Alright everyone? :). This is a crossover between Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy and The Mighty Boosh, because... Well, that would just blow my tiny mind, yeah?
Basically, this is a tester chapter, to see if people like it. If I get good feedback, I'll post the rest yeah? I mean, if I have just one reader, I'll post more. Because seriously, I love my readers, and if they want stuff, they can have it.
And it's in the 'Boosh category, 'cause Luxury Comedy doesn't have one (not last time I checked), and I reckon I won't get views if I create one. And I think people need to see this. Not because I wrote it, but because Luxury Comedy doesn't get nearly enough love. It's just mid-blowingly good, as a standalone project, particularly since Noel Fielding's always been part of a double-act, and he's a seriously funny man, even on his own. And people just don't appreciate that enough.
So here goes :L... Try and enjoy, and bear in mind that it's well difficult to write for Luxury Comedy. Seriously :P.
Noel leant back in his seat, admiring his work. The Lego sculpture was one of his best, the large, multi-coloured zebra taking up most of his desk. He had slaved over it all afternoon, and now he found himself craving a packet of Nik-Naks as a reward.
The thing was, it would be almost impossible to reach for bell that would summon his butler without knocking the sculpture to the floor.
"Smooth!" he yelled. When there was no reply, he tried again. "SMOOTH!"
After a full minute of waiting there was still no sign of the creature in question so, with a sigh, he lifted himself from his chair and headed toward the kitchen.
There was no sign of Smooth. He didn't even bump into Andy along the way. And then, when he finally got to the kitchen through the mass of corridors that inexplicably fit inside the hut, he found that there were, in fact, no Nik-Naks to be found.
So who had taken them?
There could only be two culprits. Dolly couldn't have done it- she wouldn't eat anything that wasn't 'low calorie'. Smooth couldn't digest savoury snack foods. There had been a particular incident in which Noel had force-fed him a Wotsit and his nose had swollen to twice its size and turned an alarming shade of green. Andy didn't like Nik-Naks, full stop.
That left Tony Reason or Fantasy Man.
Tony couldn't have done it, Noel decided. He would have left puddles on the floor and the cupboard handles would be damp.
So he stalked from the kitchen angrily, having chosen his target. Fantasy Man was in the clearing below the hut, he knew. He had been there all day, attempting to teach Arnold 5 the difference between chips and fries, with little success. When Noel's curiosity had gotten the better of him and he had tried to find out exactly why he thought it was necessary to teach a unicorn about potato products, the reply had bordered on comical.
"How else are we going to infiltrate McDonald's?" Fantasy Man had said exasperatedly, as though it was obvious.
"McDonald's? Why?" Noel had pressed, deciding not to point out that McDonald's only sold fries so it really didn't matter whether Arnold 5 was well-educated on the subject or not. In fact, his time would be better spent teaching him the difference between beef burgers and chicken burgers. And besides that, just what did the difference between chips and fries have to do with the infiltration of the restaurant? Was he going to send the unicorn in to work the counter or something? In fact, that probably was his plan. To be fair, if that was the case, it was one of his best.
Noel was so caught up silently dissecting Fantasy Man's words that he almost missed the answer to his second question.
"Where else would the Spangly Nugget of True Taste be hidden?"
"The what?"
"The Spangly Nugget of True Taste," Fantasy Man repeated impatiently. "It is the most delectable morsel of all the chicken family. Now leave us be. There's work to be done."
Noel had complied, barely any the wiser, and watched from a distance as Fantasy Man continued his fruitless attempts at educating his 'trusty steed'. Eventually, he had lost interest and called Smooth to nip to the shop and buy him a bucket of Lego.
Presently, he shook his head to himself as he made his way to his desk. He reached beneath it, found his megaphone, and went to edge of the open room, kneeling down and leaning over the side.
"Oi!" he yelled through the megaphone, making Fantasy Man jump so hard his moustache fell crooked. "Fantasy Man! Where are my Nik-Naks?"
"Nik-Naks?" Fantasy Man called back, a hint of nervousness in his tone. "What are these Nik-Naks you speak of?"
"Don't think you can play dumb!" Noel argued. "I've seen you, eyeing them up when you thought nobody was looking. Now where are they?"
But Fantasy Man was spared having to give an answer right away as Noel's wrist-phone started ringing loudly. He frowned at it, and then glanced back down at the clearing.
"I'm not finished with you," he warned. Then he set down the megaphone and answered the call.
It was Secret Peter, of course.
"Alright, Noel?"
"Yes, Peter?"
Noel's tone held more than a hint of weariness. He had been called on at least six separate occasions already that day, each for a totally mundane or completely mental thing, and to be frank, he was getting a bit sick of it now.
"Yeah, Noel, I just thought I should warn you, I'm opening your hut to the general public. Like a sort of resort, but up a tree."
"What?" Noel cried. "Are you serious?"
"You can be the manager, yeah? I'll cut you in on the profit."
"Well what if I say no?"
"I'll kick you out."
"Oh, thanks. I'm a good tenant, you know."
"Relax. It's just this once. Some friends of my mate, Bob Fossil. So be nice to them, or I'll send Al Grater round to sort you out, yeah?"
This was said perfectly conversationally, and Noel didn't believe for one second that he was seriously threatening to set Al (half-alligator, half-cheese grater) on him. But he did believe that he might chuck him out, and he really did like the hut, even if he was surrounded by loons.
"Fine. Just this once. But you could've asked me first."
"I'll tell you in advance next time, yeah?"
"Next time? What do you mean next time?"
But Peter had already gone.
With a sigh, Noel snapped his watch-phone shut and scooped up the megaphone, fully intending to readdress the Nik-Naks issue. But Fantasy Man was deep in conversation with a stranger that might have been a man or a woman- it was hard to tell from his vantage point- while another man gazed up at the hut in amazement.
The 'general public' had arrived.
Right, well that's that then xD. So if there's any characters you'd like me to specifically include in the future, or anything you want to happen, I can try and fit it in. Since this really won't have much plot, to be fair. I just wanted the two shows to meet. Particularly with Vince and Noel, because they're both kind of based off of Noel Fielding himself (or Vince was originally and then he kind of escalated in the next series, I think), and as a result, they're sort of similar. So I reckon their interaction'll be *creepy foreign voice* preeety eeenteresting.
So yeah, drop me a review and let me know what you think, or if you've got any ideas you want me to put in, and I'll see what I can do, eh?
Ta ta for now ;).