So the creator Jason Rothenberg recently answered a fan question on Twitter and said that the alliance between the Sky People and the Grounders was truly over. It made me think about a possible fanfic. I've also been wanting to write a story looking at Lexa through Clarke's eyes so I thought why not join these two together!
…
Clarke hesitated outside the gates of Camp Jaha. She watched as her people slowly trailed into the camp and were reunited with anxious relatives. The elation on their faces should have brought her a sense of fulfilment as it was thanks to her that these reunions were happening. Yet all she could think about was the countless other families whose lives she had destroyed that day by pulling the lever that sucked in the radiation infected air.
During their long trek back to their home she had nothing to do but think about what she had done. She could not forget the terror on the Mountain peoples faces as they had desperately tried to cling on to life. Life that she had sucked out of them so easily. She could still feel the eeriness of the rooms with bodies strewn across them. Their glassy eyes still bore into hers whenever her lids shut.
How was she expected to continue on when the grief and the guilt were dragging her down deeper and deeper? How could she watch children playing without thinking of all the young innocent children she had murdered? How could she eat when the image of the Mountain people slumped over their dining tables was so fresh in her mind? How could she look Jasper in the eye knowing that she had ended the life of the one that he loved?
As she stood by the gate Bellamy turned back and held out his hand.
"We're in this together Clarke," he told her. "And we'll find a way through it together."
"I – I don't know if I can," she whispered.
Admitting it out loud only heightened the demons within her. Why should she be allowed to battle through the pain? She had done a terrible thing and her punishment should be living with this overwhelming guilt for the rest of her life. She did not deserve forgiveness.
"You're strong Clarke," Bellamy said earnestly. "It may take time but you can do this. I know you can."
She shook her head, tears gliding down her face.
"You saved us all Clarke! You saved your mother, my sister, everyone! We would all be dead right now if you hadn't done what you did. You're a hero!" Bellamy exclaimed.
His words only encouraged the flow of her tears.
"Don't call me that," she gasped. "I'm a m-murderer!"
Her legs buckled from under her and she went crashing to the ground. Sobs wracked her body as she lay crumpled on the grass.
Suddenly she felt broad arms reach around her and lift her up. As Bellamy carried her into the midst of the camp she buried her face in his chest and clamped her eyes shut to avoid having to put up with the stares from her people. Instead she was once more forced to relive the writhing bodies of the Mountain people as they suffered an agonising death.
Just as Clarke was starting to allow herself to relax in Bellamy's hold he stopped and gently placed her down on a bed. He threw a blanket over her before sitting down on the edge of the bed. Her sobs slowly started to subside as he tenderly stroked her hair.
"I don't deserve your pity," she told him.
"No you don't," he agreed.
She looked up at him in surprise. She had known that people would treat her differently from now on, whether it was fear, hate or sympathy but she had always thought that Bellamy would have been the one to treat her the same. He had been a part of the decision to flood the Mountain with radiation after all.
He smirked as he slowly wiped away the silent tears that were still falling from Clarke's weary eyes.
"You deserve my gratitude," Bellamy explained. "Why can't you see that you did what was right for our people? You had no other choice. You're exhausted and in shock. Maybe once you've slept you'll start to come to your senses."
Clarke slowly absorbed his words. He was right of course, she had done the right thing in the end for her people but that didn't mean that she should feel good about what she had done or that it was something to be celebrated.
She was too tired to say anything more, being both physically and emotionally drained. Bellamy was right, she did need to sleep but whether she would be able to was another story.
"Stay with me," she whispered as she allowed her heavy eyelids to close over. Her mind became active as soon as the darkness enveloped her. She could see her and Bellamy's hands pulling the lever that reversed the air dents. She could see the Mountain people dropping one at a time as the radiation consumed them. Yet she could also see her people chained to the wall being forced to watch as the Mountain people drilled into them as if they were nothing more than scraps of metal.
Just as Clarke was about to surrender herself to sleep the door to the room was thrown open.
Her eyes snapped open as she sat up in bed, awake and alert. Bellamy had jumped to his feet.
It was Kane.
"Clarke, we need to talk," he said urgently.
"Look at her!" Bellamy leapt to her defence. "She needs rest. Whatever it is surely it can wait!"
"I'm afraid not," Kane replied gravely.
Clarke felt inclined to agree with Bellamy. She was in no state to be a leader right now, physically or emotionally. Her mind was too clouded for her to make any sensible input and her heart was just not up to it.
She said nothing but just stared at Kane with unseeing eyes.
"I'm sorry Clarke but this really is urgent. The Mountain Men may have been defeated but we still have another enemy out there. Our truce was broken the moment Lexa abandoned us on the battlefield. We will never be able to work with them again but perhaps we could come to some arrangement to avoid another war. I would imagine that they know about our victory in the Mountain by now which means they could be marching on us as we speak. I hate to ask you to do this so soon after current events but it has to be done. We need you Clarke. We need you to go and speak to the Commander."