Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing.

A\N: Ok, so this fic takes place after the Cinq kingdom "freeing" from under the Alliance power by Zechs but not before he left it.

Anyhow, I think I should admit this before you start reading; I wrote this fic without rewatching the episode, meaning I don't think that everything will be 100% accurate, so if I changed anything, please, humor me.

Now, enjoy ^_* :

Goodbyes

"No! Relena!" Zechs screamed raising his body out of bed. It was a nightmare. He reached for the glass of water he always keeps at his nightstand. "Oh God," he whispered realizing he was shivering and his body was covered with sweat.

Ever since they came to Cinq, the nightmares never left him. It's been over than thirteen years now and he still remembers that night as it happened yesterday. He sighed as he reached for his room's balcony and opened its door; the air was cold, but it felt so good on his bare chest. He steeped outside, still thinking, he hadn't dreamt that nightmare in so long, he used to dream it every night after the fire that killed his parents, and caused him to leave his two years old sister; seeing her there crying and unable to get out of the flames, till that man jumps and saves her. Zechs didn't know who he was at first, but when he took him to his house and raised him with his son, he became more than a father to him; that man was Gerald Khushrenada, father of Treize Khushrenada.

But that nightmare stopped a long time ago, it stopped when he finally knew what to do, when he finally decided he was going to take revenge some day, he was going to make those people who killed his parents, took his sister away from him, and burned the kingdom of peace, pay.

Of course, no one knew about his plan, no one except for Treize, who promised he'd do everything to help him one day, and he did, he fulfilled his promise and gave him the chance to take his revenge at last.

Unfortunately, taking revenge was not as comforting as he thought it would be. No, not taking revenge alone, but coming here again after everything, after everything he had done.

He grabbed the cold edge of the balcony. "I failed him," he said no loader than a whisper, I failed my father. I should be happy that he's dead and didn't get the chance to see what his son has become. He added covering his face with his hands, suddenly feeling the need of his mask back on; he never takes it off, part in Noin's presence of course. But he had to take it off that night, he no longer needed it, but it felt like it became a part of his life, a part of himself, like he wasn't whole without wearing it.

Why did that dream had to come back tonight? He asked himself angrily, was he not supposed to take revenge for his parents? For his kingdom? Was it wrong for Milliardo Peacecraft to finally get out and take what was his? He felt like screaming out load of the pain burning inside of him reaching for answers. He thought that revenge will give him peace, but it didn't, it only made him more angry with himself, it made him realize who he was, it made him realize the things he has done to get here, the deaths he caused, the disasters he helped creating, abandoning his family's values and ideals of pacifism...

"What have I done? Who am I? Am I Milliardo Peacecraft the prince of peace, or Zechs Marques the lightning count?" he said to the cold night.

No, you're not Milliardo Peacecraft. He answered himself, Milliardo Peacecraft was Cinq's crowned prince, he was going to be the next king of peace, but he died a long time ago, he died with his parents that night thirteen years ago.

Now, the man who stood on this balcony was Zechs Marques, a soldier of OZ, a man whose hands were covered with blood, a man who was no better than the men who invaded the kingdom of peace years ago. Yes, he was an invader, this place wasn't his home anymore, he was foreign to it, and he needed to leave it as fast as possible.

This place belonged to his queen, to Relena, it belonged to her kind and beautiful heart and ideals of pacifism it held, it belonged to her innocence. She was this place -heck! This world! - last hope.

He had to leave, if it was in his hands he would have left the minute he killed that man, but Noin didn't let him, she insisted on him staying till his final recovery. She got doctors to see him and took care of him personally, she got him food to his room and made sure he took his meds on time.

He couldn't say no to her, she knew what she was to him, and never failed to use that on him whenever she wanted something.

It happened a long time ago, finding out his feelings for her, before that he had never thought it was possible to feel that way for anyone but once he saw her, it was no longer his choice.

He sighed in the freezing air and decided to grab a sweater if he was going to stay out there any longer. He went inside and took the sweater of the edge of the bed and wore it.

He wasn't supposed to feel that way, he thought getting back to where he stood earlier , he had always told himself, he would avenge his parents and not let anything get in the way till he does, but then she came, she got into his life, and he knew it won't be the same anymore.

He first met her at the academy, he was a couple of years older than she was, but she never failed to impress him with her abilities, no one was better than her, he enjoyed teasing her by getting higher marks in exams or finishing any task given to them faster than her, but he had to admit it, sometimes he doubted that she purposely let him win over her.

Of course, it wasn't long till he fell for her, and she knew it, they used to steal a few moments whenever they both had a break and stay alone, talking under the hot savanna sun. He used to take the mask off whenever they were alone, and she used just touch his face with her little fingers, as if not believing that he was real, it was difficult for him to imagine those same fingers holding the handles of a mobile suit and driving it with all that creativity.

He had told her everything in the end, she was the only person he couldn't hide it from, and she understood, though he thought she wasn't going to, she didn't judge him, she just listened as he told her about his childhood, about his sister, and about that night he lost everything. Then it was her turn, she told him her story, she told him how her family died that night too, how they died in the night of the Cinq kingdom invasion.

When she told him that, he felt like he found family, he felt that somehow, a part of his old life has returned to him, she was from Cinq too, she was from home.

Since then, whenever Zechs comes close to her, he smells home, and if he closed his eyes he could see it too, he could see his family, his home, the stolen laughs and distanced memories.

But it all needed to stop in the end, graduation day came closer than both of them wanted to believe, and he had to end it, he had to stop his feelings for her from destroying everything. He made it fast, he broke up with her the night he had to leave in, Treize had already found him his first mission, he was the first of their class to leave, so, he made it quick and left.

Of course, Noin, being Noin, didn't buy it, she knew that something was wrong, so she told him she'll wait, he told her it was in no use and tried to make her believe that he no longer wanted to be with her, but it was all in no use. Though a part of him always hoped she'd really wait for him, he didn't want her to waist her life waiting for a ghost, but it was his secret day dream, being able to lead a normal life with her away from all of this, however, it couldn't be done as long as he hadn't had his revenge yet.

She kept trying to contact him, for she -against everyone's expectations- decided to stay and teach at lake Victoria, he was shocked when he knew of her plane, but after all, Noin never listens to anyone, even him, so he left it as it was.

He didn't see her for a long time after, but then they needed to stay at the academy for a while and he had to see her again, she hadn't change one bit, but she got tougher, he could see that, even thought her motherly feelings for her soldiers never changed.

He couldn't help but to let his old feeling jump back again as soon as he saw her, she took him to the room her soldiers went to have "fun", she was clearly trying to flirt with him, and he was almost certain that if it wasn't for the attack by that Gundam pilot that night, something more would have happened.

Zechs thoughts stopped here, as he saw something moving in the garden that the balcony he stood on viewed, it was a kind of a blur, but his soldier instinct told him differently. It was a full moon night, and everything was clear under its silver light. So he jumped out of the edge of the balcony. It wasn't that far from the ground so it didn't quit cause him a problem, then walked to the way he saw the movement coming from.

"Who's there?" he asked as he came closer.

"Colonel? I thought I was the only one awake at this hour!" the familiar voice came from the end of the semi-road he took to the middle of the garden.

"Noin? What on earth..." he began.

"Oh! I'm sorry colonel, but the garden looked so tempting under the moon light, and I couldn't sleep," she said explaining.

"Noin, hadn't I told you to stop calling me colonel? We practically grow up together," he said reaching for the nearest bench he found and sat on it, the jump didn't quit "not cause a problem" he felt his wounds hurting him again.

"Oh," she said following and sitting next to him.

She didn't say anything else, but it was enough for him to know that he had said something wrong, Noin was good at hiding her feelings from everyone, but not from him, he knew her more than anyone.

"Come on, Noin. You know you're more than that to me," he told her holding her hand in his.

She shock her head and started to touch his face with her fingertips as she used to do whenever they were alone, as if just noticing his missing mask. "I know that very well," she smiled. "It's just that..." she stopped, leaning her face away from his and dropping her free hand from his face.

"What is it?" he whispered, trying to observe her features in the dim light.

She lifted her head again to look at his eyes, "I thought that now that you had what you wanted that..." she stopped again, not knowing how to continue.

He didn't know what to say, she still remembers, she's still waiting for him. "Noin..." he finally began, but stopped as well. She was crying, he could feel it even if not see it.

"Don't." she said trying to hide her tears with a little smile, then failing. "Don't Zechs, if you are going to say goodbye again, then don't" she looked away again. "If you were going to leave, then just leave this time, please..." she couldn't continue, her voice broke against her well and the tears took the best part of her.

Zechs couldn't take it any longer, he moved her face to meet his, and let his lips find hers. She was surprised at first but then kissed him back. He could taste her tears, but that didn't matter, it felt like it's been a life time since he last kissed her, her lips were even sweeter than he remembers they ever were.

He moved his hands to support her body against his as their kiss deepened, and she moved hers, let one wonder through his long blond hair and the other rested around his neck.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Are you asleep?" she whispered raising her head to be able to see his face as it was resting on his chest. He half opened his eyes to look at hers. She smiled as he moved his hand to brush her cheek.

"I'm sorry," he whispered after a while, but his voice disappeared and he didn't know how to continue, for what he was sorry, he did not know, maybe for doing all of this to her, for hurting her by his constant goodbyes, maybe he needed to apologize before it was too late, he needed to apologize as long as he had the chance to.

"Zechs, you don't need to apologize for anything." she whispered back as well, "when I loved you, I knew what I was signing up for." she finished joking.

He didn't laugh, just tried to make a smile but failed. "When you said you'll wait, I didn't think you'll really do it." he confessed.

She smiled to him, "you know that I'll wait forever if I needed to, and some day, some day Zechs, you will come back to me, you will, I know it" she finished closing her eyes, as if imagining what their life would be like if he ever does "come back".

He didn't say anything to her, but didn't want anything more than believing her; he wanted to believe that so badly.

A couple of minutes passed, without one of them saying anything, she re put her head on his chest. He didn't close his eyes again, he didn't want this night to end, any extra moment with her was more precious than anything else.

She moved her head a little and he could smell her hair, it smelt like her favorite herbal shampoo, and immediately, that feeling of being home again occupied him, he closed his eyes and he could see his family, he could see them there, waiting for him.

"You know, being near you had always made me feel at home." he said no louder than a whisper.

"Why?"

"At first, I thought it was because you were from here too, from Cinq, but now, I know it's not only that." she lifted her head again to look at his again as he spoke. "It's because my home has been always where you are, Noin. Not anywhere else." he took her hand in his and locked his fingers with hers. "Home is where we find our beloved ones, and the big proof is this, since we got here, I never felt like I'm home, but then once I get close to you, I can feel like I went back to those times again".

She smiled to him, just the thought of making him happy, made her happy as well. "I'm glad that I do."

"You can't imagine how that feels like." he answered, closing his eyes, inhaling.

She closed her eyes as well not wanting to think, she didn't want to think about the next morning, nor did he. They didn't want to think about the possibility that the very next morning their goodbye will come, but Noin knew that even if the couldn't see each other for a while, their hearts will always whisper each other names forever...

The end.

So, how was it? Did I screw up the original events so much? :P . Well, anyway, I kind of wrote this in a hurry; I actually wrote it when I was supposed to be studying pharmacology instead, but, oh well, when is a better time to write fanfic than when you are supposed to study? XP

Please make sure to leave a review, I really need some constructive criticism of my writing!

As usual, sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes.

~Sh