the fabric of space and time when the applience was activated.
Zell:Which means?
Machine:sigh Why do I even bother......which means, how can I say this...
Zell:Just get on with it..
Machine:In other words, when someone put tin foil in the microwave it made everything go screwy....is THAT simple enough?
Zell:Naughty naughty....I have the remote...now tell me what to do to return everything to normal status.
Machine:Oooooohhh.....you used big words...
Zell:TELL ME!
Machine:Alright already, don't blow your circuits....just press "Start"on the microwave again....
Zell:(presses it) Like this?
(FLASH!!!!)
(Zell opens his eyes again and sees his room is back to normal)
Zell:Thank god THAT'S over...
Machine:I think these phenomena may be just the beginning..
Zell:What?
Machine:Forget it...
(Zell opens his door and sees the others standing there....AND THEY'RE ALL DRESSED LIKE HIM!!!)
Zell:Wha wha whaaaa????
Squall:Look, tis the messiah!!
Irvine:All bow to his holiness!
All:ALL HAIL THE MESSIAH! ALL HAIL ZELL!
Zell:Messiah? Kewl...Where are Seifer, Rajin and Fuujin?
Squall:The ones you speak of have passed away, great one....will you be attending their funerals?
Zell:Definately!!!!! *Oh boy this is great! They worship me like a god, Seifer and his posse are dead, this can't get any better!*
Selphie:Please forgive me, oh great one, but your wife requests to see you....
Zell:Wife? Oh, what the hell....send her to me!
(Zell's jaw drops as Brittany Spears comes round the corner and waves at him)
Brittany:Yoo-hoo honey!
Zell:drooling *I take that back....it just got a LOT better...* snaps out of it Ahem....your messiah requests 100 hot dogs...
Rinoa:What are hot dogs, great one?
Zell:AGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! (runs back into his room)
Quistis:Oh look, it's raining again....
(Quistis points outside and it's raining hot dogs)
(In Zell's room)
Zell:NO HOT DOGS!!!! AGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
Machine:Will you just calm down and PRESS THE DAMN BUTTON!!!
Zell:(presses it) I've gotta get out of here...
(FLASH!!!!)
(Zell opens his eyes again and sees his normal room)
Zell:I hope everything's okay now...
Machine:I have a bad feeling in my hard drive about this...
(The floor starts to shake, like in an earthquake)
Zell:Huh? What is it now? (he looks up) AGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
(Something..or rather someONE has ripped the roof off garden and is peering at Zell, Zell screamed again when he saw who it was......A 50FT SEIFER, RAJIN AND FUUJIN!!!!!)
Zell:AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rajin:Hey, ya know....its a bug that looks like chicken-wuss ya know....
Fuujin:SQUASH IT?
Seifer:Yeah, go ahead....
(Rajin reached his huge hand into Zell's room, ready to squash him flat....)
Zell:NO!! (presses the button)
(FLASH!!!!!)
(Zell looked around his room again....everything seemed to be normal. He looked outside, and everything was normal.)
Zell:Whew....looks like everythings un-screwed up now...hee hee heeee....Did I just giggle?
Machine:Heeheeheee.....
Zell:WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
Machine:It's just...giggles look in the mirror!!!! HAHAHAAAAAA!!!!
(Zell looks in the mirror and sees....)
Zell:CRAP!
Machine:GAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
(Zell realises he's only half his normal height)
Zell:And I thought I was too short already....and why the hell did I program you to be able to laugh?!?!?
Machine:HAHAAA!!! PRESS THE HA HAAAAA BUTTON! PRESS IT BEFORE I BLOW A FUSE LAUGHING!! HAAAAA!!!!
Zell:Shut up....(presses the button again) just shut u....
(FLASH!!!)
(Zell looks around again....everything is back to normal. Nothing has changed at all.)
Zell:YESSSSSS!!!!! I'M BACK!!!
Machine:Thank hyne....
Zell:Shut up, you...
(Zell steps outside and sees Squall waiting for him)
Squall:Zell, where have you been?
Zell:It's a long story....
Squall:Anyway, let's go and see the others....
Zell:Alrighty!
(Zell was glad that he was back where he belonged.....but then....a vortex opens up underneath him, pulling him into another dimension)
Zell:CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!
Squall:ZELL!!!!!!
(Squall ran to the cafeteria to tell the others what happened)
(In the cafeteria)
Irvine:A WHAT?!?!?
Squall:A VORTEX!!!! I'M NOT KIDDING!!!!!
Selphie:Oh I hope he's alright....
Quistis:This could be the end of Zell.....he could be anywhere by now....
Rinoa:Wait, I can hear something....IT'S ZELL!
Zell's voice:CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!
Squall:sigh Only Zell.....
(Meanwhile, in THE REAL WORLD (dum dum duuuum) a vortex opens up above a dumpster)
Zell:CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!
(Zell falls into the dumpster with a loud crash, and then climbs out and looks at the place where he's landed)
Zell:Where the hell am I now?
(Zell looks to his right and sees a sign saying "Welcome to New York city")
Zell:NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Flayme:Hello kids! I'd just like to tell you, the moral of this story is "Don't put tin foil in the microwave or you'll end up destroying the fabric of time and space" ^_^
Sparky:That made no sense at all, sis....
Flayme:Well.......I NEVER SAID IT WAS A VERY GOOD MORAL!!!!
THE END...........?
Roses are red, bluebells are.....errrrr...blue, I don't own FF so nuts to you! ^_^
Hiya people! It's FINALLY the 8th wacky inventions fic, and this one's so wacky, it's right off the wacky scale!!! lol! I'm not gonna spoil anything, so here goes...
(It's another spring morning in Balamb garden, everything is peaceful......quiet......serene. The characters are all relaxing.....WHAT THE
%#$£ IS GOING ON?!?!?!?)
Zell:Dum de dum de dum....
(Zell is relaxing, for once, and is sitting in his chair, his latest invention shoved against the far wall. It looks like some kind of massive computer, and has "Z.S.C.W.T.A.S (zell's super cool weird thingy alert system)" written on the side)
Zell:sigh What a perfect day.....perfectly boring if you ask me..
(Suddenly, alarms go off, bells ring, and zell's machine starts flashing "RED ALERT!")
Zell:SHIT!!!
Machine:Warning! Warning! Abnormal frequencies detected! Space-time continium disrupted! Error! Error!
Zell:Ohhhhhh.....it's just an abnormal frequency....whatever that is....
Machine:Zell, something very bad is about to happen.
Zell:Wha?
Machine:sigh Check the microwave, Einstein.....AND HURRY!!!!
Zell:ALRIGHT ALREADY!!!! Stoopid smarty-pants computer.....
Machine:I heard that.
Zell:Don't give me gyp or I'll shut you off....I've got the remote, remember?
Machine:Just check the microwave....
Zell:......Alrighty!
(Zell opens the microwave door)
Zell:WHO PUT TIN FOIL IN HERE???? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS???
Machine:I give up...
Zell:YOU STUPID, STUPI.....
(FLASH!!!!)
Zell:Huh? What the hell?
(Zell looks around his room.....everything seems different somehow, but why?)
Zell:What's going on????
(Zell looks at his arm)
Zell:AGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! I'M 2-D!!!!
Machine:This isn't good....
Zell:Machine, am I in a CARTOON SHOW????
Machine:I'm afraid I don't know...
(Zell walks outside, and everything else is 2-D! He looks out of a window, and sees a scene similar to Trabia, an endless white tundra dotted with fir trees)
Zell:Where the hell am I?
(he hears some yelling from down the hallway and runs to investigate)
(Zell runs round the corner, and sees that Squall, Seifer, Irvine and Rajin are also 2D, but they are dressed in winter clothes, even Irvine, who is wearing an orange coat...)
Seifer:AGGGHHHH!!! MY ASS!!! DEAR GOD!!!! JESUS!!!!
(Seifer lets off a loud fart that somehow sets itself on fire)
Squall:Okay Seifer you can stop farting fire now...
Irvine:Mmmph mmmph mm!
(They all laugh)
Seifer:Heh heh heh....you suck, Irvine...
Rajin:JESUS, SEIFER!!!! YOU ARE SUCH A FAT #%@£!!!! YA KNOW!!!
Squall:Woah, dude!!
Zell:Ummm.....
Squall:Oh....it's Zell....
Seifer:%$£@ OFF YOU STUPID #@&%!!!! NOBODY LIKES YOU!!
Zell:What's going on?
(Headmaster Cid comes round the corner, he has a glove puppet on one hand...)
Cid:Boys what the hell are you doing?
Rajin:But Headmaster, ya know....
Cid:Boys, you should be in lessons, not hanging around like retards..isn't that right, Mr.Cap?
Mr.Cap:That's right Mr.Kramer!
Zell:Errr....GOTTA GO!!!
(Zell runs back to his room)
Irvine:Mmmp mmm mmph....
Seifer:Yeah, that was weak...
(Back in Zell's room..)
Zell:(slams the door) Machine, WHAT HAPPENED???
Machine:According to my calculations, the reflected radiation from the aluminium sheet must have somehow disrupted the fabric of space and time when the applience was activated.
Zell:Which means?
Machine:sigh Why do I even bother......which means, how can I say this...
Zell:Just get on with it..
Machine:In other words, when someone put tin foil in the microwave it made everything go screwy....is THAT simple enough?
Zell:Naughty naughty....I have the remote...now tell me what to do to return everything to normal status.
Machine:Oooooohhh.....you used big words...
Zell:TELL ME!
Machine:Alright already, don't blow your circuits....just press "Start"on the microwave again....
Zell:(presses it) Like this?
(FLASH!!!!)
(Zell opens his eyes again and sees his room is back to normal)
Zell:Thank god THAT'S over...
Machine:I think these phenomena may be just the beginning..
Zell:What?
Machine:Forget it...
(Zell opens his door and sees the others standing there....AND THEY'RE ALL DRESSED LIKE HIM!!!)
Zell:Wha wha whaaaa????
Squall:Look, tis the messiah!!
Irvine:All bow to his holiness!
All:ALL HAIL THE MESSIAH! ALL HAIL ZELL!
Zell:Messiah? Kewl...Where are Seifer, Rajin and Fuujin?
Squall:The ones you speak of have passed away, great one....will you be attending their funerals?
Zell:Definately!!!!! *Oh boy this is great! They worship me like a god, Seifer and his posse are dead, this can't get any better!*
Selphie:Please forgive me, oh great one, but your wife requests to see you....
Zell:Wife? Oh, what the hell....send her to me!
(Zell's jaw drops as Brittany Spears comes round the corner and waves at him)
Brittany:Yoo-hoo honey!
Zell:drooling *I take that back....it just got a LOT better...* snaps out of it Ahem....your messiah requests 100 hot dogs...
Rinoa:What are hot dogs, great one?
Zell:AGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! (runs back into his room)
Quistis:Oh look, it's raining again....
(Quistis points outside and it's raining hot dogs)
(In Zell's room)
Zell:NO HOT DOGS!!!! AGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
Machine:Will you just calm down and PRESS THE DAMN BUTTON!!!
Zell:(presses it) I've gotta get out of here...
(FLASH!!!!)
(Zell opens his eyes again and sees his normal room)
Zell:I hope everything's okay now...
Machine:I have a bad feeling in my hard drive about this...
(The floor starts to shake, like in an earthquake)
Zell:Huh? What is it now? (he looks up) AGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
(Something..or rather someONE has ripped the roof off garden and is peering at Zell, Zell screamed again when he saw who it was......A 50FT SEIFER, RAJIN AND FUUJIN!!!!!)
Zell:AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rajin:Hey, ya know....its a bug that looks like chicken-wuss ya know....
Fuujin:SQUASH IT?
Seifer:Yeah, go ahead....
(Rajin reached his huge hand into Zell's room, ready to squash him flat....)
Zell:NO!! (presses the button)
(FLASH!!!!!)
(Zell looked around his room again....everything seemed to be normal. He looked outside, and everything was normal.)
Zell:Whew....looks like everythings un-screwed up now...hee hee heeee....Did I just giggle?
Machine:Heeheeheee.....
Zell:WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
Machine:It's just...giggles look in the mirror!!!! HAHAHAAAAAA!!!!
(Zell looks in the mirror and sees....)
Zell:CRAP!
Machine:GAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
(Zell realises he's only half his normal height)
Zell:And I thought I was too short already....and why the hell did I program you to be able to laugh?!?!?
Machine:HAHAAA!!! PRESS THE HA HAAAAA BUTTON! PRESS IT BEFORE I BLOW A FUSE LAUGHING!! HAAAAA!!!!
Zell:Shut up....(presses the button again) just shut u....
(FLASH!!!)
(Zell looks around again....everything is back to normal. Nothing has changed at all.)
Zell:YESSSSSS!!!!! I'M BACK!!!
Machine:Thank hyne....
Zell:Shut up, you...
(Zell steps outside and sees Squall waiting for him)
Squall:Zell, where have you been?
Zell:It's a long story....
Squall:Anyway, let's go and see the others....
Zell:Alrighty!
(Zell was glad that he was back where he belonged.....but then....a vortex opens up underneath him, pulling him into another dimension)
Zell:CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!
Squall:ZELL!!!!!!
(Squall ran to the cafeteria to tell the others what happened)
(In the cafeteria)
Irvine:A WHAT?!?!?
Squall:A VORTEX!!!! I'M NOT KIDDING!!!!!
Selphie:Oh I hope he's alright....
Quistis:This could be the end of Zell.....he could be anywhere by now....
Rinoa:Wait, I can hear something....IT'S ZELL!
Zell's voice:CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!
Squall:sigh Only Zell.....
(Meanwhile, in THE REAL WORLD (dum dum duuuum) a vortex opens up above a dumpster)
Zell:CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!
(Zell falls into the dumpster with a loud crash, and then climbs out and looks at the place where he's landed)
Zell:Where the hell am I now?
(Zell looks to his right and sees a sign saying "Welcome to New York city")
Zell:NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Flayme:Hello kids! I'd just like to tell you, the moral of this story is "Don't put tin foil in the microwave or you'll end up destroying the fabric of time and space" ^_^
Sparky:That made no sense at all, sis....
Flayme:Well.......I NEVER SAID IT WAS A VERY GOOD MORAL!!!!
THE END...........?