A/N

It had to be done. I just couldn't resist. I was thinking to myself, "Hmm, maybe this is stupid." But who cares? Maybe that's what makes it funnier XD

This will be a short story with probably 3-4 chapters, just so you know. It is a Dib and Zim Friendship Fic.

I do not own Invader Zim, etc.

Enjoy and Review!

"Space monster!"

"Pig head!"

"Alien scum!"

"Snot butt!"

"Shorty!"

A sharp, unbelieving gasp popped from Zim's mouth. "How dare you call a mighty Irken elite short! You're the same height as me, you, you…pig head!"

Dib scoffed. "Mighty Irken Elite? You couldn't conquer a sandwich, Zim!"

The conversation wafted through the room into the next. Their endless bickering continued, grinding down on Gaz's every nerve from her perch on the living room couch. It wasn't the fact that she was not used to this type of behavior from her brother and his enemy. They had been at it since they were eleven, which was saying something considering they were now both seventeen. She had heard every insult from the book fly from their mouths at one another.

No, what made this the worst of all, the cherry on top of a heap of childish antics, was that Zim wasn't having this argument with Dib in the kitchen. No, Dib had actually called Zim up from his house, at ten o'clock at night, just to argue with him.

This was all over the phone.

The heat in Gaz's chest rose until it boiled over. The whites of her knuckles deepened as her grip on her Game Slave tightened. She glanced sideways at the clock on the wall. They had been at it for over an hour. She couldn't take it anymore.

"That's it," she growled.

Dib did not notice when Gaz rose from her seat and stomped into the kitchen. He was too busy flailing his arms wildly with unnecessary gestures directed to Zim. It was not until Gaz had taken the phone from him and slammed it back into its cradle did he say something.

"Gaz!" he whined. "What'd you do that for? I had a really good comeback!" He reached for the phone.

Gaz quickly blocked it, shoving him over. "That's enough, Dib," she spat. "Talk with your little geek enemy at school. Just don't bring it home where I have to listen to it all day and night."

"But, Gaz, the world depends on this argument and the—oh, hold on." His pocket vibrated. He plucked his phone out and flipped it open, pressing it to his ear. "Hello?"

Gaz clenched her teeth to contain the pushing urge to scream when she heard Zim's voice talking through the other end. "He called your cellphone to continue?" she yelled in disbelief.

Dib did not hear her. He was already back at it, arguing away with the extraterrestrial.

"That's it! I've had it with both of you! Dib," she ordered, "turn your cellphone on speakerphone."

"Gaz—!"

"Now!"

He cringed, and quickly, the cellphone was turned onto speakerphone, revealing Zim to be in the middle of a long line of obscene insults.

"Can it, Zim," Gaz said.

"What? Who? Who dares speak to the Zim in such a way?" he shouted.

"Listen up. I'm sick of you and Dib doing nothing but arguing. Don't you have anything better to do with your lives?"

She could hear his evident smirk as he replied haughtily, "Insulting the Dib is the highlight of my day, naive little Gaz."

"Why don't you act like normal teenagers and go out?"

"Go out?" Dib asked. "With him?"

"Go out?" Zim repeated. "You mean, like to outer space?"

"Oh, geez, Zim," Dib replied. "She means get out of the house and hang out with friends."

Zim laughed. "But everyone knows the Dib-worm has no friends!"

"Neither do you!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, your head is large!"

"That's it, space boy! I—"

"Shut up!" Gaz hollered. "I don't care if you hang out together, just as long as you leave so that I don't have to hear you." She ignored their protests and spoke over them. "Someone from Skool is throwing a party. Go to it." She left the room.

"But we weren't even invited," Dib reminded. "We can't just show up. Besides, I'm not going anywhere with that green thing."

"Who are you calling green, you fleshy sack of stupidity!" Zim squeaked.

Gaz came back, resisting the urge to punch her brother, and handed him a slip of paper with an address on it. "It's right down the street. Go there and act normal." She huffed, adding, "If you can."

Dib scoffed. "I'm not showing up to some guy's party, uninvited—especially with Sir Incapable," he added, pointing at the phone.

"You are acquainted with a human by the title of Sir Incapable?" Zim questioned innocently. "Wow! He must be a real dork, like you, Dib!"

Dib shook his head.

"You're holding your invitation," Gaz said. "It was mine, but I'm never going to use it. I'd rather get you two out of my hair."

"Wait, since when do you get invited to anything?" Dib wondered. "You're as antisocial as Zim and I."

She folded her arms. "First off, there's a difference between me and Zim and you. I choose not to hang out with these idiots. You guys can't make any friends 'cause you're dorks—"

"Hey—!" Dib and Zim shouted.

"—Second, I tortured the guy until he coughed up that invitation."

"But if you weren't planning on going anyways, why did you bother beating him up?" Zim said, stealing the words from Dib.

She shrugged. "Just beating him up was fun. But that's beside the point. If you don't leave and go to that party this second," she gritted her teeth and dangerously growled, "I'm going to kill both of you and you will rot."

"Pitiful human," Zim snickered. "You honestly think your measly little threats will frighten the Zim? You are even more stupid than I thought!"

Dib gulped as he saw Gaz calmly walk out of the kitchen and out the front door completely. As soon as the door closed, through the phone he heard a door open on Zim's side.

"Wait," Zim muttered. "What are you doing with that screwdriver—? AAHHHHH!"

Dib shook his head as the Irken continued to scream, yet he pulled away from the phone when sparks began shooting out from it. Then the front door swooped open, and Gaz walked back into the kitchen, emotionless. "I don't want to know what you did to him," he said.

"You're right," she agreed. "You don't."

"Zim, are you still alive?" Dib asked. A soft, hoarse gasp was his reply. He nodded slowly. "Then I guess we'd better do this, before I'm next."

"Wise choice," Gaz smirked. She began to walk away when Dib called to her.

"What are we even supposed to do together? You know we hate each other."

"Well, then, I guess that's just going to make this evening a little more interesting, isn't it?" she smiled devilishly before leaving the room.

A/N

Short, I know, but this is just the introduction. Sorry if it is a little slow. I think you will enjoy the next chapter though.

Were any of the characters out of character? I have not written in a week or two, plus I have lost many hours of sleep so my writing skills may be a bit rusty.

Thanks for reading and Chapter 2 will be up soon!