This Time
Anyone who had ever been in the same class as Natsuki would know that said boy was perhaps not the most outgoing. Before Haru, Yuki and Akira, Natsuki would often eat by himself in a vacant classroom or locker room whilst Erika would try to persuade him to talk to his classmates. Her plan, of course, would be unsuccessful and Natsuki would ultimately migrate to the next unoccupied room he could find in school to eat lunch until Erika would find him there and the process would repeat itself.
During class, Natsuki would always pay attention and take down notes dedicatedly only to toss them aside once he returned home in favour of his trusty fishing rod. Weekends would pass by much the same in the sense that it would be just him, ocean and the vast blue sky above.
But he was content with that.
As far as Natsuki was concerned, his classmates were just there. They had no real presence. They were just waiting for school to finish so they could go home and pick up their porn magazines. And Natsuki had absolutely no desire to associate with people like that.
This was why Natsuki would be irritated when someone would approach him during school hours. After all, why should he be happy to talk to some people who he only tolerated because he had to?
The same was true when Haru and Yuki first began to bother him. Although, their persistence was what broke Natsuki's peppery mask. When Haru announced that Yuki became his friend, Natsuki's heart hadn't ever beaten so fast. That's why he took the opportunity to scream with joy as he ran home in the rain. After all, that's all his cold front was - a front. Something to force people out of his way so that he had space to deal with his problems.
His irritable attitude he shown during school was nothing close to what real anger was. What wrath was.
Natsuki had never displayed true anger in front of his classmates. He kept that for home, when he would confront his father about his relationship with Mari, and how could he possibly be over Shinobu's death?
It is said that one can only display wrath in the face of a loved one. And Natsuki fully believed that. Which is why he was currently stood face to face with Yuki, his fists balled and shaking by his thighs. Of course Natsuki was hesitant to punch him. Yuki was his first friend, but this time - this time - Natsuki wasn't going to hold back.
He drew back his hand to build momentum and drove it straight into Yuki's abdomen. Upon contact, Yuki spluttered and flailed until he stumbled back and hit the floor of Natsuki's bedroom with a dull thud. Loud enough to alert Akira and Sakura downstairs for sure. But at this point, Natsuki was too far gone to care. Yuki's words just kept playing over and over in his head and the only way he could get them out was to continue striking Yuki.
Without thinking, Natsuki forcefully pulled Yuki back to his feet by his shirt collar only to beat him down again, intentionally aiming at his face. This time Yuki's head collided with the wooden floor with a sharp smacking sound. Before Natsuki could land another hit, Akira violently jerked the door open with Sakura closely following behind, an apprehensive expression plastered onto her face.
Upon taking in the scene, Akira hurriedly restrained Natsuki from behind before any further damage could be done. Sakura inhaled a shaky breath, clearly distraught that her brother would dare do something on this scale. A wheeze from Yuki was all it took for her to rush over to his side, anxiously rubbing Yuki's back to soothe his fit. He was visibly winded and was not going to stop coughing soon.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Akira didn't even bother to censor himself in front of Sakura.
"Shut up and let me go!" Natsuki was desperate to take out his rage. His sight was entirely blood red and all he could concentrate on was getting back to Yuki, yet Akira forced himself in the way.
"Calm down! You're not thinking rationally!" Akira was eight years older than Natsuki and therefore had eight years to reflect on the disputes he had with his high school friends. He knew that whatever Yuki had said to start this fight was probably rather provocative and galling, but nothing to get physical about. However, Natsuki was blinded by the heat of the moment and let himself be consumed by wrath.
Sakura, once she had made sure Yuki was in not in dire need of medical attention, stood in front of him and began to slowly walk towards Natsuki with her arms held out protectively. Her brow was deeply furrowed and her usual sweet expression was contorted into one of sadness and hostility.
"I won't let you touch him, Natsuki!" Sakura yelled out, trying to maintain her confidence but failing when her voice cracked at the very end. The last time she stood up to her brother like this was on the boat during Natsuki's birthday. But that was a year ago and ended with Sakura in tears. Akira noted that this would most likely end in a similar manner.
The shaky scowl on Sakura's face hit something within Natsuki. For a second, he almost came out of his rage-filled state. But seeing his sister was not enough. Natsuki quickly dismissed he out of his thoughts as he realised that this fight never had anything to do with her originally and once again, Natsuki's blood curdled.
Sakura cowered at the sight of Natsuki even more furious than before, fleeing the room and leaving Yuki in plain view. Natsuki struggled against Akira's sturdy grip on his arms in an attempt to reach out to Yuki.
But if I hit him again, will I truly feel better about myself? Or will I destroy the beautiful connection I have with Yuki and everything will go back to the way it once was?
Natsuki cursed himself. He shouldn't be second guessing this. He shouldn't be doubting himself. He made a decision. He would beat Yuki until all of his feelings had come through. At least, he thought so until Yuki gazed up at Natsuki from the floor.
Now that he was thinking slightly more logically than before, Natsuki registered the tears glossing over Yuki's silver eyes, reflecting his surroundings and all but ready to spill over his cheeks. He took in Yuki's form that was curled in on itself. But most crucially: Natsuki perceived the blood spilling out from the ample cut on Yuki's lip, running over and down his chin.
A sudden change of heart is something that most people wouldn't associate with Natsuki, but this time - this time - Natsuki knew he was wrong. Guilt washed over him and left him cold and wet just as the regretful tears streaming down his face did. He stopped floundering in Akira's arms and went limp with shame. Akira took the hint and gently let Natsuki sink to the ground.
"I'll let you two figure out what to do from here," Akira sighed, more from exhaustion rather than exasperation, and quietly left the room.
I can't bear to look at him
Natsuki kept his gaze strictly on the ground before him, desperately tried to block out Yuki's occasional sobs, only able to focus on the fact that it was his fault to begin with.
"I..." Natsuki began to string together an abysmal apology only to find that words had betrayed him, leaving him on the floor, weeping as if he were the victim.
Shit. I'm not even in a state where I can apologise. Yuki must think I'm pathetic.
"Don't worry about it, Natsuki," Yuki consoled, softly. "It was my fault."
Is he fucking serious? I beat the crap out of him yet he blames himself? God, I can't stand it.
"But-!"
"I said it's fine," Yuki smiled weakly.
But it's not. And that was the problem. Yuki didn't know when to stop taking the fall for others and when to start accusing them. I should be on the floor bloodied and broken, not soothed!
He finally broke and crawled over to Yuki. And Natsuki forgot how to breathe when he saw Yuki flinch. It was for the slightest second. A 'blink and you'll miss it moment'.
But Natsuki hadn't blinked.
Ayumi didn't frequent the Usami household often, but when he got a distressed call from Sakura, he didn't have to think twice. In a similar fashion to Akira, Ayumi wrenched the front door open to find Sakura and Akira casually drinking tea, whispering about a terrible soap which they both watched yesterday.
Having bailed on a date with Misaki to be here, Ayumi was outraged at the situation presented before him. He knew that Sakura was definitely not the type to prank people and unless Akira was very good at impersonating ten year old girls, Ayumi was completely lost as to what was going on.
"What-?" Sakura cut his enquiry off with a hiss and a finger to her lips. She silently pointed to the ceiling above them.
"Can't you hear that they're making up?" She asked as if it was obvious. Which is wasn't. At all.
"Go up if you must, but do not interrupt them," Akira remarked calmly before taking another sip of tea.
"...Right..."
Ayumi begrudgingly, albeit quietly, climbed up the battered mahogany staircase, to Natsuki's room. Upon approaching, gasps and wails of different varieties along with consecutive sobs of apologies could be heard. Reluctantly, Ayumi peeked through the gap in the door to see the state that the two teenagers were in.
Natsuki had his head in Yuki's lap exclaiming how everything was his fault, no doubt soaking Yuki's trousers with his tears. Yuki on the other hand seemed somewhat nervous, suggesting that this fiasco had been going on for a while. Yuki thread his hands through Natsuki's hair in a placating manner, awkwardly laughing.
"Listen, it's over now. Really. You've apologised, so it's fine," Yuki was getting no further with Natsuki it appeared, as the other boy had no change in reaction.
Yuki sighed and placed his hands on either side of Natsuki's face comfortably, drawing him up to Yuki's own level.
"Please believe me," Yuki pulled Natsuki's face closer until...
No fucking way am I watching this!
Ayumi could physically not observe any further. He was already stressed out without knowing what Yuki and Natsuki were doing. And if Ayumi was thinking right, he would have ran back to Misaki post-haste, but this time - this time - he needed some alone time to cleanse his mind and thereby hopefully erasing all memory of the day after receiving that damned phone call from Sakura.
A/N: This is my first contribute to . I've joined the cult.
But on a serious note, if you think Natsuki was out of character at the end and wouldn't be grossly sobbing on Yuki, then please watch the original picture drama and you will see why I put that in.