"I can't deal with either of you right now." The last words her girlfriend had spoken to her that afternoon kept resonating through Spencer's head. She knew she shouldn't go after Ashley but by the time Mrs. Davies had threatened her, the choice had been taken away from her. Ashley was nowhere to be found. She had no idea where the distraught girl could have gotten to in such a short time and without a car she didn't have many options. That had been almost three hours ago and she'd called Ashley twice, leaving a voice mail the first time, hanging up when the voice mail picked up immediately the second. She couldn't remember ever being as worried as she was about her girlfriend and she wished she could have Clay or even her dad drive her around looking for the upset brunette.

God, what am I gonna do for poor Ash? She's right, I have no idea how she's feeling, but that doesn't mean I care about her any less. I want to be there for her, she can't go through this all alone, and now that I've seen her mother in action again, it just shows me even more how alone she is. If we weren't together, she'd have no one. My poor baby. I want to fix this. I hate the idea that she's out there in the dark somewhere, alone, upset and hurting. Spencer knew there was nothing she could do and that was too much for her. She was so afraid that Ashley was going to retreat to a place Spencer couldn't reach her. The thought made her eyes tear up and she finally gave in to all the worry and anxiety. She buried her head in her pillow and sobbed harder than she had in a very long time.

"Hey, Spencer! Dinner!" Her dad's voice didn't register until several seconds after he'd called her. She almost hadn't heard him through the last of the tears. She figured that twenty minutes was enough crying. She had to regain control of herself and figure out her next move. Maybe she would ask Clay to take her out looking for Ashley after dinner if he didn't have much homework, or even her dad might be willing. The last thing she wanted was to go downstairs and eat a meal with her family until she heard from her girlfriend. The tension between her parents lately was enough to make her crazy, and with her luck, they'd pick tonight to focus on her and ask why she was upset. She wasn't sure how to answer that yet. She'd thought she and Ashley would be able to sit down and talk about things first.

Sure, Ashley had said she wanted her that night at her house, but before they'd really had a chance to dissect what everything meant, her phone had forced them back into the real world. Did Ashley want to be her girlfriend? Spencer knew without hesitation that she wanted to be Ashley's, but she also knew that they couldn't have a conversation about that right now. If she was Ashley's girlfriend, she felt that that gave her certain rights at a time like this. She needed to be by the older girl's side, which was difficult when she didn't know where she was.

Just then, as she was heading into the bathroom to wash the tears away, the doorbell rang. Not that weird in a house with three teens, but as Spencer headed toward the stairs a minute later, she heard a familiar voice.

"I just didn't know where else to go." The voice somewhat resembled Ashley's but was tinged with emotion and tears.

Spencer had never heard Ashley sound that broken and upset before. She hurried down the steps, listening to the sobs of her girlfriend as she descended, trying not to burst into tears again herself. "Ashley?" As soon as the other girl came into view, Spencer got the shock of her life. It was no secret to anyone that her mother hated the dark haired girl, but Paula Carlin and Ashley were embracing and her mother was smoothing the other girl's hair with one hand and rubbing her back with the other. Sure, the look on her face said that she was sure God was going to come strike her down any second for comforting one of those, but she was doing it. Never mind that the bible said to love one another, but Spencer didn't care about that right then. Nothing mattered but getting to and comforting Ashley. As soon as she cleared the stairs, her mother released the girl, stroking her hair and looking into her eyes, almost apologizing.

Spencer didn't want to take time to think about that just then though. She was so relieved that Ashley appeared okay, outwardly at least; and had come to her. As their eyes met, the lost expression on the shorter girl's face almost devastated the blonde. It was apparent that Ashley had finally let herself begin grieving, judging by the tear tracks and mascara streaked all down her face. She cautiously put her hands on Ashley's upper arms, relieved when the girl didn't push her away again.

"Arthur? Set another place. Ashley is staying for dinner."

As her mother spoke, Spencer turned to look, until she was sure her mother wasn't about to cause trouble for them. Once she was sure everything was good for the moment, she forgot about everyone else except the distressed girl in front of her. She cautiously rubbed her hands up and down her girlfriend's arms, wanting the contact but unsure how much Ashley was willing to give.

"I'm sorry." The brown eyes that were usually full of life, sparkle and energy stared at her for a moment before dropping down to the floor.

Spencer realized with a sinking sense of dread that the broken girl thought that she would be upset with her. She was unsure of her welcome. That and the fact that Ashley had come to her house anyway, braving her mother, made Spencer love her even more. "You don't have to be. Its, - You're just going through the worst time right now." She tried to make her voice as calm and love filled as she could, to reassure the girl every way that she was able. She wanted so badly to kiss her tears away or even just kiss her, but she was dimly aware that her parents were watching.

"No! I'm sorry for not letting you in, for letting you help. God, I'm so bad at this, but I need you so bad right now!"