On Halloween night, there was a party at James' best friend's house. James was a Student Trainer for his school. He came to the party after talking to the school's head athletic trainer. He understood and gave James the night off.
The party was going great. Nobody was dressed in a costume; it was merely a social gathering. A small group of friends near the door were talking about the Homecoming Dance last Saturday. A senior roughly the same age as James beckoned him into a room away from the party. James slipped away easily. As James entered the room the senior locked the door.
"Here's the stuff you wanted," The senior said in a gruff voice.
He pulled a bag from his pocket and gave it to James. In it was a red capsule, cloaked with the markings of a painkiller. James gave him one last look and smiled. The senior smiled back.
As soon as James swallowed the drug, he was instantly dragged through different dimensions. Great force caused his eyes to snap shut. The last thing he heard was great crying from afar, before a dead silence engulfed him.
James awoke from a long and tiresome journey to find himself looking at a pure white sky, not a speck of imperfection anywhere. The bright yellow sun showered the strange world in warm oils. There was not a single patch of blue in sight. James stared at the sky in amazement. It was certainly a dream; no sky was ever this pure.
James mustered the he could and sat up and tried to recall what landed him in this dream. The only thing that came to mind was being at a party with close friends and taking a painkiller. The rest was a blur. As his adult body hoisted itself up, he saw what appeared to be gates in the distance. The gates were a good hundred yards or so from him unless it was an illusion.
As James approached the gates, he saw they were a lovely golden color. There were no watchtowers anywhere, or walls for that matter. But there must be walls because gates cannot support themselves.
"I can sense that there are others, I just can't see them. So what is it? Is it a prison? Is it a kingdom? There has to be a reasonable explanation." James mutters to himself.
But a prison would have watchtowers and a gate more secure than this one. The gates would more than likely be rusty. The gates don't look to be more than twenty years old. James touched the gate. The metal felt neither hot nor cold; it felt as if it was living. If it's not a prison then why are there gates? The modern cities of Earth don't have gates. It could also be a European kingdom. That would explain the gates. But it would have to be severely rusted, unless it was replaced. And much more secure than this.
As James stared, a light breeze washed over him. Feeling a little chilly in the wind, James attempted to grasp his jacket. The only thing James grasped was bare skin. Looking down, James saw his clothes were no more. James frantically looked around for something to cover himself with, but there was nothing to cover with. He attempted to cover up with the ground; but it fell out of his hand in an instant, floating lightly back beneath his feet.
James thoughts were scattered when he heard a birdcall from the local city. The bird began to circle overhead. As it descended slightly, James saw the bird was a bald eagle. The eagle continued to descend and circle slowly; as if zeroing in on its next snack. Fear had taken a hold on James' soul, freezing him where he stood.
The eagle landed, appearing to be as big as an average human. It began to examine James with its great brown eyes. The eagle began to peck at his body with its sharp beak. James fell to the ground and curled into a ball to try and protect him. No flesh was ripped away; no blood spilled.
The eagle scraped at his defenseless body with its razor-sharp talons. James flailed his arms and legs about trying to fight back, but the eagle ignored the punches and kicks. Again no flesh was ripped away; no blood spilled. The eagle looks into James' fearful eyes. James stared into the eagle's eyes, as if it was trying to say, "You're ready to begin." The eagle took flight and vanished mysteriously into the sky. Begin what?
James' thinking was interrupted again when the gates opened. A young girl approached him wearing white robes. James felt his face burn as his cheeks turned red in embarrassment.
Her steel-blue eyes look at James with strong confusion. Her mouth gives a disapproving gesture. Her light blonde hair sways in the light breeze. She looked strangely familiar. As if she was a ghost from his choppy childhood, before Fate ripped him away from his home; then ripped her from Home. She carried spare robes in her arms.
"Who—" James started.
"Here you are," she said in a quiet, dreamy voice as she handed him the robes. "Welcome to your New Beginning. I see you have passed Abra's test. Don't worry. It'll heal in time."
The girl gestured at his exposed body. James looked at his arms and legs; they had turned a light red color. Abra had torn the epidermis away, torn his shadowing cloak of Earth away.
"Where am I?" James asked as he dressed. "What New Beginning am I starting?"
"We are above and below. That is where we are. As for your New Beginning, I cannot say. I have no power there. I am merely a servant doing what I am asked." The girl replied, disappearing into the whiteness as she walked away.
"What does that mean?" James called.
"It shall become clear very soon," she said. "Just keep your mind open."
Still puzzled by the strange girl's paradox, James ventured into the city hoping to get an answer. The people spoke in different languages, but in the back of his mind he understood them entirely. There were no shackles or no handcuffs in sight. So much for an European kingdom.
It was difficult to differentiate between buildings; all were made from the same pure white material. All the buildings seem to tower over the people. As James scanned the area more, he saw that there are no sidewalks. There were no cars or vehicles of any sort in sight. What a strange dream!
After hours of searching, James wandered into the local bar. The atmosphere was very happy despite the dim lighting. James found a man wearing robes similar to his sitting at a table. He approached the man and asked him where he was.
"You are in the City of Berlin," he replied in a deep German accent. "Well, I must be off; it's about two days to Dresden on foot. Not to mention the unavoidable traffic!"
The man chuckled at his own joke. He paid his bill and strolled off into the whiteness of the world, singing merry songs and greeting everyone.
James ordered water and began to think about the events in the dream. An eagle named Abra had "examined" him without severe injury; a strange girl tells him that he's starting a 'New Beginning'. This is definitely a dream; there's no other explanation.
James left the bar and strolled around for a few more hours, or what he perceived as a few hours. Days may have gone by. A person can never tell in the dream world, especially when the world is completely pure.
James eventually found himself in the High Court. Statues of future justices lined the many halls of the court. He marched inward hoping to find some answers, a place where justice was sure to give him a definite answer.
He asked a visiting woman where he was. Her bright green eyes ignited with surprise. He had never seen someone look so surprised; in the movies, perhaps.
"You are in the District of Columbia of course," she said in a southern accent. "I must be off; it is a terrible walk to New York."
"New York?" James asked. "Why New York?"
"The Twin Towers are always a grand sight, but not in this world. I hope the Freedom Tower will stand for many years on Earth." She replied sadly.
James tried to understand the information. The Twin Towers were here in this strange world? How could that be?
"You'll find the answers," she said, cheerful once again. "Well, I must be off. Good luck on finding your Home!"
James tried to ask her more questions, but she left and vanished. Curious, James decided to explore. He took the first hallway on the left. A red, white and blue flag hung from the ceiling. In the middle of the blue portion was a white star.
James walked a few yards before he came across a familiar name, the name of his best friend. He cautiously opened the door. No one was in the room. At once he noticed that there was no floor. Well, not the type of floor he was used to seeing. The floor seems to show Her on Earth.
She was at a party of some sort. James recognizes some friends. What is the occasion? James couldn't recall—this is a dream after all. They might be having a party just for the heck of it. They seem to be enjoying themselves.
"Too bad I'm asleep at home missing it." James tells the floor.
Cautiously James stepped onto the floor. He surprisingly didn't fall through. James thought that he'd drop through unexpectedly and "crash" the party. But he knew that his friends would kill him for it.
James peeled his gaze away from the interesting floor movie. He looked around the room. The walls were a soft, gentle brown color. Could this be related to her personality? The furniture was varied in color. Could this be related to her travels? Above her bed hung a giant poster of mountains covered with layers of white, fluffy snow.
The entire room brought new, unusual questions to mind. It is as if the room reflected her life, to make her feel welcome when she is called.
James took one last look around the room before leaving. When James stepped out, he realized the room had moved farther from the hall. He walked for what seemed like an hour before he found his own room.
As James entered, he found that his room's floor was almost pitch-black. He could hardly make out shapes. He heard voices coming from somewhere but couldn't place where he was. Is this an illusion of some sort?
The walls were painted a dark blue. I am not surprised. Few people know my entire story. I guess it's because I don't let many people get close to me. With the ones that I do, I know I can trust them with anything.
The furniture was like his best friend's, varied in color. As James examined the furniture, he could feel heat and coldness somehow emitting from the furniture. This is a dream for sure.
Against the far wall was a wooden desk and a portable laptop emitting a blue and white light. James walked over and looked at what was on the screen; he was logged onto a social network. A chat window was open; the chat window for his best friend.
He scrolled to the top and read the conversation. They were talking about things that they were going to do over the weekend. She was no longer online. James logged off the network and shut the computer down. There was a black cell phone on the desk as well. It continually showed that he had a missed phone call from his best friend.
As James turned around, he saw hospital machines crammed into the opposite corner. Empty IV bags dangled back and forth. The hospital memories returned instantly. The memories were vivid reminders of an uncertain future.
When James entered the hall, he was nearer to the main hall; reinforcing his dreaming theory. He re-entered to the main hall seconds later.
James turned to look down the seemingly endless main hall. He began to stroll down. The connecting halls seemed to be organized by a person's values. The farther a person goes, the less concerned the person could be about the connecting halls and what they hold.
James finally left the High Court and headed back out into the strange world. The people looked distantly familiar, as if he was back on a European vacation. But in this dream, the landscape changed every time he entered and exited a building.
James found the local post office after wandering aimlessly for what seemed like weeks. He asked a woman in line where he was, hoping that he might get even a slight clue.
"You are in the City of Rome," she said in a light Italian accent. "Well, I'm off to America. I hope to see you there."
"Wait…"
He tried to question further, but the woman got her mail and marched out of the post office. She vanished into the nothingness, like the others. Why couldn't anyone give him a simple, direct answer?
The strange girl appeared from nowhere in front of him. Happiness danced in her eyes with wild excitement, her cheeks rosier than usual. Her fingers twitched with joy.
"Have you figured out where you are now?" she asked, grinning slightly. "After all, you are very good at mental games. We know."
"Yes, I'm in the Capitols of Earth." James said.
"Yes, that's right. Now follow me." She replied dreamily.
"Wait, take me Home." James said.
"I can't take you home, but I'll show you."
The girl led him outside and into a special unmarked building. In the middle of a room was a basin filled with a strange purple liquid. It poisoned and healed. It excited and depressed. It showed the most desired and undesired things.
James walked over to the basin and peered in. The purple liquid reflected a group of people surrounding a person lying on the floor. They looked to be around his age. The group surrounded a young adult man that lay stone stiff on the ground. One of the group members was kneeling by the body; she shook the unconscious man and wept uncontrollably. She led the way in calling the man's name, but the man didn't respond.
James watched as the group continued to call the man back from his deep slumber. The weeper collapsed onto the man. James sensed that weeper's will was strong, but her hope was weak. Her hair fell over her face, concealing her identity. A friend attempted to pull the weeper off the man, but she rejected the help. She continued to shake the motionless body with a tight grip, as if he meant something to her. After a few minutes, her friend gave up and simply pulled the weeper's hair to one side allowing James to study the weeper.
"Come. We need to return." the strange girl said gently. "It is useless to stay. It cannot be fixed here. This is a place for remembering for the present, not the curious future."
James studied the weeper for one final minute. Her hair gave the impression of the softest brown; it curled like snakes. Her face revealed a soft, gentle nature. Her eyes emitted roars of anguish. She gripped the body with all the strength she had. Tears flooded the weeper's face, staining her glorious features.
"I feel that I met her somewhere before. I feel that I loved her before I fell into this strange dream. I made the promise to myself on my useless life that I would lay my life down to protect her from any harm," James said to the refection.
The girl shifted impatiently beside him.
"I would rather die than see her hurt. To see her unharmed, that would be my final pursuit of happiness. But I will soon awake, and all will be well. I will reassure her that I simply fell asleep and was dreaming."
The girl turned back to the reflection.
"But the more I think of it, this dream seems all too real. At least two Earth hours have passed since Abra the Eagle tested me. I really screwed things up. I feel guilty for causing the weeping girl pain. I'm a monster and I don't deserve to awake from this nightmare," James continued. Tears began to trickle down his guilty-pale face.
But when a comforting hand rested on his shoulder, all his guilt and thoughts on what he had seen vanished immediately.
"I do not need to feel bad for these people; they are humans. It is their nature to be emotional. I can read their thoughts, something that humans cannot do." James said.
"It cannot be fixed here," She said softly and soothingly.
"Can it be fixed at all?" James asked in a broken voice.
"Yes, but I do not have the necessary power to do so," she replied gently. "We must go find the person who can fix this problem."
James nodded. The strange girl steered him away. The image of the group disappeared, and the liquid resumed swirling aimlessly. The doors shut, and the glass darkened, as if to keep others out. Soon the building merged with the surroundings.
They returned to the post office. The girl directed him to a room in back. This room differed from the rest in the office; it was painted, not pure. On a purple table in the center of the room were a dwarf white book and a black book with the thickness of several encyclopedias.
When she released James, his human emotions returned once again. He was able to think for himself without having the influence of a more powerful person. His guilt and pain returned.
She opened the black book to the first page; his skin died as he watched the book open. He looked at the page. His name and his date of his death, written in red ink, magically moved down the page. More names were added.
Fear controlled his body for the first time in more than a decade. James flipped frantically through the pages and found friends and family in the book. Sweat began to run down his dead-white skin. James scanned the endless book with lighting speed, but he couldn't hold it long. He dropped the book, his palms bloody red.
He let his hand hover over the names. Moderate heat emits from the pages, as if the book was in a fire. James scanned faster, the heat blistering his hands. After he found all his relations, he closed the book. The sound echoed around the room as if a bomb had just exploded.
The girl continued to stare at James with a slight smile. Enormous wakes broke in her ocean eyes. Happiness and intelligence danced in the oceans, laughing and playing about. James finally realized that he had fallen into a trap, and there was little hope of escape. This was no longer a dream, but reality.
"He has shown me your life, including your happiness during high school and beyond," she said with the slight smile. Her cheeks darkened.
"I see," James said after a short pause. His cheeks went slightly pink. "He must trust you greatly with that information."
At that moment, James realized who the strange girl was. For the first time in a long time he was seeing her face-to-face. She had changed so much since the Departure; she had become a stronger person mentally. Yet she hasn't aged a day.
"Do you finally understand why you are here?" his Lost Friend asked, the dreaminess gone from her voice.
"Yes, but tell me where is She?"
This time, his Lost Friend opened the white book to the last page. James saw his best friend's name and date of birth written in green ink, moving downward to the end. He placed his hands on the page; it felt very soothing. James felt his burns begin to heal.
"Can't I do something to stop this?" James asked desperately, turning to face his friend. The sweat on his face quickly turned to tears. Fear was strengthening its chokehold on him.
"It is His Law, not mine. I should know He called me at an early age. What we crave most is the hardest to get. You know this, yet you still strive for something that can never happen."
"Hard work pays off. I should know. I've done it before," James said, his cheeks darkening to red. "You should know, after all. With all that time watching Home, didn't you learn anything?"
His Lost Friend's smile only grew. Her happiness and Intelligence continued dancing and singing about, with not a care in the world.
"But there is something that doesn't make sense to me," James said. Happiness and Intelligence froze in their dance, their giant eyes now fixed on him. "Why did He call you from Home? He had multiple chances to call me, but He kept giving me the Green Slip."
"That is something that only He knows," James' Lost Friend replied softly. The wide smile vanished instantly.
"He could've kept you in the House and called me to guard the Gates. I never wanted any of my friends to suffer. I wish all their burdens could be thrust onto me. I don't care how much pain I receive. I just want everyone to be happy," James said in full honesty. "Sometimes I wish our places were exchanged."
"As for your best friend, she shall be sent to The Other Side for her New Beginning." James' Lost Friend said in a cold steel tone, after millennia. Happiness and Intelligence resumed their dancing and laughter.
"Why can't—?" James began.
"I said it before. He decides what happens. I have no power there. I am simply a messenger," James' Lost Friend interrupted.
James tried to dam his emotions, but his Faith and Hope were already drowning. His best friend had changed his life dramatically. Without Her, his heart would be forced to forever swim in Guilt and Regret.
"She is a huge part of my life. If she's gone, I don't know what I'll do. Just knowing that she's around would give me the strength to trudge out this life. But first I will have to receive permission return to Earth," James says in a broken voice.
"It is His Plan, not mine. You should remember the four answers or plans He has for his Children," she said coldly. Her sly smile returned.
They began to pace the room. James tried to remember, but his memory of living had begun to cease. What is life? What is death? He continued to pace, thinking of what she was talking about.
"Remind me of them, please," James finally said in his forced voice, after hours of pacing. Streams had already formed on his pale face. It would be mere minutes before his dams burst. James' breathing intensified as time passed.
"They are as follows: Go, the plan is right. No, I have a different plan for you. Grow; you must mature before the plan can work. Slow, be careful to carry out the plan."
James saw his best friend's name reach the final page of the white book.
"Please let her stay! Put her weight on me! Put her punishment on me!" James shouted helplessly to the emptiness.
His Lost Friend looked at him as if he was insane and should stay and not be given any sympathy when judged. Deep down in the core of his soul, James knew that it was true.
"I should never be allowed to live after all the destruction I've caused. I have no justification for my actions. I acted on a pure impulse and I have to pay the harshest cost," James told the emptiness.
Fear and Pain had reached James' dams. He tried to hold on for a few more minutes, but it was no use. Fear caused the dams to break and his oceans to empty onto his desert face. Tsunamis rushed down his face, leaving his eyes nothing but colorless rings and black holes. James' heart pounded furiously with the force of ten thousand drums as his breathing turned to gasping.
James' heart raced, as if it was trying to escape its lonely prison, as if to give itself as a sacrifice for Her. His arms went numb and his blood froze. James' legs gave way to the strong hopelessness. Pain made his body shake violently; writhing on the floor in misery. What else was there to live for when he had lost everything?
"Can't you do anything?" James managed to ask.
"I'm sorry. I can't help you," she said softly. "I just don't have the necessary power."
His Lost Friend left the room, leaving a disfigured and hopeless person to suffer in his own loneliness. James watched his friend as the darkness of the hallway swallowed her whole.
It's over. It's finally over. I am alone. I never thought that it would end like this. I have, in a strange way, been prepared for this inevitable event. Since I was born, I have been told that I would not make it to three years. Well, they were wrong. They should've said I wouldn't make it to college. It's a little more accurate in my book.
I am truly alone for the remainder of my life, or what life I have left to live on Earth. The Living will forget about me soon. Their lives will be showered with success. I, on the other hand, will be forever trapped in this ever-changing world. I am truly alone and though it's painful, I will wait until my time comes again.
I know that here I will lie until my soul has matured, for I am Nothing. When my identity is shattered throughout history I will be given an opportunity to redeem myself. I will have to start all over from the beginning, my New Beginning. I deserve this punishment; nobody can change what I have done.
As James lay on the floor, high school memories flooded his mind.
Freshman year…what did I do freshman year? Sophomore year? Junior year? Senior year is the only year that comes to mind. I remember that I met new people at the beginning of the year. Those people quickly became friends.
I remember the Homecoming Dance was crazy fun. I regret not dancing with Her. I think I danced with fifteen or sixteen people when the dance finally ended. Something crazy like that; it could've been a hundred people. I can't recall.
Suddenly, the wooden door swung shut and hardened to bronze. The painted walls disappeared and pure walls took their place. The black book opened to James' name and froze. The name of his best friend froze on the last line.
"You show great care for your best friend," a wise and powerful voice said calmly.
James' blood unfroze as he looked up. The door was a rich bronze color, richer than he had ever seen. It took James a few seconds to realize who was speaking, and he bowed his head instantly. But a strong gust thrust his head back, making him stare at the door.
"With all the prayers, you above all others know how much I care about my best friend. I know that I deserve to stay here after breaking my Promise," James answered shakily, tears still dripping off his face. James pulled himself into a sitting position. "I truly regret leaving Her, and not telling Her the truth. I was tentative, and so I didn't tell Her my feelings toward her. My feelings for Her cannot be expressed in numbers or words. Nor can they be divided."
"Indeed, I know what you say. That is why I shall send you back to your Home. I will call you again at a later time," the Voice said. "Just know that you are very fortunate. You have friends who care deeply about your safety as you do theirs. You live to teach others, and for others to teach you."
As the voice spoke, a green mist seeped through the metal door. James' eyes snapped shut in an instant, traveling back through the strange dimensions. There were explosions, cheering, crying, and then dead living silence. His soul rejoined his body in a hard lurch. Normality coursed through his body.
It took James a few minutes to realize hands were shaking his extremely tired body. Someone or something was pressed against his body. A remarkably familiar voice called his name several times over in a cracked and teary tone from a foreign land. James tried to open his eyes to tell the voice he was alive, but his body refused to do even the slightest movement.
The shakings became tentative. James continued to hear great crying from the foreign land. Lost Hope encircled him and taunted his weary mind. He put up what fight he had left, but it was no use.
As James lay on the ground with strong Lost Hope circling him, he looked back on his life. I can say that it is a miracle that I am here today. Lost Hope has been chasing me throughout my life; like a bully that you can't outrun. But times have changed. I entered high school as a timid person. With help, I have overcome all obstacles. I no longer live in doubt, but in the truth.
I know my days in high school are over. I am able to say my short time in high school was one of the greatest times. My best friend helped me in ways I never dreamed of. I will never be able to forget the time that we spent together.
The friends that I have made will never leave my life. In the beginning of high school I was shy. That changed when I sought refuge in sports. But that was a typical tentative move. I truly became outgoing when I saw the unbelievable talent in my best friend. The best way I can possibly describe—no that's a lie. I can't even begin to describe her talent.
I really regret taking the drug now. I don't deserve any friends after tonight, not with my horrible actions. I hold myself and only myself responsible for my actions. My best friend is a much better person than I am. She has remained faithful to me. I tried to leave her forever.
After an eternity passed, James' eyes opened to see close friends standing around him. He tried to move, but his body ached terribly. His best friend hugged him tightly, her heart beating faster than lightning. James hugged her back with what strength he had. Her body glistened with a heavy coat of sweaty fear. Her face was stained with oceans of tears, her milk-chocolate hair clinging to her red cheeks.
"He's alive!" A friend cried in shock.
"We thought we had lost you," James' best friend said in a teary and relieved tone, as she pulled herself off him.
"You have no idea how close I came to losing everything," James replied weakly.
As time passed, friends dispersed to their homes. Soon it was James and his best friend. James pulled himself into a sitting position.
"What happened?" James asked. The Journey had shadowed much of his recent living memory.
"You took a powerful drug someone gave you," she said as softly as she could. "We threw the person out. We wanted to call the hospital, but nobody had the courage to call. You seized up, and after about thirty minutes, your heart stopped. After that we lost all hope."
"I took the drug willingly." James admitted. A flurry of emotions crossed his best friend's face. He didn't expect anything less. This news shakes everyone to their core.
"Why would you do such a thing?" she asked in a low voice after a long dead silence. Tears were still running down her face. Anger and Fear growled in her eyes.
"Life is agony, and agony is unlimited. Living this life has been so painful; some people hardly realize the pain others struggle with. I didn't see anything to live for. That's why I tried to take an early exit. It was while I was traveling through what I thought was the dream world that made me realize what I had done to you."
"You know that there are people that you can always talk to," James' best friend reminded him. "There are people that will always support you, no matter what."
Another long dead silence followed. James was scared to look at her, to meet her eyes. James chanced a glance at her. Anger and Fear looked back at him. Shaking their great heads at him with disgust, they looked away.
"I know. When I saw that you were going to die, I realized that the cure for this agony would be separated from me forever," James said to break the painful silence, avoiding her gaze. "I love you too much to see you suffer."
His best friend's expression softened slightly. Anger and Fear still glared. More emotions appeared in her tear-stained eyes. They huddled in a massive group; their backs turned to him except for Hope. Hope looked into James' soul and assured him that everything he wants is within reach. Strong Doubt replied for James. Her Hope beamed despite the reply.
James stared at the floor, knowing that he deserved to die; he didn't deserve another Green Slip. No life is safe from traumatic events. But when they are avoidable, it just adds to the pain. Some people just have to learn things the hard way. But even when the lesson is learned, it may have been learned too late.
James slowly got to his feet; his body still exhausted from the Journey. His legs were hard to control, as the Journey had been a dizzying one. The house felt relatively smaller than the last time he had visited. He collected his things quickly.
"I love you,"
"Take care," she said softly as they hugged for a final time.
"Friends Forever,"
James left the house and started back home in the darkness and his New Beginning.