A/N: First attempt at writing anything The 100 related. I would usually say be nice, but I'm going with hit me with everything you have instead. If you think my characterisation is wrong, tell me, only way I'm going to learn. If you want this to continue, let me know, if not it'll stay as a one-shot. Enjoy!
Regret wasn't something that Lexa was used to feeling. She was usually so sure of her choices, knowing that she was right, this time she wasn't so sure. She had done what any leader would do, she had saved her people, but at what cost.
There are always choices to make in war, you do what you have to do to win, to survive. Lexa knew that. If she'd have stayed, if they'd have fought, sure they might have won but there would be loses. Accepting the truce that she was offered wasn't just something for that night, it was more long term. The plan that she'd had with Clarke was more immediate. Get in, save their people, get out. The Mountain Men would've survived. Without the 44 and the bone marrow they would keep coming after her people, they would continue sending out the reapers. This way, as long as her people stayed away from the mountain they were safe. Her people. Her people were not Sky people, the Sky people weren't her responsibility, they were Clarke's people. Lexa had to believe that as their leader Clarke would do what she had to do to save them, she had to hold on to that belief.
In the days that had passed since that night Lexa had sent a scout or two to the Sky people's camp, the reports back were pretty positive. Clarke had found a way to get them out. One thing that was always missing from the reports was news on Clarke. She wasn't seen in the camp. Lexa knew that didn't mean she wasn't there, it could've meant that she was injured and was in the medical area having treatment. She knew she couldn't spend too much time sending people to the camp, they were no longer allies, and unless they made a move against the grounders then Lexa had no reason to fear them. She thought that move would come. She had betrayed them after all. The Sky people had inside knowledge of the grounders and how they worked, they had Lincoln. He had left their camp to go after Octavia, Lexa knew that it had been Indra who had given him the means he needed to escape. Indra had developed a respect for the Sky girl, respect for the way that she would never give up, she would battle to the death if she had to.
x-x-x
She had been wandering around for days, she had spent the first night in the drop ship, but she knew that she couldn't stay there long term. Once everything at the camp died down she knew that her mother and Bellamy would send people out looking for her. She couldn't be around them, she couldn't look at their faces without thinking what she had done to get them out of the mountain. After trying to take the high ground with Lexa after the grounder commander didn't evacuate the village even when she knew a missile was coming, Clarke had willingly killed hundreds of innocent people. The adults in the mountain knew what was happening, they knew about the blood from the grounders and the bone marrow from her people, but the children she had killed couldn't be held responsible for what the adults had done. Yet she had killed them all. Bellamy had tried to make it easier for her, but she was the one who had made that decision, the choice was hers and hers alone, and she had to live with what she had done. Every time she closed her eyes she could see the dining room, the bodies, the people she had killed. The innocent lives she had ended just so her people could survive. Maybe she and Lexa weren't that different after all. Her first kill had been a mercy kill, Adam was suffering, and there was no way he could survive. Clarke had done what she had to do. His face had faded in her nightmares, only to be replaced by Finn, Dante, the innocents from the mountain. Clarke didn't think she would ever find inner peace again, nor did she think she deserved it. Maybe her mother had been right, maybe there weren't any good guys, but Clarke knew that she was firmly on the bad side.
After days of wandering she found herself back at the mountain. Making her way back through the now abandoned tunnels she found the door she had entered through with Octavia that night. To get the nightmares to stop she knew what she needed to do. Bury the dead. Burying over 300 people was an unsurmountable task. Fire. She could burn the bodies, and stop the mountain ever being usable again. Her talks with Raven popped into her head. She needed an accelerant, something that would burn quickly. She found her way to the kitchen, there had to be something in there that would burn. It didn't take her long to find what she was looking for, from the smell of it she figured it must be something like gasoline. Taking as much of it as she could carry she made her way to the dining room. Where the level had been sealed the smell hit her almost immediately. If she'd had any food in her stomach it would've made her physically sick. Starting at the back of the room she poured the liquid on as much as she could, pouring it over the bodies, knowing from her biology studies on the Arc that once the human body gets to a certain stage of decomposition it becomes flammable. She felt all her strength leave her as she saw the first of the children, looking around she found a sheet, using it to cover the tiny bodies she poured the liquid on the sheet. Knowing that she had been the one to end their little lives way before their time. Once she had done all she could she found her way to the control room, using her limited knowledge of computers she opened all the air vents, knowing that oxygen would speed up the fire.
x-x-x
As the blaze burned and Clarke made her way back down the mountain, the fire reached the oxygen tanks, she hadn't considered what was inside the mountain that may explode. The explosions were loud enough to rock the entire mountain, Clarke falling to her knees. She knew that the blaze would been seen for miles around. The camp would see it, the grounders would see it. She didn't care. Only once she was at the foot of the mountain did she stop. Collapsing to her knees everything hit her all at once. All the emotions she had tried to keep buried, everything she had done, all that she had caused. The tears burned her eyes as the screams tore at her already hoarse throat.
x-x-x
Lexa stood at the entrance to her tent, watching the night sky as the mountain continued to burn. They'd had no reports of anyone leaving the Sky people's camp, the grounders were talking about who could've destroyed the mountain. Lexa knew who it would be. A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. With one look back at the mountain she let out a sigh.
"May we meet again…" she said quietly, before turning and walking back into her tent.